Malec: How They Became The Most Powerful And Inspirational LGBTQ Love Story Ever Told On Television In Recent Years – And Why More Love Stories Such As This Need To Be Told

So you’re most likely confused by this particular blog entry and its subject matter. But here’s the thing: it’s Pride Month, and right now, I feel that it’s so important to have more of a discussion on LGBTQ related topics just as much as on women’s issues; no matter the gender. Writing about Santana Lopez’s journey of coming out and being her true authentic self on Glee reminded me of another character from the show; or more like, the man and the actor behind the character. I’m talking about Harry Shum Jr., who played Mike Chang on the show.

Shum played Magnus Bane on Shadowhunters, also known as Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments, a television series based on The Mortal Instruments book series written by Cassandra Clare. A movie adaptation was made in 2013 as well based on the first book in the series, but plans to make a sequel were cancelled due to the film’s poor performance. The film adaptation starred Lily Collins and Jamie Campbell Bower. Godfrey Gao played Magnus in the film. He sadly passed away in 2019 at the age of 35 due to a cardiac arrest while filming a sports reality television series, Chase Me.

Magnus was the love interest of Alec Lightwood. In the movie, he was played by Kevin Zegers. In the series, he was played by Matthew Daddario. I watched both the movie and the series, and though I found the series, which originally aired between 2016 and 2019, to be be more unbearable to watch the film, we’ll still be discussing the characters of Magnus and Alec from the series. Mostly, it’s because they were practically the only good thing about the series. In fact, the series was recognized for its positive LGBTQ portrayal by GLAAD Awards numerous times throughout its run. Their relationship between best known as Malec, became significant for several reasons. It challenged traditional views of gender roles and sexuality, showcasing a strong and loving relationship between two men. Moreover, their relationship provided a platform for exploring themes of prejudice and acceptance, as Magnus, a centuries-old warlock, navigated a world still grappling with Downworlder discrimination. To break it down more on a more precise scale:

• Challenging Norms: Malec’s relationship breaks down barriers by portraying a romantic connection between two men in a world where Shadowhunters are often portrayed as patriarchal and focused on conventional pairings. 
• Love and Sacrifice: Their love is evident through their unwavering support for each other, even in the face of dangerous situations and personal sacrifices. 
• Downworlder Prejudice: Magnus’s experiences as a warlock highlight the prejudice faced by Downworlders in Shadowhunter society, and Alec’s commitment to fighting for equality showcases his character growth and dedication to justice. 
• Family and Adoption: Malec eventually gets married and adopts two children together, Max and Rafael (not seen in the series), demonstrating their commitment to family and building a life together. 
• Leadership and Influence: Alec’s rise as Inquisitor and Magnus’s position as High Warlock demonstrate their leadership and influence within their respective communities, all while still maintaining a loving relationship despite their drastic differences. 
• Strong Foundation: Malec’s love for each other is a strong foundation for them to navigate the challenges and dangers of their world. 

Perhaps my all-time favourite Malec scene was from season 1, episode 12. It was when Magnus stopped Alec’s wedding to Lydia, and Malec FINALLY had their first kiss. It was a long time coming, and fans were just patiently waiting for Alec to stop holding back and just admit his true feelings for Magnus. Alec had proposed to Lydia, a fellow shadowhunter. But it wasn’t a marriage for love, but rather a marriage of convenience. He wasn’t in love with her. He wanted to do right by his family, and believed was the responsible thing to do. Lydia, though initially hesitant, knowing that Alec didn’t have feelings for her and instead was attracted to Magnus, accepted Alec’s proposal. 

Magnus was attracted to Alec from the moment he saw him from a distance. Alec, struggling with his Shadowhunter identity and the societal expectations surrounding relationships, especially considering his parabatai bond with Jace, his adoptive brother, tried to deny his reciprocated feelings for him. As he spent more time with Magnus and their connection deepened, Alec realized that he wasn’t actually in love with Jace. Nevertheless, he was still afraid of admitting to himself that he had genuine feelings for Magnus as that would mean disappointing his family and his role as a shadowhunter.

Izzy, Alec’s sister, was Malec’s biggest supporter and advocate. She desperately begged Alec to cancel his wedding to Lydia and admit his feelings to Magnus. She could tell that Alec wasn’t going through with it for the right reasons, Alec, being his stubborn self, insisted that it was. But Alec was also a 20-something year old man. He was young. He didn’t know what love was. Magnus, being 400+ years old and having experienced love before, explained to him as not being able to breathe and when the person you love walks into a room. And just as he was about to marry Lydia, Magnus walked in to the alter to fight for Alec’s love one last time, Alec, told Lydia he was unable to breathe, meaning he loved Magnus. It was revealed that Izzy was the one who invited Magnus to the wedding, but she didn’t think he’d show. He didn’t think he’d show either, but was inspired to after Ragnor lectured him about love and what it meant to fight for that love. Unable to deny his feelings any longer, Alec promptly left Lydia at the altar to kiss Magnus.

