Shannon Price: A Living Proof That Domestic Violence Isn’t Just A ‘Woman’s Issue’ – A Compelling Breakdown Of Violence Against Men

In 2010, everyone who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s were rocked by the news of the passing of Gary Coleman, who played the lovable Arnold Jackson in Diff’rent Strokes. More than 10 years prior to that, in 1999, Dana Plato, who played his sister Kimberly Drummond, died. The show also starred Conrad Bain as Phillip Drummond and Todd Bridges as Willis Jackson, as well as Charlotte Rae as the kind, funny and witty Edna Garrett before she moved on to star in her own spinoff series, The Facts Of Life.

We’ll talk more about Dana Plato, I promise. For now, though, I want to put all my focus on Coleman’s untimely passing. Shannon Price, Coleman’s ex-wife, made headlines recently when she failed a lie doctor test for her behavior following the 2010 fall that resulted in the former child star’s death on A&E’s Lie Detector: Truth or Deception.

Price and Coleman married in 2007 after meeting in 2005, and though they divorced a year later, the pair remained living together until his death. She infamously removed him from life support, resulting in his death, after he was in a medically induced coma following a fall. In the 2024 Peacock documentary, Gary, Price said, ‘I would never hurt my husband, ever.’ Coleman’s friends and loved ones, such as former girlfriend Anna Gray and friend/manager Dion Mial, have publicly questioned Price’s actions and motives.

First, there was Price’s resistance to immediately following his fall, as captured in a 911 call, in which she refused to help put pressure on his wound as she didn’t “want to be traumatized right now.”, which followed by her takin him off of life support. Mial claimed that Coleman had an advanced healthcare directive where he stated he wanted at least two weeks of care before any plugs were pulled, so there was no reason for Price to decide to do what she did unless there was something in it for her. Then, there was the fact that there’d been a history of domestic abuse against PriceColeman had a restraining order against her, and prior to that, she was arrested suspicion of domestic violence, criminal mischief, and disorderly conduct following an argument in which Price reportedly locked Coleman out of their home and began trashing his belongings.

When she sought to be named the sole beneficiary of his estate, a judge ruled against it after hearing the testimony of multiple witnesses who claimed Price abused Coleman in public. While she denied she ever physically assaulted Coleman during her appearance in Lie Detector: Truth or Deception, she did admit to slapping him a couple of times when she was interviewed by the makers of Gary. When she was confronted of her contradictory statements, Price said, ‘I was so pressured into saying certain things, they just kept forcing me to say this, and this, and this, so I just finally said, ‘Okay, I’ll say it’. There always needs to be a bad guy, so since legally I am the ex-wife, that falls on me. I was the one there that day when he fell. I was the only one that was in his life at that time. No one was around, and everyone that was around just wanted a piece of the pie, they didn’t care about his well-being, period.’

Of the lie detector test findings, Price insisted that they were false. George Olivo, who conducted the test, insisted otherwise. He told Price head on, ‘There’s two things I know for sure, Shannon. One, you were not completely honest with me yesterday during this polygraph session, and two, the one thing I know that’s 100 percent certain is that there is more to this story that hasn’t been told. The body never lies. The body always tells the truth, and your body on that lie detector test spoke loud and clear.’

Coleman’s 2005 will named Gray as the sole beneficiary, but Price claimed a handwritten amendment in 2007 named her as the sole heir. Price argued that she and Coleman had entered into a common-law marriage after their 2008 divorce, which would have made her the rightful heir. The court ultimately ruled in favor of Gray, finding no common-law marriage existed between Coleman and Price after their divorce, and therefore, the 2007 amendment was invalid. 

In my previous post, we discussed intimate partner violence. Moreover, we discussed gender-biased violence against women, and how society and the court system are failing women in domestic violence cases. And while we’re on that front, I’d like to add another man who’d murdered his wife to that discussion – Chris Benoit. He was a beloved and well-known wrestler who worked from the ‘80s to the mid 2000’s. He was a champion. On June 22, 2007 he murdered his wife Nancy by strangulation and he also strangled their 7-year-old son to death. Two days later, he hanged himself. It was then determined that he had a brain of an 85-year-old man with dementia. The murders were almost methodical, not rage-induced, CNN reported. Benoit’s wife was bound by the wrists and feet. She was wrapped in a blanket. His son was found face down on his bed, most likely killed with a chokehold. Bibles were found next to both their bodies. And to kill himself, Benoit used a cord on a weight machine he had in his house.

