The Love Never Sets: The Psychology Of A Narcissistic Parent – And The Consequences Of It All For Those Involved

While writing my previous blog entry on A Man On The Inside’s Julie Kovalenko’s character arc, which saw Julie’s mother come back into her life after a long estrangement and Julie slowly regaining a trust in her mother’s intentions in rebuilding their relationship, I was reminded of a story arc seen in a Thai drama series called The Love Never Sets. The 2025 series starred Weerapat Toemmaneerat as Ice and Ja Phachara as Saint.

As the story goes, after being violated by Mint, his college professor, Ice dropped out of school but was forced into the adult film industry. He then saw himself returning to school and was set to shoot a gay-themed movie, with his co-star being none other than Saint, with whom he had a falling out. When the two meet again, Ice confronted Saint with his pent-up resentment, yet during the filming, they engaged in the most intimate acts that only the closest of people would do.

Personally I found the show to be bland and boring. It had a lot of potential, but alas, the greatness that could’ve been just never came throughout the 13 episode arc. The two leads had very little chemistry; if any. Them kissing or having any sort of intimate moments together felt like I was watching tsk acquaintances brutally forcing themselves to be more than friendly with one another and absolutely hating it. It was truly hard to watch. The supporting cast had more chemistry between them. They were far more interesting than the main leads. Their portrayals were more believable than that of the main relationship we, the viewers, were supposed to root for. Their portrayals two female supporting actresses, Nikita Parkin and JaJa Jutarat Thanapan, who played lesbian couple Sea and Lanee, are now getting a spinoff series, and honestly, it’s well deserved. They were great together.

I wasn’t the only one who thought The Love Never Sets wasn’t that great. Based on viewer reviews, The Love Never Sets (Thai BL, 2025-2026) was considered a disappointing or “bad” show primarily due to poor acting performances, frustrating character writing, and a slow, repetitive plot, despite having a high-potential, dramatic premise. To break it down more thoroughly:

Here are the main reasons critics and viewers disliked the show:

• Weak Acting Performances: A major criticism was directed at the main lead who played Ice, who was described as having a “statuesque,” expressionless, and confused look throughout the series, failing to deliver in emotional or dramatic scenes.

• Frustrating Character Development & Plot: The show was criticized for taking “one step forward and ten steps back” over its 12+ episodes. Characters often failed to communicate, leading to unnecessary, repetitive, and forced drama.

• Poor Handling of Serious Themes: While the show touched on heavy topics like trauma and abuse, reviewers felt the writing failed to properly address the characters’ healing journeys.

• Tedious Pacing: The storyline was described as moving very slowly, causing some viewers to become bored or feel the show was too drawn out.

• Unlikable Characters & Excessive Toxicity: The show featured many “horrid” characters, and the sheer volume of toxic, constant drama made it difficult for some to enjoy, even if they were interested in the main couple.

• Unsatisfying Finale: The ending was criticized for forcing a “happy ending” via extreme pardoning, which did not feel earned after the trauma shown earlier in the series. 

But despite these criticisms, those who watched the show praised the production quality, music, and the sub-plot involving supporting characters, which was, in some cases, considered better acted than the main plot.  IMDB gave the series a rating of 6.8 out of 10. Again, the show had a lot of potential. It had a great plot; something I could relate to and resonate with. But I just wasn’t feeling it. I was particularly disappointed in Ice’s poor execution. Maybe the actor who portrayed him needed miss experience to be able to portray the essence of the character and all that he’d been through.

Ice met Saint when he was hired by Saint’s father to be his tutor. Little did he know that Saint and Ice would spark a romance with one another. They liked each; maybe even loved each other. They envisioned a future together. They had everything going for them. Nothing was going to tear them apart… until Saint’s father found out what Saint had been doing behind his back. His own son being in a relationship with another man felt like a betrayal to a family name. Saint was supposed to fall in love with a woman, marry her, and have children with her. That said, Saint’s father was on a mission to make sure that Saint was never to see Ice, the one who was in the way of his plan for Saint’s life, and keep him away from him. He locked Saint up in his room, not allowing him to leave despite his pleas. He had others watching over Saint’s shoulder to make sure he couldn’t get away. He took Saint’s phone and texted Ice as if he was Saint to break off the relationship. When Ice came to speak to Saint directly, Saint’s father told him he was with his girlfriend.

