Nicole Kidman: Exploring The REAL Reason Why She Worked So Much In Recent Years – And How Divorce Can Be The Best Thing A Woman Can Do To Lead A Better Life

In recent relationship breakdown news, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban separated after 19 years of marriage, and Kidman has since officially filed for divorce. The couple married in a beautiful June 2006 ceremony (not like I was there to even know such a detail), with Kidman’s older children, Isabella and Connor, in attendance. These are her children that she adopted with Tom Cruise during their marriage, which ended in 2001, and they famously chose to live with their father following Kidman and Cruise’s separation.

Kidman’s relationship with her older children had reportedly been distant, with the actress expressing a desire to reconcile while maintaining that her children were adults who could make their own choices, including remaining part of the Church of Scientology. Kidman stated she’d always love them and showed support for their decisions, though she also expressed private heartbreak over the estrangement, noting their absence from personal milestones. The children were raised in Scientology by their father, which is considered a major factor in the strained relationship after their parents’ divorce. To break it down more thoroughly:

Background and Estrangement

• Scientology: Following her divorce from Tom Cruise, the older children, remained with their father and became heavily involved in the Church of Scientology, which Kidman is not affiliated with. 

• Strained Relationship: Sources have suggested that the children’s commitment to Scientology is a key reason for their strained relationship with their mother. 

• Public Absence: Kidman was not present at Isabella’s 2015 wedding and has not been publicly seen with Isabella or Connor since 2007, according to Daily Mail. 

Kidman’s Public Stance 

• Unconditional Love: Kidman has publicly stated that her love for her children is unconditional and that she wants them to know that she is always available to them. 

• Protecting Privacy: She has also emphasized the importance of protecting her relationships with her children and has described herself as being “very private” about them. 

• Respecting Choices: Despite the distance, Kidman has expressed understanding and respect for her children’s choices, including their religious beliefs. 

Hopes for the Future

• Desire for Reconciliation: Reports suggest that Kidman is determined to reconnect with Isabella and Connor and has expressed hope for a reconciliation. 

• Tragedy as a Catalyst: There have been claims that a tragic family event, such as the loss of their grandmother, may have spurred the children to reach out to their mother with a “heartfelt note”. 

• Personal Effort: Kidman has reportedly considered stepping back from her career to focus on mending her relationship with them. 

Stepping back from her career wasn’t anything Kidman did. In fact, in recent years, she’s worked more than usual. In 2024 alone, she started in 4 movies, including A Family Affair and Babygirl, and 2 TV shows, including The Perfect Couple, which is absolutely INSANE! This year was a little slower, having starred in 1 movie and 1 TV shows. Next year, she’s slated to star in 1 movie, the sequel to Practical Magic with Sandra Bullock, as well as 2 TV shows. I must admit, The Perfect Couple was a great show, and A Family Affair was fun to watch.

In October 2024, Kidman was asked whether she thought of taking a break considering she had so many projects lined up at the time. She said, ‘I do, but in this weird way there are so many opportunities in terms of being able to be of service to the people who are coming up, and using what I have and can do for people like [‘Babygirl’ writer and director] Helena [Reijn]. It’s very hard for me to go, ‘Okay, I’m just going to take care of myself,’ because I’m so much about taking care of other people. I’m thinking, ‘I can create more work for people. I can create jobs for people.’ And also, I love it. I have the passion. I’ve just got to take care of my body. I wish I had superpowers because I would love to be everywhere. This is what I dreamed of since I was a little girl. I love what I do so I’m going just give it my all, and then I don’t go out. I go home to be with my family. We do things together. I’m not going out to nightclubs.’

It’s truly hard to believe that Kidman almost made the decision to slow down her career; particularly once she became a mother to Sunday Rose, her first child with Urban. She thought that it was what she needed to do in order to be the best mother she could be, as per a 2024 interview. She told CBS Sunday Morning at the time, ‘When I gave birth to Sunday, I was like, ‘I think I’m pretty much done now’. I’d moved to Nashville, we were living on a farm, and that’s when my mum actually said, ‘I wouldn’t give up completely. Keep a finger in it.’’

