Katy Perry & Miranda Kerr: Your Guide To A Successful Co-Parenting Relationship – The Dynamic Of A Healthy Blended Family

Mentioning Demi Moore in my previous blog entry on the compelling realities of parenthood as seen through Ginny & Georgia’s Georgia and Ellen made me think so much of the aspects of parenthood and the complexities that come with co-parenting with an ex. Moore herself co-parented her 3 daughters – Rumer, Scout and Tallulah Willis – with her ex-husband, former actor Bruce Willis. Now, 25 years after their divorce was finalized, and their child are grown, they’ve maintained a great friendship, and she’s shown a strong presends in his life as he struggles with dementia.

Two other women in the entertainment industry have been the face and positive force of maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship with an ex. These are Katy Perry and Miranda Kerr. No, they’re not together. They never have been. Kerr has been married to Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel since 2017 and together they have 3 children. She also has an older son, Flynn, whose father is Orlando Bloom. Up until recently, Perry was in a 9 year relationship with Bloom, and engaged for 6. Together, they have a daughter, Daisy Dove. Soon after the split was announced, the two were seen amicably vacationing together with the kids.

Just a couple of days ago, Kerr was seen attending Katy Perry’s Lifetimes Tour alongside her husband. This might’ve come as a surprise to some, especially considering the fact that Perry and Bloom broke up months ago, according to sources. But in reality, the two women have always been close. They were regularly seen attending events together and supporting one another. Two years ago, Kerr opened up about her own relationship with the singer. She said, ‘I literally say how thankful I am for Katy every day. I feel very blessed to have that relationship with her. She really is like a sister to me and we’ve kind of connected from day one.’ She even revealed that thy take family vacations together, and this is why seeing Perry and Bloom vacationing together with the kids after their split was announced shouldn’t be seen as a surprise.

On her Kerr’s Moments podcast, which she shares with basketball player and presenter Candace Parker, Kerr said while reflecting on her co-parenting relationship with Bloom, ‘We actually did that in a really healthy way and we’re friends now because we were able to communicate that the most important thing was Flynn. We’re not talking about our needs, our hurt, we’re talking about Flynn and if this is the best thing for him. We make choices based on that still to this day.’ And of her blossoming friendship with Perry, which started when Bloom invited her to his house to introduce them, she said, ‘I saw how she was with Flynn, she was very playful with Flynn, she was not trying to be his mom. She was just being friendly and kind and that’s all you can ask for. We go on holidays together, we celebrate all the important milestones. I mean I love her. It would be safe to say I love her more than Flynn’s dad. Perry] helps me deal with him because she can deal with him and I’m so grateful that she’s there because it just takes the pressure off me.’

I Lol’d. Truly and genuinely Lol’d. Kerr’s testament on her son’s stepmother, now former stepmother, made it remarkably clear that the two were more than just friends; they were family, and nothing would ever change that. It’s nice to see two strong women uplifting and crediting one another so publicly. While I’m sure they don’t show their love for one another for any marketing or promotion purposes, their relationship does indeed promote the importance of a healthy co-parenting relationship. Just this past month, Kerr, Perry, Bloom and Spiegel were all seen together at the 2025 Vanity Fair Oscar’s after party. Flynn is a very lucky boy.

I myself never had any experience having stepparents. My parents are still together. My husband, even though his parents are divorced, didn’t either. His stepmother came into his life when he was 20 years old. She wasn’t a co-parent. She didn’t take part in raising him. It’s a different type of relationship a stepparent has with their stepchild when the stepparent comes into the child’s life when they’re actually a child. But she is the mother of my husband’s two younger sisters. Therefore, we still maintained a close relationship with her after she and my father-in-law separated. We even maintained a close relationship after my husband went no-contact with my father-in-law – up until a certain point where she crossed our boundaries when it came to our son.

The estrangement, in this particular case, in this context, doesn’t matter. We continued to have a relationship with my husband’s stepmother following her separation from her husband for the sake of my husband’s sisters, and we did so until too many boundaries were crossed. Many boundaries were already crossed throughout the years. But this time, a third person was involved, our son. He’s our priority now, and we need to make sure he’s provided the best care – with love, nurture, and love. We need to make sure his parents are at their best. And we’re at our best when my in-laws aren’t there telling us how to live and breathe. Nevertheless, my sisters-in-law will ALWAYS be welcome in our life.

