Lonely Planet: Owen Brophy And His Relationships – Everything That Made Lily Wrong For Him And Katherine Right

As I was in the process of writing my previous post and had mentioned Miley Cyrus’ previous relationship with her ex-husband, Liam Hemsworth, I was reminded of Lonely Planet, the 2024 Netflix film in which Hemsworth starred in alongside Laura Dern. Hemsworth portrayed Owen, a fiancé personnel who came along on a writers’ retreat alongside his girlfriend Lily, played by Diana Silvers. Lily is a newly accomplished novelist, who’s a big fan of Katherine Loewe, played by Dern. Katherine is also there at the same resort. She’s not there for the retreat itself, but rather to work on her book that’s been in the making for two years. She came there in hopes to get some inspiration; something she’s lacked back at home.

Owen obviously didn’t fit in to the crowd of writers at retreat. Lily was just happy getting attention from the other writers, and didn’t seem to give much of a thought to Owen’s feelings. He was mostly distracted by his demanding job, for which he must to take frequent high-pressure phone calls about a US real-estate deal. He met Katherine while taking a work call on the roof of the retreat. She was there trying in search of drinking water as the tap in her room stopped working. Owen then helped her find her way back to her room. The following day, Lily and the other writers opted to stay at the resort to speak to a reporter, while Owen and Katherine took a pre-planned excursion to a local town. They spent the afternoon together sharing insights and observations about travel. Katherine had initially got on board for the trip in hopes to get some quiet time while she wrote.

Their taxi suddenly broke down on the way back, so Owen and Katherine were treated by a local family to a home-cooked dinner and recreation, which they both enjoyed, despite the inconvenience. Upon returning, Owen was disappointed to find that Lily has been using alcohol, and rejected her when she initiated sex. When he told her spent the day with Katherine, her favourite author who was the inspiration behind her own writing, Lily obviously felt envious and rejected. While he tried to make it up to her and support her, Lily, in turn, publicly humiliated him during an evening game of charades, mocking him for his lack of literary knowledge.

Katherine, having witnessed the entire ordeal, wanted to lift Owen’s spirit up. She did just that by discussing his past successes in sports and commiserating at the difficulty of his job. He, in turn, shared his admiration of her long list of accomplishments, confessing that he “Googled” her. They ended up spending the evening sharing personal details until Owen’s work call interrupted them. After he’d contracted food poisoning, Lily left Owen for an overnight excursion into the Sahara. In the meantime, Owen got to spend more time with Katherine. As they’d gotten to know each other and gotten more comfortable with one another, especially Katherine, she told him that him that her sculptor partner of 14 years broke up with her because he found her unbearable while she was writing. Owen encouraged her, saying he appreciated her insight and self-discovery in her process.

Over the course of some time, Lily’s drug use and drinking became more and more apparent. It led her to stumble home several nights, half-naked and high. After a night of drinking, Owen made a pass Katherine. She gently pushed him away by calling him a kid, which insulted him. The following morning, Lily attempted to reconcile with Owen after their fight, but was caught by a photo texted by another man at the retreat, revealing they’d been having sex together. Without saying a word to Lily after seeing the photo, Owen left her to find Katherine and invite her to join him on a road trip. As they travelled together, they got intimate with one another. Owen opened up to her thereafter that he almost didn’t ask to come on the road trip, and she told him she was glad he did.

While on a relaxing stay at the beach, Owen and Katherine talked about what it’d be like to stay in Morocco together. They couldn’t stop smiling as they spoke of what their life could look together as a proper couple. They were interrupted, however, when Katherine’s laptop, containing the only copy of her novel, got stolen. Having lost two years’ worth of work and angry with herself, she is inconsolable. As Owen attempted to calm her down, Katherine, as she packed her things to go back home to New York, called him a distraction in the heat of the moment. Owen, feeling just as small at that moment as Lily made him, decided to leave…without Katherine.

Months went by. Katherine finished her book, and it was revealed that it was yet another hit. As she promoted it during an interview, Katherine answered a question by saying that the process of writing the book came with being loved; and being seen. Following the promotional tour, Katherine was seen at a bar with her friends. Owen, seen at the same bar with his friends, came up to her to congratulate her on the success of the book before leaving. Katherine ran after him, confessing tried to find him several times but lacked the courage to follow through. She apologized for him a distraction, and told him that the new book was inspired by their encounter, and that she wrote it as a way to keep him in her mind. Owen, without saying a word, kissed her…

The end…

I mean, this is the end of the movie’s storyline; not the end of the blog entry itself. I’d like first begin by saying that this blog entry isn’t about Miley Cyrus’ ex-husband, but rather about his character in the movie. It just so happens that he portrayed the character that we’re talking about here. More particularly, we’re here to talk about the contrast between Owen’s relationships between Lily and Katherine. This contrast that I’m putting such a big emphasis on lies in revealing his evolving desires and a breaking point in his life, highlighting the stagnation in his relationship with Lily versus the vital connection and self-discovery he finds with Katherine. Lily represents his past life and commitment, but their connection has become strained by his career and fame, while Katherine symbolizes a chance for a new beginning, a challenging intellectual and emotional connection, and the freedom to make a significant life change. To break things down more thoroughly:

Lily and Owen’s Relationship

• Stagnation: Owen and Lily’s relationship has become strained by his newfound success as a novelist and the demanding nature of his work in private equity. 