On the flip side, there was the murder of Phil Hartman, perhaps best known for his versatility on Saturday Night Live, where he played Bill Clinton and characters ranging from the unfrozen caveman lawyer to an unhinged Frank Sinatra. Rolling Stone ranked him #7 out of all 145 cast members. He also appeared on such television shows like Seinfeld and The Simpsons. His wife, Brynn, was also an actress, not quite as well-known as he was. On the outside, they were the perfect couple; together for 10 years and two kids to show for it. But on May 28, 1998, Brynn fatally shot Phil, and then herself. To this day, no one really knows why she did it, but it appeared that the two had a rough marriage and had gotten into an argument about Brynn’s cocaine and alcohol use on the night of the murder.

The murder-suicide was a shock to many. The entire nation was deeply devastated. According to those who knew the couple personally, the warning signs were clear. Many comedians are known to have dark personal lives. That’s why they turn to comedy. They want to make other people laugh because they’re hurting inside and they seek validation in others. Phil Hartman’s story, was a tragic tale that was never supposed to happen in the first place. He was the fourth of eight children in a devout Catholic family. Yet with so many siblings vying for their parent’s love, Hartman found it difficult to earn attention and affection. He said, ‘I suppose I didn’t get what I wanted out of my family life, so I started seeking love and attention elsewhere.’ He discovered his passion for comedy in his college years, while studying graphic arts as l he began attending classes with the comedy group The Groundlings in 1975. In a 2014 biography, You Might Remember Me, Phil Hartman was remembered by as follows: ‘As Mike Thomas tells it, Hartman was instantly good, a performer whose ‘utter commitment begat brilliance,’ an indispensable ‘utility player’ who could be ‘counted on in all scenarios.’ Comedic actor Jon Lovitz, also a Groundling at this time, considered Hartman a ‘big star,’ someone who could be told to play a shoe salesman and deliver something jaw-dropping: ‘Whatever he was going to imagine or say was nothing you could imagine or think of … He could do any voice, play any character, make his face look different without makeup. He was king of the Groundlings.’’

Phil was charismatic. He was a talent to be reckoned with. This led to more work opportunities. He even assisted fellow Groundling Paul Reubens to develop his now-iconic Pee-wee Herman character. It was during that time that he met his wife Brynn. She already had a history of abusing drugs and alcohol, but was sober when they met in 1985. In the 2014 documentary, Mike Thomas said, ‘When Phil met Brynn, he may well have been at his most vulnerable state in years—his second marriage’s ending had shaken him, and his performing career wasn’t taking off. Omdahl was strikingly beautiful, and the affections of a statuesque blonde may have bolstered Hartman’s deflated self-image. But their relationship was bumpy from the get-go.’

In the years that they were together, Phil’s career was taking off. He was getting more and more creative. He was getting the recognition that he so deserved for his hard working efforts. Brynn’s career was staggered. That being said, she began showing signs of an erratic behaviour. Friends attempted to warn Phil, but he didn’t listen. In fact, he cut out those who showed disapproval. One of those friends was Cassandra Peterson. When Phil confided in her that he’d planned to propose to Brynn, her response was, ‘Oh god, no!’ She was then asked to leave his office and the two never spoke again.

Phil’s ex-wife, Lisa Strain, stayed friends with the comedian despite the two of them getting divorced. When he and Brynn had their son, Strain congratulated the couple on their bundle of joy. But instead of a ‘thank-you’, she was met with a death threat from Brynn. This was nothing out of the ordinary for Brynn, however. And even though those who knew the couple personally knew of Brynn’s erratic nature, they didn’t know of her violent behaviour. This became true in the late 90’s, as Brynn’s health and substance abuse worsened. This culminated in Phil’s eventual death.

Both Phil and Brynn kept guns in their home. Brynn would often pick fights before bed, and Phil developed a routine where he’d pretend to be asleep as a way to avoid his wife’s abuse and her manic behavior. On the night of May 27th, 1998, Brynn Hartman had gone to dinner with a friend who had later said that she had been in “a good frame of mind”. After she returned home, Brynn was said to have argued with Phil. Phil, on the other hand, was angered with Brynn for having hit their daughter when she was under the influence the previous night, and he threatened to leave her. It was just before 3 AM that night that Brynn shot Phil between the eyes, in the throat, and in the chest. She was intoxicated and had just snorted cocaine. In a state of shock, Brynn Hartman quickly left the house and drove to visit a friend, Ron Douglas, where she confessed to the killing. Possibly due to the fact that Brynn Hartman was prone to dramatic and manic outbursts, her friend didn’t initially believe her admission. Both then drove back to Hartman’s house and upon seeing Hartman lying shot to death in the couple’s bed, Douglas called 911. Before police arrived, Brynn locked herself in the bedroom and shot herself with the same gun she killed her husband with.

