Andy Byron & Kristin Cabot: The Fundamentals Of Cheating – And The Reasons Behind The Narrative Of The Deed Itself

Coldplay hasn’t released a single in 4 years, and in a split second, made 2 singles. That’s the joke of the day, month, and maybe even year. It was at their concert that Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and Chief People Officer Kristin Cabot were caught in an affair by the kissing cam when they were seen embracing one another in a romantic way even though they were both married to other people. Byron resigned last week after being placed on leave, as did Cabot.

The video of the two quickly went viral online, along with alleged statements from the ex-CEO acknowledging the situation. The entire statement was just an utter joke and a sham. It was just blaming the band for him getting caught doing something horrible to his wife. He couldn’t possibly go to such a public venue as a Coldplay concert with his mistress and not even think there’d be the slightest chance that he’d get caught. If not getting caught by a kissing cam, he could’ve easily been caught by bumping into someone he knew. And so could she.

No matter the case, one thing holds true; even two. Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot made real messes of their lives, as well as the company’s and everyone else that’s involved. The company’s official statement in the midst of the scandal read, ‘Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding. Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability.’ Accountability wasn’t anything that Mr. Byron took.

The July 17 footage showed Mr. Byron’s arms wrapped around Ms. Cabot, but as soon as they realized they were on tape, they tried to duck out of the public’s view, with Mr. Byron throwing his body to the ground and Ms. Cabot covering her face and stepping away from the camera’s view. Chris Martin then commented, ‘Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy.’

In the words of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, Mr. Byron and Ms. Cabot have consciously uncoupled. You can be sure that Astronomer used the circumstances to their advantage. Last Friday, the company released an ad featuring an individual it called a “temporary spokesperson” – none other than Chris Martin’s ex-wife, Gwyneth Paltrow. In the ad, while answering a question about the well-being of the company’s social media team since the scandal, Paltrow said, ‘We will now be returning to what we do best, delivering game-changing results for our customers.’

NYC/DC psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert said that he believed the viral moment became so scandalous due to the public’s obsession with culture and celebrity. He told Fox News Digital, ‘These scandals offer what I call ‘safe outrage.’ They give people a way to channel judgment and frustration without touching the bigger, more divisive issues in society. At the same time, they create a shared space for humor and group bonding. Memes and viral posts turn a private embarrassment into a public spectacle where everyone feels like part of the mob. We’ve seen this pattern before: Adam Neumann became a meme when WeWork collapsed, not just because of bad business decisions but because people loved mocking his ego and excess. Elon Musk’s every misstep on Twitter instantly spawns jokes, with users flipping between adoration and ridicule. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s public grievances sparked endless memes and hot takes, not because people care about British royalty but because the drama feels like a stand-in for their own family feuds. Even Will Smith’s Oscars slap became less about the actual slap and more about collective projection. These scandals are more about our own anxieties about success, failure and power. They are cultural junk food — irresistible, satisfying in the moment, but ultimately empty. In today’s hyper-connected world, these narratives have become psychological pressure valves. They give people permission to judge, vent and bond, all while avoiding the larger and more uncomfortable divisions in society.’

These aren’t even celebrities that were obsessing over. These are real people that f*cked up so publicly. It’s not that celebrities and public figures aren’t real people. But at least they’re well known and have a willingness for their lives to be followed. With celebrity lifestyle, having the public follow their lives comes with the territory. In the case of Mr. Byron and Ms. Cabot, they were at the wrong place at the wrong time, and their story and the way they went about getting caught was made into a mockery.

It’s the world of social media. It’s where things are forgotten within 5 seconds of posting, and yet always remembered at the same time. In the most unlikely and unforeseen of circumstances, an act of public adultery plunged the whole world into a foretaste of the final judgement to come. In this case, it didn’t just involve 2 people; or 4; or 6. It involved 2 families, a whole company, and the entire world. As the kiss came turned to the adulterous couple, the entire would couldn’t stop watching. The public shame was too strong and unavoidable. Not only was the entire world watching, it was laughing out loud.

Life can change in an instant, and it most certainly did for the people involved. Most particularly, for the spouses of Mr. Byron and Ms. Cadot, as well as their children. As a wife and a mother my heart broke for Mr. Byron’s wife. And yet, she pulled herself together and let the whole world know where she stood with her husband after he was caught cheating as she removed his last name from her Facebook page. She told the world she was moving on, and proudly so. Ms. Cadot’s husband, Andrew Cabot, CEO of Privateer Rum, has been keeping a low profile since the scandal broke the internet.

