Ariana Madix: The Modern Day Natasha Naginsky Of Sex And The City – And How Rachel Leviss Was NOT The Carrie Bradshaw In The Infamous 2022 Scandoval Cheating Betrayal

In getting to write about Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth’s fiasco following Parker’s great honorary career achievement, I got to reminisce on Sex And The City. More particularly, I was reminded of a storyline that involved Parker and Noth’s characters’ affair in season 3 of the original series. It was during the time when Carrie was in a relationship with Aidan, played by John Corbett, and Mr. Big was married to Natasha, played by Bridget Moynahan.

After several weeks of sex-filled randevouz and extremely passionate nights and days spent together, the affair came to end. Carrie ended it following her stay at the hospital. Not for herself, but for Natasha, who broke her tooth when she violently fell down the stairs as she tried to confront Carrie after she caught her in the home she’d shared with Mr. Big. In the aftermath, Carrie tracked Natasha down- practically stalking her to do it – wanting to apologize for hurting her. Natasha, in response, wasn’t having any of Carrie’s shit. She told her exactly as it was.

Natasha could easily be my favourite character. Not just in the Sex And The City universe, but generally. She’s just a fucking badass of a woman. She handled the betrayal caused by her husband and his mistress like a total pro. She was far more mature in handling the situation than I ever would. I’m not the only one who feels that way. Others do too. Natasha is often re-evaluated by audiences as an “unsung hero” of the series rather than a villain, representing maturity, self-assurance, and quiet elegance. While initially viewed through the lens of Carrie Bradshaw’s jealousy, modern analysis suggests her character embodies qualities worth aspiring to—specifically emotional intelligence, professional competence, and the ability to maintain dignity under immense pressure. To break it down more thoroughly:

Here is why Natasha Naginsky is considered a role model:

1. Exceptional Emotional Intelligence and Maturity 

• Grace Under Pressure: Despite being the victim of a public, humiliating affair, Natasha largely handled the situation with dignity, standing in stark contrast to the chaotic, emotional responses of Carrie.

• Wisdom Beyond Her Years: At 25, she demonstrated more stability and maturity than characters ten years older, focusing on building a life rather than indulging in petty drama.

• Setting Boundaries: When confronted with her husband’s infidelity, she did not immediately descend into a screaming match with the mistress; she took the high road, only establishing firm boundaries when forced to by the situation. 

2. Quiet Confidence and Self-Assuredness

• No Need for Validation: Unlike other characters who needed constant attention, Natasha was secure in herself, rarely seeking validation or dramatic stand-out moments.

• Unbothered by Judgment: She was unfairly labeled by others (e.g., “idiot stick figure with no soul”) but remained unswayed, showing a strong, internal sense of self.

• “Soft Domination”: Her demeanor is described as “controlled softness,” indicating a quiet, powerful authority that commands respect without needing to be loud or aggressive. 

3. Professional and Personal Success

• Achieving Goals: She worked at Ralph Lauren, exemplifying a poised, polished, and upwardly mobile professional, embodying 90s minimalism and “old money” style.

• Class Act: She is characterized as a “class act” who successfully navigated stressful life events—including a difficult first marriage—to eventually find a better, more secure life. 

4. Iconic, Minimalist Aesthetic

• “Quiet Luxury”: Her style—characterized by white clothing, creams, and clean, elegant tailoring—conveys an effortlessness and high status.

• Strategic Styling: Her wardrobe is seen as a form of “psychological styling” that projects security and, as some interpret it, makes others feel “safe yet slightly intimidated”. 

5. The Ability to Forgive and Move On

• Reinvention: Following her divorce, she did not become bitter, but rather moved forward, eventually finding happiness and re-evaluating the past with a mature, calm perspective.

• Finding Closure: In her return, she showed she was “fine,” having put the traumatic affair behind her, demonstrating true emotional resilience. 

Sex and the City star Bridget Moynahan herself noted that as fans have grown older, they have shifted from hating Natasha to realizing that she was the one who deserved to be supported, having been “set up to fail” by a toxic relationship. 

