The Graceful Boon

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I recently watched ‘Take Care’ on Amazon Prime, the 2014 movie which starred Leslie Bib and Thomas Sadoski. If I were to do a movie review blog, al I’d have to say about this particular movie is ‘an hour and a half of total cringe.’ Then I’d encourage my readers NOT to waste 90 minutes of their time by watching the movie. I myself wanted to turn it off. But I didn’t because the storyline was something that I related to and went through myself with my husband – more or less.

The movie follows a woman who gets hit by a car. She first relies on her friends to help her until she realizes that they’re not actually interested in helping her because they have better things to do. She attempts to take care of herself, but it’s deemed to be too difficult for her to do so physically. Hence, she comes up with a solution – to call her ex to ask him to take care of her in her time of need. She feels like he owes her that because she took care of him while he was battling cancer.

It really could’ve been a good movie. It had a lot of potential to be a good movie. It had a storyline that could’ve been implemented at a much better pace. The biggest problem I had with it was that it was made to to be a comedy out of a tragic situation that a lot of the times can be deadly. There’s nothing funny about someone getting hit by a car or being involved in a car accident, even if no one dies. The first half hour (AT LEAST!) made a comedy fest out of the aftermath of being hit by a car. What kept me from turning off the movie was the personal connection I had with the storyline.

Throughout the entire year (can you believe it’s been a whole year?!) that I’ve run this blog, all I’ve been telling you about was my struggle with living with cerebral palsy, epilepsy, PCOS, depression and anxiety, as well as life after surviving a car accident. I’m practically an open book. In fact, just yesterday, my husband said I sold my personal life and privacy to the entire internet. It was meant to be a joke, but I can’t deny that there’s at least some truth to it.

Way before I was ever diagnosed with epilepsy and way before I was ever involved in a car accident. My husband got ill. Unlike me, my husband keeps that part of his life absolutely, 100% private. It’s something that only our family and his doctors know any details of. I’d like to respect his wishes and keep it that way. For the sake of this blog, I’ll say it was a difficult few years. Nonetheless, no matter how difficult it ever got, me staying in the relationship and taking care of him wasn’t ever a question. You don’t just get up and leave someone you love.

While watching the movie, I was astounded that the main character thought her ex-boyfriend was obligated to take care of her because she did just that during his battle. I’m only speaking from my own personal experience here. In an alternate universe where my husband and I broke up after his illness, but I still would’ve gotten into a car accident and been diagnosed with epilepsy, I wouldn’t even dare to remotely think to call my husband, who in the alternate universe, would be my ex.

This was the same exact thing I told him while we analyzed the movie after we finished watching it. To my surprise, he responded that if I were to call him in a time of need in the alternate universe, he’d be there for me and take care of me the same way in a heartbeat. Hearing him say that was the sweetest thing. But it was also not much of surprise to me as it’s just the type of person my husband is: a caring soul who’d break an arm and a leg for the people he loves so much.

Even though my husband and I officially got married in September 2016, I always think of us being married since January 2014, which was when he first got ill. Marriage isn’t just about the white fairy tail wedding where you stand in front of a crowd of people you barely know and barely like and just say those wedding vows, ‘In sickness and in health ’till death do us part.’ You can say those words all you like, but at the end of the day, they’re just words. It’s the action that truly counts the most – in marriage and everything else in life.

Ashton Kutcher recently opened up about his battle with a rare autoimmune disease called vasculitis, which caused him to lose his sight, his vision, as well as his ability to walk. While opening up about his private battle, he said:

“You don’t really appreciate it until it’s gone, until you go, ‘I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be able to see again. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to hear again, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to walk again. I’m lucky to be alive.”

When his wife, actress Mila Kunis, was asked how she powered through her husband’s illness, she had the following to say about the matter:

“I don’t think you have time to sit down and talk, you kinda just power through. You go and deal with whatever health issue comes your way, but you still got kids, you still got a family, you have to live life. And I think that we are so fortunate to have one another, but as far as sitting there and incessantly talking about things, no. You gotta do.”

It’s all 100% true. You never truly appreciate your health until it’s all gone, and it could all be gone in just a blink of an eye. Before I was ever diagnosed with epilepsy, I never appreciated all the things I could do back then that I can’t do now, such as having the ability driving, going to bed late, drinking alcohol, going clubbing, and attending concerts. Due to my epilepsy diagnosis, my fertility treatment plans had to be put on hold several times throughout the years. It’s not that my life sucks now. On the contrary, I’m doing well and I’m feeling better than ever. I just didn’t see how fortunate I was at the time to be able to do all those things before.

Then there’s the other side of the equation where your spouse is sick. Watching your spouse be sick is much worse than being sick yourself. You’re watching your spouse struggle to get through the day, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. There’s nothing you can do to help them and make them feel better. All you can do is put a fake smile on your face and go about your day as normal as possible. But when push comes to shove, you fight for your spouse more than you fight for yourself no matter who stands in your way.

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