Saint wasn’t with his girlfriend. He didn’t even have a girlfriend. But Ice believed all the lies, and Saint had no way of telling him the truth; the real truth. They remained separated, and a lot happened to Ice between their separation and reunion. He was raped by his professor, and then by his father’s debt collectors. After dropping out of school, he returned some time later, and it was during that time that he was forced into the porn industry. His next film had to do with a gay-themed love story, and his co-star was none other than Saint. Not only was Saint his new co-star, but he was his new roommate as well.

Thinking that Saint had lied to him; that he never loved him in the first place and had used him, Ice retaliated against Saint every time he tried to get closer to him. Understanding that Ice’s resentment towards him had far more to do than what had actually happened between them, he asked his friends what had actually happened to Ice during the in-between that made him so angry. Not knowing how to actually tell him, Sea, who also worked on the film behind the camera, gave him Ice’s diary to read. It was only after reading Ice’s diary that he finally understood just how much he unintentionally hurt him.

Trusting again after sexual assault is a personal journey requiring time, self-compassion, and, when ready, gradual, open communication with a partner. Healing involves managing triggers, establishing firm boundaries, and rebuilding a sense of safety, often supported by therapy or counseling to navigate intimacy challenges. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key Aspects of Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy:

• Prioritize Healing First: Focus on your own recovery—through counseling, yoga, or hobbies—before rushing into a relationship. Healing is about learning to live with the past, not erasing it.

• Set Your Own Pace: There is no timeline for recovery or for trusting again. Move at a speed that feels safe and comfortable for you.

• Effective Communication: When dating, being honest about your needs, boundaries, and triggers builds trust. You do not have to share every detail of your past; share only what you are comfortable with.

• Identifying Triggers: Understand that certain sounds, smells, or actions may trigger a trauma response (e.g., panic attack, flashback), which is a normal reaction that you cannot always control.

• Supportive Partner Behavior: A supportive partner should respect your boundaries, validate your feelings, and take time to educate themselves about sexual trauma. 

Recovering from sexual assault takes time, and the healing process can be painful. That very pain was portrayed in Ice’s character arc. He was dealing with that pain alone, and in his dealing, he didn’t allow anyone into his life. He’d built a wall around himself as not to allow anyone too close. Saint tried aimlessly to break down those walls.

Generally speaking, dating as a rape and abuse survivor often brings out traumatic memories, sensations, and emotions because of past experiences. When a current partner is empathetic, educated, and understanding, however, that can make dating easier to manage for both parties. Trauma impacts the mind, body, and soul. Intimate relationships can produce intense trauma reactions because these situations often cause the strongest reminders of a harmful past, and the body and brain react based on these past memories. This can manifest in a number of ways, from fear of physical intimacy and trust issues, to flashbacks and body memories, to a fight-to-flight response.

Recovery is, indeed, possible after facing such a traumatic event. But it takes time. It takes healing, patience and determination. Above anything else, however, recovery takes courage. Saint desperately wanted to help Ice any way he knew how to. It didn’t even matter to him if it was him being there as a boyfriend or a friend. He just wanted Ice to know that he was always going to be there; through and through. He kept his promise to Ice. He was always there. He never gave up on him. And when Saint told him what had actually happened that led to their separation, Ice realized that he’d given up on Saint too soon.

Intimacy is a big part of a healthy relationship, but it’s not all about sex. In The 5 Love Languages, author Gary Chapman shared how people show their emotion in five different ways. That includes physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts. Sex, in essence is a small part of intimacy. It’s just one way to be intimate with your partner. The way your partner chooses to communicate their affection is an important aspect of their personality to explore, especially if they’ve been sexually assaulted.

