Angelina Jolie: The Scrutiny Behind Her Rumoured Relationship With Louis Garrel – Why A Woman Dating A Younger Man Is Now Becoming More And More Common

In my previous blog entry, I put a great emphasis that it wasn’t that life with cerebral palsy was hard, but rather than society made it harder than it should be. As a person living with cerebral palsy, I can attest to this wholeheartedly. Life shouldn’t be this fucking hard. But somehow it is because society is afraid of anyone, or anything, that doesn’t fit the norm. This isn’t just the case for people living with cerebral palsy, but with any disability, such as autism or a chronic illness. And it’s not just people with disabilities, but literally anyone who doesn’t fit society’s norm. This includes ageing women.

Just recently, Angelina Jolie was rumoured to be in the early stages of a romance with French actor and Couture co-star Louis Garrel. In 2024, there were widespread rumors of a relationship with British rapper and activist Akala, but these rumours were quickly denied by insiders who claimed the two were just friends and that Akala was with his own partner during their public appearances.

Jolie spent years focusing on her family and health following her very bitter and nasty divorce from ex-husband Brad Pitt. They separated in 2016, so this was a big deal. News of her first relationship in a decade should’ve been something so special, especially considering the abuse and manipulation she and her six children had allegedly endured at the hands of Pitt. But in the eyes of the public, it wasn’t good news; not at all. It was instead met with much judgement and even disgust. Mostly, it had to do with the age difference between the two, which is really not that much. Jolie is 50. Garrel is 42. It’s not like she’s 20 and he’s 12, or even that she’s 24 and he’s 16, that she’s 25 and he’s 17. These are two consenting adults who are just trying to live their fucking lives. And they actually have more in common than just both being actors. They both have adoptive children. Garrel having adopted his daughter, 18 year old Oumy Bruni Garrel, with his former partner, Italian-French actress and screenwriter Valeria Bruni Tedeschi, who is 19 years his senior. He was then married to French model and actress Laetitia Casta and became a stepfather to her three children before the two welcomed a child together in 2021. Laetitia Casta is older than Garrel, with her being 47.

Older women are often perceived as undesirable due to a deeply ingrained combination of ageism and sexism – a “double standard of aging” that devalues women as they age while often celebrating older men as “distinguished” or “silver foxes”. This societal phenomenon stems from a fixation on youth and beauty, where a woman’s value is often equated with her physical appearance and fertility, which are perceived to decline with age. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key factors contributing to this perception include:

• The “Double Standard” of Aging: While men are often seen as gaining experience and value as they age, women are frequently judged negatively based on appearance. This causes women to feel invisible or “past their prime” in both social and professional spheres.

• Fixation on Youthful Ideals: Culture pressures women to maintain a youthful appearance, punishing them for visible signs of aging. This pressure often starts as early as a woman’s twenties.

• Internalized Misogyny & Media Representation: Media and popular culture seldom feature women over 40, reinforcing the idea that older women are irrelevant or outdated.

• Workplace Discrimination: Older women face unique challenges, including being passed over for promotions, being assumed to be less adaptable to new technology, and facing pressure to retire early.

• The “Asexual” Stereotype: Older women are often wrongly perceived as asexual or having lost their sexual appeal, which leads to them being dismissed in romantic contexts.

• Fear of Mortality: Ageism is often a reflection of a fear of one’s own aging and mortality. Seeing an older person, particularly a woman, can trigger anxiety about the aging process, leading to a tendency to avoid or dislike them.

• Cultural “Labels”: Historical terms like “crone,” “hag,” and “witch” once held positive, powerful connotations for older women but have been distorted over centuries to carry negative, undesirable meanings. 