Everyone was ecstatic for Alec and Magnus, including Lydia herself, who encouraged Alec to follow his heart. But everyone was especially for Alec, for finally being able to express his true feelings for the person he loved. They all knew he had feelings for Magnus; not just Izzy. Izzy was just the most vocal about it. That’s everyone with the exception of Alec’s parents, Maryse and Robert, but especially Maryse. She didn’t hesitate to show her utter disappointment and disgust in Alec’s choice. She’d envisioned a life for Alec; one she chose for him to live by. The marriage was arranged by her and Robert as they believed the arranged marriage was necessary to restore the family’s honor after the Lightwoods have been shamed by unsanctioned missions at the Institute. They saw it as a way to secure a prestigious alliance for their family. That said, Maryse expected Alec to do as he was told to honor the family. She didn’t hesitate to tell him that he embarrassed her; not because Magnus was a guy, but because he was a warlock.

By season 3, Maryse became an entirely different person than she was in season 1. She supported Malec through thick and thin, embraced Alec’s love for Magnus, and even thanked Magnus for ‘loving my boy’. Magnus, to her, became part of the family. She went as far as giving Alec the family ring when he told her he wanted to propose to Magnus. But before he could get the chance to do so, Alec broke up with Magnus after a deal with his father, Asmodeus, to restore his magic and immortality. Alec made this decision because Asmodeus’s conditions required him to break up with Magnus and couldn’t tell him the reason. This was a particularly significant event in their relationship, as it lead to a temporary separation and emotional turmoil for both of them. Magnus was so heartbroken by the sudden breakup that he contemplated on erasing all of his memories of Alec.

It was Maryse who eventually got Magnus to realize exactly why Alec broke his heart; so that he could be ‘whole again’. His father knew he loved Alec with his whole heart, and he wanted to break in order to manipulate him. Asmodeus used Alec’s insecurities about the relationship and his past to manipulate him into breaking up with Magnus. After the breakup, Asmodeus restored Magnus’ magic and immortality, as promised.

Magnus took the Lightwood family ring from Maryse to propose to Alec himself. He did so when he went to help Alec and the rest of the shadowhunters protect the Shadow World. He proposed to Alec in the midst of the demons from Edon taking over, and then made another ring himself. Alec happily accepted the proposal, and the two exchanged rings. Magnus then sacrificed himself by trapping himself at Edom, effective immediately. It wasn’t known if he’d ever get himself out. Edom was a dimension where the Shadow World’s history was different; a realm of demons. A rift in Edom threatened the Shadow World, and Magnus agreed to go there to seal it and become its ruler to save everyone else, potentially never seeing Alec ever again.

While others made peace with Magnus’ sacrifice, Alec couldn’t bear the mere thought of the possibility of never seeing him again. With the help of Lorenzo, Alec, along with Clary, Jace, Simon, Melilorn, get in to Edom to save Magnus. Alec was willing to stay in Edom to be with Magnus forever. Edom, the realm initially ruled by Magnus’s father, was destroyed as a consequence of Lilith’s death, a pivotal event in the series finale. The destruction of Edom also lead to the sealing of the rift that had connected Edom to the Shadow World, effectively preventing the return of demons and other beings from Edom to the Shadow World. The team played crucial roles in the destruction of Edom, working together to defeat the forces that had trapped them within the realm.  With Edom destroyed and the rift sealed, Magnus, Alec, and the others were able to return to their world, finally escaping the dangers of Edom. 

In the series finale, Magnus and Alec finally got married. The wedding took place at the Institute, where Magnus, a warlock, and Alec, a Shadowhunter, exchanged vows, marking a significant moment for their relationship and for the Clave’s acceptance of their union. The wedding was a culmination of their love story and the challenges they faced in a world where their relationship wasn’t always understood. Alec walked down the aisle with Robert, his father. Magnus walked down the aisle with Maryse, who previously was disgusted by him and had her sights set on destroying the love that Magnus and Alec shared; who told Alec that life wasn’t about what he wanted to do, but what must be done. At Alec’s first marriage to Lydia, Maryse, enraged, demanded Magnus to leave the wedding. And here she was, at his second wedding, embracing her son’s new husband and walk him down the aisle.

