Taylor Swift: The Epiphany Of Modern Womanhood – And How She And Travis Kelce Are Paving The Way For Healthy Relationships

Taylor Swift is, yet again, hard at work and everywhere in the media as she released her 12th studio album, The Life Of A Showgirl, on October 3rd. She’s been heavily promoting the album, doing interviews left and right, and of course, showing off her engagement ring. She’s done more promo for this album than she’d ever done since her 2016 smear campaign that was put against her at the hands of Kanye West and then-wife Kim Kardashian. We’re now seeing Swift at the happiest phase in her life; at least the happiest that witnessed in the past two decades since she started her career as a multi-platinum artist in 2006.

In one interview with UK’s BBC Radio 2, Swift responded to speculations that she’d be quitting music once she married Travis Kelce and had children. Scott Mills said, ‘I just saw some fans going, ‘Well, she’s going to get married, and then she’s going to have children and [it’s going to be her last album], to which she said, ‘That’s a shockingly offensive thing to say. It’s not why people get married, so they can quit their job. It’s like, I love the person that I am with because he loves what I do, and he loves how much I am fulfilled by making art and making music. That’s the coolest thing about Travis; he’s so passionate about what he does that me being passionate about what I do, it connects. There’s no point in time where he’s gonna be like, ‘I’m really upset that you’re still making music.’ Imagine [him saying], ‘The music that I signed up for, that I knew you love, I thought you were going to stop doing that.’’

Historically, women got married for economic and political reasons, to ensure the legitimacy of heirs, and for social and legal security, as marriage at the time was often a means of alliance between families rather than a choice based on love. Marriage secured a woman’s social status and economic future, with a dowry often providing a form of protection, and a lack of legal rights as a single woman making marriage a necessity for many. In all senses of time and purpose, marriage was a business transaction. To break it down more thoroughly:

Economic and social reasons

• Family alliances: Marriage was frequently used to create political and economic alliances between families, a practice seen in ancient Rome and other cultures.

• Securing resources: As societies became more settled, marriage developed to ensure that accumulated resources like land and property could be passed down to legitimate heirs.

• Social and legal status: In many societies, marriage was the only way for a woman to have legal standing and economic security. A married woman had no legal existence outside of her husband and had to give up control of her property, while single women had more rights. 

Heirs and legitimacy

• Ensuring heirs: A primary purpose of marriage was to bind women to men to ensure that the children born were the man’s biological heirs and would inherit from him.

• Legitimate offspring: Marriage was seen as the only legitimate context for producing heirs, and therefore a woman’s main role in marriage was to be a mother. 

Financial security

• Dowry: A dowry, where the bride’s family provided money, property, or gifts to the groom’s family, was often given to ensure the bride’s economic security and to secure a good match for her.

• Protection: A dowry could also protect a woman against abuse, or could be a way to “buy” a suitable husband and son-in-law for the family.

• “Conservating the widow”: Some historical traditions, such as the “conserving the widow,” involved an apprentice marrying a deceased master’s widow to inherit his title and business, providing support for the widow and a new business opportunity for the apprentice. 

Now, however, in the year 2025, things look much different. Women don’t get married for any of those things. Instead, women get married because they’re looking for love, companionship, and stability. Marriage is a promise between two people to stay together forever – in sickness and in health; for richer or poorer. In more recent years, marriage saw an all-time decline. The percentage of people aged 15 and older who were married in Canada fell from 54.1% in 1991 to 44.3% in 2021. The number of marriages per 1,000 people in Canada was 2.6 in 2020, a record low largely due to the pandemic. The pre-pandemic rate in 2019 was 3.9 per 1,000. 

Many couples now choose not to get married not because they’re don’t love each other or because they don’t want to be together forever. They choose not to get married because the the formality of it all just doesn’t make sense to them. Despite the decline in formal marriage, the ratio of Canadian adults living in some form of union or domestic partnership has remained relatively steady over the last century. Common-law unions are becoming more common. In 2021, 22.7% of couples in Canada were common-law. 

