Marlee Matlin: What The Response To Her Abuse Allegations Against William Hurt Tells Us About How Society Views Female Survivors – And How Society And The Court System Have Failed To Protect Women

In 2009, Marlee Matlin bravely opened up about the abuse she’d endured at the hands of her ex-boyfriend, William Hurt, whom she dated for two years in the 80’s after meeting on the set of Children of a Lesser God, the 1986 drama which won her an Academy Award. The abuse was something she heavily detailed in her memoir, I’ll Scream If I Want To. She stated that when she won an Oscar in 1987 for her lead performance, which was presented to her by Hurt, she was afraid. It wasn’t because she won over legends like Jane Fonda, Sissy Spacek, and Kathleen Turner, but that she was afraid to have to face her then-boyfriend at such close proximity. By that point, he’d already began to abuse her. But at the ceremony, he’d already put on a facade of a supportive boyfriend, even signed her name.

Matlin, who’s deaf, said in an interview for The Guardian, ‘I was afraid as I walked up the stairs to get the Oscar… I was afraid because I knew, in my gut, that he wasn’t that happy.’ And it was only when she went to rehab, something Hurt suggested she’d do, that she truly understood the severity of what she’d endured. She said, ‘There were a lot of things I learned in rehab that pointed to things not being right. The physical abuse and verbal abuse, the mental and emotional abuse was not right. I learned that there.’

Matlin also spoke of the backlash she faced for her abuse claims against Hurt when he passed away in 2022. In the same interview, she said, ‘On social media, I had to look at both sides of the conversations. They were trying to define me, and I would have none of that. I wanted them to stop, but at the same time, I decided to step away from the conversation. Nothing would satisfy these people,” she said, “and why should I have to? I didn’t trust what would happen if I did get involved, because of my past experience of being ignored, of being overlooked, not getting any help. But it was interesting to observe, to see the two factions fighting about me thinking that they knew me.’

Following the release of Marlon’s 2009 memoir, Hurt released a statement which read, ‘My own recollection is that we both apologized and both did a great deal to heal our lives. Of course, I did and do apologize for any pain I caused. And I know we both have grown. I wish Marlee and her family nothing but good.’ Of course. Of course he’d say that. It was no surprise that he’d downplay that hurt, pain, and suffering that he caused to the woman he claimed to have loved. That’s just what abusers do. It’s the perfect psychology of gaslighting, where the abuser rationalizes the abusive behavior in order to reduce his feelings of self-directed guilt. He excuses the behavior by blaming the victim. Blaming the victim also allows the abuser to continue the behavior without accepting responsibility. There are several personality traits abusers showcase. The 5 include:

• Low self-esteem.

• A belief in patriarchal (often called “traditional”) gender roles, or the belief that men are superior to women as human beings.

• A sense that others “owe” them whatever it is they want.

• Frequent oversensitivity.

• Unrealistic expectations of intimate relationships and partners.

Matlin described her abusive ex as having shown such personality traits throughout their two year relationship. In 1986, the year before she herself won an Oscar, Hurt won an Oscar for Best Actor for his performance in Kiss of the Spider Woman. When Matlin won her own Oscar for her performance that marked her acting debut, she was transformed into the youngest woman to win an Oscar in that category, as well as the first deaf woman to do so. OF COURSE he’d feel threatened by her success.

In my previous blog entry, I made an emphasis that those in positions of power seek vulnerability in their victims. While the subject matter discussed there were teachers and coaches in positions of power over their students, this could very much be the case in romantic relationships. Matlin being deaf made a factor in her vulnerability. A study found that 16% of women with a long-term illness or disability had experienced domestic abuse compared to 6.8% of non-disabled women. 8% of men with a long-term illness or disability had experienced domestic abuse compared to 3.2% of non-disabled men.