Throughout the Sex And The City run, Natasha was seen as the villain; someone who was standing in the way of Carrie and Mr. Big’s happiness. Compared to Carrie, she was seen as plain and boring; someone that Mr. Big himself probably found boring. In contrast to Carrie, Natasha always wore elegant colours. Her favourite were white and light pink. Carrie always used every excuse possible to use Natasha’s choice of wardrobe against her. In actuality, deep down, Carrie was jealous of Natasha because, in her mind, Natasha was living the life she always wanted with Mr. Big.

In all honesty, Natasha was a woman who was far more aspirational than any other on the show. She was done dirty, and I’d be all in to see her side of the story. She was the real hero of Sex And The City, and I totally would’ve watched a spinoff show based on Natasha’s life. She wasn’t anything Carrie portrayed her to be. She was a young, beautiful woman from a wealthy family with a job at Ralph Lauren, she embodies the ideal of a polished and sophisticated socialite. And even if she was that plain and boring woman Carrie portrayed her to be, there’d be absolutely nothing wrong with it. Sometimes, it’s exactly what the other person needs in their life in order to lead a better life for themselves and their life-partner.

We didn’t get to see Natasha officially break off her marriage to Mr. Big. That in itself was just so utterly shameful. That’s the one thing I absolutely would’ve loved to see on-screen. If she was such a fucking badass when Carrie approached her following the divorce, I can only imagine what a badass she was when she divorced Mr. Big. But if I could just imagine what their actual breakup would look like, I imagine Ariana Madix’s break up with ex-boyfriend Tom Sandoval following his affair with her best friend Raquel Leviss, now known as Rachel, as seen on the 10th season of Vanderpump Rules. Their nasty breakup was dubbed “Scandoval” by the media.

Ariana is currently dating New York City-based fitness coach Daniel Wai, while Tom is dating model Victoria Lee Robinson. Following the breakup with Tom, she revealed that she had 3 goals – to own a home, be on Broadway, and be the host of a dating show. By March 2023, she’d accomplished all three. Things are certainly looking up for her. In latest news, after Ariana sued Tom to force the sale of their shared home, as they disagreed on selling it, with a recent settlement announced earlier this month.

To say that “Scandoval” was messy would be an understatement, to say the least. It did make good TV, as scandal played out dramatically on Vanderpump Rules, with cameras capturing the fallout. Not just between Ariana, Tom, and Rachel, but the entire cast as well. In the aftermath of their split, which happened after Ariana saw an intimate video of Tom and Rachel together, they continued living together for two months and avoided each other at all cost during that timeframe. Ariana (finally) moved out in May 2023. They also continued filming the show following their split, but had no shared scenes. The very last time they were in a room together was during the season 10 reunion, and it was… let’s just call it interesting.

During the reunion episode, things escalated quickly between cast members. Even host Andy Cohen couldn’t handle the situation at large. He seemed to have completely lost patience for the cast of the show, especially once Rachel was amongst them. No matter how much she and Tom tried to defend themselves for what they’d done and the pain they’d caused Ariana, none of them wanted to listen, and it was made clear. Everyone was passionately defending Ariana in her name, but especially James Kennedy and Lala Kent. James and Tom even got into a physical altercation before James was stopped by Cohen and a producer. Most notably, the producer told James, ‘Use your words. Not your fist,’ as he pulled him away from Tom. James and Rachel were previously in a 5 year relationship and were even engaged, but you wouldn’t have known that just by watching the reunion show. He barely acknowledged Rachel the entire time she was present on stage, and when she came out, he couldn’t help but chuckle at her as she walked to her seat.

The person that did the least amount of talking all throughout the 2023 season 10 reunion was Ariana, even when she herself was the topic of discussion. It was definitely amusing to watch the entire fiasco unfold. It was almost comedic. Correction: it WAS comedic. Tom’s crocodile tears were the most hilarious, and Ariana’s “crew” was right to call him out on it. As he teared up, Tom faced Ariana and said, ‘I understand what I did was very, very tough. But understand that like I’m a human, I make mistakes. I made a terrible mistake. I hurt somebody I’ve never loved ever more in my entire life. I know that you don’t hate me but I want you to know I will. I will always love you. I will always be cheering you on from afar, always.’ Ariana, in turn, said to him, ‘I will not forgive him, and I will not be cheering him on from afar.’

