Ginny & Georgia: The Compelling Realities Of Parenthood As Seen Through Georgia And Ellen – And The Agony Of Knowing Your Child Is Suffering Because Of Something That’s Out Of Your Control

The subject of other people giving parents unsolicited advice was somewhat of a heavy subject in the previous blog entry. More particularly, my husband’s stepmother calling me and my husband bad parents was of a dubious matter of discussion. It was truly uncalled for, but she doesn’t think so. She doesn’t think she did anything by saying those words, as well as other words. That’s why, along with other reasons, she’s no longer entitled to have anything to do with me or my son unless she actually takes responsibility and admits to her wrongdoing, which I highly doubt she’ll actually do.

Writing about that particular incident that happened to me greatly reminded me of a September 2024 interview that Demi Moore did on The Jennifer Hudson Show. When asked if she gave her daughter Rumer, who’s a mother to daughter Louetta, any parenting advice, Moore said, ‘You know what I have learned? Is that you do not give advice unless you are asked, in general. First of all, she is a wonderful mother and I am so proud of her. She is really incredible. And if I am asked, I am happy to share my experience, strength and hope. But if I am not, it is better that I just keep my mouth shut. As a parent, you have to give your children, I think, the dignity of their own process. Sometimes they need to find their own way, even if I’m right, and often I am… but it doesn’t make her wrong.’

Moore continued while talking about stepping back as a parent and allowing her daughters that she shares with former actor Bruce Willis, Rumer, Scout, and Talulla, who has autism, and allowing them to live their own lives. She said, ‘For me I feel like my job is just to love my children and to give them the room to be who they are. Rescuing our children, which is our intuitive instinct, isn’t always the best thing. You have to give them the room.’ As I listened to her words, all I could do was think to myself, ‘Can Demi Moore be one of my in-laws?’ Like…for real. I saw her in person once when I had lunch at a coffee shop in Los Angeles. She was seated at a table next to me with her one of daughters. She was lovely. I was too starstruck to even speak to her. But we made eye contact. But to go back to my original point, the biggest issue I have with my in-laws is that they’re noisy. Both in my relationship with my husband and our parenting our son. Had they been like Moore our relationship would’ve looked much different than it does now. The last time my father-in-law and I ever interacted, I shamelessly judged his parenting of his son and told him he treated us with utmost, utter disrespect, to which he said, ‘I’ll see how you parent your son when he becomes older and you were in my position.’ LOL.

Dear father-in-law: I know that my husband and I will NEVER treat our son the way you treated my husband, and that we’ll never make our son feel the way you made him feel. I also won’t refer to him as your son, because he doesn’t refer you as his father; not anymore. MY father is. Oh, and my son will NEVER know who you are, unless he reads this blog. He will never know you as a grandfather. You said yourself that you don’t need him, as that was the last thing you said to me, so it shouldn’t even matter to you. Don’t ask anyone for photos or videos of him, because they won’t ever be shared by those that actually care for me, my husband, and our son. I also want you to know that everything my husband achieved in his life, he achieved not because of you, but in spite of you. And it’s not me saying it; but him – my husband. He told me to include this in a post, and this, as well as the previous post, was his idea. He does hope that his sisters get a better version of a parent in you than he ever got. They at least deserve that.

While we’re on the subject of parenting, let’s discuss Netflix’s Ginny & Georgia. I’ve been super excited to talk about them. I’ve been meaning to for a while, but never got the right opportunity to do it. It stars Brianne Howey as Georgia, and Antonia Gentry as Ginny, her daughter, whom she had at the age of 16. It’s a great show. My sister-in-law had tiny roles on episode 6 of season 1 as extras. The series, to its entirety, explores complex parenting dynamics, particularly through the characters of Georgia and her daughter, Ginny. Georgia, despite her loving intentions, often displays manipulative and harmful behaviors, while Ginny struggles with identity, mental health, and navigating her mother’s choices. The show delves into themes of trauma, generational cycles, and the challenges of healthy communication within a family. To break things down more thoroughly:

• Georgia’s Parenting Style: Georgia, a young, attractive, and charismatic woman, prioritizes her children’s safety and happiness, but her methods are often flawed. She is shown to be manipulative, controlling, and prone to making decisions that prioritize her own needs over her children’s well-being. 