But of course, Mr. Byron and Ms. Cabot aren’t the first-ever cheating scandal there ever was. Before them, there was the Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss affair scandal. The affair, dubbed “Scandoval,” was a high-profile cheating scandal that unfolded during the filming of Vanderpump Rules season 10. Tom Sandoval, who was in a nearly nine-year relationship with Ariana Madix at the time of the affair, had been having an affair with Raquel Leviss. The affair was discovered after Madix found explicit messages and a sexual video between Sandoval and Leviss. The complete timeline involves:

• The affair: The affair reportedly began in August 2022, while Sandoval was still with Madix. 

• Discovery: Madix found evidence of the affair after discovering a sexual video and inappropriate texts between Sandoval and Leviss. 

• Initial reactions: Madix was reportedly “completely blindsided” by the revelation and devastated. Sandoval initially tried to downplay the affair, claiming it was a one-night stand, but later admitted to the affair’s duration. 

• Public response: The scandal caused a major uproar, with fans and fellow cast members condemning Sandoval and Leviss’ actions. 

• “Scandoval”: The scandal became widely known as “Scandoval,” and the Vanderpump Rules season 10 reunion focused heavily on the fallout from the affair. 

• Sandoval and Leviss’s perspectives: Sandoval has stated he felt a strong connection with Leviss, while Leviss acknowledged the affair was a mistake and that she should have removed herself from the situation. She also expressed curiosity about physical intimacy with someone she loved as a friend. 

• Impact on relationships: The affair led to the end of Sandoval’s relationship with Madix and strained his friendships with other cast members. 

The entire thing was absolutely crazy. Like, f*cking insane craziness unfolded throughout the affair and the aftermath. Raquel was Ariana’s best friend; or she was supposed to be her best friend. Ariana trusted her. She trusted the person who claimed to be her best friend with everything she had. At one point, there was a time between the two where Ariana confided in Raquel on her relationship with Tom, and all the while, Raquel was having a full blown affair with him. Raquel slept with Tom while Ariana was out of town for her grandmother’s funeral. She was f*cking him in Ariana’s place, in Ariana’s bed.

Sandoval said of his first hookup with Raquel, which happened in August 2022 after a See You Next Tuesday event when they were locked out of his house with Ariana, ‘We just kissed. It was magnetic. We were talking, moving closer, and as we were talking, as time went on, we would just start talking closer and closer, and then all of a sudden, we’re kissing. That’s what started something. … And then we backed off, but then … we have a fire pit and a thing. Yeah. And it was kind of … yeah.’

Before the affair had unfolded, Ariana did nothing but praise Raquel, particularly for her character and loyalty. Raquel later took both Ariana and Tom to court for revenge porn. As previously mentioned, Ariana found out about the affair when she saw a video of her then-partner and then-best-friend hooking up. According to Ariana, the video wasn’t shared with anyone but Raquel, but that wasn’t what the lawsuit stated. Ariana’s lawyers stated, ‘In fact, Ms. Madix could not have shared such footage because Mr. Sandoval deleted it from her phone within minutes of Ms. Madix confronting him—a fact Ms. Madix stated in writing 33 minutes after sending the videos to [Leviss].’

Shortly after the truth had unfolded, Ariana started dating Daniel Wai, a fitness influencer. According to Ariana herself, Daniel ‘opened my eyes to a lot of different possibilities.’ That included changing her mind about having children. She said in a confessional on Vanderpump Rules, ‘In retrospect, Tom being my partner affected my feelings on having kids a lot more than I thought it did. I feel like with Dan, I’ve kind of had my eyes open to the fact that there are different types of partners out there who would actually be a real 50/50 partner, or if I can only give 10% that day, he’s ready to give 90.’ She’s greatly leveraged from the scandal and has garnered a significant career boost. She’s leveraged the public’s support and her newfound popularity into various opportunities, including Dancing With the Stars, Broadway’s Chicago, and hosting Love Island USA. She also released a cocktail book, “Single AF Cocktails,” and partnered with brands like Duracell and BIC. Additionally, she and Katie Maloney launched Something About Her merchandise early, capitalizing on the public’s support, and are planning to open a sandwich shop. 

Since the scandal broke, Raquel has been lying low, especially in comparison to Ariana and Tom. She entered a mental health facility for treatment in April 2023, a decision her family had made before the affair was revealed. She’s now sober and puts all her focuses on fitness, including hot yoga, Pilates, and hiking. She chose not to return to Vanderpump Rules after the 10th season, and is instead pursuing wellness practices, including sound bath practitioner training, and has already held her first professional sound bath. She has also started a podcast, Rachel Goes Rogue, where she’s publicly discussed the affair, acknowledging her mistakes, expressing remorse, and reflecting on the impact it had on others, including her friendships, as well as her healing journey since the cheating scandal.

