Dawson & Joey: The Perfect Pairing That Was Never Meant To Be – And Why It Was The Best Thing For Them Both To NOT End Up Together

The previous post was a heavy subject, to say the least. The ugliness of cancer was merely a mention; but with a positive outlook on the essence of time and the prospect of love. And while we didn’t touch upon the real ugliness of cancer, I feel that maybe we talk about here. According to statistics, in Canada, an estimated 2 in 5 people will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, and 1 in 4 will die from it, with lung, colorectal, and breast cancer being the most common causes of mortality. Age is a significant risk factor, as nearly 90% of new cases and deaths occur in people aged 50 and over. Globally, cancer is a leading cause of death, with nearly 20 million new cases and 9.7 million deaths reported in 2022. In the future, roughly 45% of Canadians are expected to develop cancer during their lifetime. The number of new cancer cases is projected to rise to 33 million by 2050 worldwide.

Cancer is a disease that kills. It kills the body, as well as the soul. It not only makes it hard for those diagnosed with the deadly disease, but their loved ones as well. In most recent cancer news, the cast of Dawson’s Creek, the popular coming-of-age show which ran between 1998 and 2003, minus James Van Der Beek, who portrayed Dawson for all six seasons of the show, reunited for the first time in 22 years for a one-night only event in partnership with F Cancerin support of Van Der Beek, who’s been battling colorectal cancer since last year.

The one-night only event was a benefit where the cast read out the script for the very first episode of the show. Van Der Beek was set to appear alongside his former cast mates, but had to back out last minute due to an illness. Instead, he appeared via a pre-recorded video that was projected onstage. In the video, the actor thanked fans for purchasing tickets to the event, and introduced Lin-Manuel Miranda as his replacement. Miranda previously starred in the Broadway version of Hamilton alongside Jonathan Groff. It was a production directed by Thomas Kail, husband to Michelle Williams and father of her three of four children, who played Jen on the show and was the one who put the event together.

Van Der Beek’s wife, Kimberly, and their 6 children still attended the event and made a surprise appearance at the very end night when they all joined the rest of the cast to sing Dawson’s Creek’s theme song “I Don’t Want To Wait” by Paula Cole. Two of his daughters sang solos. Following the event, Kimberly posted a video on Instagram thanking the fans of the show, as well as everyone involved in making the event happen. She said, ‘I miss my husband. I just got off with James, digesting the whole night tonight, and Michelle Williams was the brainchild of this night. It was such a gift. The entire cast has been beyond words. Words will never do justice for their support. This night was so special to the whole family, and more importantly, like just feeling my husband fill the entire theater, and the love for him. We’ll be unwinding this one for a while, but thank you for the love and support and for the prayers, cause right here, front and center, is my husband on my heart. And it was a beautiful night, and I miss my husband. I can’t wait to go see him tomorrow.’

While Van Der Beek wasn’t able to attend, the rest of the three cast members did attend and showed a united front in support of their friend and his cause. These were Michelle Williams, Katie Holmes, who played Joey Potter, and Joshua Jackson, who played Pacey Ritter. Dawson, Joey, and Pacey were the core love triangle of the entire series. The end of the show saw Joey end up with Pacey. It was a last minute decision by the series creator, Kevin Williamson, as the original ending saw Joey and Dawson end up together. In 2018, Williamson opened up about where he thought the couple would be today. He said, ‘I think Pacey and Joey got married. I think they had a family, I think there were troubles. I think they got a divorce. I think that when we meet them they’re in a very dark place. But there’s still something between them that forces them to come together and raise their children. As they seek out happiness with others, they just keep coming back to each other. And they just can’t stop that magical thing that exists between them and that bond they have. I think we would sort of have to watch them fall in love all over again as middle-aged adults.’

While Dawson didn’t get his shot at love at the end of the series’ run, he did get his shot at filmmaking – something he’d worked so hard for since fans first met him in 1998. That’s aside from making things work with his best friend and first love, Joey. In hindsight, Dawson and Joey weren’t ever good together. Dawson was too secure and complacent, while Joey felt she lacked identity in their relationship. Their relationship was hindered by Dawson’s inability to let go of a romanticized fantasy of their past, Joey’s evolving identity, and the toxicity that resulted from Dawson forcing Joey to betray her father. Ultimately, they couldn’t grow together as individuals because they were too invested in their shared identity and the idea of being a couple. To break things down more thoroughly:

• Identity and Growth: Joey felt she was losing her identity and couldn’t evolve past the age of 15 when she was with Dawson. She needed to grow as an individual, something she couldn’t do within their deeply intertwined relationship. 