While women experience violence at higher rates overall, violence against men is a significant issue with its own unique characteristics. Men experience high rates of violence in certain age groups and contexts, such as intimate partner violence (IPV) and violence by other men. Men may also be less likely to report violence due to stigma and societal expectations. To break things down more thoroughly:

• Intimate Partner Violence: In Canada, men account for about 20% of intimate partner violence (IPV) cases reported to police. The rate of IPV reported by men has increased in recent years, while the rate reported by women has decreased. 

• Reporting Disparities: Men are less likely to report IPV to police, and when they do, they may be less likely to have the incident result in an arrest or police record. Some men report being treated as the perpetrator when they report violence. 

• Age and Victimization: In Canada, the rate of violent victimization for men is highest among those aged 25-34, and then generally declines with age. For women and girls, the peak rate is typically earlier, in the teenage and young adult years. 

• Sexual Violence: Men experience sexual violence, including rape, though at lower rates than women. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) reports that about 1 in 10 rape victims are male. 

• Same-Sex Relationships: In Canada, police-reported data show that an average of 2,300 incidents of IPV involving same-sex partners occur annually. 

• Stigma and Reporting: Stigma surrounding male victims of IPV can make it more difficult for men to report violence. 

Important Considerations: 

• Unique Experiences: Men may experience violence in ways that are distinct from women, such as greater likelihood of reciprocity or bi-directionality in physical violence within same-sex relationships. 

• Multiple Perpetrators: Studies have shown that women and men who experience IPV report similar numbers of abusive partners, with most indicating one partner is responsible for the abuse. 

• Context Matters: The context in which violence occurs, including the relationship between the victim and perpetrator and the type of violence experienced, can vary significantly for men and women. 

There’s no doubt in my mind that what Phil Hartman had gone through was Intimate Partner Violence at the hands of his wife, much like the wife and son of Chris Benoit at his hands. Did it make Phil Hartman’s death any less worthy because he was a man? No. But it did make it much more shocking. More often than not, when we think of domestic violence, we automatically assume that it’s the women who are the victims and the men are the attackers. It’s just not true; not anymore. It actually wasn’t ever the case that women were ALWAYS the victims.

According to the CDC, statistics show that more women are the victims of abuse than men. Findings from 7 years ago show that nearly 1 in 4 adult women and approximately 1 in 7 adult men report having experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime. 16% of women and 7% of men have experienced contact sexual violence from an intimate partner (this includes rape, being made to penetrate someone else, sexual coercion, and/or unwanted sexual contact). 10% of women and 2% of men report having been stalked by an intimate partner. Between 2018 and 2023, police-reported violent crime, family violence, and intimate partner violence all increased, with larger increases observed among men and boys in IPV. 

While it’s true that it’s more common for women to be victims of IPV, the fact of the matter is that women are just as capable of abusing men as men are of abusing women. And no, it’s not possible that a woman was provoked to hit her partner. There’s never an acceptable excuse for hitting someone. You have the right to physically defend yourself, if you are being attacked, but you absolutely never have the right to escalate a conflict into physical violence. It’s also crucial to understand that many people – women AND men – leave their abuse unreported. This is especially true in the cases of men being the victims of IPV. Phil Hartman, for one, was a victim of IPV at the hands of his wife Brynn. None of the abuse he’d endured at her hands was ever reported.

Many men feel great shame that they’ve been abused, been unable to stand up for themselves, or somehow failed in their role as a male, as a husband, or as a father. They feel it’s in their duty to be a ‘family man’ and to protect that image of a’perfect family’ that they’d portrayed for the outside world to see. One’s religious beliefs can dictate that a man stay. His self-worth is so low that might he feel this abusive relationship is all you deserve. Or it’s that the man wholeheartedly believe their partner can change; that she WILL change.

Phil Hartman obviously believed in his wife; so much so that he cut anyone who’d ever shown their dissatisfaction in her or disapproval in their union. I could certainly understand that testament. My husband did too. I know I endlessly keep saying on this blog that my husband stood by me through thick and think throughout our relationship l; even risking his relationship with his father and his entire family to be with ‘someone like’ me, and by that, I mean a cripple. That’s what my father-in-law has seen me as since the very day my husband introduced me to him as his girlfriend. But there’s more to it; much more to it.