The wedding between Magnus and Alec, in itself, marked to be a celebration of love and commitment, as well as a victory for the idea of equality between Shadowhunters and Downworlders. It took place at the Institute, forcing the Clave to acknowledge and honor the union between a Shadowhunter and a Downworlder. According to a Tumblr post, Magnus and Alec’s marriage symbolized a step forward for relationships between Downworlders and Shadowhunters, demonstrating the potential for a future where such unions are accepted and celebrated.a

Now, I know skipped a whole chunk of their relationship timeline when describing Malec’s journey to becoming one. It’s mostly because I was describing the drastic character development seen in Maryse. Maryse’s initial disapproval stemmed from a lack of trust in Magnus and a belief that Alec would be better off with a Shadowhunter partner, potentially a woman. This, as well as her expectations on Alec, placed a strain on Alec’s relationship with Magnus, forcing Alec to make a difficult decision between his family’s expectations and his love for Magnus.

This went to show what a real difference it makes when a parent accepts and respects their adult child’s decisions and life’s choices, and is there for them no matter what – unconditionally. But it also showed that a relationship can go on without a parent’s approval. It did for Alec and Magnus, as Alec still chose to be with Magnus despite his parents’ vocal disapproval of the relationship, and they had a loving relationship at that; one filled with passion, understanding, healthy boundaries, and unconditional acceptance of one another without trying to change the other; one that was based on a deeper connection that anyone could ever explain but the two of them.

Some labeled the relationship between Magnus and Alec to be the best and healthiest GAY relationship ever portrayed on TV. But I beg to differ. I believe they were the perfect portrayal of a healthy relationship…period. There’s absolutely no need to label them as a gay couple. A gay couple is just the same as any heterosexual couple. The ways in which romantic relationships are formed are similar regardless of sexual orientation. These relationships have their complexities, of course. They go through prejudice, but it’s only because of how the outside world views them; not because they’re any different. In Malec’s case, the prejudice came from Alec’s own parents, particularly his mother, and that’s the toughest prejudice to have to face. I know because I’ve witnessed such prejudice myself. Not because of a same-sex relationship, but an interabled one; one that my husband and I are labeled to be such, though I wouldn’t consider us to be labeled as anything but two people who f*cking love each other. That prejudice was at the hands of my father-in-law. I personally never cared what he thought of me and what assumptions he ever made about me based on me having cerebral palsy. It was none of my business. What was my business was how that prejudice affected my husband and our relationship. He was so prejudice that he once told my husband that having a relationship with a cousin was less problematic than a cripple like me. He did some shady things throughout our relationship to try to break us up, like get him to go on a date with a version of a woman that was good enough for him…after we’d already gotten engaged. My husband made his choice very clear. Unlike Maryse, my father-in-law never had a character development, and my husband refuses to have any relationship with him.

I keep emphasizing in this blog entry that gay/lesbian relationships are just the same as heterosexual relationships. While that’s true, and research suggests that they can share many similarities, including in terms of relationship satisfaction, commitment, and stability, some studies also point to differences, particularly in areas like equality and communication, with same-sex couples often exhibiting more egalitarian dynamics and better communication. To break things down more thoroughly:

Similarities: 

• Relationship Satisfaction and Commitment: Research indicates that both same-sex and heterosexual couples can experience similar levels of relationship satisfaction and commitment according to the American Psychological Association (APA). 
• Relationship Dynamics: Studies suggest that the factors influencing relationship satisfaction, commitment, and stability are remarkably similar for both same-sex cohabiting couples and heterosexual married couples. 
• Relationship Formation: The ways in which romantic relationships are formed are similar regardless of sexual orientation. 

Differences: 

• Equality and Gender Roles: Same-sex couples tend to emphasize equality in their relationships more than heterosexual couples. This can lead to less power struggles, less anger and aggression, and more humor in the relationship. 
• Communication: Studies suggest that same-sex couples often communicate better than heterosexual couples. 
• Emotional Tactics: Research indicates that same-sex couples use fewer controlling and hostile emotional tactics than heterosexual couples. 
• Financial Power: In heterosexual relationships, men tend to have more economic power and control over money, while women have less say in financial decision-making. This is less prevalent in same-sex relationships. 

There’s so much that could be said about Malec. Let’s just forget that Alec is 20-something years old and Magnus is 400+. Let’s also forget that Alec is a shadowhunter and Magnus is an immortal warlock. Let’s just pretend they’re regular people who lead regular lives; ones who hold regular jobs; ones who are mortal and live to 120. Malec demonstrated a couple weeks ALL want to strive to be like – straight, gay, whatever.