Sunday Rose is now 17 years old. A lot has changed since the days Kidman considered slowing down in her career ambitions to focus on being a mother. For one, she and Urban had their second daughter, Faith Margaret, who’s now 14 years old. Luckily, Kidman’s career didn’t slow down since she had her younger children with Urban. She made it work. She balanced motherhood with her work life as best as she possibly could, and the kids benefited from it as well. They got to travel and see the world at a young age; more than an average 80 year old! Now that both of them are older, they don’t travel with their mother as much, and Sunday Rose now has a blossoming modelling career of her own. Just day after the official announcement of her parents’ pending divorce was made, Sunday Rose modelled for Paris Fashion Week runway show.

Though Kidman has always worked a lot, she took it up a notch these past couple of years. We’ve seen her on-screen more often than ever before. When asked why she’s worked so much these past couple of years, she said it was because she could create jobs for the younger generation. This reason is very similar to the one Angela Lansbury continued her work on Murder, She Wrote – to make sure that older actors had more work so that they could get health insurance. The series ran for a total of 12 seasons and was made into 4 television films after the series finale. Lansbury continued working on the original series for several seasons by reducing her role in episodes and becoming an executive producer. After the original show’s conclusion in 1996, Lansbury also continued to be involved with the franchise through the 4 made-for-TV movies from 1997 to 2003. To break it down more thoroughly:

Reducing her acting role:

• Tiredness: Lansbury grew weary of the demanding production schedule, especially the change from a seven-day to an eight-day shooting schedule for each episode. 

• Solution: To address this, she reduced her appearances in several episodes of the fifth season and beyond, often appearing only at the beginning and end of an episode to introduce stories starring other characters. 

• Executive Producer In 1992, Lansbury took on a more extensive role in the show’s production by becoming its executive producer. 

Post-original series work: 

• TV Movies: After the original series ended in 1996, four Murder, She Wrote TV movies were produced, with the first airing in 1997. 

• Desire for a comeback: Lansbury expressed a desire for a comeback appearance as Jessica Fletcher in 2011, indicating her continued connection to the character and show.

Lansbury never got the chance to revisit her role before she passed in 2022 at the age of 96, but in 2025, the franchise continued through a book series. A remake is now also in the works with Hollywood veteran Jamie Lee Curtis set to star. Lansbury’s career move on Murder, She Wrote looked similar, if not identical, to that of Ellen Pompeo’s role on Grey’s Anatomy. She’s played the role of Meredith Grey since the show’s very beginning in 2005. Her on-screen role was eventually reduced in order for her to be more present for her 3 children. Nevertheless, while she appears in fewer episodes, she remains the show’s narrator and an executive producer, giving her an ongoing connection to the series. She’s also  taken on other roles, like in the Hulu series A Good American Family, to explore different challenges and interests. 

Pompeo has stated that she’d never quit Grey’s Anatomy completely because it’d make no financial or emotional sense; it’d mean others profit from her two decades of hard work while she gains nothing, and it would also feel like a disservice to the show’s legacy. She still wants to have a grateful attitude toward the show and maintains her role as narrator and executive producer, even after reducing her on-screen appearances to a part-time capacity to spend more time with her children. To break it down more thoroughly:

Financial & Emotional Reasons

• Financial Security: As one of the highest-paid actresses for many years, Pompeo feels it would be foolish and financially illogical to walk away completely, allowing others to profit from her work without her receiving any benefit. 

• Emotional Connection: The show holds significant emotional meaning to her after 20 years, and she wants to maintain a positive connection and gratitude towards it. 

• Fairness: Leaving entirely would mean that other companies and individuals could continue to make money off the show through her image and voice, without her receiving the same share. 

I must admit, I commend women such as Kidman, Lansbury and Pompeo. These are women who contribute not only to themselves and their families, but society as a whole. These are women who’ve made decisions to continue working to support themselves, as well as others; to make sure others were well taken care of. It’s a selfless act to make,essentially in a man’s world where women aren’t allowed just because and let live.