Today, women get married for a variety of reasons, like the one I mentioned above, which is the desire for love and companionship. Other reasons include the social and emotional benefits of having a partner, and the goal of starting a family. More factors include societal pressures and expectations, the financial stability and security that marriage can provide, and the perceived advantages for raising children. To break it down more thoroughly:

Emotional and social reasons

• Love and companionship: For many, marriage is rooted in the desire for love and a partner to share life’s experiences with.

• Support system: Marriage can provide a built-in support system to help navigate stress, loneliness, and life’s challenges.

• Increased satisfaction: Studies have shown that married individuals often report higher life satisfaction, lower rates of depression and anxiety, and increased self-esteem.

• Sense of security: The commitment of marriage can lead to a greater sense of security and safety. 

Practical and financial reasons

• Financial stability: Marriage can lead to greater financial stability through shared resources, potentially lower housing costs, and tax benefits.

• Shared responsibilities: A spouse can help with household chores, child-rearing, and managing daily tasks.

• Health benefits: Married individuals may have better access to health insurance and tend to be healthier overall. 

Societal and cultural reasons

• Societal expectations: In many cultures, there are lingering societal norms that place pressure on women to marry, sometimes implying that their value is tied to marriage.

• Family building: For those who want to have children, marriage is often seen as the ideal and most stable environment for raising a family, which may lead to more advantages for children.

• Cultural and religious beliefs: Marriage can be important for a variety of cultural and religious reasons, including establishing rights and obligations for the couple and their families. 

If I were to relive the past 10 years of my life all over again, I would’ve done some things very differently. One thing I’d change is… I wouldn’t have gotten married. Marriage, to me, is sacred. Marriage is vulnerable. Marriage is scary. Marriage is beautiful and fundamental. But marriage is more than just a piece of paper. Marriage, by its mere definition, is is a legally and socially recognized union between two people, creating a relationship with defined rights and obligations. It is a formal partnership, often marked by a wedding ceremony, that can include legal, social, and emotional components, though its specific nature varies across cultures and religions. Marriage provides structure for relationships and serves social functions like regulating sexual activity, dividing labor, and providing for the care of children.  To break it down more thoroughly:

Legal and social aspects 

• Legal status: Marriage is a legal contract that grants spouses a range of rights and responsibilities, such as inheritance, tax benefits, and the ability to make medical decisions for one another. 

• Social recognition: It is a socially sanctioned union that establishes a new family unit and creates a public, official bond between the partners. 

• Status of offspring: In many cultures, marriage provides status and a defined relationship for any children born to the couple. 

Emotional and personal aspects 

• Commitment: It represents a public declaration of commitment and a lifelong partnership, though it can end in separation or divorce. 

• Companionship and support: Marriage provides companionship, affection, and a deep emotional bond between partners. 

• Teamwork: For many, it is a partnership where spouses work together as a team to manage their lives and family. 

Cultural and historical context 

• Varying definitions: The definition and form of marriage have changed over time and differ significantly between cultures and religions. 

• Diverse forms: Historically, marriages have taken many different forms to serve various social and personal functions, such as regulating sexual relations, organizing economic production, and providing affection and companionship. 

Cliché – this would be the perfect word to describe this narrative on marriage. The legality of it all doesn’t prove anything. It doesn’t prove that the two people in the marriage love each other any more than they did before; or that they loved each other any less before they got married. If it were all up to me, I wouldn’t have gotten married. My husband was the one that insisted on getting married. For my husband, getting married meant gaining something he never felt he had – a family. It meant that he didn’t just gain me as a family, but my parents and the rest of my family too. It was important to him. My dad, in particular, is the father that he never had. That’s why we’re now married. But when it comes down to our relationship as a whole, getting married wasn’t the answer to strengthen it or prove something to ourselves, our families or to the entire world.