The first season of Shadowhunters divulged into Alec’s struggle with his sexuality. He developed feelings for Magnus right from the moment they met. Magnus did even before that – when he saw him from a distance. He knew he wanted to be with Alec, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. He was very direct with his advances. Alec wanted to be with him too. But unlike Magnus, he was terrified of the consequences of what his feelings might do to his reputation. He felt under a lot of pressure from his parents, and only wanted to make them proud. He felt it was his duty and responsibility to his family and the institution to do as he was expected to, whether he wanted it or not. He feared to explore his feeling for Magnus, and couldn’t fathom the potential repercussions within Shadowhunter society. Magnus encouraged Alec to live for himself; not for his family. Izzy did too. Everyone else did as well, but Izzy was the most vocal about it.

Despite everyone’s encouragement for him to be honest with himself, Alec did everything to deny who he was and his true feelings for Magnus. He lived in a world where being different was frowned upon, and he was petrified of the circumstances of him admitting his feelings to Magnus. He wasn’t willing to admit to himself that he might actually have feelings for someone like Magnus, and he wasn’t willing to risk everything to explore those feelings either. Magnus, though he knew exactly he was, and even though he was much more open about it, was also afraid to express his feelings for Alec. He hadn’t opened his heart to someone else in a century before Alec. In the first season, Alec kept insisting that, unlike him, Magnus wouldn’t risk anything by being with him. But he did, as he was opening his heart to someone else in a very, very long time, which can be a scary thing to do in itself.

Alec’s proposal to Lydia was a strategic move, driven by the desire to restore his family’s reputation and the Lightwood name, which had been damaged by various events, including his mother’s absence and his own struggles. The marriage meant Alec would be running the Institute, which would benefit his family and offer a safer environment. In a way, however, the marriage was also a way for him to avoid his feelings for Magnus. The wedding itself was a turning point for Alec. As he stood there, about to marry Lydia, seeing Magnus at the alter, waiting for him, he realized he couldn’t continue lying to himself anymore. It was at that moment that Alec realizes that his feelings for Magnus were genuine and that he couldn’t suppress them any longer. Lydia, knowing the wedding wasn’t genuine and the marriage would be loveless, encouraged him to do what was right for him, Him kissing Magnus and coming out so publicly was the moment where he could finally be himself; his true, genuine self. That was the moment where he finally expressed his feelings to the person he genuinely wanted to be with.

In season 2, we saw Malec’s initial struggle in their new relationship. They’d experienced some friction and moments of challenges. It was Alec’s first-ever relationship. He didn’t know how to express himself fully. Magnus had a fear of commitment and loss. But they also had moments of joy and intimacy. Magnus, knowing it was his inexperience that led to his lack of understanding and was what made him so vulnerable and , was very patient with Alec. He allowed him to take the lead on how the relationship progressed. He never pushed Alec to do anything he didn’t want to do, and that included the first time they had sex. In fact, it was Magnus who hesitated when Alec initiated. His relationship with Alec marked to be more significant than any other relationship he had in the past, as Alec was the first-ever person he opened up to about his past; particularly about his parents. The biggest turning point in their relationship was when Alec declared his love for Magnus for the first time after Magnus was put in danger and he didn’t know if Magnus was dead or alive.

Trust was everything to Magnus. He trusted Alec with everything he had as he poured his heart and soul to him when he told him of his past; something he’d never shared with anyone before. His heart was absolutely shattered when he felt like the trust he had for Alec was broken. Though he did forgive Alec when he apologized, he still felt he couldn’t be in a relationship with him as he felt that he couldn’t look at him in the same way as he used to. The separation was temporary. After spending time apart, both realized they couldn’t live without each other. They finally fully and wholeheartedly expressed their feelings for each other and got back together.

In season 3, Magnus and Alec were in a domesticated relationship. Though their love and appreciation for one another was obvious, the couple faced several hurdles, which included Magnus’s internal turmoil and his father’s influence. He was in pain. He was suffering, and he wasn’t using the right methods to cope with his struggles. He eventually was forced to battle his own demons (almost no pun intended) face to face and face them head on, and it was only then that he could fully could be with Alec. When he found out Alec was going to propose to him the night he had his mental breakdown, he took matters to his own hands and proposed to Alec himself. Alec experienced growth too between season 1 and 3. He went from being afraid to express his feelings for Magnus to being willing to lose everything he’d ever worked and put his entire life for to achieve for Magnus. And in the end, they married. The entire world around them was against them, but they always found their way back to each other, and everyone that SHOULD’VE been against them was there at the wedding – happily showing their support.