Just in recent days Jennifer Lopez talked about the happiness her working on the Kiss of the Spider Woman musical brought her during her divorce from Ben Affleck. She told CBS Sunday Morning, ‘It was hard not to think about stuff, but it was like the best and the worst of times in a way. because it was every moment on set and every moment I was doing this role, I was so happy. And then back home, it was not great. It was just like, how do I reconcile this? But you get through it. Honestly, I have to say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It helped me grow in a way that I needed to grow, become more self-aware. I’m a different person now than I was last year.’

Lopez’s personal life looks much different than that of Kidman’s. Lopez was married a total of 4 times, engaged 5. She has two children, twins Max and Emma from her previous marriage to Marc Anthony. She and Affleck were previously engaged in the early 2000’s, but they broke off their engagement a few days before they were set to wed. Following her breakup with Alex Rodriguez in early 2021, she and Affleck reconnected and started dating again. In April 2022, the couple announced their engagement, more than 20 years after the first proposal. They were married that summer. By August 2024, the two were separated and the divorce was finalized earlier this year.

Luckily, however, they, along with their respective children, have remained on good terms, and in that same interview with CBS Sunday Morning, Lopez gave her former spouse credit where credit was due. Of getting the role in Kiss of the Spider Web, Lopez said, ‘The movie wouldn’t have been made if it wasn’t for him and Artist Equity. I will always give him that credit, because they financed it. I told him this was the role I was born to play and I wanted to do it, and he was like, ‘OK,’ and he helped make it happen.’

Just recently, Lopez criticized Craig Melvin for asking her about her divorce from Affleck while doing promotions on the Today Show. It might’ve seemed so hypocritical of her to do considering how open she was about their relationship when they were together. During their marriage, Lopez seemed to be EVERYWHERE, just like Kidman. The entire world was getting tired of Lopez.

The singer-actress has been working extensively to maintain her career, challenge ageist stereotypes in Hollywood, and fulfill a desire to create and promote projects, especially those centered on Latino culture. This increased work schedule, which included new movies, a tour, and business ventures, was particularly noticeable in early to mid-2024, and was reportedly exacerbated by personal difficulties and the couple’s ongoing marital conflict at the time. To break it down more thoroughly:

Professional and Personal Motivations

• Longevity and Relevance: J.Lo aims to defy the notion that a woman’s career must end after a certain age, using her experience as an advantage to excel in the industry. 

• Pioneering Spirit: She is a pioneer in breaking down barriers for Hispanic and Latino individuals in Hollywood, creating opportunities and content for her community through her production company. 

• Passion and Dedication: She expresses genuine love and passion for her work, which she does not view as a typical job, feeling grateful and motivated daily. 

• Business Acumen: Lopez has also expanded her brand into various business ventures, including fragrances and clothing, and is involved in the production side of film. 

Circumstances in 2024

• Overlapping Projects: In spring 2024, J.Lo was actively promoting her film Atlas, preparing for a new tour, and working on other film projects, which contributed to her busy schedule. 

• Marital Conflict: Her focus on work was also a response to marital challenges with Ben Affleck; as reported by Marie Claire, the ramp-up in her work commitments started a few months before the public became aware of their issues. 

• Public Scrutiny: J.Lo is a prominent figure who works hard to stay relevant in a challenging industry that can be critical of women over a certain age, a situation she actively tries to navigate

During her October 6 appearance on Today, Melvin began the interview before Lopez cut him off, ‘In the middle of filming this elaborate, beautiful musical, your divorce was also finalized with Ben.’ Lopez then said, ‘There you go! Look at this guy!’ Melvin then clarified his reasoning for mentioning Affleck when discussing the film, noting, ‘But then I read that your ex is an executive producer on the film.’ Lopez commented, ‘If it wasn’t for Ben, the movie wouldn’t have gotten made. And I will always give him that credit.’ As for her attitude toward the divorce, she added, ‘And yeah, things happen, you have to keep going.’

Lopez then further explained how making the movie got her through a rough patch in her personal life. She said, ‘It’s funny, the movie is about escapism. It’s about how movies and art save us in the hardest times of our lives. Doing this project was such a dream come true for me that it really got me through to kind of survive a moment that was difficult in my personal life as well. After [filming] I took some time off and now we’re back. I’m really excited for everybody to see this film. It’s a beautiful film about love.’ Melvin noted, ‘And it sounds like it might have helped saved you.’ Lopez agreed.