It was important for both my husband and I to maintain a relationship with my sisters-in-law. It’s just what you do for kids and the people you love – you maintain cordial relationships for them; but not at the expense of the well-being of your own family. But we’re not here to speak of being there for my sisters-in-law following their parents’ separation. In spite everything, I hope they know that I’ll always be there for them; no matter what. I always tell them this. I always tell them that, even if my husband and I were ever to divorce, I’ll always be there for them as a sister and that they can come to me ANY time. My door is always open. My phone line is always open. You divorce spouses. Not kids. So instead of continuing on about other people’s children that have their own parents, we’re here to speak of finding a common ground with an ex partner following a separation; like the one Orlando Bloom has with both Miranda Kerr and Katy Perry. While acknowledging the value in providing a healthy environment for your children by creating a healthy co-parenting relationship with an ex and their new partners.

Generally speaking a, healthy co-parenting relationship is crucial for the well-being of children, fostering a sense of security, stability, and healthy development. It allows children to maintain positive relationships with both parents, reduces conflict, and provides a consistent and supportive environment. To break things down more thoroughly:

Benefits for Children: 

• Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Children experience less stress and anxiety when their parents can communicate effectively and minimize conflict. 

• Emotional and Psychological Well-being: Positive co-parenting fosters a sense of security and emotional stability, contributing to better mental health outcomes for children. 

• Stronger Relationships with Both Parents: When parents work together, children tend to have more positive relationships with both, rather than feeling torn between them. 

• Improved Academic Performance: Children in cooperative co-parenting situations often show improved academic performance, possibly due to reduced stress and increased support. 

• Better Problem-Solving Skills: Children learn healthy communication and problem-solving skills by observing their parents’ cooperative interactions. 

• Sense of Security and Stability:A consistent approach to parenting, shared routines, and open communication provide a sense of security and stability for children. 

• Resilience:Co-parenting can help children develop resilience, allowing them to better cope with challenges and setbacks in life. 

Benefits for Parents: 

• Reduced Conflict and Stress: Co-parenting can minimize conflict and disagreements, leading to a less stressful environment for parents. 

• Improved Communication and Collaboration: When parents communicate effectively, they can make better decisions together, especially regarding their children. 

• Personal Growth: Co-parenting can encourage personal growth and improved communication skills for parents as they navigate their new family dynamic. 

• Positive Role Modeling: Cooperative co-parenting provides a positive example for children about healthy relationships and communication. 

• Shared Responsibility:Working together, parents can share the responsibilities of raising their children, making it a more manageable and fulfilling experience. 

Key Elements of Healthy Co-Parenting: 

• Respectful Communication: Open and honest communication between parents is essential for effective co-parenting. 

• Shared Responsibility: Working together to make decisions and share responsibilities for the children. 

• Flexibility and Compromise: Being willing to compromise and adapt to changing circumstances is important for a healthy co-parenting relationship. 

• Focus on the Child’s Needs: Prioritizing the child’s well-being and making decisions that are in their best interest. 

• Avoiding Conflict and Negative Talk: Refraining from speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the child. 

Even though husband and I are (happily) married, we’re not stupid. We’re not blindly in love. We understand that things happens; that life happens. Divorce CAN happen between us. My husband had a first-look at the effects of divorce and the effects it has on the child; particularly the effects of animosity between parents. He’s had a first-look at what can happen what can happen when a child witnesses a father mistreating their mother and abusing his power over her and the family. When my father-in-law and his second wife separated, my husband was truly worried about his sisters’ well-being, knowing full well what kind of a person this father can be following a separation. He knows what type of person their father can be in general, but following a separation…

In hindsight, having witnessed such traumatic events in his life caused by my father-in-law was the best thing for my husband in shaping him into the man he’s become, as well as the husband and father he’s become. When we first got together, he made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to get married or have children – because of the trauma he’d endured at the hands of his father. He didn’t think he could be good at any of these. I was fine with it. I wasn’t looking to get married or have children at the time. I just wanted to have fun. So for about a year, we were just f*ck buddies. I wasn’t looking fine with not even meeting any relationship milestones, like the first ‘I love you, meeting each other’s friends and families, vacationing together, etc.

