Ellen DeGeneres: How She Paved The Way For A More Positive Representation Of The LGBTQIA+ Community In Media – And What Oprah And Laura Dern Had To Do With It

Remember when Lindsay Lohan was given a second chance at a redemption arc by none other than Oprah herself? It was the year 2013. Oprah offered Lohan a platform to rebuild her career after rehab. This included an exclusive interview and an eight-part docu-series on Winfrey’s network, OWN,with a reported $2 million compensation package. The series, titled Lindsay, aimed to document Lohan’s journey back to the public eye. The docu-series aimed to showcase Lohan’s efforts to revive her career and stay sober. Oprah’s support was seen as a chance for Lohan to redeem herself in the public eye and gain mentorship. The partnership was seen as a way for Oprah to guide Lohan towards a healthier path, and it highlighted the complexities of addiction and recovery. 

I watched the docu-series, and I was personally questioning why it was made to begin with the entire time I watched it. It evident that it was too soon for Lohan to be in the public eye. It didn’t provide any real insight to her sobriety; only elevated why she was so problematic. She was still not showing up to scheduled work commitments. She was still rude to her employees. She was still failing to take responsibility for her actions; or lack of. The entire series was chaotic; much like Lohan’s life at the time. And yet, it was boring, because it was predictable. It was a missed opportunity. Instead of her supporting her recovery, the show only exploited her issues further.

Oprah was seen supporting Lohan’s journey in the docu-series. She was a mentor to Lohan; represented as the one person she truly trusted and took advice from. While I don’t doubt that Oprah cared for Lohan’s well-being, I also remembered that Oprah was an actress too – an Oscar-nominated actress. That said, were we supposed to believe that Oprah’s appearance on Lindsay where she called her out on her BS wasn’t entirely scripted? Nevertheless, Oprah had never shied away from showing her public support to the ones she loves. One of those people is Ellen DeGeneres.

But before we begin speaking about the friendship between Oprah and DeGeneres, I’d like to put light on another part of DeGeneres’ life, which articulates to my previous blog entry’s subject matter – sexual trauma at the hands of someone close to you. Like Rachel, Lohan’s character in Georgia Rule, DeGeneres faced sexual trauma at the hands of her stepfather when she was a teenager. She told David Letterman on My Next Guest Needs No Introduction, ‘He told me… he’d felt a lump in her breast and needed to feel my breasts. I didn’t know about bodies. I don’t know that breasts are all different. Anyway, he convinced me that he needs to feel my breasts and then he tries to do it again another time, and then another time he tries to break my door down and I kicked the window out and ran ’cause I knew it was going to go more to something. should never have protected her (DeGeneres’ mom). I should’ve protected myself, and I didn’t tell her for a few years and then I told her, and then she didn’t believe me and then she stayed with him for 18 more years.’

DeGeneres’ mother did eventually leave him after he’d changed his story multiple times. Following DeGeneres’ revelation to Letterman, her mom, Betty made a statement apologizing to her daughter. She said, ‘I know now that one of the hardest things to do is to speak up after being sexually abused. I love my daughter, and I wish I had the capacity to listen to her when she told me what happened. I live with that regret, and I wouldn’t want that for any other parent. If someone in your life has the courage to speak out, please believe them.’

Though it took Betty much time to support Ellen her sexual trauma, it didn’t take long for her to support Ellen through her sexuality. In fact, she became a vocal supporter of the LGBTQ+ community, particularly after Ellen’s highly publicized coming out in 1997. She became an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and an active member of organizations like PFLAG. Ellen’s father, Elliot DeGeneres, also supported her through her coming out, though he’d initially struggled with it, even asking her to leave his home. However, he later acknowledged his mistake and expressed his unwavering love for his daughter. Betty’s public advocacy included speaking engagements, media appearances, and authoring a book about her experiences and her daughter’s journey. And while Ellen’s family ultimately supported her, there were initial challenges. Betty recalls feeling uncomfortable when a friend made prejudiced remarks about gays, and she felt constrained by the need to keep Ellen’s secret. 