Despite these trends, many women are actively challenging these societal narratives, redefining aging, and fighting against ageism and sexist stereotypes.  Let’s not forget, Brad Pitt, who’s in his 60s, is dating 30 year old Ines de Ramon and somehow, this relationship isn’t as problematic. It’s even celebrated. Leonardo DiCaprio is in his 50s and has a reputation of dating only women in their early to mid-20s. So how is a woman who’s 50 years old being courted by a man 8 years younger than her a problem? It’s a double standard. There’s a tendency to associate aging with decline for women, while for men it’s a sign of wisdom and success. The fixation on youth and beauty for women often takes a psychological and emotional toll. Our ageist stereotypes of older people as frail, with ill health, outdated skills and a lack of competence with technology can lead them to being viewed as undesirable.

OKCupid did a study that reported that women in their earliest 20’s get the most male attention across all ages. The study, published in OkCupid’s co-founder Christian Rudder’s book Dataclysm: Who We Are (When We Think No One’s Looking), show that while women on their on-line dating site OKCupid remained mostly attracted to men their own age, males for the rest of their lives stay consistently attracted to 20-year-old women. But opposed to this, in a study by Elite Singles, emerging statistics suggest that contemporary younger males are more amenable to romancing older women. These men grew up with scenes of movies romanticizing this type of coupling. And it’s thought that younger men are more open to dominance and monetary support from older women, compared to earlier generations in which the women sought out these values from older males.

Priyanka Chopra, who’s married to Nick Jonas, recently opened up about the scrutiny she’d faced when the couple first started dating back in 2018 due to their age difference. She told Variety, ‘I don’t know what was it about us that rubbed people the wrong way. I think there was the intercultural nature of it—different countries, different religions, age gap. It was very hurtful. And we both, instead of looking out, just sort of looked at each other, and we were like, ‘It doesn’t matter.’ So it’s like water off a duck’s back now. We’re eight years in. If people want to keep waiting for it to implode, that’s their choice. I stopped thinking about it. We got married really quick, within six months of meeting. When I first married him, I didn’t know if it was even real. This part of him. Because I was like, ‘This is crazy. This is put on.’ But Nick has this absolute sincerity. It inspires me every day in a profession which requires you to pivot and become whatever you need to put on. He’s constantly sincere. His whole day, whatever the conversation is, he is sincere. He started working when he was really young. His parents are the most wonderful, levelheaded, absolute saints, so I can see where it comes from. But it’s such a disarming quality about him. He is himself and comfortable in it, and I really learned how to be a lot more comfortable in my awkwardness and my insecurities since I got married to him. It really continues to be inspiring to me, this sincerity. We don’t see it often enough anymore, that deep truth when you just start talking to someone. You’re like, ‘Oh, this person is completely transparent.’

Jonas himself previously spoke of his and Chopra’s 10 year age gap. He told podcaster Jay Shetty, ‘I think our age difference was something that I think really bond us. And I think I’ve lived a lot of life in 33 years, so I think having someone who has real perspective and depth and wanted to build a life together was something that I was really drawn to.’

I personally couldn’t even believe that Priyanka Chopra getting together with Jonas was made into such a big deal when they first started dating. At the time, she was 36 and he was 26. The public was acting as if he was underage. But he wasn’t, and Chopra wasn’t the first older woman he’d dated. He previously dated Australian singer Delta Goodrem. They dated for about a year when he was 18 and she was in her mid-20’s. And he was right when he told Jay Shetty on his podcast episode earlier this month that he’s lived a lot of life for 33. He’s been in a boyband since he was a teenager. That’s a lot to handle. That’s a lot of life right there.

We’re now seeing more and more women dating younger men. This has to do with the fact that women in their 40s have a clearer sense of who they are and what they want, making them less likely to settle for relationships based solely on convention. Younger men are often seen as bringing energy, openness, and a more egalitarian view of relationships. If I were to date again, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating a younger man (or woman). I’ve been spending some time with people younger than me by 10 years, give or take, as I have friends in different age groups, and let me tell you, I was astoundingly surprised at how mature and intelligent and attractive they can be. There’s so much that I’ve learned just by having conversations with those who are younger than me. I even found it to be sexy.