Suddenly, I’m meeting my now-husband’s mother, the most important woman in his life. It was fine. I’ve met boyfriends’ mothers before and have always been great with them. Mothers love me. I met her on Skype because she was in Israel. She moved there following the divorce. Then, my now-husband wanted me to meet his entire family. I met his stepmother and sisters. I remember that day very vividly. That was the day I looked at him and said to myself, ‘This is going to be the father of my children’. I didn’t even know if I wanted to end up with him in the long-run. I didn’t know if I wanted him to be my husband and spend the rest of my life with him. I just knew I wanted him to be the father of my children. The way he cared for his sisters that day…I melted. He might’ve not known that he could be a good father, but I did. In general, for the first two years of my sisters-in law’s lives, he did everything that a father should do…because their father wouldn’t. He failed university because his priority at the time was to make sure his sisters were taken care of.

Fast forward to two years into our relationship, I’m travelling to Israel with my f*ck buddy to meet each other’s families that live there in person. I finally met my then future mother-in-law in person. She was just as lovely in person as she was on video. Much more lovely than her ex-husband, that’s for sure. And speaking of him, my mother-in-law had an in-depth conversation about him that time. She warned me about the type of person he was, and what could happen in my relationship with my now-husband considering genes certainly play a role in who we become, as well as the fact that he stayed he was ‘raised’ by her ex. I put quotation marks under the word raised because it’s too much of a strong word to use when describing the father-son bond between my husband and my mother-in-law’s ex. I’d best describe it as my husband staying under his roof. The raising…my husband did that himself.

It wasn’t that I didn’t take what my mother-in-law was telling me seriously. I most certainly did. If there was anyone who could predict how my now-husband could’ve potentially treated women based on what she experienced and what her son had witnessed, it was her. But I also knew that my husband was better than that. He was a good person, and he always wanted others to see that in him. All he needed was for someone to believe in him, and he got that in me. Of course, he’s had his share of flaws. Who doesn’t? But I knew he’d never be even the slightest bit of a version of my father-in-law. And if he did show signs, he’d do anything to change that. He always strived to be a better person; a better version of himself. He strived to be the exact opposite of what he knew a man to be.

I’m not even going to lie or sugarcoat this. Having a man beside you that had witnessed an unhealthy relationship, as well as an unhealthy co-parenting relationship following a separation between his parents is…hard, and this is a light way of putting it. That’s why I put such an emphasis on what a lucky boy Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom’s son Flynn is to have had 4 parents that love him so deeply that they’re willing to put all their differences aside to make sure that he’s well taken care of and feels safe and loved no matter what. That wasn’t the case for my husband. If I could compare him to any character, it’d be Chandler Bing from Friends, played by the late Matthew Perry.

Chandler’s parents divorced when he was a teenager. But even when they were together, they didn’t provide him the best example of what a healthy family dynamic should look like. They were constantly fighting. They couldn’t even get through dinner without having a screaming match, and they didn’t care if their son was right there listening. This very much affected Chandler in his adulthood, particularly how he viewed relationships. Though he was in an on-and-off relationship with Janice in the earlier seasons of Friends, his most stable, serious relationship was with Monica. They were the most solid couple that we saw portrayed on the show. They ended up getting married and adopting twins by the series’ run. But this didn’t mean the couple didn’t experience their own share of problems.

One scene in particular between Chandler and Monica really stood out for me. It was when they had their first fight as a couple. Chandler automatically assumed that they were broken up. Monica, confused, reassured him that they weren’t. They had a fight. They talk things through and they move on – that’s what Monica told him. It was all so new to him; that a fight doesn’t always end with a breakup. He didn’t know any different. But Monica did, because that was what she saw in her home. Her parents stayed together, happily married. She witnessed them fight, communicate, talk things through and move on. That was what she utilized in her own relationship with Chandler, and she helped him see that a relationship can withstand the test of time.

Even when two parents are separated, they can still reinforce a positive co-parenting relationship and show their child(ren) that just because two people aren’t together the love isn’t there. The love (and respect) can still be there, but in a different way. That was what Chandler was missing in his life. That was what my husband was missing in his life. In a lot of ways, I was Monica in my relationship with my husband, especially in the early years of our relationship. Still to this day, he’s figuring sh*t out. It’s not always perfect, but he tries his best, and that’s all that really matters to me. Now that he’s a father to our son, my husband strives to be the father that he always wanted to have for himself – a loving, present father. And that’s exactly what he is. He’s been absolutely fantastic; exactly the father that I always knew he could be – from the very moment I saw how much he took care of my sisters-in-law.