Saint became Ice’s safe space. They had a high level of intimacy, even before they became an official couple again, in many ways that didn’t involve sex at all. Saint regained Ice’s trust again by him simply showing up. He showed up in the smallest of ways, but these small ways meant everything to Ice because no one was ever there for him in the ways Saint was. No matter how much Ice pushed him away, Sent never strayed, and that meant everything.

Patience was key in Sant and Ice’s relationship to succeed. Saint never pushed Ice to do anything he didn’t want to; that included sex. It was Ice who initiated sexual when they got back together. It was after Ice’s surprise birthday party that Saint officially asked him to be his boyfriend. He promised Ice that he’d do better this time; that he’d be better. He promised that he wouldn’t allow his father stand in the way of their relationship. It was a promise that he made sure he kept.

Saint’s father spied on Saint upon finding out that he rekindled his relationship with Ice. The professor that raped Ice stabbed Saint when he went to get revenge on him for what he’d done. It landed him in the hospital. When Ice went to see him, yet again his father blocked him from doing so. This time, he didn’t feel he needed to get permission to see the one he loved. He just took a leap of faith and went in to the hospital room to be with Saint whether his father liked it or not. His father, like before, aimed to separate Saint and Ice. He left Ice a letter commanding him to stay away from Saint forever, and with the letter he included a cheque. Without any hesitation or remorse, Ice went in to the hospital room, and he and Saint made things clear: They’d always choose each other no matter what. ‘But you’re my son. I command you…’ Saint’s father firmly and confidently said. No. Saint and Ice left the hospital together as Saint’s father watched them out the window. It seemed as though he just couldn’t believe that Saint chose someone that wasn’t him.

A parent controlling an adult child often stems from anxiety, difficulty letting go, or a desire to protect, manifesting as overparenting (helicoptering) or emotional manipulation. This behavior creates unhealthy, enmeshed relationships, often causing the adult child to feel guilty, anxious, or incapable of self-efficacy. Key solutions include setting firm boundaries, establishing emotional and financial independence, and transitioning the parent-child dynamic from manager to mentor. To break it down more thoroughly:

Signs of Controlling Behavior

• Infantilizing: Treating the adult child like a child, making decisions for them, or micromanaging their daily lives, such as questioning their spending, career, or relationships.

• Constant Criticism/Unrealistic Expectations: Unreasonable demands and criticism that make the child feel as though they can never do enough.

• Boundary Violations: Uninvited visits, checking phones, controlling social media, or demanding to know their location.

• Emotional Manipulation/Guilt Tripping: Using guilt or withdrawing love to force obedience. 

Impact on the Relationship

• Resentment: The adult child may feel suffocated, leading to conflict and withdrawal.

• Enmeshment: The adult child may feel responsible for the parent’s emotions, blurring the lines between their own lives and the parent’s needs.

• Low Self-Esteem: Constant, controlling behavior can lead to the adult child doubting their own judgment and decision-making capabilities. 

How to Address the Situation

• Set Firm Boundaries: Clearly define what is acceptable, such as “I will not discuss my finances” or “Please call before coming over,” and enforce consequences if violated.

• Practice “Presence without Pressure”: Instead of constant questioning, show care through non-demanding, low-pressure, supportive gestures.

• Establish Independence: Create financial and physical distance to reduce the leverage the parent has.

• Communicate Assertively: Calmly explain that while you appreciate their concern, you are responsible for your own life choices. 

For parents, shifting from “manager” to “consultant” is crucial, as is recognizing that they are meant to be observers in their child’s adulthood rather than active directors. 

That’s just a wishy-washy way of putting everything together. Truth be told, parents who aim to control their adult children are the ones who view their children as objects; just the same as Brooklyn Beckham has claimed his parents, Victoria and David Beckham, view him as an object. Objects don’t have opinions, objects don’t get a say in what they do or how they do it. These type of parents would be genuinely SHOCKED if they realized that their child is a human being with thoughts, feelings and opinions and once they are adult have the same rights of freedom the parent does.