• Ginny’s Perspective: Ginny, Georgia’s teenage daughter, grapples with her mother’s secrets, her own identity, and the impact of Georgia’s actions on her life. She experiences anxiety, self-harm, and explores relationships with friends and romantic interests, often mirroring her mother’s patterns. 

• Parental Influence: The show highlights how parental actions and behaviors can significantly impact a child’s development and mental health. Ginny’s journey is marked by her attempts to break free from the cycle of trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms she witnesses in her mother. 

• Community and Support: The series also introduces other characters who offer support and different perspectives on parenting, such as Ginny’s father, Zion, and Georgia’s romantic interests, Paul and Joe. These characters provide alternative models of relationships and family dynamics. 

Georgia was never a bad mom. She was a flawed mom, but never a bad mom. She made her own share of mistakes, but she’s always tried her best with the tools she had (and didn’t have). She’s considered to be a complex mom; a controversial mom. She often shows her love and devotion to her kids, Ginny and her younger brother, Austin, by manipulative behavior, a lack of stability, and questionable moral choices. She prioritizes her own needs and desires, sometimes at the expense of her children’s well-being, which makes her a divisive character among fans. She’s fiercely protective of her children and will go to great lengths to keep them safe, even resorting to violence or crime. In season 3, she was sent to jail on murder charges. She strives to provide her children with a stable and comfortable life, moving them to new locations and working hard to create a sense of normalcy. Despite her flaws, and there are a lot of them, Georgia tries to connect with her children, especially Ginny, and often tries to understand their perspectives. She always admits that she’s not perfect and is aware of her shortcomings as a parent, even though she may struggle to change her behavior. She often disregards ethical boundaries to protect her family raises serious questions about her judgment and ability to make responsible decisions. That being said, she often fails to consider the consequences of her actions, both for herself and her children. 

Overall, Ginny & Georgia offers a nuanced portrayal of parenting, highlighting both the love and the harm that can be present in family relationships. It explores the complexities of intergenerational trauma and the challenges of breaking free from destructive patterns. The story between Ginny and Georgia could be easily be compared to that of Lorelai and Rory from Gilmore Girls. Lorelai, too, had Rory when she was 16 years old, and she, too, raised Rory on her own, with no help in sight. Just like Georgia, Lorelai made her share of mistakes in raising her daughter. I personally can’t forget how Lorelai seemed so disappointed in Rory when she found out Rory applied to other schools other than Harvard, and how furious she became when she found out she applied to Yale, a school that Rory’s grandfather was a professor at. Lorelai automatically assumed that she did this only because her grandparents had been ‘whispering in her ear’; as though Rory couldn’t have a mind of her own.

The best way I could describe Lorelai as a mother is by stating the facts: she wanted Rory to have everything she herself didn’t have – both by being raised in the exact opposite way than her own mother raised her, as well as by providing her a better future than she ever imagined for her own self due to her teen pregnancy. At times, Lorelai would go overboard with her own personal feelings and agenda when it came down to Rory’s decisions that went against her vision for her. When Rory’s ant of decisions went against everything she wanted for her, Lorelai automatically assumed that her parents, Rory’s grandparents, had something to do with it. She couldn’t bear the mere thought that Rory might’ve wanted something different than what Lorelai wanted for her.

Emily and Richard, Lorelai’s parents and Rory’s grandparents, had a lot to do with Rory’s success, as well as her downfall. They two were cut from Rory’s life until the age of 16. Lorelai initially left home and her privileged life when Rory was a year old and moved to a small town, the fictional Stars Hollow, to live a more independent life with her daughter, away from her parents’, particularly Emily’s, noise in her mothering her daughter. Lorelai came to them 15 years later when Rory got accepted to Chilton, a prestigious high school, but she couldn’t afford it. Again, going back to my point on Lorelai wanting Rory to have everything she didn’t and wanted for herself, she was desperate, and going to her parents seemed like her only option. Richard and Emily agreed to pay for the school, but only if both Lorelai and Rory would come every Friday at 7 PM for weekly dinners. Lorelai, of course, wasn’t happy about it, but out of desperation for her daughter’s bright future, she agreed.