Ellen got her start in the entertainment industry in the 80’s when she took standup comedy by storm. By the 90’s, she had her own television sitcom, simply titled Ellen. Her character, Ellen Morgan, was initially straight. But in the 1997 episode titled ‘The Puppy Episode’, she (bravely) came out as gay, as did Ellen DeGeneres in real-life. It was a landmark moment as it was the first time a lead character on a prime-time network show was depicted as gay. Ellen DeGeneres also publicly came out as gay in real life at the same time, appearing on the cover of Time magazine with the headline “Yep, I’m Gay”. 

Ellen continued on for another season following that fateful coming out episode, and it saw the reel-life Ellen in a loving relationship with a woman. The two-part episode and its storyline mirrored DeGeneres’s own real-life experience, making it a significant event in television history and for LGBTQ+ representation. The episode was highly anticipated and generated a lot of media attention, with many celebrities and the public praising the move as groundbreaking. It marked to be a pivotal moment in the fight for LGBTQ+ visibility and acceptance in mainstream media. It paved the way for future representation of LGBTQ+ characters and stories on television, such as Will & Grace and Modern Family. In interviews and reflections, DeGeneres has spoken about the courage it took to make the decision and the impact it had on her life, as well as the lives of others.

During her interview with Oprah for her O cover story, Oprah asked her about her coming out story. When Oprah asked, ‘Would you say that coming out was the seminal moment in your life?’, DeGeneres said, ‘Oh yeah, because it stripped everything away. The whole world was talking about me. You know, if you’re going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wanting people to talk about you and wanting everyone to know who you are. But that also means there are going to be a whole bunch of people who don’t like you. No matter who you are. I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.’ Oprah then asked, ‘Refresh my memory: At what point did you make the decision to come out? You were three years into your sitcom?’ DeGeneres answered, ‘I was four years in, because the fifth year is when they canceled me. I think I’ve told you about a dream I had. I was struggling with the idea of coming out—what it would do to my career and to me—and in this dream, I was holding a tiny finch in the palm of my hand. I could feel how much I loved this bird and that it was safe in my hand, and I was reaching in to put it back in its cage—one of these thin, bamboo, beautiful, multitiered cages—and as I was putting the bird back in, I realized that the cage was against a window and the bird could fly out. The bird realized it at the same time I did, and I became the bird. And the bird looked at me and wanted to fly out, but I looked at the bird and said, “But you’re safe in here in a beautiful cage. Don’t leave.” And the bird just looked at me and flew out the window.’

DeGeneres then revealed that people around her told her to shut up at the time. She said, ‘So I was like, “Okay, I know what that means.” Until then I’d had no idea I was in a cage. I was in this beautiful setting, and I was making money and had everyone taking care of me. There were lots of different veils and lots of different layers—but just to say the words was so huge for me. You know, people say, “Why do you have to tell everybody, who cares, and why do you have to announce it?” It’s because it’s your truth and the truth shall set you free. But then it turned into everybody telling me to shut up. I was on your show and I was on the cover of Time, and there was article after article, and then articles reporting on articles, and it became this storm. I was getting attacked for talking about it so much, and I was like, “ I am not talking about it, youare.” And then everybody was hating me and “Oh, shut up already,” and that’s when the show went down in flames. I actually think the show got better after I came out. The season that no one watched…’ Oprah continued, ‘…turned out to be the best season. I remember. But it’s so important to say that out loud so people can also see for themselves how the things that broke you open actually allowed you to be set free.’

We now live in a world where society is more accepting of the LGBTQIA+ community. We live in a world where being part of the community is actually being celebrated. We’re seeing more and more LGBTQIA+ relationships being represented in media. Even more so, we’re seeing more and more straight actors playing gay characters. Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson played Willow and Tara respectively on Buffy The Vampire Slayer in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, with both actresses being straight. Eric McCormack, a straight man who’s been married to Janet Holden since 1997, played Will, a gay man, in Will & Grace. Eric Stonestreet, a straight man who’s been married to Lindsay Schweitzer since 2016, played Cameron, a gay man, in Modern Family. And the two actors behind Malec, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood, from Shadowhunters, Harry Shum Jr. and Matthew Daddario, are both straight. Shum Jr. has been married to Shelby Rabara since 2015. Daddario has been married to Esther Kim since 2017. In contrast, Shum Jr.’s Glee co-star, Jonathan Groff is a gay man who’s played straight roles. He played Jesse St. James on the show, Rachel’s, played by Lea Michele, love interest and eventual husband. He was criticized, and very much so, at the time. In 2010, a reporter wrote an entire piece on how gay actors couldn’t play straight roles. Geoff was on the list. Geoff didn’t let that stop him. In the years since, he’s played a variety of different roles, both gay and straight.