• Complacency vs. Effort: Dawson was too used to the security of having Joey in his life and didn’t put in the effort Joey needed. He was often more invested in the idea of their “fantasy” than in actively making the relationship work. 

• Toxicity and Betrayal: A major turning point was when Dawson pressured Joey to wear a wire to get her father to admit his drug crimes. Joey blamed Dawson for her father’s re-incarceration, creating deep resentment and breaking their connection. 

• Selfishness and Immaturity: Dawson often acted selfishly, prioritizing his own feelings and treating Joey as if she owed him something. He was often the “whiny” one, unable to accept Joey’s need for space or her burgeoning independence. 

• Obsession with a Fantasy: Dawson fixated on a romanticized vision of their relationship, unable to see Joey as a fully independent person. He couldn’t let go of the idea of their “childhood crush” blossoming into romance, even when it was no longer realistic. 

Pacey was originally supposed to end up with Andie in the end. Andie, played by Meredith Monroe, who was also at the one-night only benefit with the rest of the cast, was Pacey’s first love. He loved the absolute sh*t out of her; there was no doubt about that. But they were never meant to be. Their story had an expiration date and it was never to become anything more than a friendship thereafter.

Pacey and Andie weren’t a good couple because Andie, still fragile from past trauma, cheated on Pacey with another patient at a recovery center, which was a major betrayal of trust and respect for their relationship. Even though Pacey was hurt and angry, he expressed a willingness to forgive her over time, but Andie’s insecurity, lack of accountability, and attempts to manipulate their relationship after the breakup made their relationship unsustainable and immature. To break things down more thoroughly:

Andie’s Betrayal and Insecurity

• Infidelity: Andie slept with Mark, a friend she made at a recovery center, leading to a devastating breakup with Pacey. 

• Emotional Fragility: At the time, Andie was still emotionally vulnerable and had a history of unhealthy coping mechanisms, making her dependent on Pacey for stability, which made the separation difficult for her. 

• Immaturity and Manipulation: Instead of accepting responsibility for her actions and the relationship’s end, Andie displayed passive-aggressiveness and made a fake accusation of sexual assault to get back together with Pacey, showing a lack of maturity. 

Pacey’s Reaction and Maturity 

• Hurt and Anger: Pacey was understandably devastated and angry about the betrayal, as Andie knew how much their relationship meant to him. 

• Forgiveness: Pacey was willing to forgive Andie but needed time, recognizing the significance of the breach of trust and respect. 

• Setting Boundaries: Pacey attempted to handle the situation maturely by expressing his feelings and setting boundaries, though he was met with resistance from Andie. 

Why They Couldn’t Reconcile 

• Lack of Trust: Andie’s infidelity permanently damaged the trust and foundation of their relationship. 

• Differing Responses to the Breakup: Pacey tried to be mature and communicative, while Andie’s insecurity and immature behavior made it impossible for them to move forward constructively. 

• Andie’s Inability to Accept Responsibility: Andie’s refusal to take full accountability for her actions and her manipulative behavior after the breakup showed she wasn’t ready for a healthy relationship.

Perhaps the best thing that the show-runners of Dawson’s Creek could ever do was NOT have Dawson and Joey and Pacey and Andie end up together. So many shows – even too many of them, I’d say – put an emphasis on putting main characters and their first loves as endgame. Glee is the perfect example of that. The end of the series saw ALL couples – except one – that were together at the very beginning end up together. The one couple that didn’t end up together were Rachel and Finn, and it was only because the actor who portrayed him, Cory Monteith, passed away in real life two years before production had ended. Rachel ended up with Jesse, her first high school boyfriend, instead.

