Samantha Jones: How Her Relationship With Smith Jarrod Was More Important Than People Realized – And The True Insignificance Of Her Friendships With Carrie, Miranda, And Charlotte

Perhaps the best relationship ever portrayed in the entire Sex And The City franchise was the one between Samantha Jones and actor Smith Jarrod. To say that it was a surprise would be an understatement, especially considering who Samantha was to begin with. Samantha was always a bold go getter and sexually out there. She wasn’t a smart, sophisticated, intelligent, independent woman who never let a man or woman get too close to her. Something in her drastically changed when she met Smith.

Samantha met Smith completely by chance when he was her waiter while out at dinner. She was immediately attracted to him, but only physically speaking. Their relationship grew from casual encounters to deep love, with Smith even changing his name to Jerry Jerrod to honor Samantha. They supported each other through major life events, including Samantha’s breast cancer diagnosis, where Smith shaved his head with her.

Emotional distance was something that Samantha kept with everyone she’d ever encountered; Smith included. She tried to keep their relationship between them strictly casual, but Smith wanted their connection to mean something, and refused to let her sabotage it. He was the one man in her life that put up with her fear of commitment in order to champion their love. There were times where Samantha treated him like piece of shit and he STILL refused to leave her side. One moment that was truly crushing to see was when Samantha cheated on Smith with her ex, Richard. Not only was it crushing to see the look on Smith’s face when she got into the elevator with Richard, but also discovering that he’d waited patiently for her in the lobby, knowing what she’d been upstairs doing and still wanting to be sure she got home safe.

I fully expected Smith to leave as soon as the elevator door closed. He had every right to be angry at Samantha. He had every right to be insulted, angry, and hurt, but true to Smith’s character, he was open, forgiving, and more concerned about Samantha’s feelings than his own. That particular moment was honestly frustrating to watch. Samantha certainly didn’t deserve Smith’s heart. I can’t even imagine being in his shoes and comprehend the depth of his emotions when he watched his girlfriend leave him for her ex-boyfriend at the party that she made him attend. He might’ve been over a decade younger than Samantha, but he was certainly had the emotional maturity of a man with incredible integrity.

Smith, in all his glory, was gorgeous, loving, and sweet. He had no ego whatsoever, despite his increasing fame, and he was eternally faithful to Samantha. Even when she wasn’t good to him, he was still good to her. Samantha’s biggest hurdle was that she was emotionally distant with him. By being his publicist, she found herself a way around having to be emotionally invested in him — he should be viewed as single for the positive optics with his fans. She didn’t attend premieres with him, and perhaps most telling of all, refused to hold his hand when he reached out. It took the entire sixth season for Smith to be able to get her to open up to him, and this was most notably because her breast cancer diagnosis made her vulnerable. It was the most vulnerable she’d ever felt in her entire life, and even though a man his age and his looks could get any woman who laid eyes on him, he chose her – every single time.

Up until the very end of the sixth season, Samantha pushed Smith away. She found every reason to do so, with the last one being her not being able to have sex due to the side effects of chemotherapy. She even told him could sleep with other women. No matter how much she tried to push him away, though, Smith wouldn’t let her down. It was only in the series finale that Samantha finally gave him her absolute all. It was when he missed his night flight to go for a shoot just to come home to tell her he loved her that finally made Samantha feel special and worthy of him and the love he had for her.

Fans of the show have long argued whether Samantha deserved Smith. There’s been debates on this subject because she often sabotaged their healthy, loving, but unconventional relationship by seeking validation from her past, especially with Richard, despite Smith’s unwavering, almost too-perfect support during her cancer battle, highlighting her deep-seated fear of true intimacy and self-sabotage rather than a lack of love for Smith. Some felt Smith was “too good” and their dynamic became boring, while others saw her actions as a sign she needed to confront her own emotional issues rather than settling for a relationship that challenged her. To break it down more thoroughly:

Reasons Fans Feel Samantha Didn’t Deserve Smith:

• Cheating with Richard: The most cited reason is Samantha sleeping with her ex, Richard, while with Smith, despite Smith’s immense support and love, making her seem ungrateful.

