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This is another post about Britney Spears, because as I mentioned in my previous post, she’s been on the news a lot lately. Out of all the times she was on the news and celebrity gossip platforms, there were actually only two good updates about her. One, she got married in June to her longtime boyfriend, Sam Asghari, and two, she released her first single in 6 years, ‘Hold Me Closer’, with Elton John. Her wedding came with a hiccup that could’ve ended with very twisted and very dangerous turn of events. Britney’s ex-husband – no, not the money grabbing, low life, and unemployed Kevin Federline – that she was married to for a total of 55 hours in 2004 crashed Britney’s wedding site and frantically and creepily looked for her all throughout her house while holding a knife in his hand. Luckily, the police got involved just in time, and Jason Alexander, the first ex-husband, was arrested and Britney was awarded a restraining order.

I don’t want to talk about Jason Alexander, though. Instead, I want to talk about Kevin Federline. I wouldn’t talk about him either, but he has a lot to do with the topic that we’ve been discussing as of late, which is how Britney Spears has represented women. What does that clown who, according to Britney herself, hasn’t had a job in 15 years, have anything to do with our topic? Well, hear’s the thing:

Britney and Kevin first started dating in 2004, when he was her backup dancer. At the time, he was still in a relationship with someone else, who’s also the mother of his two oldest children. They married later that year and even managed to have their own short lived reality TV show. They had their first child, Sean Preston, in 2005, and their second child, Jayden James, the following year. A few months after welcoming their first child together, Britney seemingly abruptly filed filed for divorce.

Since their divorce, Kevin had stayed out of the public eye and he didn’t make any public statements about his ex-wife unless it was through his lawyer. That was the case up until last month when Kevin did an interview with Daily Mail trashing Britney and her mental health while also defending her father, Jamie Spears for ‘saving her life.’ According to the interviewer, what Kevin said about Britney was so harsh degrading, and disrespectful, that the full version wasn’t released and never will be. He then did another interview, this time with 60 Minutes Australia, where he opened up yet again about Britney’s mental health and conservatorship and even had his son, Jayden, speak about his mother and his and his brother’s strained relationship with her. He backed up his father’s claims that the conservatorship was good for Britney and that his grandfather, Jamie, was only trying to do what was right by his daughter. It’s important to note that just two years prior, Jayden posted to his Instagram account saying he hated his grandfather and wished he were dead.

In between those two interviews, Kevin Federline posted a video on his Instagram page that showed Britney scolding at her sons for misbehaving and going to a store without their shoes on. In the caption, he wrote that the lies had to stop, that it wasn’t even the worst of it, and that it was decided as a family to release the video. While watching the clip, it’s clear that Britney herself had no knowledge that she was being filmed, and therefore, posting the video was considered to be a crime. Britney’s lawyer quickly got involved and made a statement, and the video was quickly deleted thereafter.

It didn’t mean that people stopped having opinions about it, though. Kevin attempted to tear Britney down just like everyone else in her family did, with the exception of her current husband. His plan failed miserably, however, as all the video showed was Britney being a mother, and a good one, to add to that, to her pre-teen sons. The public, specifically mothers, defended Britney’s parenting, and celebrities like Jennifer Lopez and Nicki Minaj showed public support for the singer. Nicki Minaj,, in particular, had a lot to say about the situation:

“Do you understand what kind of a clown you have to be to be a whole grown fucking man and as soon as you see somebody happy and getting married and moving on and being free and feeling good in their own skin, to do the very thing that you know is going to attempt to break them down?” Minaj said. “Going to the media.”

“Only cowards use the media against a famous person who they once loved, they procreated with, they’re being taken care of by, they once were being taken care of by, using the person’s fame as this constant ‘gotcha’ moment… And you think you not gonna have fucking karma from it? You think it’s OK? You think that anybody is gonna feel sorry for you?”

“How dare you. How dare you encourage this woman’s children to be a part of your nonsense? When they look back, they’re going to be like, ‘Why? Why? Why? Why did we do this?’ They’re kids. They don’t know how detrimental this is.” She concluded, “Leave her the f*ck alone.”

I really couldn’t have said it better than Nicki. But I also have something to add to that. If there’s anything we can learn from Britney’s situation, it’s that we, as women, should be very careful as to who we get married to and have children with. We sometimes mistake love with infatuation and vice versa. It’s important to go with our heads and not our hearts when it comes to marriage and children. We really need to get to know the person we’re in a relationship with before we make anything official. Kevin Federline is the perfect example of the absolute wrong person to marry and have children with. He’s the ultimate example of someone who only shows his positive side until he doesn’t get what he wants. In his case, it’s money and control. He gets $20,000 per month for each of his two children with Britney, and that child support is running out in two years. He figured that he could make money off of Britney without any consequences because he was so used to her being manipulated and not being able to speak up for herself and even got his children involved and turned them against her. According to news outlets, Kevin was paid $2.7 million for his interviews. He got the money, but he couldn’t control the narrative, because Britney got her freedom and is now free to do whatever she wants. Speaking up and defending herself was her call. The saddest part of it all was her saying she failed as a mother.

Britney’s toxic family situation made me look at my own. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, but we didn’t marry until 5 years after we started dating. You might think to yourself that it’s too long, and you might be right. But here’s what I think….

When we started dating, we were in our early 20’s. We not only didn’t know each other well, but we also didn’t know ourselves very well either. It took a long time for both of us to do so, especially for me as I was going through a health crisis following a car accident. I’m glad we didn’t get married sooner than we did. In fact, if I were to do things all over again, I’d probably get married in present day, in 2022, now that I have my sh*t together. I’m even more glad – relieved would be the right word – that my husband and I are only now having a baby even though we’ struggled with infertility for more than 4 years, because I can honestly and truthfully say that only now we’re both ready to take care of another human being that will be dependant on us.

Everything in life should come in time. A lot of the time, it doesn’t for some people, women specifically, but it should. It’s a wishful thinking. There’s something called right place, wrong time. I truly believe that.

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