But I’m not Taylor Swift, and by no means am I comparing myself to her. What I mean to say is that she and I have completely different views on marriage. She, unlike me, always wanted to get married. There was absolutely no question about it. From the very beginning of her career, Swift sang songs about love and happiness; and the urge to find her Mr. Right. When she with Joe Alwyn, whom she was with for 6 years, she sang songs about wanting to get married to him. Her 2019 Lover era was all about it. From the outside perspective, Swift gave her relationship with Alwyn her all; much more than he ever gave her. He never gave her what she was looking for. She had song called Paper Rings, where she sang that she’d marry him even with a paper ring. But alas, he never gave her anything remotely like this. In 6 years, he never gave her what she wanted.

Swift is the most successful artists of this generation. There’s absolutely no one like her. Her Eras tour made a whopping $1 billion in sales, which is unheard of. That said, she doesn’t need anyone to take care of her; financially at least. She can take care of herself. But this doesn’t mean that want to be taken care of by a man emotionally. Strong, confident women who advocate for themselves, like Swift has for years, often find that they want the men in their lives to be giving; for them to give more than they take. They want the door held open for them, a shared umbrella, an invitation to a date planned and paid for by the man in their lives. As Virginia Woolf once said, ‘The strongest natures, when they are influenced, submit the most unreservedly;
it is perhaps a sign of their strength.’

For a woman as powerful as Taylor-freaking-Swift, especially now in the year 2025, a healthy marriage is more than just about the other person providing financial security. It’s about the other person showing her love and affection, being an empath towards her, supporting her growth, validating her and appreciating her. But most of all, it’s about the other person not holding her back in her career aspirations. And that’s exactly what Swift needs in a partnership; in a marriage. As an artist and creator, Swift is a creative genius. She can get big inspirations by the smallest of things, and that’s exactly what happened recently while she was out with Kelce. She once left a date they were on to record a song she got an idea for.

Kelce is the type of man that’s not threatened by his partner’s success. She doesn’t need to make herself smaller in any shape or form to make him feel like more of a man. He, along with his brother Jason, is the epitome of positive masculinity. Before we get into the importance of showcasing positive masculinity, it’s important to understand exactly what it is. In all case and point, positive masculinity is the act of recognizing the strengths of masculinity, such as how physical strength and risk-taking are crucial in many aspects of life, such as the emergency services where physical strength and courage are vital. Thus positive masculinity is good for men’s wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around them.

Those who come from traditional backgrounds usually see positive masculinity as feminine traits that men lead their lives by. Old-aged traditional masculinity states that men can’t be vulnerable; men can’t have feelings; men can’t cry; men can never been seen or viewed as less than women; men can’t make less money than women; men can never be less successful than women. That’s just not the case anymore, and Taylor Swift’s soon-to-be husband is showing the world exactly that. Kelce has shown a softer side in his interactions and overall relationship with Swift. For example, he made a friendship bracelet for her, but was hurt that he couldn’t give it to her in person. He endlessly supported her throughout the remainder of her Eras tour during the time they dated and even took part in one of her performances on stage with her dancers while wearing a silly costume to go along with it. Throughout his relationship with Swift, he’s embraced every single part of her – the glitter, the silliness, the bracelets, and the overall art. We never saw this type of support from Alwyn throughout Swift’s 6 year relationship with him even though she released a number of albums and went on a world tour during their time together. When they were together, it seemed as though Alwyn was threatened by her success, and Swift, to make him feel like more of a man, made herself seem smaller. That’s just not the case with Kelce. He truly couldn’t be prouder of Swift. He supports her, raves about her, and couldn’t be happier to see her thrive in what she does best.