• Self-Sabotage: Some viewers believe her actions stemmed from a fear of being truly loved and vulnerable, making her push away the perfect partner she’d found.

• Clash with Smith’s Purity: Smith’s unconditional love and devotion made him seem “too perfect,” which some felt didn’t fit Samantha’s chaotic, independent persona and made the relationship feel less exciting or believable.

• Ignoring Her Needs: While Smith was supportive, some felt Samantha’s actions showed she prioritized her past issues (like her fear of commitment with Richard) over the stable, loving future Smith offered. 

Why Some Defend Samantha (or the Relationship):

• Growth & Choice: Others see her actions as part of her journey, showing her growth by ultimately choosing herself and her own path in the And Just Like That… storyline, even if it meant moving on from Smith.

• Emotional Complexity: Some viewers interpret her actions as a manifestation of her internal struggles with intimacy, a way of testing the boundaries of a relationship that was “too good” for her. 

No man ever had the power to break Samantha’s heart. It wasn’t that she was afraid of commitment, but rather that she didn’t want it for herself. Out of her all the three women she called friends, she was the one person who wasn’t actively looking for love. She was her own person; a sexual being. She didn’t need anyone to take care of her. She did that all on her own. She didn’t need a man in her life. She needed her independence; her freedom.

Samantha was fierce, but her breast cancer journey was showed a glimpse into the soft centre behind the breezy, unbothered demeanour—and while men certainly didn’t have the power to break her heart, the sweetness of her relationship with Smith Jared felt like a testament to her commitment to living life by her own rules. She was allowed her moments of vulnerability, which were all the more touching because she seemed so utterly evolved beyond the petty troubles of mere mortals.

Smith broke all of Samantha’s barriers. He was the only man that ever could. He was patient. He was kind. He was nurturing. He was everything that Samantha didn’t expect to want in her life. Their story was a love affair made for the books. That said, it truly pissed me the heck off when they broke up in the first Sex And The City movie. But much as I hate them breaking up, it lead to a very powerful quote that actually helped me get through a miscarriage: “Some love stories aren’t epic novels, some are short stories. But that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.”

As much as Samantha loved Smith, she truly had a hard time being in a committed relationship. She even developed an eating disorder, which was something her friends shamed her for, whilst she was in a relationship with Smith for 3 years. She used food as a means to help her cope with the stress that was brought on her by being in a relationship. As much as she loved Smith, she realized she still needed her independence and self-respect. Like she told him, just as she told Richard before him, ‘I love you, but I love me more.’

Love isn’t enough to make a long lasting relationship work. Over time, love morphs. Love changes. You can love a person but not be IN love with them. You can grow out of love with them. That’s exactly what happened between Samantha and Smith in the first movie. She loved Smith, but she wasn’t IN love with Smith. She even compared her relationship with him to chemo when discussing it with her friends. That was the moment she realized that, indeed, the relationship between them had run its course.

Even though their romantic relationship ended, their connection didn’t. Samantha remained friends with Smith following their breakup, which wasn’t anything she ever did with anyone she was ever involved with. It showcased just how special Smith was to her, even as a platonic partner. Their bond and connection for one another was a forever thing. The first movie’s ending left their future uncertain, but given their deep history, many viewers hoped for a reunion, and later developments in And Just Like That…confirmed they remained a significant part of each other’s lives, with potential for more. I personally didn’t see a reunion coming between them following their breakup. I saw their relationship thereafter being strictly a platonic friendship between two people who had a lot of love and respect for one another.

Kim Cattrall, the woman behind the character, was very adamant in her decision not to ever come back to the role of Samantha following the 2010 sequel. In fact, plans for a third Sex And The City movie were scratched after she refused to take part in it. This decision largely had to do with Cattrall’s longstanding feud with Sarah Jessica Parker. That meant that we, the hardcore fans of the original series, haven’t seen her since 2010. She did, however, make a 71 second appearance on And Just Like That, and it was totally worth it. It’s been reported that Cattrall received a whopping $1 million paycheck for that little cameo – a total badass move, if you ask me.