For much of her relationship with Affleck, both in the early 2000’s and 2020’s, Lopez made her personal life a big political statement in her career. I’d go as far as saying that she made her personal life with Affleck her entire identity in her career; musically, at least. That was never the case for Kidman in her marriage to Urban. They were both fairly private about their marriage throughout their 19 year union, which is considered to be an eternity by Hollywood standards.

News of Kidman’s divorce from Urban came as a surprise to those that didn’t know them personally. And yet, according to those that knew the couple personally, their separation was reportedly a long time coming. Urban was struggling with addiction. In a newly resurfaced interview, Urban had nothing but kind words to say about his now-ex. In a 2024 AFI Life Achievement tribute, shared on TNT’s YouTube channel, Urban recalled how early troubles nearly ended their marriage. He said, ‘We got married in June 2006 and barely four months into our marriage, my addictions that I had done really nothing about blew our marriage to smithereens.’ He ended his testament by saying that Kidman ‘has a capacity to love like no one I’ve ever met.’

According to sources, Urban’s years of addiction put a toll on his marriage with Kidman and could never recover in its aftermath. In hindsight, their separation was inevitable from the very beginning; much like Lopez and Affleck’s separation was. Lopez, unlike Kidman, was very public in her relationship. Hence, the signs of a marriage breakdown were much more evident and widespread.

With all that being said, Kidman and Lopez’s respective marriages and divorces, though might seem as different as apples and oranges, are very much all in the same; and these two women have one thing in common: they used their work to escape their lives at home. Why do women do that? Generally speaking, women  often work to escape marriage due to feeling overwhelmed by the unequal burden of emotional labor and household responsibilities, dissatisfaction with a partner’s lack of support, financial concerns and a desire for independence, or a general realization that marriage does not align with their goals. This leads to feelings of being “trapped,” and they may develop “escape plans” to protect their assets, reclaim their time, and find greater happiness. To break it down more thoroughly:

Reasons for Working to Escape Marriage

• Emotional Labor and Burnout: Many women experience resentment when they are the primary managers of the household, including tasks, planning, and emotional support, leading to burnout. 

• Lack of Support: When a partner fails to respond to a woman’s emotional and logistical needs, it can feel like the woman isn’t cared for, leading her to seek escape rather than a solution within the marriage. 

• Financial Independence: Some women, particularly older women, prioritize their financial stability and autonomy, choosing to remain single to protect their assets and avoid potential disputes in a marriage. 

• Greater Happiness in Singlehood: Research indicates that many women are happier as single individuals compared to single men, and some recognize that marriage may not bring the same level of contentment it provides to men. 

• Feeling Trapped: Women who feel ignored, neglected, or unsupported in a marriage may begin to make solo plans and develop “escape plans” as a clear sign they no longer want a future with their spouse. 

Signs of Working Towards an Escape

• Focus on Solo Future Plans: A woman using “when I” instead of “when we” to describe the future can signal her desire for a separate life. 

• Developing Financial Reserves: Creating an emergency fund or having hidden cash is a common strategy to ensure financial independence in case of a separation. 

• Seeking Emotional Support Elsewhere: Investing in friendships and other social connections can make it easier to detach from a draining marriage. 

The Path to Escape

• Building an Exit Plan: This involves preparing emotionally, financially, and physically for the possibility of leaving the marriage. 

• Focusing on Solo Goals: Actively working towards her own future and self-care is a common behavior among women seeking to leave a marriage. 

• Seeking External Support: Investing in other relationships, such as with supportive friends, can provide the emotional resilience needed to leave a difficult marriage. 

While I certainly do believe that Kidman’s reason for taking on more roles than the norm in recent years was that she wanted to create more jobs for the younger generation, I also believe that it was to escape her life at home and crumbling marriage to Urban. No matter the case, since the announcement of her and Urban’s separation and divorce filing, Kidman has never looked happier in her recent public appearances. Divorce… it can be the best thing that ever happens to a woman.