Being vulnerable means being in a position where other people can hurt you. Oftentimes, means expressing the sides of yourself in which you have the least confidence or certainty, and allowing others to respond to them. A vulnerable person is someone in need of special care, support, or protection because of their age, disability or personal circumstances. Marlee Matlin, in her relationship with William Hurt, was considered to be vulnerable because of her deafness, her gender, inexperience, and age. In my own previous relationships, if you could even call it that, I was considered to be vulnerable due to my gender, age, inexperience, as well as my cerebral palsy condition.

In my years of being a teenager, adolescent, and a young woman, I’ve been seen as weak, incapable, and less than. I was an easy target for abuse. Even long after getting together with my husband, I’ve been an easy target for abuse. I heavily discuss my sexual trauma on this blog, with my first time having sex being at the hands of my rapist. It was someone I knew and trusted; someone I thought was my friend. I was also sexually assaulted before that; with the first time being when I was just 13 years old. My parents didn’t know about any of it happening. I was sexually assaulted numerous times after having been in a longstanding relationship with my husband, as well as have been almost raped as well by a friend of a friend that was getting too handy with me. It happened right in front of my husband, and if he weren’t there, I probably would’ve ended up in a very same position I was in when I first had sex.

And yet, no matter how much pain, agony, and suffering I faced in my life, which included being physically assaulted on my own birthday by a boyfriend at the time, I always knew I was fortunate; that I was lucky to be alive. In Canada, an average of 102 women and girls are killed each year due to gender-related homicide, with a large majority of these cases involving intimate partners or family members. Between 2011 and 2021, there were a total of 1,125 such homicides. To look at it in a more detailed manner:

• Intimate Partner Violence: A significant portion (66%) of these homicides are committed by intimate partners. 

• Family Violence: Another substantial portion (28%) are committed by family members. 

Additional Information: 

• Gender-Related Homicides: This term refers to homicides where the victim’s gender was a key factor in the killing, often involving male perpetrators. 

• Prevalence: These homicides occur at a rate of about 0.54 per 100,000 women and girls. 

• Location: The majority (87%) of these homicides occur in the victim’s residence. 

Most violence against women is committed by current or former husbands or intimate partners. In the past several decades, there have been numerous women in the entertainment industry who’d been murdered by their partners. These include women like Dorothy Stratten, Dominique Dunn, Bonnie Lee Bakley, Marie Trintignant, Stephanie Moseley, Reeva Steenkamp, April Jace, and Jasmine Fiore. For the sake of this blog entry, we’ll be talking about a few of these women; the women who’ve changed the way domestic violence is handled by the courts, as well as the public.

Dorothy Stratten was a Canadian model and actress, primarily known for her appearances as a Playboy Playmate. She was murdered by her estranged husband, Paul Snider, on August 14, 1980 in a murder-suicide in the home they shared until their separation months earlier. Their naked bodies were found by Snider’s two roommates that evening. At the time of her death, Stratten was dating Peter Bogdanovich, who later married her sister Louise in 1988. At the time of their marriage, Louise was 20, and Bogdanovich was 49. They divorced in 2001. Stratten’s life, career, and murder inspired numerous movies, including ones that starred Jamie Lee Curtis and Eric Roberts, TV shows, books, and songs.

Dominique Dunne was an American actress. She made her on-screen debut with the television film Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker. Her parents were Dominick and Ellen “Lenny” Dunne. Her brothers, Griffin and Alex Dunne. Dominick was a crime journalist and covered the infamous Menendez brothers’ trial, which occurred over a decade after his daughter’s death. After Dominique got her career beginnings in 1979, she went on to star in other popular 1980s shows like Lou Grant, Family, Hart to Hart and Fame. Her rise to fame came in 1982’s Poltergeist, and she was set to star in the sequel as well before her death. At the time of her death, Dominique was filming the miniseries, V, which was released the following year in her memory. She played a woman who’d been physically abused by her partner. The bruises and marks seen around her eyes weren’t made with the magic of makeup. Instead, they were real marks and bruises made at the hands of her real-life partner.