When the three remaining women of Sex And The City came back for the revival that literally no one asked for, it was revealed that Samantha moved to London and cut ties with the three women; more particularly, with Carrie. She and Carrie no longer required Samantha’s public relations services. This move felt like somewhat of a like betrayal of a character whose friendships were always of utmost importance to her. To ghost her beloved ladies over a perceived slight is seriously off-brand for Samantha, who, along with Miranda, was always the more emotionally mature of the quartet.

Platonic breakups is a topic not often explored in pop culture, with the demise of romantic relationships always being treated as the more devastating of the two, and there seems to be much material to be mined from it. It’s a shame, really. Friendship breakups can be devastating; even more so than any romantic breakup. If anything, I wish And Just Like That would’ve divulged into the hardships of a friendship breakup than anything else. Perhaps maybe then, the series would’ve been more relatable. I myself would’ve loved to see that. In my own life, the biggest heartbreak I’d ever gone through wasn’t a romantic breakup, but a friendship breakup. It was a 9 year friendship that started in college. She was my soulmate. Nothing really happened. We just grew apart after life took us on different paths. Nevertheless, our ending broke me.

Instead of putting more focus on friendship, the series heavily focused on Carrie’s grief after losing her beloved Big, not Samantha, as at the end of the first episode, Big succumbed to a heart attack after an intense session on his Peloton. Carrie’s signature voiceover was only present in the episode’s final moments as she says, “and just like that, Big died.” That focus was flawed. Carrie was unrecognizable. If she was hated for how she was in the late 90s and early 2000s, the 2020s were gruelling times for her. She was a complete mess. So were her friends.

Watching And Just Like That was brutally painful. I would’ve been far more invested in a show that revolved around Samantha’s life. She was always someone who distinctly stood out because she was fundamentally secure in who she was, providing a stark, empowering contrast to the romantic anxieties of the other three protagonists. She was a much more compelling character than the rest because of her unwavering confidence, refusal to conform to societal norms, and unapologetic pursuit of pleasure and self-fulfillment. Unlike the other characters who often struggled with their identities or relationship goals, Samantha was defined by her independence, career success, and a “girls’ girl” loyalty that made her a consistent, often humorous force within the group. 

Here are the reasons why Samantha Jones is often considered a more interesting character than the rest of the cast in 

Sex and the City:

• Unapologetic Sexuality and Sexual Empowerment: Unlike her friends, Samantha embraced her sexuality without shame, judgment, or the need for validation from men. She treated sex with the same casual, recreational attitude often attributed to men, breaking traditional gender norms.

• Independence and Self-Sufficiency: Samantha was fiercely independent and prioritized her own needs, career, and pleasure above finding a partner. She was the only character who did not define her happiness through a relationship, making her journey more dynamic and refreshing.
• Unwavering Loyalty and Lack of Judgment:While often brutally honest, Samantha was exceptionally loyal to her friends and rarely judged them for their choices, even when she disagreed. She provided unconditional support, acting as a rock for the group, particularly for Carrie.

• Confidence and Self-Assurance: She possessed a profound sense of self-worth and confidence, refusing to let societal expectations or criticisms dictate her life choices.

• Evolution Beyond the Stereotype: Although initially introduced as the “hyper-sexual” archetype, the show developed her character to reveal a deep capacity for love and vulnerability (e.g., her relationship with Smith).

• Directness and Lack of Drama: Samantha was direct and avoided petty drama, making her scenes refreshing compared to the emotional rollercoaster often experienced by the other characters

Here is what made Samantha Jones a more interesting character than the rest:

1. Unapologetic Sexual Freedom and Independence

• A Trailblazer: Samantha was ahead of her time, rejecting the idea that women needed men to be happy. She approached sex with a high degree of agency, often treating it like a “try-sexual” (willing to try anything once).

• “I Love Me More”: Her iconic, defining moment came when breaking up with Richard, stating: “I love you, too, Richard, but I love me more”. This underscored her refusal to sacrifice her happiness for a romantic relationship, which contrasted with the often desperate romantic pursuits of Carrie and Charlotte.

• Not Shamed by Age: As the oldest of the group, she never acted differently as she grew older, becoming more confident in her own skin and proving that sexual appetite is not defined by age. 

