Jesy Nelson: A Mother Turning A Failed Career Into Something Much Bigger Than What She Ever Envisioned For Herself – And What Her Breakup With Zion Foster Can Tell Us About The Toll Parenting A Child With A Disability Can Take On A Relationship

The most powerful thing a woman could ever do for herself is to never settle for anything less than what she deserves. In the previous blog entry, we looked at how Samantha Jones never settled for anything less than what she deserved. Not in her relationships, her friendships, nor her work. She was a woman who always knew her worth, and she wasn’t ever going to allow anyone in her life tell otherwise. Her story and character arc was absolutely beautiful and aspirational to all women in the world.

Another woman who time and time again showed that she, like the fictional Samantha Jones, never settled was Jesy Nelson of Little Mix. The British girl group was formed in 2011 after Nelson and the three other women – Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, and Leigh-Anne Pinnock – auditioned on The X Factor UK. They were the ONLY band to win the competition, and went on to do amazing things in the years since until they disbanded in 2022. Nelson left the band in 2020 following a series of mental health issues. Following her departure, she tried to make it as a solo artist, but after a string of bad decisions it failed to uphold. Those decisions led to a friction in the friendship and close bond that she once shared between her and her bandmates. These bad decisions had to do with culture appropriation.

Following her departure from Little Mix, Nelson signed with Polydor Records, releasing “Boyz” in October 2021, featuring Nicki Minaj and interpolating Diddy’s “Bad Boy for Life”. After parting ways with her label, she released “Bad Thing” independently, emphasizing control and empowerment, as seen in its music video addressing domestic violence. The initial reception to “Boyz” was polarized due to its cultural appropriation aspects and rollout, but “Bad Thing” showcased a more mature, personal direction. As of 2026, Nelson continues to work on solo music, with fans eagerly awaiting her debut album, as she navigates her independent path in the music industry. 

None of that seems to matter anymore. Now, with the news of her twin girls’ new diagnosis, all of Nelson’s efforts are now being put into using her platform to bring awareness into SMA Type 1. This disease, Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) Type 1, also known as Werdnig-Hoffmann disease, is the most severe form of this genetic neuromuscular disorder, causing profound muscle weakness, poor head control, feeding/swallowing issues, and breathing difficulties, with symptoms appearing from birth to 6 months, often leading to significant mortality before age two, though newer treatments are improving outcomes. Infants with Type 1 SMA are very “floppy,” never achieve sitting unsupported, and have a characteristic “bell-shaped” chest due to weak respiratory muscles.

Key Characteristics

• Onset: Birth to 6 months.

• Muscle Weakness: Severe hypotonia (floppiness) and weakness, especially in proximal (closer to the body) muscles.

• Motor Skills: Poor head control; inability to sit without support; limited kicking or movement.

• Feeding & Swallowing: Difficulty sucking, swallowing (dysphagia), and managing secretions (drooling).

• Breathing: Weak intercostal muscles lead to a bell-shaped chest, paradoxical breathing (belly breathing), and frequent respiratory infections.

• Tongue: Tremors (fasciculations) are common.

• Cognition: Mind and intellect are typically normal. 

Prognosis & Treatment

• Historically, most children with SMA Type 1 died before age two due to respiratory failure.

• New treatments (gene therapies, medications) are significantly improving life expectancy and motor function, with many children now reaching milestones like sitting or standing with support that were previously impossible.

• Management focuses on supportive care, including respiratory support (like non-invasive ventilation) and feeding assistance, alongside disease-modifying therapies. 

I watched the video where Nelson initially first spoke of her twins girls’, Ocean and Story, SMA Type 1 diagnosis. As a mother, my heart broke for her as I watched the 12 minute clip. Even more so, my heart broke for her as a mother to a disabled child. I empathized with her. I understood exactly what she was going through, as I’d gone through it myself. My son is 3 years old and I’m still going through it. The job to advocate for your child never ends, even after they turn 18.

My son has autism. My job now, as his mother, is to make sure he lives the best possible life in a world that isn’t so kind to people who might be “different”. I have to make decisions for him that will affect him for the rest of his life. These decisions include the school he attends, the extracurricular activities his dad and I sign him up for, the therapies he attends, just to name a few. As a mother to someone with a disability who’ll have to adapt to be part of a society that’s not always accepting. I’m always petrified of making the wrong choice on his behalf. I’m always petrified of fucking up his future and the potential of him living the best possible life. I’m always petrified I’m not doing enough for him.

Parents of children with disabilities face significant physical, emotional, financial, and social hardships, including chronic stress, anxiety, depression, social isolation, and stigma, compounded by the high costs of care, difficulty accessing services, managing constant demands, and balancing work, leading to immense strain on their health, relationships, and finances. To break it down more thoroughly:

Emotional & Psychological Strain

• Stress, Anxiety, & Depression: Constant worry about their child’s future, health, and well-being leads to high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

• Grief & Guilt: Parents often experience complex emotions, including grief, guilt, and feelings of hopelessness.

• Isolation: Lack of understanding from others and limited opportunities for social interaction can lead to profound social isolation. 