The season 10 reunion was absolutely comical to have watched. Even if you know nothing about the show, which was exactly how I came into it, you find yourself laughing at everything that comes out of everyone’s mouths, but especially Tom. Everything that came out of his mouth was diabolical. I could say the exact same for Rachel. Through and through, from beginning to end, I was on Ariana’s side much like her cast mates. I personally don’t even know how she could be in the same room as her ex and his mistress following both of their betrayals. She must’ve been paid A LOT of money. But she looked sexy AF while facing them. Fans of the show labeled her outfit as the “revenge dress” – a bright red, cutout ensemble that showed off her toned tummy. She paired the fiery look with a slew of silver rings and long red nails.

The reunion episode was intense, but it certainly marked a sense of closure. a definitive break, with Ariana cutting ties with both Tom and Rachel, viewing the relationship with Tom as a “torture chamber” and seeing Rachel as dead to her. Ariana famously labeled the duo as “diabolical, demented, disgusting, subhuman,” and she was SO right. There were truly no worse people in her life than Tom and Rachel. Tom might’ve apologized and cried in his Oscar-worthy performance, but Rachel then revealed that Tom had asked her to keep certain details of their affair secret, adding another layer to the scandal. She, however, needed the weight of the lie off her shoulders, prompting her do disclose that she and Tom did, in fact, slept together at Tom and Ariana’s house while Ariana was at her grandmother’s funeral.

Sick. Sick. Sick. Just FUCKING sick.

I’m not saying that Ariana has completely been innocent throughout her time with Tom. She was a mistress herself when she first got together with him in 2014. The difference, however, was that she wasn’t Tom’s girlfriend’s supposed best friend; someone the girlfriend confided in, spent most of her time with, leaned on when she was questioning the life that she’d built with her boyfriend. That’s exactly what had happened in the “Scandoval” era. Rachel was acting like what a best friend when all the while she was fucking her boyfriend behind her back. She even had the audacity to discuss Ariana’s sex life with Tom and ask Ariana if, after 9 years, she was still attracted to him.

An affair with a best friend’s partner is a complex betrayal often driven by deep-seated psychological, emotional, and social factors rather than just physical attraction. Experts suggest that while such actions are sometimes premeditated, they often stem from a convergence of intense, unfulfilled personal needs, envy, and a desire to “test” or “win” a competition against the friend. To break it down more thoroughly:

1. The “Tested” Partner Attraction (Validation & Envy)

• Targeting Proven Quality: A best friend’s partner is already vetted, known, and trusted, making them an attractive target for someone with low self-esteem.

• Envy and Mimetic Desire: A woman might be drawn to her friend’s partner because she envies her friend’s life. The unconscious belief is that possessing the partner will allow her to inherit the friend’s happiness, status, or success.

• Validation through “Winning”: Taking a partner from a best friend can be a way to prove to oneself that they are “better” or more desirable than the friend, fulfilling a deep need for validation. 

2. The “Hidden Enemy” Mechanism

• Unconscious Hostility: While outwardly acting as a best friend, the perpetrator may harbor latent envy, jealousy, or resentment toward the friend.

• Schadenfreude (Joy in Misfortune): In some cases, the affair is motivated by a desire to destroy the friend’s happiness and see her suffer.

• Competition Dynamics: The friendship may be perceived as a competition in the mind of the betrayer, where the affair is the ultimate way to “win”. 

3. Emotional and Physical Drivers

• Filling a Void (Emotional Starvation):Women often cheat to fill emotional, not just sexual, needs. If the woman feels lonely, unappreciated, or unloved, and her friend’s partner provides attention, empathy, or flattery, she may rationalize the affair.

• Thrilling “Forbidden Fruit”: The risk involved makes the affair feel high-stakes and exciting, providing a “drug-like” dopamine rush.

• Compartmentalization: The person often disconnects their feelings for their friend from their actions with the partner, allowing them to convince themselves they are not actually hurting their friend. 

4. Proximity and Familiarity

• Easy Opportunity: Because of the close friendship, the partner is often around. This creates repeated opportunities for intimate conversations to cross boundaries, transforming a friendly connection into a romantic one. 