• Distance: Owen grows distant from Lily as he spends more time with Katherine, leading to the eventual breakdown of their relationship. 

• Unfulfilled Needs: The relationship with Lily becomes a symbol of a life Owen feels increasingly trapped in, burdened by his work and commitment. 

Katherine and Owen’s Relationship

• Intellectual & Emotional Connection :Katherine, a successful novelist, forms a deep connection with Owen, which provides her with a breakthrough from her own writer’s block. 

• Catalyst for Change: Their interactions lead Owen to re-evaluate his own life and career, ultimately inspiring him to quit his compromising finance job and pursue a more meaningful path. 

• Shared Discovery: As they travel and spend time together, they both experience personal breakthroughs and a shared vision for a different future, becoming a vital part of each other’s lives. 

The Significance of the Contrast

• Realization of Desires: The contrast between the two relationships makes Owen realize what he truly wants in a partner and in life. 

• A Turning Point: The relationship with Katherine becomes a catalyst for significant life changes for Owen, symbolizing his transition from a stagnant life to a more authentic one. 

• Symbolism of New Beginnings: Katherine represents a fresh, intoxicating, and life-altering experience, offering a contrast to the comfortable but unfulfilling routine he shared with Lily. 

I probably should’ve mentioned earlier that Katherine was at least 20 years older than Owen. Somehow, age wasn’t an indicator of Owen’s attraction to Katherine, or lack of it. Instead, it was about how Katherine made him feel when they were in each other’s company. I remember watching a segment of The Real, a daytime talk show which ran between 2013 and 2022 and featured Jeannie Mai as one of the co-hosts. In that particular segment, Mai’s husband at the time, Freddy Harteis, said that a man usually wouldn’t just go to a beautiful woman, but rather a woman who made him feel like a beautiful man. Mai nodded in agreement to his choice of words.

The segment itself was about cheating, which is, in hindsight, kind of funny considering Harteis allegedly cheated on Mai with his current wife. Lonely Planet wasn’t a movie about cheating, however. It was about two people finding love and comfort in each other when they least expect it. The fact that Lily was more or less the same age as Owen didn’t make her the right person for him. It’s not up to society to decide who’s right or wrong to be someone’s life partner; nor is it for anyone else for that matter but the person him or her self. The movie, however, didn’t make the age difference between Owen and Katherine much of a deal. That’s with the exception of Katherine calling Owen a kid when he tried to make a move on her, but it was quickly forgotten thereafter.

Though I’m sure Lily was meant to be genuinely a great person, but she was obviously SO wrong for Owen. Maybe at one point she was. But by the time we met her, she wasn’t. There were obviously underlying issues in the relationship between the two of them which hadn’t been addressed properly. I think when it comes down to everlasting love, Yungblud said it best. On the We Need To Talk podcast, hosted by Paul C.Brunson, a relationship expert and author, the singer said that two people must fall in love with one another 10-15 times in their life together, and that’s because people constantly change, and you need to fall for who they become over time, not just the person you first met. No two people will ever stay the same forever. People constantly change and evolve through new adventures and experiences, so the relationship requires falling in love with them repeatedly to stay connected through these changes. 

As someone who’s been with her husband for 14 years now, which is absolutely mind boggling, I can honestly say that Yungblud’s view on love is absolutely incredible. It’s so incredible that Brunson himself didn’t think of it. My mother-in-law once said to me that a relationship hits a rough patch when it reaches 7 years (maybe that’s why society calls it ‘the 7-years-ick), and then 15. She told me this the day after my husband and I got married. By that point, we’d been together 5 years, and by that point we’d gone through what most couples don’t survive – the pressure of my father-in-law’s controlling and manipulative nature, as well as him practically being the third person in our relationship, me being diagnosed with a chronic illness, him being diagnosed with a an autoimmune disease, both of us struggling with depression, and both of us surviving a car accident. Oh, and yes, there’s also me living with cerebral palsy and him navigating through and adapting to living with someone with a disability. If you ask him, however, he’ll say that this particular part of our relationship hardship wasn’t much of a thing. But more so, something that was a major factor in our hardships was me struggling to cope through my sexual trauma throughout our relationship.

In no way am I aiming to show off what my husband and I had been through in our time together. And in no way am I saying that we should be getting the ‘Couple Of The Year’ award for surviving all that we’d endured together. What I do mean to say by it is that throughout everything we’d gone through, we’ve constantly evolved and changed… both individually AND collectively. That’s exactly where Owen and Lily’s relationship went wrong. They grew individually, but not together – as a united front. Lily, on her part, allowed her newly-found success get to her head. Owen fell in love with her before she wrote her first book. The version of her that he got to see at the writers’ retreat seemed unrecognizable to him.

