10 Things To Consider Before Applying To Become A Surrogate

Story By: Ginnifer Rose

In July of 2024, I completed my surrogacy journey by delivering a baby girl for another mother. Becoming a surrogate and carrying a child for another woman who longed for motherhood was one of the most proud things I’ve done in my life. What began as a desire to help someone struggling with infertility soon turned into a very involved and compassionate endeavor. 

While the ending was everything we had hoped for, the process did come with challenges and setbacks along the way. As I provide some real-life examples and advice, I highly recommend any woman considering becoming a surrogate take the time to review and consider all these points. There’s definitely plenty to consider in order to figure out if surrogacy is right for you.

Your Health and Medical History

Most agencies and clinics require surrogates to be physically healthy, with a history of uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries. You’ll undergo medical screenings to confirm your eligibility. Consider whether you’re comfortable with the exams, tests, and health requirements that will come with the application.

Understanding the Emotional Impact

Surrogacy isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional. You’ll need to consider how you’ll feel carrying a child who isn’t biologically yours, and how you’ll cope with handing that baby to their parents after birth. Emotional resilience and a strong support system are essential. Also, all surrogates are required to complete a psychological screening to make sure they fully understand the impact of their decision to become a surrogate.

Time Commitment

From interviews, IVF fertility treatments to prenatal appointments, the process takes time—often over 18 months from start to finish. You’ll need flexibility in your schedule and the ability to balance surrogacy with work, family, and personal responsibilities. It’s important to make sure you have enough bandwidth to complete all the tasks required in this process.

Matching with Intended Parents

When it comes time for the surrogacy agency to match you with intended parents, they will ask you what type of family you are interested in working with. Traditional heterosexual couple? Same sex gay couple? A single woman or single man? You have the choice to help whomever you’d like, so make sure you voice your preferences to your surrogacy agency at the beginning of the process.

Relationship with Intended Parents

Think about how you envision the relationship with the intended parents evolving through the journey. Do you want to build a friendship that lasts for years? Do you prefer to have a little bit of distance at the beginning to see how it goes? Both answers are okay, and you have the option to change your mind as the journey continues.

Considering the Compensation

Compensation for surrogates varies by state in the United States, but on average you can expect the compensation to average around $60,000. These are cash payments made after the pregnancy is confirmed with a heartbeat. This means that you must complete a medical screening, legal contracts and IVF before you start receiving the bulk of the compensation. While the money might seem like a lot, it’s important to be aware that a lot of time and commitment is needed in order to earn this money.

Educating Yourself on IVF

Nearly all surrogates in the US get pregnant through IVF because they are not the biological mother to the baby. The embryo is made at the fertility clinic with the egg and sperm of either the parents or donors. As part of the IVF process, surrogates must do daily injections at home for up to 12 weeks. There’s also a lot of bloodwork and ultrasound appointments during this time (way more than traditional pregnancy). 

Another thing to note with IVF is that it’s not always successful on the first attempt. For myself, our first embryo transfer failed. The emotional impact of a failed IVF cycle can be surprisingly difficult. You are already pumped up full of hormones, so you’ve got an extra layer of sensitivity. And of course you feel terrible for the parents who have already been down a difficult road. 

Making sure that you have support during this time is important, and learning about all the IVF requirements and process beforehand is highly recommended before you sign up to be a surrogate.

Knowing the Legal Restrictions

Surrogacy is a legal transaction, meaning that you have to complete contracts with an attorney (the intended parents pay all legal fees). During pregnancy surrogates must follow all the listed requirements in the contract, including travel restrictions, health lifestyle requirements, following medical recommendations from OBGYN, etc. In order to be a surrogate, you must feel comfortable following directions and agree to being monitored during your pregnancy.

Think About the Impact to Your Partner and Family

While the surrogate is the one who is actually pregnant, the surrogacy journey does impact your partner and possibly your children too. Some of your time will be focused on the journey requirements, which can take you away from your daily duties and time spent with loved ones. Travel restrictions were particularly difficult for my husband because we couldn’t visit his parents for the holidays. While this is all temporary, it is worth having a discussion with everyone who could be impacted and come up with a plan.

Make Sure You’re Applying for the Right Reasons

While the money earned from being a surrogate may be your initial motivation for applying, I want to stress the importance of becoming a surrogate with the intention of helping another family have a baby. At the end of the day, it’s a lot of work and it takes a toll on your body. It’s a hard way to earn your money if that’s your only motivation. 

Final Thoughts

Applying to be a surrogate is not a decision to take lightly—it requires heart, health, and dedication. By considering these ten factors, you’ll be better prepared for the journey and ready to give the incredible gift of parenthood to someone who’s been waiting for it.

About the Author

Gennifer Rose is a mother and a surrogate herself. She has worked professionally in surrogacy for over 4 years by helping surrogates and intended parents on their own journeys. On her blog MommyRose.com, she has shared her own surrogacy journey in more details. She is always open to hearing from anyone who may have questions about either becoming a surrogate or looking for a surrogate to carry for you.