DeGeneres has since retired, but throughout her 40+ year career, she’d paved the way for so many, particularly female comedians and the LGBTQIA+ community. She made it OKAY for people who were deemed to be unworthy and not normal to be seen; to be heard. Even more so, she significantly impacted the LGBTQIA+ community by publicly coming out and using her platform to advocate for acceptance and equality. Her 1997 coming out, both personally and through her TV character, was a landmark moment that challenged societal norms and paved the way for greater visibility and acceptance of LGBTQIA+ individuals. To break things down more thoroughly, here’s how she’s made a difference in the community:

• Breaking Barriers: Ellen’s decision to come out publicly, both in her personal life and as the lead character on her sitcom Ellen, was a groundbreaking moment for LGBTQIA+ representation in mainstream media. 
  
• Advocating for Equality: She has consistently used her platform to speak out against discrimination and promote LGBTQIA+ rights, including marriage equality and protection from hate crimes. 
  
• Raising Awareness: Through her talk show, she has highlighted stories of LGBTQIA+ individuals, including those who have faced challenges due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. 
  
• Inspiring Others: Her openness and activism have inspired countless LGBTQ+ individuals to feel more comfortable and confident in their own identities. 
  
• Challenging Stereotypes: She has challenged negative stereotypes and misconceptions about LGBTQ+ people, promoting understanding and acceptance within society. 
  
• Supporting LGBTQ+ Organizations: Ellen has donated to and partnered with LGBTQ+ organizations, further supporting their work in the community. 

Before officially retiring from the entertainment industry in 2024 and moving to Australia with her wife, Portia De Rossi, whom she married in 2008, DeGeneres has faced controversy for the way she treated her employees and creating a toxic work environment on her talk show, which ran between 2003 and 2022. More specifically, the controversy surrounding DeGeneres revolved around allegations of a toxic work environment on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Reports detailed claims of racism, intimidation, and sexual misconduct from top producers, contradicting the show’s “be kind” mantra. DeGeneres addressed the allegations on air, apologizing for the inappropriate behavior that occurred on the show, but also stated she was unaware of the extent of the issues. These allegations led to an internal investigation by WarnerMedia, the show’s parent company, and ultimately contributed to the show’s cancellation after 19 seasons. 

DeGeneres said goodbye to the public eye with her very-last standup special, For Your Approval, available now on Netflix. I watched it, and I have to say, it was disappointing. It seemed as though she learned nothing from the experience of being called out for her wrongdoings. At the very end of her set, the comedian said, ‘I’m honest, I’m generous, I’m sensitive and I’m thoughtful. I’m tough, I’m impatient and I’m demanding. I’m direct. I’m a strong woman.’

In hindsight, the criticism DeGeneres faced in the 2020’s could be compared to the one she faced in the 90’s; except the one that she faced in the 90’s was fuelled by undeniable prejudice and based on what she couldn’t control. You can’t just choose who you love; you just do. How one treats others IS, in fact, a choice. This time around, DeGeneres had nothing to lose, so it just didn’t seem like she cared – mostly because there was no consequences to it, because she was leaving the limelight anyways. During her set, DeGeneres joked that she was kicked out of show business. That’s simply not the case. The world would’ve been so happy to still see her on stage and onscreen had it not been for all the allegations that came to light about her. I know I would’ve loved to continue seeing her on my screen. Watching her got me through my depression. Her energetic nature got me to smile and laugh again during my darkest, most torturous moments. It’s a real shame that she left the limelight without taking much accountability.