Generally speaking, relationships can last longer than they should due to societal pressure, fear of the unknown, the desire to avoid the pain of a breakup, or the comfort of familiarity, even if the relationship is unhealthy or unfulfilling. Other reasons include practical issues like finances or children, a lack of clarity on relationship non-negotiables, changes in a couple’s values, or a refusal to work on relationship problems, even when therapy is available. To break things down more thoroughly:

Societal & Emotional Factors

• Societal Pressure: There’s often a belief, reinforced by institutions like religion, that people must stay married for life, which can create pressure to endure an unhappy relationship. 

• Fear of the Unknown: People may fear the uncertainty of being alone, starting a new life, or facing a potential breakup. 

• Shame and Guilt: Some individuals may feel shame, guilt, or sadness about ending a relationship, leading them to stay longer than is healthy. 

• Comfort: A sense of familiarity and comfort, even in a dead-end relationship, can be difficult to leave behind, making it hard to give up the current situation for the unknown future. 

Practical & Relational Issues

• Financial & Material Reasons: Concerns about losing a home, children, or financial support can lead people to stay in relationships longer than they should. 

• Misaligned Values: A relationship may endure because partners have developed significantly different values or perspectives that they no longer respect in each other. 

• Lack of Accountability or Effort: One or both partners might be unwilling to take responsibility for problems, make necessary changes, or participate constructively in therapy, which prevents improvement. 

• Poor Boundaries: Failing to set and enforce healthy boundaries can create an environment where one partner consistently gives in to the other’s demands, even if they are unhappy. 

Relationship Dynamics

• Lack of Healthy Communication: Red flags like a lack of communication, and a refusal to address issues, can create a dysfunctional dynamic that persists despite the unhappiness it causes. 

• Focus on Longevity Over Happiness: Some people prioritize the length of the relationship over whether it meets their individual wants and needs, measuring its success by its duration rather than its quality. 

• Lost “Turning Towards”: Relationship satisfaction is built on small moments of “turning toward” a partner’s attempts to connect. A consistent turning away can damage a relationship, but people may stay out of habit rather than addressing the underlying issues. 

And that’s exactly what happened between Owen and Lily. By the time we, the viewers, met them, the relationship between the two was already doomed, and it was obvious that they were both just holding on to something – to the spark – that wasn’t there anymore. But it was all over a long time ago. It didn’t seem to take much for Owen to make a connection with someone else on the trip, and it certainly didn’t take much for Lily to cheat on Owen either.

Being in a long-term relationship is exhausting. The initial romantic phase lasts between six months to three years, and then…BAM. Something happens. Your relationship shifts. Your partner starts to annoy you; maybe even bore you. That’s exactly why making a relationship last is hard work; a 24/7 kind of work that takes commitment, time, effort, and energy. It was all that Owen and Lily’s didn’t have in them anymore to give to each other. They were disconnected from one another. They had different priorities; different needs from one another. They didn’t want the same things anymore. They were happier apart than they were together.

Longevity isn’t the measure of a quality relationship. In fact, if two people just keep focusing on longevity when it comes down to their relationship, consider it doomed from the start. The reason for this is because most long-lasting relationships are built on compromise, continued trust, and mutual respect. It’s about accepting each other, flaws and all. And finally, it’s about simply liking each other. That in itself was the entire point of Lonely Planet. Owen didn’t come to the retreat to fall in love with someone new. He came there to support his long-term girlfriend on her newfound success. Instead, he got much more than what he bargained for. He got clarity on what his future with Lily had in store, which was that the relationship was over for good and there were no repercussions. He also found a new love – someone who he liked and she liked him in return. He found someone who respected him; someone who saw him; really saw him.

By the ending of the movie, it wasn’t entirely clear whether or not Owen and Katherine were going to stay together in the long-run. What was clear, however, was that both of them were respectfully in a good place when they resumed their relationship. Katherine finished her novel that she’d worked so hard for to finish. She was at her happiest in a long time. She was smiling ear-to-ear when she was out celebrating the book’s success with her friends. She was healed from her own toxic long-term relationship where she was constantly being told she was the problem. Her coming up to Owen to apologize to him was a bold move. It was probably something she wouldn’t dare to do had it been a year prior. And Owen…he just needed to know that he wasn’t being used, so when Katherine told him that he wasn’t the distraction, but the inspiration behind her book, he felt that it was all he needed to hear from her.

Life is funny. And strange at the same time. It brings people into your life that you least expect to make an impact – big or small; positive or negative – and yet they do. Every person you meet holds a special agreement with your soul. These soul contracts are like invisible strings guiding us to those who will teach us, challenge us, and help us grow. As we journey through life, you must remember to cherish each encounter, for they are whispers of fate, reminding us of the beauty of human connection. In essence, that’s what Lonely Planet can teach us. Never mind the age difference. Owen and Katherine’s story is important. It explores identity, self-worth, and the complex reality of love through an age-gap romance where both characters learn to become better versions of themselves through self-acceptance and mutual understanding. Of course the film is flawed, but their relationship’s evolution from acquaintances to lovers who see each other for who they truly are provides a relatable and potentially life-altering experience for the characters. The story shows that when the opportunity for true love arises, characters can achieve personal growth and a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them. Things like age, disability, race, or gender have no quota on love and connection. It’s about the journey instead…