As of the publishing of this blog post, Tom is in a new relationship with Victoria Lee Robinson. He’s faced intense public criticism and scrutiny. In the years since, he’s acknowledged the affair’s impact, describing it as a period where he felt lost and out of control. While acknowledging the mistakes, he also expressed a desire to move on and be seen as more than just a reality TV personality, particularly as a musician. He’s apologized, taken accountability, and is working on personal growth through therapy. His girlfriend has also received criticism and hate from the public by association. He’s no longer on Vanderpump Rules, but has been keeping busy nonetheless. He’s been touring the U.S. with his cover band; he’s starred in other reality shows, such as Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test and America’s Got Talent; and he co-owns a restaurant with former co-star, Tom Schwartz.

I recently wished a friend of mine a happy birthday. I wished the same things I wished for everyone – love, light, joy, health, happiness. But there was one other thing I wished for her – and that was for her to always get what she wanted, but to also remember that if she didn’t, then it might’ve not been meant for her to begin with. My wish for her had everything to do with how her life turned out; by her not being able to have children even though she tried so hard to get there. Instead, I see her working on her career, getting ahead in her life, in love with her husband. It’s so lovely to witness how beautiful her life turned out, and it made me think that maybe she wasn’t meant to have children like she wanted. It made me think that maybe, just maybe, not being able to have children was the best thing that ever happened for her.

The exact same thing, I feel, could be said about how Ariana’s life had turned out. In hindsight, not having children with Tom was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to Ariana. She wasn’t meant to spend the rest of her life with someone like Tom; someone who didn’t value her worth. She finally found that in Daniel. Maybe that’s the person she was always meant to be with, and Tom was just someone who was meant to be there temporarily. Maybe he’d overstayed his welcome in her life by a little bit; or maybe even a lot. No matter the case, what was meant to happen happened.

No one ever wishes to be cheated on, but trust me when I say that sometimes, being cheated on can rent up being the best thing that ever happened to you. I was cheated on before. Never by a longterm partner like Ariana or (the former) Mrs. Byron. But nonetheless, I was cheated on. It changed me entirely. It changed the course of my life; or at least, my dating life. Cheating became a sort of normalcy; something that was almost expected from anyone I’ve ever dated. With the exception of my husband, it’s exactly what happened. That was partially why I never got too close to anyone. Emotionally, I was numb to the thought of ever being in love. As someone who was cheated on:

• You start to doubt the foundation of love, trust, and its possibility to exist. 

• You doubt yourself, and you suspect your self-esteem. 

• You drown deeper into low self-esteem and self-worth.

When I consistently was cheated on, the question that was on my mind was, ‘Will I ever be good enough for someone?’ I became good enough for the person that eventually became my husband. Many people were confused by it – his family included. Most notably, my father-in-law was confused by it. He did everything possible to put an end to the relationship, but alas, to no avail.

When I met my husband, I questioned whether I was lovable to begin with. As he courted me, I found it hard to take him seriously. I was looking for flaws. I was looking for something to go awfully wrong. I was looking for signs of him playing me and doing me wrong. But there was none of it. From the very beginning, there was absolutely zero bullsh*t in our relationship. He knew exactly what he wanted and he wasn’t going to let that go so easily. He wasn’t going to allow any outside noise destroy what he could have with me – no matter what it cost him. He wasn’t patient with me. He was kind to me. He was everything I never thought I could have for myself in a partner.

Just recently, I was celebrating my birthday with friends. One friend brought his girlfriend along that I only met once beforehand. She and I got along great. I might’ve even liked her more than I liked my friend. Then, however, she decided to open her mouth more than she should’ve and (very bluntly, might I add) told to my face that my husband didn’t treat me right. At that very moment, I didn’t know whether I wanted to burst into laughter or have my ‘Mean Girls’ moment and burst into absolute flames and anger.

I decided that all I could possibly do at that moment was LOL. She had so much to learn, still. It wasn’t like she knew much of anything about my relationship. She based her statement solely based on the fact that my husband and I didn’t show much PDA throughout the day. But a relationship – a real relationship- is so much more than just a public display of affection. A relationship is more than just about being in love; ridiculously in love. Instead, a relationship, a long lasting one, is about two people not giving up on each other.

Different people cheat for different reasons. As the people who were cheated on, we have to come to terms that what the other person did to us isn’t on us, but on them. I was on the other side of spectrum myself. I was cheated on someone; on multiple people, actually. It wasn’t on anyone but myself. None of it was a mistake or a lie. None of it was done out of spite. None of it was out of the blue. It just was…

Cheating was just something that I did. I did it because I wanted to. There was never a distinct explanation for it. Again, cheating became somewhat of a normalcy for me, and it went both ways – as the one being cheated on and the one who’s doing the cheating. That was until my husband came into the picture. From the very beginning, he made it very clear to me that he wasn’t one to tolerate cheating; that he could forgive many things, but that wasn’t one of them. I knew I didn’t want to lose him. So I didn’t. I didn’t cheat. It wasn’t meant to be some proud moment for me to show off. But it was most certainly something that was new for me. It was a new feeling; one where every time there was an issue or a conflict, I didn’t run off to have sex with someone else; one where every time there was an issue or a conflict, my partner and I talked things through and didn’t stop until we did.