Dominique met John Sweeney at a party in 1981. They had a whirlwind romance, and only within a few weeks of dating, they’d already rented a house together. Soon after, their relationship became violent. The actress broke things off with him in September 1982 after a domestic dispute in which he’d strangled her and after hearing gagging sounds, a neighbour intervened. A month later, while running lines with actor David Packer, Sweeney came to her door unannounced. She met him outside the house while Packer stayed indoors. Their conversation turned violent, which led Packer to call the police. Sweeney strangled Dominique to the point of unconsciousness. He then confessed he’d killed her. He said, ‘I killed my girlfriend, and I tried to kill myself. I f—– up…I can’t believe I did something that will put me behind bars forever…Man, I blew it. I killed her. I didn’t think I choked her that hard. I just kept on choking her.’ Dominque was declared brain dead after arriving at the hospital and passed away five days later, on November 4, 1982.

What followed was absolutely tragic, especially for Dominique’s loved ones. Sweeney was charged with first-degree murder, to which he pleaded not guilty. In court, Sweeney’s lawyers argued that the chef had not planned to hurt Dominique, and that he acted in the heat of the moment. The judge then granted Sweeney’s attorney’s request to change the charge to second-degree murder or manslaughter as the court lacked sufficient evidence to try him for first-degree murder since predetermination was not established. Sweeney was ultimately acquitted charges of second-degree murder, with the jury finding him guilty of voluntary manslaughter and assault for the September incident. Sweeney was sentenced to six and a half years in prison, of which he served two and a half. In the aftermath of his release, Sweeny was hired as a chef at a highly-rated restaurant in Santa Monica, Calif. When they heard the news, Dominique’s family stood outside the restaurant where he worked and protested, handing out flyers that read, ‘The food you will eat tonight was cooked by the hands that killed Dominique Dunne.’ Sweeny eventually quit his position and changed his name. Domick Dunne worked as a journalist thereafter, and Griffin still works as an actor.

Then there was Jasmine Fiore. She was murdered at the hands of her husband, reality star Ryan Jenkins, who appeared on Megan Wants A Millionaire, in 2009. She strangled and stuffed into a suitcase. Her remains had been mutilated to prevent recognition. She was eventually identified by the serial numbers of her breast implants. When she was found, her body was badly beaten and crushed inside a suitcase, in a dumpster in an alley. She died a couple of hours before her body was found. There was also blood in her car that was found by police, as well as evidence of hair pulling.

The couple married five months prior and had several domestic violence instances throughout the time leading up to the murder. Fiore’s mother claimed that the two fought frequently, and that Jenkins was jealous of Fiore’s friendships with her ex-boyfriends. Jenkins’ father said that Fiore was his son’s only friend in California, and that she would disappear for days at a time and lie about it to his son.

Jenkins was actually the one who reported Fiore missing August 15 at 8:55 p.m. He told police that he last saw Fiore about 8:30 p.m on August 14 at their home on Edinburgh Avenue, Los Angeles. Jenkins said they had gone to San Diego for a poker event and that after returning, she dropped him off that evening, left to do errands, and never returned. After he made the report to the police, Jenkins was seen leaving their penthouse for the last time and left for Nevada. He was then seen in British Colombia, having checked in in a motel by his half-sister. The manager of the motel saw Jenkins walking outside the motel the next day, August 21, and said Jenkins looked exhausted, unrecognizable from his picture on television on news outlets seen when reporting of his wife’s murder. Having noticed very little activity over that weekend, the motel manager and his nephew decided to check on the room. Jenkins was found dead of an apparent suicide. police found a document saved on Jenkins’ computer titled, ‘Last Will and Testament,’ which was dated August 20, 2009. Jenkins was the only suspect of Fiore’s murder. His mother refuses to believe that he did it. Following his death, it was revealed that he was previously charged with assaulting his wife, as well as for assaulting another woman two years prior.

