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You probably thought that the ‘Love Is Blind’ reference was over by now, but news and allegations keep on coming, which means new content keeps on giving. This time, I’d like to specifically talk about Amber Pike and Matt Barnett, who appeared on the show on season 1 and are still married to this day, which is considered to be an eternity in the reality TV world. The couple made headlines recently when Amber was asked about her time on the show. She was one of the many previous contestants who spoke out of the terrible and toxic treatment they received from those who are behind-the-scenes. When someone noted that she and her husband were married because of the show, she responded by saying that she and her husband were married DESPITE the show. I’ll be talking about that particular hoopla next time.

This time, though, I want to discuss Amber and Barnett, and their relationship dynamic specifically. When I first started watching the show, I felt that my husband and I could relate to Amber in some sense. Obviously, I was never, ever in the military. But I was a college student and in debt when my husband and I started dating. By the time we got married, I graduated college or good, but I was still very much in debt. When I watched Barnett worry about his future with Amber due to her debt, I was immediately reminded of my husband’s worries. The worries were valid. I could see it from a third party perspective. But I was completely and utterly oblivious to my husband’s worries. It was thanks to watching Amber and Barnett’s story that I got to understand my husband’s point of view back when I was in debt.

When ‘After The Alter’ episode arc was aired sometime after the first season was over, it was more so evident that my husband and I had a lot more in common with Amber and Barnett than I initially thought. Of course there was a lot of drama because, let’s face it, it wouldn’t be reality TV without any drama. There was, to my surprise, a very vulnerable moment where Amber opens up to her mother-in-law about her epilepsy diagnosis. As she told her mother-in-law, Amber was diagnosed with epilepsy after she suffered a seizure in her bathtub. As per my own knowledge about epilepsy thanks to my own experience with epilepsy, a person is officially diagnosed with the chronic illness after he or she suffers two or more seizures in their lifetime. Therefore, I knew that the whole story about her diagnosis was aired, which is understandable. It was a surprise to me that she was willing to even say out loud while the cameras were rolling that she had a seizure in the first place. Then again, judging by what has been said about about the show’s production, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forced to open up about her diagnosis.

Amber’s heart-to-heart with her mother-in-law resonated with me. My husband could also resonate; not with Amber, but rather with her husband’s perspective on the subject of family planning. A couple deciding that they’re ready to start a family of their own is no joke. Sometimes couples planning to have a child is not in their timeline as it happens by itself , and that can have its own hardships. There’s so much, so many factors, that comes into play when it comes to family planning. Health is one of those factors. In fact, I think health is THE most important factor when it comes down to family planning.

In the After The Alter episode arc of ‘Love Is Blind’, Amber told her mother-in-law that Barnett didn’t want to have children as he doesn’t think it’s safe due to Amber’s health. Amber, on the other hand, was eager to start a family despite her health struggles. When I watched the scene when it first aired, I completely understood where Amber was coming from and I was on her side. Now that I’d gone what I’d gone through to have my son, I realize that if I were to do everything all over again, I would’ve probably done everything completely differently. I risked my health to have my son, and although I love my son with all that I have, I realize now that my health needs to be my one and only priority in life, and it should’ve been all along. Without my health, I can’t be good at anything, and that includes being a good mother.

This brings me to the second couple who got married on the first season of ‘Love Is Blind’, Lauren Speed and Cameron Hamilton. Just like Amber and Barnett, they’re also still married, and just like Amber and Barnett, they also still don’t have children even though they’ve been open about wanting to have kids in their future. Cameron recently shared a video on Instagram asking his followers not to ask the frequently asked question, which is, ‘When are you going to have a baby?’ It was a question that he’d get a from so many people. I assume it just became exhausting for him. He didn’t go into specific details, but he did say that none of us really know what a couple goes through behind closed doors, and therefore, we should all keep the questions and comments to ourselves. It was well said.

This brings me to Vanessa Lachey, one of the hosts of ‘Love Is Blind’. Her behavior on this season’s reunion episode was utterly disgusting and it was something that she should be fired for. She was biased in her questions to the contestants, as well as to the reactions to the contestants” answers, she was asking all the wrong questions, she was judgmental, and not only that, but she also pushed the married couples to answer what seemed to be the most important question of all time, at least for her, which was when would they all be having babies. She and her husband, Nick Lachey, who co-hosts the show with her, has three children. She pushed that specific question so much that it was just ignorant, ignorant, and plain rude. Just because you have three children, it doesn’t mean everyone else wants kids. Just because you have three children, it doesn’t mean they’re not trying for a child. And let’s be real here – some couples don’t want kids in the first place.

So what’s the point?

Family planning is not a joke.

Family planning is heartbreaking.

Family planning is time consuming.

Family planning is costly.

Family planning is physically painful.

Family planning is emotionally draining.

Family planning is private

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