5. Self-Destructive Tendencies

• Self-Sabotage: The affair can be a form of self-destruction, punishing oneself by ruining a valuable friendship and creating chaos, sometimes stemming from guilt or deep personal insecurity.

• Lack of Boundaries: The individual may have poor personal boundaries and difficulty saying “no,” leading them to act on impulses. 

In summary, this type of affair is rarely about “falling in love” with the friend’s partner, but rather a reflection of the cheater’s own internal struggles, insecurities, and unaddressed negative feelings toward themselves or their friend.

The aftermath of Tom’s affair with Rachel has looked different for all three people involved. I’m not going to speak of Tom more than I should because a man like him doesn’t deserve to be spoken of more than he should. All I will say, though, is that whatever negative thing that happened to him was truly well-deserved. He’s probably the worst person that both Ariana and Rachel had ever encountered in their entire lives. He didn’t just cheat on Ariana. He cheated on her with multiple women. He had a full blown affair with her best friend. Then, when he was finally caught, all he could do was blame Ariana for his own actions. He blamed her for his mid-life crisis. He blamed her for him not feeling good about himself. He blamed her for his mojo and him feeling like less of a man. His excuse for the affair was that Rachel gave him everything that Ariana didn’t.

Reality looked completely different than Tom’s version of events. Truth be told, Ariana loved the SHIT out of Tom, and she gave him absolutely everything she had in her to try to make the relationship work; even more. Tom didn’t appreciate all that he had and everything she gave him one bit when they were together. Perhaps “Scandoval” was the best thing that could’ve ever happen to Ariana. It led to bigger and better things for her – both professionally and personally. She met Daniel only 10 days after she found out about the affair. It led her to a life that she truly deserved. It just fucking sucked that it took such deep betrayals from the two closest people to her in the world to get to where she is now.

Rachel also made something of herself in the aftermath of the scandal. Following her time on Vanderpump Rules, she left Hollywood completely. She’s had a change of careers. She now works as a trauma informed sound healer after going through a school dedicated to the cause. She’s also in a relationship with someone new after cutting ties with Tom completely. She alleged that was forced to drink and manipulated by an older man (Tom) into having sex. She started a podcast, Rachel Goes Rogue, in 2024, where she gave her perspective on the fallout between her and her former Vanderpump Rules costars in the wake of the romance that would rock the Bravosphere. Many of the stories shared on the podcast focused on healing her emotional wounds by atoning for past mistakes made and clarifying other misconceptions viewers had about her role in Scandoval. And while some on the Vanderpump Rules cast slammed her for constantly discussing the show — while, consequently making money off her storyline — Rachel persisted on, hoping that the lessons that she learned through her experience would help others.

Rachel’s actions were unforgivable. I can’t say that everyone at the season 10 reunion was wrong to call her out for the hurt that she’d caused to the woman she once called friend. Ariana’s anger towards Rachel was completely valid too. But there were much deeper issues that Rachel was going through at the time. She was vulnerable, and Tom obviously took advantage of that vulnerability to make the best of it for him and only him. As much as he wanted to prove that his actions weren’t malicious, or that they were done with malicious intent, it’s hard to believe that all that was true. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up cheating on his current girlfriend too.

While I want to say that Ariana is the modern day Natasha Naginsky, it’s only true in the way she handled the entire “Scandoval” showdown. The actual betrayal was far worse than anything Natasha had gone through. Not only did the person she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with cheated on her with another woman, but he cheated with her best friend, and her best friend continued on with the friendship while she was sleeping with her man. I can’t even imagine being in Ariana’s shoes. And as much as I want to blame Rachel for what had happened and label as her as the Carrie in the situation, that’s not entirely true. She was obviously going through something much deeper than what anyone could understand at the time. She wasn’t in love with Tom like Carrie was with Mr. Big. She wasn’t taken advantage of by a despicable man.

It’s fairly safe to say that Ariana and Rachel will NEVER be friends again. Too many lines were crossed and the hurt was too deep for a friendship to ever be repaired between them. And yet, good things came out of the entire situation – for both of them. Dale Carnegie once said, ‘Develop success from failures.Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.’ That’s exactly what both Ariana and Rachel did in their own respective paths.