2. A “True Feminist” Who Knows Her Worth 

• Assertive and Self-Assured: Samantha never allowed herself to be walked over and constantly reminded people of her worth. She was unbothered by what others thought of her, which was a “fantasy” for many viewers to watch.

• Career-Driven: She was highly successful and independent, running her own PR firm and supporting herself financially, which allowed her to navigate Manhattan on her own terms.

• Unbiased Support: She rarely judged her friends’ actions, offering support instead of criticism, particularly when Carrie was engaging in an affair. 

3. A Loyal and Protective Friend

• Big Softie Deep Down: While appearing tough on the outside, she was profoundly loyal and protective of her friends. She was known for “putting Big in his place” and defending her friends fiercely.

• Supportive in Crises: When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in season six, she faced the challenge with immense strength and candor,, providing some of the most emotionally resonant moments in the show. 

4. Consistency and Comedic Timing

• Reliable for Humor: Samantha was often the most consistent source of humor, with the best one-liners and the most iconic quotes.

• A Steady Anchor: In a show where characters often “floundered,” Samantha remained steadfast in her ways. 

5. A “Jezebel” Who Embraced Insecurities 

• The “Jezebel” Archetype: She was described as the “Jezebel” (a non-conformist and sensualist), who unapologetically embraced her sexuality and rejected conventionality.

• Vulnerability Behind the Facade: While often portrayed as having no weaknesses, her story with Smith Jerrod and her struggle with breast cancer revealed a deeper, more vulnerable side that showed that her confidence did not come with a complete lack of insecurity. 

In contrast to the romantic idealism of Charlotte, the cynical pragmatism of Miranda, and the “floundering” of Carrie, Samantha’s “blasé attitude” and unapologetic life choices made her a modern and aspirational figure. 

Through and through, Samantha showcased a sense of self-worth that was never lost in while living in a world that endlessly aimed to shame her for just being herself. It was a world that constantly tried to change her; make her less than. The one person in her life that never disappointed her or mistreated her was Smith. He accepted every single thing about her; even the parts she didn’t like about herself. That’s something her own friends – the people she accepted and loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally – failed to do.

Longtime fans of the Sex And The City franchise certainly had their fair opinions on how Samantha’s absence from And Just Like That was handled by the team of writers. It’s been argued that Samantha’s reasoning for ending her friendship with the three women was very much out of character for her. Truth be told, the friendship between Samantha and the three women should’ve actually ended way before it did. The final straw for Samantha ending her friendship with the women, particularly Carrie, did raise an interesting point as to just where we draw the line, and which boundaries are the last to be crossed before reaching breaking point.

In the time we saw Samantha with the women, she’s always been a ride-or-die type of friend. She’d done things for them that she wouldn’t have done for anyone in her life. She’d defended them, supported them, and went above and beyond for them. All those things weren’t anything she’d gotten in return. A lot of the times, I questioned why she was friends with them to begin with. They didn’t serve to have her as a friend. It seemed as though she’d settled in her friendships with them. She always showed up for them, but they didn’t do the same for her.

There’s been a wild theory that Samantha was never actually close to the three women at all, but used them as a secondary source of comfort, inspiration and friendship that had nothing to do with work. She had her own PR firm. Her life revolved around the social networking life and constantly being around famous and wealthy people such as Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, and Lucy Lui. And maybe, just maybe, Samantha was using her friendships with Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte as a means to escape that world until Carrie’s decision to not continue working with her was affecting her business and livelihood. If that’s truly the case, her reason to end the friendship wasn’t petty at all.

No matter the case, I’m glad that we saw Samantha through to the end of the sixth season. We wouldn’t have gotten to see someone like Smith in her life had she ended the friendship with the three women sooner than she did. He wasn’t someone she wanted in her life. He was someone she NEEDED in her life. And he came at exactly the right time. He showed her the real essence of what true love looked like when someone doesn’t have an ounce bit of an agenda in them. He was a man that didn’t just look at her, but saw her. Like ACTUALLY saw her. He gave her the push to be exactly the woman she always wanted to be. He made her realize that no matter how strong and independent of a woman she was, she still wanted to be taken care of…by him.