Emily came up with that idea before Richard was preparing to write Lorelai a cheque. It was a similar manipulation tactic my father-in-law would use on my husband and our relationship. In his mind, he said, ‘Yes, I’ll help you. But you have to do something in return…’ Emily loved her daughter in her own special way. She wanted to do what she felt was right. She wanted her to marry Rory’s father, Christopher. She wanted her to be her ‘perfect daughter’. She wanted to have the same life as her friends did. A lot of the time, she went above and beyond to ‘make everything right’, and manipulate those around her, particularly Lorelai and Rory. Inviting Christopher to her and Richard’s vow renewal with the intention of breaking Lorelai and Luke up was just one example of that. There was also a time when she was trying to break Rory and Dean, Rory’s first love, up because she thought he wasn’t good enough for her due to her class. She was afraid of her image being ruined had Rory ended up with him, or someone like him.

When push comes to shove, Emily always realized her faults, and no matter how much Lorelai tried to deny it throughout her entire life, she did need her mother. That’s the reality of parenthood. You think you know what’s best for your children, and you try to do the best you can for them. But what you think is best for them isn’t always true. When they’re adults, you have to give them the freedom to be their own beings. You have to let them make their own choices; to make mistakes; to find who they are on their own terms. Emily’s biggest mistake was that she wouldn’t allow Lorelai to grow and be her own person. That was initially why Lorelai left home to begin with. Emily was heartbroken and, in her own special way, saw Rory as her do-over child.

Two years after deciding to go no-contact with my father-in-law, my husband said that he only wished he’d done it sooner. Had he had room to breathe and do the things he wanted to do without being held back by the one person that was supposed to motivate him and support him, he would’ve been at a different place in his life entirely. This isn’t just about him stepping in the way of our relationship and trying his best to break us up, even after my husband had already proposed. My husband, without him realizing it until after he told me the story, shamelessly was set up on a date by my father-in-law with a woman that he felt was good enough for his image – like Emily did with Lorelai and Rory.

We, my husband and I, have had many conversations on the negative impact keeping my father-in-law in his life for as long as he did had on him as a man. Time and time again, my husband was always belittled, undermined, mocked, and humiliated. He never felt loved. He never felt like he was good enough for anything. He never felt worthy. He never felt deserving. He never felt understood. He never felt like he was listened to. He was always made out to feel guilty about every single little thing. Now that my husband has had two years to finally think for himself with the constant pressure and stress of having his father’s noise in his ear, he realized that the only wished he cut him off sooner. I’d say that that’s the one regret he has in his entire life. Life is finally coming together for him, and he’s able to achieve everything he was set out to achieve in his younger years. He’s accepted that my father-in-law, the one person that was supposed to support him and love him unconditionally, was the one person that was holding him back; that was manipulating him to be the version of himself that was never him to begin with.

Part of being a parent, a good parent at least, is stepping back and allowing your child be their own person as they grow older. This goes back to Demi Moore’s point that I talked about heavily; one that she made when Jennifer Hudson asked her whether she gave her daughter any parenting advice. Not allowing my husband to breathe and not giving him room to grow as a grown man is exactly why my father-in-law is no longer in his life and will never be a part of our son’s life. My husband has made it very clear that he doesn’t want our son to witness a torturous person like my father-in-law so close by. It’s also the reason why my husband’s stepmother has been estranged from our lives since then too. Unless she takes responsibility for her actions and genuinely apologizes for her wrongdoings, which includes breaking our boundaries and not allowing us room to grow as people and parents, then it’ll stay that way. The two people who will suffer the most from it are my sisters-in-law. Over the years, my husband and I have tried our best to stay cordial with their parents for their, and only their, sake. But there comes a time when you just have to say, ‘Enough is enough’. We did our very best. We had to put ourselves and our family first. We need to break the cycle, and to do so, we had to break free of their parents.

Georgia’s own backstory wasn’t an easy one. Her biological father, Shane Reilly, was imprisoned for attempted murder, allegedly of Georgia and her mother. Georgia hasn’t seen him since she was a child and he still calls her by her birth name, Mary. Georgia’s mother, Daisy, struggled with substance abuse and remarried Ed Atkins after Shane’s imprisonment. Ed abused Georgia, and later Maddie, her half-sister, after Georgia left home.  Partially because of this, Maddie and Georgia have a fractured relationship. Georgia shot Ed in the hand after returning home and confronting him about the abuse. 