You see, , too, have experienced anger issues and erratic behaviours – much like Brynn Hartman. And I, too, would pick fights with my husband, just like Brynn Hartman did with her husband. I’d pick fights at night before bed, in bed, in the mornings, in the middle of the day, and in the night. It didn’t matter to me where he was or what he was doing at that moment. I’d pick a fight when he was out with his friends; when he was at work; when he was at home doing his own thing. He could be taking a shower, eating breakfast, or even just sitting and breathing and I’d pick a fight out of complete nowhere; making something out of complete nonsense. It was getting out of control.

This unacceptable behaviour continued on for years, and it stemmed from the aftermath of the sexual trauma I’d endured. It’s not an excuse by any means. But it is a reason. Erratic behavior following a rape or sexual assault can stem from Rape Trauma Syndrome, a form of PTSD characterized by emotional, physical, and behavioral disruptions. These disruptions can manifest as intense mood swings, anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, and changes in eating patterns. Individuals may also experience flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of detachment or numbness. To break things down more thoroughly, common behavioural patterns and behaviours of a rape survivor may include:

• Emotional Dysregulation: Experiencing intense and unpredictable emotions, such as anger, anxiety, or numbness. 

• Withdrawal and Isolation: Pulling away from social interactions and activities. 

• Flashbacks and Intrusive Thoughts: Reliving the traumatic event through vivid memories or nightmares. 

• Avoidance: Actively trying to avoid situations, places, or people that trigger reminders of the assault. 

• Hypervigilance: Being overly alert and easily startled. 

• Changes in Sleep Patterns: Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing nightmares. 

• Changes in Eating Habits: Loss of appetite or overeating. 

• Self-Blame and Shame: Feeling responsible for the assault, which can hinder the healing process. 

• Substance Abuse: Turning to alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. 

• Dissociation: Feeling detached from one’s body or reality. 

Embarrassment, shame, and guilt were the three main emotions that took over my entire life – my entire being – since that night. I’d already experimented with sexual activities since I was 13 years old. Not idealistic, of course, but at least consensual. The night I was raped was the night everything changed for me. I lost my innocence. I lost my sense of self. I lost my will to live. Everything in my life became so dark and fragile.

For years, I pretended that night didn’t happen. It made things easier for a short period of time. The longer I refused to believe that night didn’t exist, the harder it became to for me to properly understand my trauma and its effects on my entire existence. The stress of it all was getting to me. Not just in the bedroom but anywhere else too; especially anywhere else. I wasn’t prepared for everything that was about to come. There was no guidebook in sight for me to read on how to cope.

My refusal to admit that I needed to work on myself and my healing journey brought me closer the verge of a complete mental breakdown. The people around me were the ones that were suffering the most from it. That included my husband. Our fights only escalated as time passed. And yes, the fights would get physical. In no way am I excusing that behaviour. In no way am I saying anything about that behaviour was right. Absolutely nothing about it was ever right.

It wasn’t until a particular fight my husband and I had that I finally saw the light; that I finally saw that I needed to make changes, or else I’d lose my family for good. It happened not too long ago, as of the publishing of this blog entry. My son was right there – watching and listening. Yet again, my husband did something wrong; at least in my silly little mind. It was something small; a simple mistake. In my head, however, it was a massive, unforgivable betrayal. There was uncontrollable screaming, telling, punching; even spitting. All that happened in front of my son. When I saw how his tiny, little, vulnerable heart react to my behaviour, I knew that I was going to have to take action. I knew I needed to take accountability and responsibility for the hurt that I’d caused; if not for myself, then for him. And my husband… he told me that if I didn’t, he’d divorce me. So I went to the doctor’s; demanded proper medication. Started working out on a daily basis. And more. As of now, things aren’t entirely perfect. But I’m working hard to make things right.