Positive masculinity is a framework that emphasizes beneficial and healthy aspects of masculinity, focusing on traits like empathy, emotional expression, integrity, and respect, while rejecting harmful stereotypes such as aggression, violence, and domination. It encourages men to be accountable, challenge gender inequality, build respectful relationships, and embrace vulnerability as a strength. It involves a re-evaluation of what it means to be a man, shifting from rigid societal norms to a more authentic and emotionally intelligent identity. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key characteristics of positive masculinity 

• Emotional expression and vulnerability: Being able to openly express emotions and be vulnerable with others, without shame or feeling “emasculated”. 

• Respect and equality: Treating others with respect, being an ally for gender equality, and engaging in non-violent, empathetic, and tolerant relationships. 

• Integrity and accountability: Acting with integrity, taking responsibility for one’s actions, and using one’s influence for the common good. 

• Empathy and connection: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others, and building deeper, more intimate connections. 

• Courage and resilience: Displaying courage, perseverance, and resilience, not through aggression, but through inner strength and the willingness to overcome challenges. 

• Non-violence: Actively opposing violence and harassment and being a force for peace. 

• Authenticity: Living in a way that is true to one’s self, free from the confines of stereotypical societal expectations. 

Contrast with negative masculinity 

• Positive masculinity stands in contrast to what is sometimes called toxic masculinity,which involves rigid stereotypes, emotional suppression, dominance, and aggression. 

• It offers a healthier alternative that benefits not only the men who practice it but also their relationships and the wider community. 

The role in modern society 

• This framework is used in therapy and progressive discussions to help men and boys develop healthier identities. 

• It encourages men to engage in care work and to see gender equality as a benefit for everyone, including themselves. 

Ordinary isn’t a word that could describe Swift’s life. She’s not a woman that would ever want her life to go the traditional route. Of course she wants to get married and have children, but she’s never going to quit her love of art and creativity. She’s not one to ever quit what she loves, and that’s the root of it all. Kelce is the perfect man for Swift. He’s a man that she’s been writing songs about for 20 years. They have shared values of hard work and ambition, his public and supportive nature, his success-based confidence, and similar family-oriented backgrounds. Kelce is confident, successful, and not looking for a partner to “fix” him, allowing him to be a supportive and generous partner who celebrates Swift’s success instead of feeling threatened by it. Unlike some men who might be intimidated, he’s happy and whole on his own. He’s not intimidated by Swift’s success. Instead, he celebrates it.

In a recent interview with GQ, Kelce opened up about how he was simply a fan of Swift’s art. He said, ‘I get to be the plus one. I get to go and be that fan. Because I am a fan. I’m a fan of music. I’m a fan of art. And it’s so cool that I get to experience her being that plus one for me on the football field…. I feel that same enjoyment every time she comes to my shows.’ And in turn, Swift has supported Kelce in his career. According to him, he’s even made her a football fan. Since the start of their relationship, she’s learned a lot about the sport, and it’s something she wouldn’t have known otherwise. Kelce continued, ‘I sort of made her a football fan. She is the most engulfed fan now. She knows what the injury reports look like. She understands what special situations are, third and short—all these things because she just naturally loves to hear about my job. “I hadn’t experienced somebody in the same shoes as me, having a partner who understands the scrutiny, understands the ups and downs of being in front of millions. That was very relatable, seeing how exhausted she would get after shows. She may not think of herself as an athlete. She will never tell anyone that she is an athlete. But I’ve seen what she goes through. I’ve seen the amount of work that she puts on her body, and it’s mind-blowing.’

Taylor Swift is the epiphany of modern times as a woman – case in point. She’s living proof that a woman doesn’t ever have to settle for anything less than she deserves, and that’s in time, she will find her ‘happily-ever-after’ – no matter what it looks like for her. Love is about mutual respect, honesty, and kindness. For Swift, it’s exactly what Travis Kelce is. He’s in awe of her, and he’s someone who will never let it be forgotten. This isn’t just about marriage; but relationships as a whole. Swift is telling all the women in the world not to lose their independence and strength for anyone. Kelce is telling all the men out there that it’s totally bada** to be in awe of their partners and support their careers – even if the women are more successful and make more money than them.