Physical Demands

• Fatigue & Health Issues: The intense physical demands of caregiving result in fatigue, sleep problems, musculoskeletal pain, and other chronic health issues for parents.

• Chronic Care: Constant supervision and assistance with daily tasks are exhausting and time-consuming. 

Financial Burdens

• High Costs: Expenses for specialized therapies, equipment, assistive devices, home modifications, and respite care are substantial.

• Lost Income: One or both parents often reduce work hours or leave employment entirely to provide care, impacting family income. 

Social & Systemic Challenges

• Stigma & Misunderstanding: Families often face prejudice, stereotyping, and lack of understanding from communities, schools, and even healthcare systems.

• Access Barriers: Difficulty finding appropriate childcare, healthcare, and educational resources that meet their child’s unique needs is a major struggle.

• Work-Life Imbalance: Balancing unpaid care work with paid employment, especially for mothers, creates immense pressure and career limitations. 

Relationship Strain 

• The intense pressure can significantly strain marriages and partnerships, with studies showing high rates of relationship problems among these parents. 

These challenges often create a vicious cycle, where stress exacerbates isolation, making self-care harder and worsening emotional and physical health, highlighting the need for comprehensive support systems. 

Since announcing her daughters’ devastating diagnosis, it’s been reported that Nelson has split with her fiancé and father of her children, Zion Foster. The former couple started dating in 2022 after years of friendship and got engaged this past September after their daughters were born prematurely in May. Nelson announced her pregnancy in January 2025 and chronicled her high risk pregnancy on social media as the girls were diagnosed with twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS), a rare condition affecting identical tots who share a placenta. Nelson had in-utero surgery and spent several months under medical supervision.

Through everything, Foster showed his dedication for his partner and mother-to-be. But alas, love wasn’t enough to keep them together, and truthfully, I don’t blame them. Allegedly, this is now the third time they broke up. Again, it wasn’t a surprise. This man is, after all, only 26 years old. Nelson is 34. Just in this one year alone, the former couple had gone through so much turmoil; more than an average couple should go through. Experts suggest that in such traumatic situations, partners often cope differently, which can drive a wedge between them rather than bringing them together. Reports indicate that the focus of both individuals has shifted entirely to the care, comfort, and, medical needs of their daughters. The immense, sudden pressure of dealing with a severe, chronic illness in children often creates insurmountable stress for a couple. This situation can cause partners to experience immense emotional, physical, and financial strain, leading to “survival mode” rather than a functioning partnership.

Sources said of the split between Nelson and Foster, ‘She and Zion remain friends and are fully focused on their daughters. They are fully united in co-parenting. Their priority continues to be the well-being of their daughters.’ Raising a child, let alone two, can physically, emotionally and mentally draining. The stress, fear and heartbreak of situations like the one Nelson and Foster had been handed with can drive couples apart. The problems start when shock pushes the body into survival mode such as fight, flight or shutdown. From outside looking in, it looks like that’s exactly what had happened.

Clinical Psychologist Tracy King said, ‘This is not a conscious choice. It is a biological reaction. When we are under extreme stress, the thinking part of the brain that helps us organise communication, reflect, and respond thoughtfully can take a backseat. As a result, people may become more reactive, emotionally withdrawn, or struggle to listen and respond calmly. Communication can break down even in strong relationships, not because of a lack of love, but because the brain is prioritising survival. It is also very common for physical intimacy and sex to fall away during this period. From a biological perspective, when the body believes it is fleeing danger, it is not oriented toward connection, pleasure, or reproduction. The nervous system prioritises protection, not intimacy. Many couples misinterpret this as rejection or loss of attraction, when it is actually a normal stress response.’

Despite their reported breakup, Nelson and Foster have both showcased a commitment to being the best parents they could be, and they’re seemingly on good terms too as following Nelson’s TV appearance to talk about their daughters’ diagnosis, he called her a “superwoman”. And yet, people online had a lot to say about a situation they knew absolutely nothing about. One comment read, ‘As soon as I saw that their babies had had a horrific diagnosis, I knew he’d leave her.” Read a response to the video posted by The Sun. Another called him.’ Another comment read, ‘Some people reveal their true selves in crisis.’

Let me be clear…

No one is to blame. Foster isn’t to blame for the breakup between him and Nelson. The fact that they broke up doesn’t make him a bad guy by any means. It simply means that both he and Nelson couldn’t handle the pressures of their two daughters being disabled to make their relationship work. That’s all. Neither of them actually spoke out about the split, and the details of what had happened aren’t known to the public. One thing is clear, though, and it’s that Foster wholeheartedly publicly supports Nelson in her advocating for their daughters, as well as for other parents in the U.K so that they don’t have to go through what he and Nelson did.

Another thing that’s clear is that Foster is a good father to his daughters, and the breakup didn’t change any of it. The love between the exes and parents is still evident. It just morphed into a different type of love. In his post where Foster called Nelson a “superwoman”, he wrote, ‘A poem I wrote for Ocean & Story. We are all one. Jesy addressing a huge flaw in our healthcare system is the definition of a superwoman. Reality is, it’s indefensible and needs to be changed, simple. Test kids at birth for SMA in the UK now that there are revolutionary treatments available.’