No matter what anyone think of DeGeneres these days, one thing remains absolutely true: she’s an LGBTQIA+ icon. Her coming out in the 90’s was a courageous act. She was warned that it’d ruin her career, and she didn’t care. And it did ruin her career. She didn’t work thereafter for three years. ‘The Puppet Episode’, which also featured guest appearances from Oprah, Laura Dern, Demi Moore, Billy Bob Thorton, and Melissa Ethridge, was watched by 42 million people. In the episode, Ellen nervously tells Laura Dern’s Susan, ‘This is so hard, but I think, I, I, I’ve realized… that I am… I can’t even say the word. Why I can’t say the word? I mean, why can’t I just say… I mean, what is wrong? Why, why do I have to be so ashamed? I mean, why can’t I just… say the truth, I mean, be who I am. I’m 35 years old, I’m so afraid to tell people, I mean, I just… Susan, I’m gay.’

In 2017, Mark Driscoll, the former executive producer of Ellen, opened up about DeGeneres’ vision for that special episode, which ended up winning an Emmy and earned DeGeneres a Peabody Award. He said, ‘She invited us all to her house and she made the announcement. She said, ‘I want to come out. I’m going to do it personally, and I’m going to do it on the show at the end of the season, and we’re going to write to that and build toward that.’ So we were all thrilled. It just gave us direction for the whole season. thought, ‘Is that such a big deal? Don’t people know that you’re gay?’ But there was no social media then, there was no internet like we have it now, so I guess the inner circle knew but people in Des Moines didn’t have any idea. It was a huge deal. She’s a very private person, and I think she was probably going through a lot more scary stuff than she was letting on to us. So with us, it was always about how the show’s going and how it’s perceived and is it sharp enough, but I can’t imagine the phone calls and letters that she was getting. Because we weren’t talking about that with her in the room. And I saw recently that old clip of an Oprah’s show where people are just yelling at [Ellen], ‘They don’t have to shove that in our face!’ You could see their veins popping out; it looked like those people lined up during the Civil Rights Movement where the African-Americans are trying to go into a school and these people are just red in the face screaming [at them] and it was absolutely that big and horrible. I had three kids at the time — my youngest, Ian, was a toddler — cut to 17 years later and he came out in high school, and it was just wonderful and easy, and you have to think that that episode helped somehow to pave the way for so many kids to do that.’

At the very beginning of this blog entry, I started by talking about Oprah giving Lindsay Lohan a second chance in redemption in showing the world that she was more than capable of being a professional through her sobriety journey. Oprah’s attempt failed, and I questioned Oprah’s authenticity in her trying to help Lohan at the time. It was, after all, a business deal for her. Oprah’s support for DeGeneres in the past 3 decades since the coming out episode was NEVER a cause for concern in its authenticity and realness.

Oprah appeared as a guest on Ellen’s ‘The Puppet Episode’. She starred as the fictional Ellen’s therapist. She later interviewed DeGeneres for her daytime talk show, The Oprah Winfrey Show. Back then, it was a controversial move, and she herself was scrutinized for her decision to support DeGeneres and be the voice for gay rights. In recent years, a clip went viral of Oprah being questioned for that decision, and Oprah standing her ground. It went something like this:

Audience Member #1: I think that it’s great that someone like Oprah, who is successful, has to pave the way for acceptance in the community. I mean, if this is what we have to do to break down barriers, then let’s do it.

Oprah: What do you think?

Audience Member #2: I’ve seen it in the Bible, it clearly states that homosexuality is wrong, and I feel that you are a powerful woman, and you have done so much, and if you are going to represent yourself as a Christian and then you’re gonna go on the show and say that you also support that, it’s a double [standard].

Oprah: Well, I have a different view of Christian than you do, okay. The God I serve doesn’t care whether you’re tall or short or whether you were born Black or Asian or gay. So that’s just a difference of belief and I don’t expect to change your belief today, because just before I came down here—I’m late today ’cause I was in the makeup room arguing with somebody who was telling me how all gay people are going to hell, and now I’m going to hell with all the other gay people for doing the show.