What Georgia desperately wanted was for her kids to have a better life than she ever did. She wanted her kids to have it all. Sometimes she took drastic measures to make that happen. A lot of the times, everything she did, even while having good intentions. was at the expense of her own children, and she didn’t even realize this. Perhaps the most emotional scene was the one where she realizes Ginny burns herself. She tells her daughter, through tears, ‘You give me all the pain, I can handle it.’ I can’t imagine the mere thought of thinking that you caused your child so much pain that the only way they felt they could release it was to harm themselves. And yet, I could most certainly relate to Ginny at that moment. I, too, burned myself. I also cut myself and found other means to hurt myself. It’s now in the past. But it happened to me. It wasn’t that I wanted to die. It was that I didn’t care if I lived. It was also that the times when I hurt myself were the only times I felt I was in control of my life.

Overdramatic?

No. It’s just the reality of mental health; one of it, at least. I have to say, one thing Ginny & Georgia has done so well is shed light on mental health. And it’s this portrayal of mental health goes beyond Ginny and Georgia themselves. Every character on the show has that human element, because in real life, everyone in the world is fighting a battle you can’t see. The show’s characters go through real-life issues, such as anxiety, body image issues, or family trauma, without making light of serious struggles. Felix Mallard, who plays Marcus, Ginny’s on-and-off boyfriend, said, ‘The show] approaches these themes with an adult reverence because they are real for teenagers, without this sense of it being maudlin or like a PSA. It’s not talking down. To treat it with that level of respect and love and honesty, [means] you can pull something profound out of it and can explore what it’s like without judgment or fear.’

Of season 3 of Ginny & Georgia, Schroeder Stribling, president and CEO of Mental Health America, who has partnered up with the series to promote mental health, said, ‘I’m grateful to see Season 3 of Ginny & Georgia tackle mental health issues — such as anxiety, intergenerational trauma, and seeking help — with the honesty and nuance it deserves. By sharing these personal stories, the show sparks vital conversations, reduces stigma, and reminds us all that asking for help is a sign of strength. Mental Health America is honored to continue our partnership with Ginny & Georgia as the show empowers viewers and inspires hope: We know we’re not alone. We will all have difficult experiences and emotions, and we can be there for each other through life’s challenges.’

Going back to Felix Mallard, his portrayal of Marcus was perhaps the most compelling one of season 3. Heck, I’d even go as far as saying that it was the most compelling one of the entire series as a whole. Throughout season 3, Marcus experiences a significant struggle with depression. Season 3, in particular, explored the complexities of Marcus’s depression, including his attempts to manage it through self-medication with alcohol and the impact it has on his relationships, particularly with his twin sister, Max, as well as Ginny, who’s also Max’s best friend. The show also highlights the difficulty those around him have in understanding and helping him, as well as the challenges he faces in seeking help and adjusting to life after rehab. To break things down more thoroughly:

• Season 2: Marcus’s depression is mentioned in relation to the death of his best friend, and it is presented as a factor in his breakup with Ginny. 

• Season 3: Marcus’s depression is depicted as worsening, leading him to self-medicate with alcohol and causing a rift in his relationships. 

• Self-Medication and its Impact: Marcus’s drinking escalates to the point where Max intervenes, and the show portrays how his actions affect his academic progress, relationships, and family. 

• Seeking Help: The season culminates with Marcus and his mother going to rehab, signaling a step towards addressing his substance abuse and depression. 

• Impact on Others: The series also explores the impact of Marcus’s depression on his sister Max, who struggles to balance her own needs with his crises. 

• Authentic Depiction: The show’s writers aim for an authentic portrayal of Marcus’s depression, including the internal struggle and the difficulty of seeking help. 

• Challenging Toxic Masculinity: Marcus’s open exploration of his mental health challenges the stereotype of toxic masculinity. 

• Rehab and Beyond: The show leaves the audience with the question of how Marcus will adjust to life after rehab, particularly in his relationships with those he loves. 

In one scene, Marcus describes depression in a monologue as follows: ‘Some feelings are like old familiar friends. Depression’s like that for me. When I’m not in it I don’t remember it. I remember it’s bad. I remember the darkness, but it’s… different to feel it again. It’s the difference between remembering what a room looks like and actually walking through the door. Being inside it again, feeling it. When the episode starts, it can be slow at first. An intrusive thought. “ I don’t wanna be here,” but then it’s gone. You bat it away like a fly or a bad smell. When it hits you fully though, when you’re finally in it, it’s everything. It’s who you are, you’re nothing else. On the outside you look the same, smiling and pretending is so much work, but inside, it’s a different story. You start to hate yourself. You’re so alone, so unbelievably alone. And you can be with someone you love but you’re not really with them. We think we know what’s going on with other people but we don’t. You never really know what’s going on inside someone else’s head. Everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see. We all have blind spots. And you know it’s you, and it’s also exhausting. So goddamn shitty and exhausting and it’s helpless. It’s a void and existing takes so much energy, you wanna sink into a hole or nothing where no one talk to you and you don’t have to smile or talk or…be. Anyway it’s familiar. I’ve been here before, gotten out of it before, but the getting out part becomes the room that you remember but aren’t in. And that’s what’s scary. Being back in the room where depression lives, it’s a sharp pain and an overwhelming numbness. I love her. Even in the room, I love her. But being loved takes work too. I don’t have it in me to be loved right now.’