Again, even though we’re still (happily) married, we’re not stupid. We understand that life happens; that divorce CAN happen between us two. We’d already gone through a separation before our son was born. Now, if we do end up in that position again, there’ll be another person involved. With this in mind, we’ve had many discussions about what we’d want to do if we were ever in that position. We both agreed that the most important thing would be our son; that no matter what we’d always be a family. Mind you, we don’t have to be like Miranda Kerr, Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry; but we also don’t have to be like my father-in-law and his former wives.

My husband and I will always be a family no matter what happens between us. He made it loud and clear. Even if we were to be separate and live our lives as two separate entities, we’ll always be family – because we have a child together. Even if we’re to separate, there will always be love, utmost respect and devotion between the two of us – because we have a child together. The thing about two people being together is…sometimes they’re better off living apart. They’ll even get along together better that way than they do if they stay together. In many ways, separating can be the best thing two people can do for the kids.

A true misconception that’s been around since the beginning of time, especially in certain cultures, is that the best thing parents can do for their children is to stay together; or to keep living together after a separation and live two separate lives. No. Absolutely not. Neither of these options are good for the kids. You see, parents, I believe, set an example for their kids of what a relationship and marriage should look like. If our children are witnessing constant bitterness and animosity between their two parents, then what kind of an example are we setting for them? Not a good one. As parents, you want to show your children a positive example of what love SHOULD look like. It’s a love that involves expressing affection, providing support, and demonstrating healthy relationship dynamics. This includes verbal affirmations, physical affection, quality time, and setting a positive example in how you treat others, including your partner. To break it down more thoroughly:

1. Verbal and Emotional Expressions:

• Saying “I love you”: Regularly express your love with words, letting your children know they are cherished. 

• Using positive affirmations: Make statements like “I’m proud of you,” “You make me smile,” or “I love spending time with you”. 

• Expressing appreciation: Acknowledge their efforts and positive qualities with specific praise. 

• Listening actively: Pay attention when they talk, make eye contact, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. 

• Validating emotions: Acknowledge their feelings, even if you don’t agree with their actions, and help them learn to manage emotions in healthy ways. 

2. Physical Affection: 

• Hugs and cuddles: Offer physical affection, like hugs and cuddles, to convey warmth and security. 

• Gentle touch: Hold their hand, pat their back, or stroke their hair to create a sense of closeness. 

• Respect boundaries: Be mindful of their preferences and avoid overwhelming them with physical affection if they prefer less touch. 

3. Quality Time and Activities: 

• Spending dedicated time: Make time for one-on-one activities, like playing games, reading, or simply talking. 

• Shared experiences: Engage in activities together, like cooking, crafting, or watching movies, to create positive memories. 

• Being present: Put away distractions, like your phone, when spending time with your children, and be fully engaged in the moment. 

4. Modeling Healthy Relationships: 

• Treating your partner with love and respect: Your children learn about love by observing how you interact with your spouse or partner. 

• Showing kindness to others: Demonstrate empathy and compassion in your interactions with people outside the family. 

• Apologizing when wrong: Admit when you’ve made a mistake and apologize, teaching them the importance of accountability and forgiveness. 

On an episode of The Kardashians, Khloe opened up to her best friend, Malika Haqq, that her older daughter, True, thought that she and Tristian Thompson, Kardashian’s former partner and father to True, thought that her parents were still together. She told Haqq at the time, ‘True thinks me and Tristan are married.’ To which Haqq said, ‘It’s just probably better for her. It’s not like she would really understand. It’s okay.’ Kardashian then said, ‘It is the right thing to do. In my opinion. Get married, have kids. That’s what I want to teach her.’ In a confessional, she continued, ‘True thinks that me and Tristan are married. The only thing that bothers me about that would be I don’t want True going through life thinking this is what a marriage is. That you’re married to someone and they don’t live with you and you never have to kiss them, or you don’t sleep in the same bed together.’

MIC DROP!!!!