Life changes in an instant once your child receives a diagnosis. It doesn’t even matter what diagnosis. It can be SMA, it can be autism, it can be ADHD, whatever. No matter the diagnosis, it’s hard; really fucking hard. The life you’d always envisioned for yourself isn’t your reality anymore, and start grieving for it. It’s like grieving the death of a loved one. Except you don’t have much time to grieve; or at all. Your priority shifts to the well-being of your special needs child. With that, you start forgetting to prioritize yourself and your relationship. That’s when the cracks start forming between yourself and your partner. Challenges that may arise include:

• Loss of intimacy

• Diminishment of free time individually and as a couple

• Feeling guilty about a child’s disability

• Denial by one parent of child’s diagnosis

• Focus on the child with special needs takes attention away from other children in family

• Child with a disability becomes the sole focus of conversation

Firsthand account of what having a child with a disability can do to a couple was witnessed by me in my childhood. It was my parents’ relationship. They’re still together and happy. But that’s never to say that they didn’t have their own share of hardships. Throughout my life, they separated twice. I’d witnessed what a couple can go through when they have a disabled child with my own eyes. In my childhood, I’d witnessed it as a third-party in my own home. While they managed to make it work between them, they’re one of the few.

Statistics on divorce for couples with special needs kids show mixed results, with some studies suggesting higher rates (around 90%) due to immense stress, while larger national studies find rates similar to the general population (around 20-25%), though stress levels are universally higher, with factors like severity, support, and coping mechanisms playing significant roles. While early media reports claimed very high rates (e.g., 80%), more rigorous research often doesn’t find that dramatic difference, indicating that while challenges are immense, some families do stay together. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key Findings & Figures:

• Higher Stress, Variable Divorce Rates: Parenting a child with disabilities brings unique stressors (financial, emotional, time-consuming), but the actual divorce rate’s link isn’t always clear-cut.

• Some Studies Show Higher Divorce:
  • One study found rates of 23-30% for autism families vs. 40-50% national average, Blossom ABA Therapy.
  • Another suggested 80% for autism, though this number is debated.
• Other Studies Show Similar Rates:
  • A large NIH-funded study found divorce rates around 22% for parents of children with developmental disabilities, similar to comparison groups (20%), National Institutes of Health (NIH) | (.gov).

• Factors Influencing Stability:
  • Severity & Type of Disability: Rates can vary (e.g., Down Syndrome sometimes lower than other conditions).
  • Support Systems: Strong community, family, and therapeutic support helps.
  • Parental Coping: Individual and couple coping mechanisms are crucial.
  • Age of Child: Risk might decrease as children get older, according to CerebralPalsy.org. 

Why the Discrepancy?
Research is complex, with different methodologies and focus areas (e.g., ASD vs. all disabilities, short-term vs. long-term). While the stress on marriages is undeniable, many large studies find that parents of children with disabilities don’t necessarily divorce at dramatically higher rates than the general population, even if they face greater challenges, Disability Scoop. 

In summary: Expecting a higher divorce rate is common due to the intense pressures, and while some data supports this, other large studies show similar outcomes to general divorce rates, highlighting the strong, resilient nature of many families in these situations. 

Having a disabled child, let alone two like Nelson and Foster, isn’t something you envision in your life. You certainly don’t prepare yourself for it. You always think this sort of thing happens to other people; never you. I never thought it would be my life. I don’t think Nelson herself thought this would be her life either with her two children. And yet, here we are. Not only am I a mother of a special needs child, but I’m a disabled mother to a special needs child.

Never in a million years since my son’s devastating diagnosis did I ever think to give up on him, and neither did my husband. Our son is our main priority. But so is our marriage, as well as ourselves as individuals. A study found that approximately 90% of marriages in families with children on the autism spectrum end in divorce. We don’t want to be part of that ratio. It is a sad truth that couples of children with special needs face a much higher divorce rate than the rest of the married population. We understand it. We’re living it. We’re living and experiencing the hardships faced by parents of special needs children. Couples with healthy children are at risk of divorce. But those with disabilities are faced with even a greater risk.

Very early on in our journey as autism parents, my husband and I made a pact: that no matter what, no matter how are it gets, we’ll always make time for each other, and we’ll always be a team. I guess that’s the real secret to our marriage. Mind you, I’m not saying we’re the poster child for marriage or parents of special needs children. I’m simply sharing my own insight on the subject of marriage while raising a child with a disability.

It’s not a tragedy that Nelson and Foster broke up. It’s not a surprise either. He’s still there for her and their daughters, just in different form. But the breakup between them isn’t important, nor should it even be talked about. What should be talked about instead is the crucial need to spread awareness to a cause that Nelson is now a part of – advocating for children with disabilities.

It’s sad that Nelson’s solo career following her time in Little Mix didn’t work out. I personally loved her second single, “Bad Thing” and resonated with it on a personal level. She could’ve done great things and achieved a great amount of success musically had she not made the choices that she made. That, now, doesn’t matter either. Now, she can use the platform that she’s built for a cause – a cause that she’s a part of – to make sure that no new parent will ever go through what she and Foster are now going through.