Fiore’s death changed everything about reality TV. VH1 and 51Minds stated that Jenkins’ criminal record didn’t appear on his background check. Though Jenkins was never violent on the set of Megan Wants a Millionaire or I Love Money 3, which he won, the fact that he murdered Fiore so soon after filming two reality shows inextricably linked his crime to the booming TV genre. The question remained – were reality TV shows doing enough to keep contestants safe? Mark Cronin, co-founder of 51 Minds Entertainment, the production company behind Money, Megan, The Surreal Life, and the majority of VH1’s wildly successful reality shows, said of having Jenkins be part of the production, ‘He kept telling her on the phone, ‘I’m going to win this, and you and I are going to have the life I’ve always promised’. Then he would ask her, ‘Where were you last night?’ Because he’s in Mexico shooting the show, and she lives in Las Vegas. He was very jealous and very suspicious of her. We were actually making a story of it on the show. We were like, ‘Look at this guy, he’s obsessed with this [model] he married’. It was funny, until it wasn’t funny at all. It’s the worst thing to ever happen to me in my career. When something comes that close to home, that’s a really scary thing.’

Before 2009, there was no specific way to determine what standard system was to take place to accept contestants on shows. Today, more than a decade later, the specific process varies by network and production company. No matter the case, contestants have to fill out forms which detail such information as every address they’ve ever had, every job they’ve ever had, and other details such as mortgage and car. Then comes the psychological evaluation, which includes written testing, a psychiatric history, and an interview with a psychologist. The other key component is the criminal background check, which involves, in part, searching court and arrest records in every county a candidate has ever lived. It’s safe to say that producers and everyone else involved in production takes the pre-screening process of the contestants we see on TV today very seriously.

Next comes Reeva Steenkamp. She was a South African model and paralegal. She modelled for FHM magazine and was the first face of Avon cosmetics in South Africa. She once worked as the live roaming presenter for FashionTV in South Africa and starred in television advertisements for Toyota Land Cruiser, Clover Industries, Redds and Aldor Pin Pop. She was a celebrity contestant on the BBC Lifestyle show Baking Made Easy in 2012 and on Tropika Island of Treasure season 5 which aired on SABC 3 in February 2013.

Also that February, Steenkamp passed away. She was killed by her boyfriend, Oscar Pistorius, a South African double amputee and a former professional sprinter. Both of his legs were amputated below the knee when he was 11 months old as a result of a congenital defect; he was born missing the outsides of both feet and both fibulas. He was the 10th athlete to compete at both the Paralympic Games and Olympic Games. Pistorius ran in both nondisabled sprint events and in sprint events for below-knee amputees. His career ended when he was convicted of Steenkamp’s murder. The couple began dating in 2012.

Pistorius shot Steenkamp in his home. He claimed he had mistaken Steenkamp for an intruder hiding in the bathroom. He was arrested and charged with murder. The following year, he was found not guilty of murder, but guilty of culpable homicide. He received a five-year prison sentence for culpable homicide and a concurrent three-year suspended sentence for a separate reckless endangerment conviction both in October 2014. The following year, he was released on house arrest. while the case was presented on appeal to a panel at the Supreme Court of Appeal of South Africa, which overturned the culpable homicide verdict and convicted him of murder. In 2016, the judge responsible for the case extended Pistorius’s sentence to six years. On appeal by the state for a longer prison sentence, the Supreme Court of Appeal increased the prison term to a total of 15 years less time served. After serving 8.5 years, Pistorius was released on January 5, 2024, in addition to seven months’ house arrest.