I mentioned before that my parents are still together. And even though that might be true, it doesn’t mean they didn’t have through their own share of differences in their union. They did. They separated twice in my lifetime. The first time was when I was 3 years old. The second was when I was 7 years old. I remember both events so vividly. In fact, their first separation is my first core memory of my parents. The fact that they got back together and stayed together didn’t make things easier for me. To the contrary, it made it harder for me. It made me question why they’d have me go through all of the turmoil and witness such hostility between them if they were just going to work things out. I felt like I’d gone through everything that I’d gone through at their hands for nothing. Nevertheless, as I’d gotten older, I began to think of my parents as two individual people rather than one entity. It made it easier for me to understand who they are and who they have been since. This has also shaped me in my relationship with my husband and parenting my son.

No one, and I mean absolutely no one, ever goes into a marriage thinking they’ll get a divorce. Some couples blindly believe they’ll be in love forever. That might be true. However, let it be known that marriage is a contract – a business contract. Businesses sometimes fail. Marriages fail for a multitude of reasons, with lack of commitment, constant conflict, and infidelity topping the list in many studies. Other significant factors include communication issues, financial problems, and growing apart. Essentially, marriages often crumble when couples struggle to address fundamental challenges, fail to adapt to changes, or neglect the emotional needs of their partners. To break things down more thoroughly:

1. Fundamental Issues: 

• Lack of Commitment:This can manifest as a diminished desire to work on the relationship, poor communication, or a lack of everyday kindness, according to Psych Central. 

• Constant Arguing/Conflict:Persistent conflict, especially without effective resolution, can erode the foundation of a marriage, notes Psych Central. 

• Infidelity:Betrayal of trust, whether emotional or physical, can be incredibly damaging to a marriage. 

2. Relationship Dynamics: 

• Communication Issues: Poor communication, including defensiveness, stonewalling, and criticism, can prevent couples from understanding each other’s needs and resolving conflicts.

• Lack of Intimacy: Diminished physical and emotional intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. 

• Growing Apart: Changes in priorities, personal growth, or simply a lack of shared experiences can lead couples to drift apart. 

• Emotional Neglect: One partner’s consistent failure to acknowledge or validate the other’s feelings can create a sense of isolation and resentment. 

3. External Factors: 

• Financial Problems: Money is a common source of conflict, especially when couples have different spending habits or face unexpected financial burdens. 

• In-Law Problems: Conflicts with in-laws can create tension and strain the marital relationship. 

• Addiction: Substance abuse or other addictions can create significant challenges for the marriage, impacting communication, trust, and emotional well-being. 

• Mental Health Issues: Untreated mental health conditions can affect a person’s ability to maintain healthy relationships. 
• Unrealistic Expectations: Expecting the marriage to fulfill all emotional needs or to be a constant source of happiness can set couples up for disappointment, notes Divorce.com. 

4. Signs of Trouble: 

• Constant Criticism: Frequent criticism and contempt can be a sign of deep-seated resentment and a lack of respect. 
• Avoidance: Avoiding conflict or difficult conversations can prevent problems from being addressed, allowing them to fester. 
• Lying: Dishonesty and lack of transparency erode trust and communication. 
• Lack of Respect: A fundamental lack of respect for one another can be a major red flag. 

I remember watching a particular segment on The Real. It was about divorce and prenups. Adrienne Bailon, a hopeless romantic said there was something about prenup that seemed so ‘unromantic’ to her, and that she’d never marry someone who she thought would mistreat her. Tamar Braxton, whose parents are divorced, quickly chimed in and without hesitation or any doubt in her mind said that her mother once told her that once she and her father got divorced, he became unrecognizable to her, and that’s someone she was with since she was 15 years old.

Braxton’s testament resonated with me on a deeper level. It’s true that the person you once love so much, and STILL love so much, becomes unrecognizable in a time of separation. The constant tension, resentment, bitterness, and anger that lingers between the two of you becomes almost too much to bear. I’ve seen it in my parents when they were separated. My husband has seen when his parents divorced. We know how divorce affects a child involved as a third-party. That’s exactly why it was so important for us to have those unpleasant, but very important conversations of what our life would look like in a case of a divorce. At the end of the day, no matter what happens between us, the most important thing in the world to us both is the well-being of our son. That’s why no matter what, no matter how much we might hate each other, we will always do what is in the best interest of our son. Period!