Saint’s father viewed Saint as his object. Instead of working on himself and try to come a better version of himself, he became obsessed with trying to control the narrative for his own son’s life; by getting his son to live the life he thought he ought to live. He wanted Saint to be perfect; but in his own definition of what perfection looked like rather than Saint’s. Being gay, in his eyes, was frowned upon. It was embarrassing. He went all the way in getting Saint to live the life that he thought was right for him. That was his way of showing his fatherly love. It was twisted, to say the least.

The end of The Love Never Sets saw Ice and Saint live their best life together. It was definitive happily-ever-after. They were one big happy bunch, and this bunch included Saint’s father. All it took was Ive standing up for himself, not taking “no” for an answer, and and Saint walking away despite his persistence to do as he told for his father to change his mind. In the final episode, he had change of heart about the relationship between Ice and Saint, apologized for his actions, admitted to failing as a father, and gave his 10% share of the business to Saint, allowing the couple to gain independence. 

Men like Saint’s father are the fathers that think that they own everything in their sons’ lives including choosing them partners. While I do believe that some men CAN indeed change and accept and respect their adult child’s, son or daughter, own decisions, no matter how wrong these decisions may be, a lot of parents such as Saint’s father don’t have what it takes to change even if they tried. Narcissistic personalities often make dreadful, dangerous, and traumatizing parents, but that doesn’t stop them from having kids. My father-in-law has 3 children, but that doesn’t mean that he was ever meant to be a father to begin with.

If there was ever such a man portrayed on-screen, it’d be Saint’s father. But even even Saint’s father was a better man than my father-in-law, because he at least saw through his mistakes and tried to prove to his son that he was worthy in spite of them all. My father-in-law never has and never will. Instead, he plays the victim and blames everyone around him for consequences for the pain that he himself had caused. That’s exactly why my husband went no-contact with him.

Narcissistic parents lack empathy, exploit their children for their own agendas, and are unlikely to seek treatment or change their destructive paths in order. Approximately 26% of young adults report being estranged from their fathers, while 6% are estranged from their mothers, indicating a significant rise in “no-contact” scenarios often driven by emotional abuse, value differences, or toxic behavior. Research suggests this is a growing trend, sometimes referred to as an “epidemic,” with about 10% of people currently having no contact with a parent or child. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key Statistics on Parental Estrangement

• Prevalence: Roughly 1 in 4 (27%) adults are estranged from a family member, with 10% reporting complete, active estrangement from a parent or child.

• Gender Differences: Adult children are more likely to be estranged from fathers (26%) than mothers (6%).

• Daughter vs. Son: Fathers are 22% more likely to be estranged from a daughter than a son.

• Sexual Orientation: Gay/lesbian (32.1%) and bisexual (36.3%) adult children are more likely to be estranged from fathers than heterosexual (21.7%) children.

• Sibling/Extended Family: 38% of American adults are estranged from a sibling, 9% from a grandparent, and 6% from a grandchild. 

Common Reasons for “No-Contact”

• Emotional Abuse: A 2015 study found that 77% of adult children cited emotional abuse from their mother as the reason for cutting contact, while 59% cited it for their fathers.

• Unresolved Conflict & Toxic Behavior: Many instances stem from an accumulation of grievances, high-stakes generational divides, or the toxic behavior of a parent.

• Value Dissimilarity: Differences in personal values (e.g., political, lifestyle, or partner choices) are a strong predictor of estrangement.

• Support for Another Family Member: Sometimes the separation occurs because the child aligns with another parent or family member in a dispute. 

Characteristics of Estrangement

• Initiation: While it can be mutual, the majority of estrangements are initiated by the adult child.
• Suddenness: Many parents report that the estrangement happened suddenly, without prior notice or a specific, clear explanation.
• Impact on Parents: Parents often feel deep hurt, confusion, and stigma, sometimes describing it as a “gaping wound”.

• Duration: While some breakups are temporary, many, especially those involving abuse, can last for years or become permanent. 

Now that my husband is a parent himself, all he wants is to break the cycle. He wants to be the father to our son that he never got to experience in his life. He’s done a great job, and I’m so fucking proud of him.