While discussing real-life events that happened to real people, I was reminded of a particular reel-life event seen on TV. It was seen on Waterloo Road, a British television show; one which I also wrote about in my previous blog entry. It was one that had to do with Maxine Barlow. She was murdered in her home at the hands of Earl Kelly. This tragic event occurred in Series 4, Episode 8, when Earl, enraged after Maxine ended their relationship, broke into the home she shared with Steph, Maxine’s teacher, guardian and parental figure, with a gun. Maxine and Janeece, Maxine’s best friend who was with her to help plan an apology meal for Stephen, attempted to disarm him, but Earl shot Maxine in the stomach. He then fled the scene and was later apprehended and sentenced to life in prison. The school community was deeply affected by her death, with Rachel and Steph feeling a sense of responsibility. I’d like to also add what a great friend Janeece was at that moment. She left the home when Earl threatened her life, but went back inside, knowing full well there was a gun and that she could’ve been killed herself, to try to save her friend. Sadly to no avail. Maxine died in Janeece’s arms. Steph came home just in time for her to say goodbye.

So what do all these cases tell us about the public and the court system? We, as a society, are too quick to judge women. We’re too quick to not believe them; too quick to dismiss them; too quick to belittle them. As a society, we’re not claiming responsibility to protect them from suffering; from the people that harm them. And so is the court system. Women are meant to believe that they should feel guilt and shame for the actions done at the hands of others who harm them. In 1979, Lenore Edna Walker came up with the term, ‘battered woman syndrome.’ The term is used to describe ‘the pattern of the signs and symptoms that have been found to occur after a woman has been physically, sexually, and/or psychologically abused in an intimate relationship, when the partner (usually, but not always a man) exerted power and control over the woman to coerce her into doing whatever he wanted, without regard for her rights or feelings.’ The term is also used to describe abused men, especially in the legal system. Courts in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, and the United States have accepted the extensive and growing body of research showing that battered women can use force to defend themselves. This may include even killing their abusers because of the abusive, and sometimes life-threatening, situation in which they find themselves. Battered woman syndrome is not a legal defense in and of itself, but may legally constitute self-defense when using a reasonable and proportionate degree of violence in response to the abuse might appear the most appropriate defense but, until recently, it almost never succeeded. Research in 1996 in England found no case in which a battered woman successfully pleaded self-defense. It’s been argued that the term is gender-biased.

Charlize Theron and Halle Berry’s respective mothers murdered their abusive spouses in self-defense and didn’t see jail time for their actions. This was all thanks to the legal term taken into account in the court system. But…none of it was enough. The court system needs to do better. Society needs to do better. We need to start listening to women. We need to start believing women. We need to start protecting women. I’ll repeat this once more. In Canada, between 2011 and 2021, police reported 1,125 gender-related homicides of women and girls. Two-thirds (66%) of these were perpetrated by an intimate partner. While rates have generally declined since 2001, there was a 14% increase between 2020 and 2021. In 2021, the rate of gender-related homicide for Indigenous women was more than triple that of women overall. 

Key Statistics: 

• Intimate Partner Violence: More than 11 million people in Canada have experienced intimate partner violence since the age of 15, according to the Government of Canada. 

• Gender-Related Homicides: 1,125 women and girls were victims of gender-related homicide between 2011 and 2021. 

• Perpetrator:66% of gender-related homicides were committed by an intimate partner. 

• Indigenous Women:Indigenous women are disproportionately affected, with homicide rates more than triple that of non-Indigenous women. 

• Rural vs. Urban: Gender-related homicide rates are significantly higher in rural areas compared to urban areas. 

• Increase in 2021: There was a 14% increase in gender-related homicide rates between 2020 and 2021. 

• Lifetime Prevalence: 44% of women in Canada have experienced some form of abuse in their intimate partner relationships. 

• Fatal Violence: Every six days, a woman in Canada is murdered by her intimate partner, according to OurCommons.ca. 

• Underreporting: It’s important to note that these statistics may not fully capture the extent of domestic violence, as many cases go unreported. 

• Intersectionality: The data highlights the intersection of gender-based violence with other factors, such as Indigenous identity and socioeconomic status. 

• Global Perspective: Globally, 38% of all murders of women are committed by intimate partners, according to the World Health Organization. 

Enough is enough!