Originally, it was planned for Rachel to leave her Broadway accomplishments in New York behind to go back to her quiet life in Ohio to be with Finn, and it’s exactly what would’ve happened had Monteith not passed away. But if I’m completely honest, the ending that Rachel ended up getting was absolutely perfect for her. The ending that she ended up getting would’ve made perfect sense for her even if Monteith hadn’t passed away and the character of Finn would’ve been alive. By ending up with Jesse, Rachel didn’t have to give up everything she’d worked so hard for her entire life for love. By ending up with Jesse, she, quite literally, got to have it all. Even Lea Michele herself was very vocal that she wanted Rachel to be with Jesse in the end. And let’s be real, Jesse DID love Rachel. Unlike Finn, he loved and accepted every single version of her; flaws and all. Rachel and Finn, on the other hand, were toxic.

But the one couple that really made scratch my head when I saw them ending up together was Artie and Tina. I vividly remember seeing their kissing scene and me asking myself, ‘WHY?!’ Then being together was so out of the blue, and it made absolutely zero sense for them to be a couple to begin with. Like the rest of the Glee fandom, I was rooting for Artie to end up with Kitty, and for Tina to end up with Mike. These two couples were the couples that truly showcased what a healthy romantic relationship should look like. These two were the least problematic couples in the entire series, and they deserved a lot more credit than they got.

But if we go back to Dawson’s Creek, as we already heavily discussed why Joey and Dawson and Pacey and Andie weren’t meant to be, I think it’s time to discuss why Joey and Pacey WERE meant to be. Neither of them were ever perfect, but they were a perfect match for one another because Pacey provided the emotional support and understanding that Dawson couldn’t, while also challenging her to grow and pushing her out of her comfort zone. Their dynamic offered a compelling combination of deep empathy and quick-witted banter, a modern twist on classic screwball comedies, making their evolving romance believable and satisfying for fans. Pacey’s unwavering support, consistent presence, and willingness to sacrifice for her happiness ultimately showed Joey how much she was loved and understood, completing the necessary growth for her to realize their connection was the right one.  To break it down more thoroughly:

Emotional Understanding and Support

• Shared Background: Pacey, having experienced his own troubles, could empathize with Joey’s complex family situation in a way that the more sheltered Dawson couldn’t. 

• Unwavering Presence: Pacey was consistently there for Joey, offering support, driving her, and listening to her, especially during difficult times. 

• Belief in Her Dreams: He actively encouraged and supported her aspirations, believing in her potential and helping her to achieve her goals. 

Growth and Challenge

• Pushing Boundaries: Rather than just being a comfort zone like Dawson, Pacey actively challenged Joey to step out of her comfort zone and grow as an artist and a person. 

• Self-Sacrifice: Pacey showed his selflessness by being willing to make sacrifices for Joey’s happiness, even when it meant putting his own feelings aside. 

Dynamic and Chemistry

• Quick-Witted Banter: Their relationship featured a lively, fast-paced banter that was reminiscent of classic screwball comedies, adding a modern twist to their romantic dynamic. 

• A Different Path: While Dawson represented an established and comfortable relationship, Pacey offered a less predictable, more exciting path that allowed Joey to discover new aspects of herself. 

Mature Connection

• From Friendship to Love: The relationship evolved naturally from a deep friendship, with Pacey’s feelings slowly becoming apparent to Joey and culminating in a strong romantic connection built on understanding and acceptance. 

• A Real Relationship: Unlike other relationships in the show, the romance between Joey and Pacey was portrayed as a fully developed and working relationship that continued to grow, making their love story satisfying. 

Love in reel life influences love in real life. It’s just the way it is. Seeing love unfold on-screen influences existing relationships. We, as a society, expect love in real life to be similar to, if not the exact same as, the love we see represented on-screen. We, as a society, crave for drama. We live for it, and in a nutshell, every time we watch a series – any series – we impatiently wait for it to unfold.

That’s exactly the reason why Ross and Rachel were the main couple on Friends. In reality, they were wrong for each other in every sense of the word. Their relationship was filled with manipulative, controlling, and sabotaging behaviors exhibited by both characters, particularly Ross’s jealousy and possessiveness towards Rachel’s career and friendships, and Rachel’s attempts to disrupt Ross’s relationships when she felt he was with someone else. Their constant “will they, won’t they” dynamic was characterized by a lack of trust, selfish actions, and emotional manipulation rather than honest communication, which ultimately made their relationship unhealthy and exhausting.  To break it down more thoroughly:

Ross’s toxic behaviors:

• Controlling and Jealous: Ross often acted possessive and controlling, especially regarding Rachel’s friendships and career, such as his jealousy of her coworker Mark. 