Waterloo Road was a heavy subject in the past few blog entries. The show was particularly discussed on the blog in the subject of abuse of power in the teaching profession. Let it be known that abuse of power doesn’t just happen at the hands of male teachers; but female too. Degrassi touched upon that scenario in the storyline between Sav and Ms. Oh’s relationship. Waterloo Road did too. It was a season 6 arc between Jonah and Francesca. The two began an affair which resulted in Francesca’s pregnancy. The affair was eventually discovered, causing scandal at the school. Despite the scandal, Francesca and Jonah eloped. Their marriage was short-lived, however, as the police were waiting for them after the ceremony and arrested Francesca. Jonah’s family subsequently removed him and his sister from Waterloo Road, leaving the future of Francesca and Jonah’s relationship unclear. The storyline was told in such a way that the audience would root for their union and find it acceptable, which it wasn’t.

Another storyline seen on the show was the one between Ronan and Vicki, a longtime couple. Unlike Francesca and Jonah, they had an age-appropriate relationship. Nevertheless, an unhealthy one. The two had their share of ups and downs. Vicki cheated and became pregnant by the other guy she cheated with. She ended up losing the baby. Ronan forgave her, and they went on with their relationship. He was desperate to make things work between them. In an effort to make it work, he got them an apartment to move into without even consulting Vicki first. He did so because he wanted to surprise her.

This move proved to be a great mistake. Ronan and Vicki were struggling, both individually and as a couple. This was especially true in Vicki’s case. She was stressed out of her mind preparing for a test which, in her mind, was a make-it-or-break-it when it came down to her future. Her life depended led on the results of that test. The stress of living independently while working hard on her schooling proved to be too much for Vicki. She was under a lot of pressure, and she was taking out a lot of her stress on Ronan. They began to fight more and more. Eventually, during one of their fights, Vicki became aggressive and physically assaulted Ronan. Thereafter, she moved in the wrong direction and hit herself against a pole, which resulted in her getting a black eye.

Automatically, it was assumed that Ronan was the one that hurt Vicki, when in reality, it was the other way around. Vicki didn’t just let anyone assume this about Ronan. She kept telling everyone that he didn’t hurt her, but no one believed her. They just didn’t believe it was possible that it could be another circumstance. The matter eventually was solved, much like other cases like this on the show. But it proved a point, and it’s that it’s harmful stereotype and a dangerous oversimplification to assume that men are always the abusers and women are always the victims in domestic violence situations. While statistics show that women are disproportionately affected by domestic violence, men can also be victims of abuse from their partners. To break it down more thoroughly:

Understanding the Misconception: 

• Gendered assumptions: There’s a common, but inaccurate, belief that domestic violence is inherently a “women’s issue” perpetrated by men. 

• Social stereotypes: Societal stereotypes about men as powerful and women as vulnerable can influence perceptions of abuse, making it harder for men to report or be believed when they are victims. 

• Lack of support for male victims: Men who experience domestic violence may face ridicule, shame, and a lack of resources and support, making it difficult for them to seek help. 

Prevalence of Men as Victims: 

• Beyond the stereotype: Research indicates that a significant number of men experience domestic violence, including physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, from their partners. 

• Bidirectional violence: Some studies suggest that bidirectional violence (where both partners are violent) is more common than unidirectional violence (where only one partner is violent). 

• Examples: Research has shown that men experience a range of abusive behaviors from their partners, including physical violence, controlling behavior, and emotional abuse. 

The Importance of Addressing the Issue: 

• Recognizing male victims: It’s crucial to acknowledge that men can be victims of domestic violence and to provide them with the support and resources they need. 

• Challenging stereotypes: Efforts to combat domestic violence should challenge the stereotype of the male abuser and the female victim. 

• Creating safe spaces: Creating safe spaces for men to report abuse without fear of judgment or ridicule is essential. 

• Promoting healthy relationships:Education and awareness campaigns can help promote healthy relationship dynamics and challenge harmful gender stereotypes. 

We initially started this blog entry off by talking about Gary Coleman’s turbulent relationship with his ex-wife, Shannon Price, and we’ll finish off with them too. It’s absolutely no secret that Coleman struggled with substance abuse throughout his life, and he himself had a history of being violent towards women. But this doesn’t change the fact that, too, could’ve been a victim of domestic violence. It doesn’t matter that Shannon Price is a woman. It doesn’t matter that she was only 22 years old when she married Coleman. What matters is that she could’ve abused him, and that abuse might’ve killed him.

No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors between two people in a union. I think we’ve proven that in this blog entry alone. And now, we only have Price’s take on what her marriage to Coleman looked like. I myself personally believe the lie detector test. I didn’t even need the lie detector test to know that she was guilty. Maybe it’s just an assumption built on what’s been made public. Nevertheless, it just proves that women can be just as guilty as men in a domestic violence situation. That’s that…