Magnus and Alec’s love story is beautiful. It’s one that was needed to be told. Their relationship is a celebratory one; a same-sex couple on television, representing a significant step in representation and openly exploring themes of love, acceptance, and self-discovery within a fantasy world. Their journey showcases the complexities of human relationships, including overcoming adversity and finding love in unexpected places. To be elaborate on the matter:

• Representation and Acceptance: Malec’s relationship is notable for being a celebrated same-sex pairing on television, demonstrating progress in representing LGBTQ+ individuals and relationships in a mainstream context. 
• Individual Growth: Alec’s journey involves coming out and accepting his true feelings, while Magnus helps Alec with his journey of self-discovery and acceptance. 
• Emotional Depth: The relationship explores themes of love, loyalty, empathy, and honesty, showcasing a complex and evolving dynamic. 
• Overcoming Challenges: The couple faces numerous obstacles, including the challenges of their respective worlds, showcasing their resilience and commitment to one another. 
• Positive Impact: Malec’s relationship has resonated with viewers, inspiring conversations about love, acceptance, and representation. 

Following the airing of the episode where Malec first kissed, Shadowhunters executive producer Michael Reisz said of the pairing to Paste, ‘Cassie created special characters, and I remember telling her in our first meeting that this relationship was absolutely important to me—for very, very personal reasons. And you know, we all write stuff we pull from our personal lives, and I very personally responded to Magnus and Alec and all of the journeys they went through. Their story moves me just as much as it moves all the fans. So when Alec says “Enough” to Maryse as he’s walking up to Magnus, for me as the writer—because I can only speak for myself—that was Alec saying “Enough” to the world. ‘I’m claiming this, I’m going to explore this, I’m going to live authentically and I’m going to become the person I’m going to become.’ He also said, ‘I think a lot of the time when people object to the choices others are making, it’s out of a lack of understanding and a true sense of fear for that person, because you love and care about them. So once the person that you care about says, ‘This is right for me, this is the person that I am, I know what I’m doing and I’m going to choose this,’ the people who love them will rally around them. You may think that you lose everybody if you make a certain choice, but if you’re living honestly, authentically, and ethically—and truthfully—the people that love you will always still be there. That’s what I wanted to show with Alec’s family and friends. They worried about him, they cared about him, but in the end they’re gonna stand by him because they are a family and they stick together.’

This really got to me. My son is only two years old, but I’m already starting to have these conversations with him about love, acceptance and representation. I feel that it’s important for two very important reasons. I want to show him that if he’s a part of the LGBTQ+ part community, he’ll always be loved and accepted by us, his parents. The world might not be kind to him, but he’ll always be safe at home. I want him to be able to come home and feel valued. I want him to feel validated. I never want him to feel like he needs to be someone else just to please me or his dad. I never want him to feel the way my husband felt at the hands of his own father. I never want to have the same relationship my husband ever had with his father with my own son. I want him to feel like he can talk to me; open up to me. And if he’s not part of the LGBTQ+ community, then I’m explaining to him that it’s okay for others to be different than him; that people who are different shouldn’t be treated any differently; that other people’s differences should be celebrated. I’ve always done shown and explained to him exactly that when it comes to difference that come with people with disabilities – through showing him me and explaining to him that concept of my disability and disability as a whole. And luckily, I have Malec’s love story to showcase exactly this when it comes to the celebration and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t want my son to be part of the problem. I want him to be part of the solution. That’s why more stories like Malec’s NEED to be told – to show a positive representation of the LGBTQ+ community. And so, end this blog entry on a positive note, I’d like to include some Malec-inspired quotes:

• “Love is a powerful thing, Magnus. It can make you do things you never thought you could do.” This quote reflects Alec’s realization of the power of his love for Magnus and his willingness to fight for their relationship. 
• “You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.” This quote, while not directly about Malec, is a powerful reminder of their journey to self-acceptance and the importance of believing in one’s own worth, even when facing external challenges. 
• “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one be without a moment of sunshine.” This quote, again not specifically Malec, embodies their shared belief in the importance of kindness and compassion, qualities that are often highlighted in Malec’s relationship. 
• “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with the hand-break on.” This quote, while general, resonates with Alec’s initial struggles with self-doubt and his eventual growth through his relationship with Magnus. 
• “If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” This quote, also general, highlights the importance of self-love and acceptance, which is a significant theme in Malec’s journey. 

The end