Experts say that this painful experience can be an opportunity for growth. I wholeheartedly support this view. Akua Boateng, a licensed psychologist, said, ‘While there are no direct positives to the act of cheating, it illuminates areas of the relationship that are in trouble. And it also provides an opportunity to seek the unspoken truth about desire and need in the partnership.’ The discovery of infidelity can lead you to bigger, better things; things that wouldn’t have been on your radar otherwise. And if a couple chooses to stay together following an infidelity, it can bring them closer together. It can lead them to wanting to work harder on themselves and their relationship.

In a nutshell, no matter what two people in a relationship choose to do in a relationship following an infidelity, their lives will be forever changed – both together as a couple and as individuals. That change isn’t necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it could be a good thing; the best thing. No matter what the circumstances might be following an infidelity, one thing remains true: it forces you to take matters into your own hands. It forces you to do the work. It forces you take risks and turn your pain into resilience.

I’ve been with my husband for almost 15 years. I won’t sugarcoat anything and say things have been smooth sailing. They haven’t been; not always. Even without cheating involved, it hasn’t always been easy. Relationships are anything but easy. But they’re worth it; the good ones, at least. One of the many things my relationship with my husband taught me was the art of communication and how important it is to ALWAYS communicate with your partner. Effective communication is crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships. It allows individuals to express their needs and feelings, understand each other, and resolve conflicts constructively. When communication is strong, it fosters intimacy, trust, and a sense of connection between partners. To look at it in a more thorough manner:

1. Fosters Understanding and Connection: 

• Open and honest communication allows individuals to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, leading to a deeper understanding of each other. 

• It helps partners recognize and respond to each other’s needs, fostering a sense of empathy and connection. 

• When partners feel heard and understood, it strengthens the emotional bond between them. 

2. Facilitates Conflict Resolution: 

• Effective communication helps couples navigate disagreements and find common ground, even during challenging times. 

• It allows for the constructive expression of needs and feelings, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings and resentment. 

• By communicating openly, couples can work together to resolve conflicts in a healthy and productive manner. 

3. Builds Trust and Intimacy: 

• Open and honest communication is essential for building trust in a relationship. 

• When partners feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings, it fosters intimacy and closeness. 

• Healthy communication can also strengthen intimacy by creating a space for open dialogue about desires and expectations. 

4. Strengthens the Relationship: 

• Consistent and effective communication helps couples navigate relationship challenges and maintain a strong bond over time. 

• It allows partners to address issues proactively and work together to strengthen their connection. 

• By prioritizing communication, couples can cultivate a more fulfilling and lasting relationship. 

5. Addresses Potential Problems Early: 

• Open communication allows individuals to express concerns or dissatisfactions early on, preventing issues from escalating. 

• It enables couples to address potential problems before they damage the relationship. 

• By proactively communicating, couples can work together to find solutions and maintain a healthy relationship. 

Before cheating ever crossed my mind in my relationship with my husband; before even looking or thinking of someone else in my relationship ever crossed my mind, I’d always communicate with my husband; because I knew that if it ever did get to that point, then something was obviously wrong in our relationship, and that something needed to be worked on. In essence, communication is the fundamental principle of a healthy relationship. This alone has helped us connect with one another on a much deeper level. No matter how difficult an issue might be, both of us know that having an open communication with one another is what makes our relationship stronger.

Communication it itself is so powerful. In no way am I saying that communication alone will stop your partner from cheating. At the end of the day, if someone wants to cheat on you, they WILL cheat on you. But you also have to know that you did absolutely everything you possibly could to make it work with the other person. No matter what, opening your heart to someone you love is a risk, but it’s a risk worth taking. I know that no matter what happens between me and my husband, our love and what we’ve shared together is something I won’t ever regret experiencing. Someone once said of cheating, ‘Most people cheat because they’re paying more attention to what they’re missing rather than what they have.’

My husband had many opportunities to cheat on me. I, as well, had many opportunities to cheat on him. But we didn’t. We didn’t because we’re committed to our family, our life together, and everything we’ve built together. We’ve spent almost 15 years building a relationship between the two of us; one that’s built on trust, loyalty, and appreciation. Both of us understand how easy it is to lose all that, and we’re not going anywhere. No matter how hard it gets between us, were won’t ever give up on one another. Cheating is the easy way out, and we won’t take that.