• Emotional Manipulation: He used emotional blackmail and guilt to get what he wanted, like when he tried to prevent her from moving to Paris. 

• Sabotage: Ross sabotaged Rachel’s opportunities, including her dream job, to keep her close and in his control. 

• Lack of Trust: He consistently displayed a lack of trust in Rachel, often ignoring her words or actions due to his own insecurities and paranoia. 

Rachel’s toxic behaviors:

• Manipulation: Rachel also engaged in manipulative behavior, like influencing Bonnie to shave her head or turning up at Ross’s wedding. 

• Selfishness: She would often only want Ross when she was not in a relationship, and would go to great lengths to disrupt his relationships when he was with other people. 

• Sabotage: Rachel interfered with Ross’s other relationships, attempting to break them up, and even encouraged Ross’s friends to ignore his boundaries. 

The toxic cycle:

• Sabotage over Communication: Their relationship was stuck in a cycle of jealousy and sabotage rather than open communication, with each partner undermining the other’s happiness. 

• Ignoring Boundaries: They frequently crossed boundaries, with Ross barging into Rachel’s workplace and Rachel orchestrating disruptions in Ross’s life. 

• Unhealthy Patterns: The relationship was a “roller coaster” filled with unhealthy drama, which, while entertaining on screen, would be exhausting and damaging in real life.

I distinctly remember watching Friends in my younger years thinking to myself that it was Ross and Rachel’s relationship that I wanted for myself in my future. How dumbfounded was I? Now that I’m an adult and am married and have a child of my own, I’ve come to the realization that it was Monica and Chandler’s relationship that should’ve been the one to be strived for by the younger viewers; not Ross and Rachel’s. Monica and Chandler’s love story was based on friendship, mutual respect, trust, communication, commitment, and the willingness to try. In a nutshell, that’s really all you want in a long-lasting relationship. This doesn’t mean that Ross and Rachel weren’t in love with each other. They definitely were. But two people can love each other and be absolutely wrong for another, and that’s exactly what the two of them ended up to be.

Truly, I believe it’s time for all of us in this world to put a stop in romanticizing toxicity and endless drama in relationships. That’s not what a healthy relationship is based on; or should be based on. It’s totally okay for a person not to end up with their first love, and I think that’s exactly what made Dawson and Joey’s love story and the way they ended so perfect. It allowed them both to grow into well-rounded individuals, with Joey needing to find her own identity separate from Dawson, and Dawson needing to mature beyond his cinematic, idealized view of relationships. Their relationship was defined by a power imbalance and an expectation that they were meant to be, a dynamic that was broken by the addition of Pacey and the ultimate realization that they loved each other differently than they loved each other’s idea of the other person. To break it down more thoroughly:

Joey’s Growth 

• Finding her own identity: From the start, Joey struggled with her identity in her relationship with Dawson, relying on him and needing to find herself outside of their dynamic. 

• Detaching from Dawson: Her relationship with Dawson often saw her being a “security blanket” for him, and she needed to break free from this reliance to find her own path and make her own choices. 

Dawson’s Growth

• Leaving the movies: Dawson was often criticized for viewing life and relationships as a movie, and his inability to connect with Joey in the real world stemmed from this. 

• Maturing out of self-absorption: For the relationship to truly have a chance, Dawson needed to grow up and out of his teenage self-obsession, which the finale of the show showed him starting to do. 

The Dynamics of Their Relationships

• Uneven expectations: Dawson felt entitled to Joey, expecting her love without putting in the necessary effort, while Joey needed more than Dawson was willing to give. 

• Pacey as a catalyst: Pacey, by contrast, was deeply insecure but also romantic and vulnerable, showing Joey what real affection and effort looked like. This contrast highlighted the flaws in Dawson and Joey’s “written in the stars” romance. 

• A less traditional ending: Creator Kevin Williamson initially envisioned them together but realized that a twist on the teen genre required a more surprising, realistic, and honest ending. 

Ultimately, Dawson and Joey realized they loved each other differently, and not in the way that made them a perfect couple. Dawson finally understood that while he loved Joey, Pacey loved her back in a way that fulfilled all her needs, making their union more complete.