Oprah: I take full responsibility for my going to hell or heaven. I take full responsibility, and I feel that everybody who’s concerned about me now going to hell ’cause I’m doing Ellen Degeneres show, I think that you all should take that energy and try to create a little heaven here on earth for everybody. And I take full responsibility for it, I take full responsibility for it. See, I believe God created Ellen. I believe God did that. Ellen says she’s gay. I believe God created her gay. I believe God did that.

Audience Member #2: You can’t stand up there on that show and in front of this whole American society and say that you support that.

Oprah: I support her right to be who she thinks she is.

This was an absolutely amazing, beautiful response to such a disregarding comment. Oprah herself received an enormous amount of backlash for having appeared on the show. Following her appearance, she’d received volatile comments from fans and critics alike, with people telling her to go back to Africa and calling her the N-word. When DeGeneres asked her to be a part of the show, Oprah didn’t even think twice and said yes immediately. She was shocked by the backlash as she just assumed everyone would be just as accepting. And it was the same with Laura Dern. She, too, didn’t think twice when DeGeneres asked her to be a part of the show. In fact, she had numerous people try to talk her out of appearing as a guest on the sitcom. She ended up not being able to find work for an entire year JUST for that decision.

When people think of Ellen, they think of ‘The Puppet Episode’. The fact that Maggie Wheeler, who famously played Janice on Friends, starred in the series in the first season, has become somewhat of a forgotten tale. I previously watched the show to its entirety. Of course ‘The Puppet Episode’ was the most memorable one of them all. But I personally loved seeing what came thereafter in season 5, which was Ellen meeting Laurie, played by Lisa Darr Grabemann, who is straight in real life, and starting a relationship with her. This marked the first gay relationship ever displayed on national television. Of her role, Darr Grabemann told LA Times in 1997, ‘Playing characters like this is a nonissue for me, and I didn’t really think about it at all. These are two women that just happen to be gay. Their sexuality is not the focus of who they are. I’m really proud to be able to bring this to the forefront. It’s a part of life, and should be accepted as such. I have more chemistry with Ellen than with a lot of guys I’ve played opposite.’

The episodes in which Laurie was featured were my absolute favourite. And yet, at the time, ABC placed a ‘parental discretion’ advisory before airing of the episodes. DeGeneres had expressed anger with the network, saying the show didn’t warrant such warnings, and that they were being applied unfairly to her show as opposed to sitcoms with heterosexual leads. Darr Grabemann supported DeGeneres in her anger. She said, ‘It’s horrible to put a warning on this show. It’s an issue of consistency. On Dharma & Greg, Dharma says ‘penis.’ Why is that OK but a two-second kiss between two women is something kids shouldn’t watch?’

It’s been 28 years since ‘The Puppet Episode’ first aired, and we’ve come a VERY long way since then. It’s crazy to think, at least to me, that one’s sexuality was something that had to be hidden. Like Ellen said years ago on her daytime talk show, she’s a female comedian who just so happens to be gay. In fact, most people who like to have sex with people of the same gender don’t identify themselves based solely on that fact. Society does; just as society labels anyone else who’s part of the minority group, less privileged group, including those who are disabled. I myself am a woman who happens to be disabled; who happens to love women just as much as she loves men. But what the f*ck does it even matter? It shouldn’t, but society made it so that it does. I hope that we eventually get to the point where it doesn’t. I’m raising my son now to believe that NONE of it should be of issue whatsoever. So to end this post on a more positive note, I’d like to include just a few inspirational Ellen DeGeneres quotes:

• It’s our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique.
  
• True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.
  
• While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I’d say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.
  
• We’re all supposed to be different. I want so badly to encourage everyone to say, “Who am I and how do I want to live my life?”
  
• I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.
  
• Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.
  
• I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.
  
• I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.
  
• Don’t worry about what people say about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.
  
• Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
  
• I don’t know what people are scared of. Maybe they think their children will be influenced, but I’ve got to tell you, I was raised by two heterosexuals. Everywhere I looked — heterosexuals. And they did not influence me. It’s time we love people for who they are and let them love who they want.

The end…