It was perfect….

It was the perfect way to articulate depression and put it into words that can be so hard to say out loud. Depression is a wave of emotions. It’s like a moving river that flows uncontrollably. You can never control it. You can only feel it. And you’re constantly fighting through it. It’s chaotic. It’s messy. It’s immensely frustrating. Marcus, on his part, can be seen as a a$$hole on the outside. But he’s also vulnerable. We get to see a side of him that nobody else gets to see; not even those closest to him. We get to see him as he goes from a “normal angsty” teen to a majorly depressed one. He’s struggling. To the outside world, it seems like he hates everyone. But he’s also doesn’t. He hates…himself.

All of his emotions are real. They’re raw. He’s trying so hard to balance the life of a normal teenager, but he just can’t. He’s suffering. He’s grieving. He’s fighting a battle that’s he just can’t seem to win. The sad part of it all is that no one seems to even notice. Everyone around him calls him crazy. They can’t understand why he is the way he is. I know exactly how he’s feeling. I’ve felt it myself in my own struggle with depression. I don’t hate the world around me. I hate me. I hate that I live in this world where people don’t understand me and who I am. It stemmed from the night I was raped, and then it lingered to something much, much deeper than that. Perhaps it was because it took me years to admit that I was raped in the first place.

Marcus’ mom, in despair and agony, asks him, ‘What is wrong with you? Do you hate us?’ To which Marcus, on the verge of a breakdown, replies, ‘No, no. I don’t hate you. I hate me. I hate me, okay? I hate ME. You understand? I hate ME.’ He says this to his mom over and over again, and uses sign language to further communicate this so that his dad can understand. It was a truly beautiful scene. I could feel Marcus’ pain. I could feel Ellen’s, Marcus’ mom, pain. As a parent – a good parent that actually gives a sh*t – it’s a hard pill to swallow that your child is going through such a hard time and you can’t do anything about it. It almost would’ve been so much easier to have had it been your fault. Ellen’s reaction to Marcus’ ‘I hate Me’ was exactly the same as Georgia’s realization that Ginny burns herself. They both tried to do their best as parents, but their children were going through things that were much deeper than what they themselves could ever control.

Depression is grief like no other. You grieve the person you were because that person is gone. You grieve the person you’ve become became that person isn’t anyone you recognize, or even want to be. But it’s like…you almost have no choice but to be that person. You just hope that someone will understand you. For Ginny, it was Georgia that understood her. It was especially true when Ginny became pregnant in season 3. She was absolutely terrified to tell Georgia. She was terrified of disappointing her; of Georgia hating her for her mistake; a mistake that Georgia once made herself. Ginny was scared. She didn’t want to tell anyone except for her mom. And in turn, Ginny didn’t even have to say a word for Georgia to realize what was happening. She just knew…

Much to Ginny’s surprise, however, Georgia, even though she was shocked, showed that she’d always be there to support Ginny no matter what. Ginny decided to get an abortion, and Georgia supported her through this journey; unconditionally. No matter what. It’s something that every person, no matter what age, race, gender, disability, or sexuality, wants from their parents. It’s what my husband so desperately wanted from my father-in-law but never ended up getting. Instead, all my father-in-law ever did was gaslight. It’s the one thing he’s good at; alongside being a businessman. Finally, after years of agony, despair, and hopeless attempts, my husband, ‘Enough is enough.’

Brianne Howey, who plays Georgia, said of her character’s journey in season 3, ‘It’s the first season we see Georgia truly, truly broken down and watch her try to rebuild herself through the lens of honesty, which is really hard for her. She’s never done that before.’ It’s true. Georgia had never done this before; not from when we first met her, and probably not in her entire life. You can say what you want about Georgia as a person, but one thing remains true: she’s a damn good mother. She tries to be. She tries to do right by her children – no matter what.