In contrast to the notion of me potentially dating an older man, that’s something I don’t know I could ever do. There’s something about dating an older man that seems so unattractive and unappealing to me. Most older men are divorced with children. They’re drained. They often build their identity around being a provider and protector; losing this can create a void, leading to feelings of failure and depression. They may feel an urgent need for a new partner to fill the void, or they may embrace a new, sometimes reckless, sense of freedom.

If I were to date again, I wouldn’t want to ever be in a romantic relationship with someone just to fill a void. I’d want a partnership with someone. I’d want someone to make me feel good about myself; to make feel confident, conscious and happy. I’d want someone that I could learn from. I’d want someone who’d constantly challenge me and inspire me. I’d want someone who’d be a good fit and willing to step up for my son. Could I get that from an older man who’s only with me to fill a void? Probably not. Before these men ever even think about getting into another relationship, perhaps they need to be alone, and redefine their lives and identities without having the need of a partner. In my own case, when it comes to being in a relationship, I want to be wanted; not needed.

More women are now dating younger men due to increased financial independence, a desire for enhanced sexual and emotional satisfaction, and a shift away from traditional relationship power dynamics. Younger men often offer greater energy, better emotional openness, and less baggage, allowing women to feel more admired and less competitive in their relationships. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key reasons for this trend include:

• Emotional and Sexual Satisfaction: Older women often report higher satisfaction, finding younger partners more adventurous and attentive to their needs.

• Differentiation in Dating Pool: Younger men (particularly Gen Z) are often viewed as more emotionally attuned and less bound by traditional, stoic masculinity, making them appealing toMillennial women.

• Empowerment and Confidence: Women, particularly after divorce or loss, feel empowered to prioritize their own happiness over social stigma.

• Equality in Relationships: Younger men are often less threatened by a woman’s success and power, leading to more egalitarian partnerships.

• Lifestyle and Energy: Younger partners can provide a more fun, energetic, and active lifestyle, which women in their 30s and 40s often seek.

• Financial Independence: As women become more financially secure, they no longer need to rely on partners for financial stability, allowing them to prioritize connection over companionship. 

While stigma still exists, the “cougar” trend is increasingly viewed as a confident, empowering lifestyle choice that focuses on mutual pleasure and genuine connection. Finding joy in feeling both young and fit is what attracts married women to younger men. When a younger man shows interest, it starts to feel like you, as a woman, are looking in a mirror that reflects a more youthful self, bringing a sense of confidence and attractiveness. It’s not about denying the aging process but rather embracing the lively feeling.

When I talk about older women dating younger men, I’m not referring to women like Madonna, Cher, and Sam Taylor-Johnson. I’m talking about women who are dating men who are 5, 10, or even 15 years younger than them at most. In this day and age, an older woman dating a younger man doesn’t necessarily lead to marriage. Heck, I’m a great believer that marriage is overrated. If I gad the opportunity to redo my life, I would’ve never taken that step. In fact, when my husband and I were engaged, I begged him not to get married. I believe in partnership, but I don’t believe in the legalities of a marriage. I don’t need a piece of paper to prove that I love someone. But that’s just me. My husband wanted to get married and I didn’t want to lose him, so I just went with it.

As women, we’re so programmed to value things that last -to watch the clock, punch the calculator, and hedge our bets in the pursuit of securing the mythical right man before our equally mythical expiration dates that, in clinging to a false sense of forever, we miss out on so many beautiful moments. Society is so focused on the tale that all women want is longevity and a life partner for themselves. But more often than not, that’s not what dating is about. Sometimes, dating is about enjoying the now, seeing where things go, having good sex, laughing together and enjoying each other’s company. As long as there’s good communication of the future between these two people that are dating, that’s totally okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. As women, we shouldn’t apologize for doing as we please rather than only doing what’s expected of us.

Statistics show that approximately 34% of women over 40 are dating or have dated younger men, with 81% of women open to dating someone at least 10 years younger. While traditional age-gap couples feature older men, relationships with older women and younger men are rising due to increased social acceptance, with 59% of women more open to younger partners. To break it down more thoroughly:

Key Statistics and Trends:

• Prevalence: Nearly 4 in 10 (39%) American adults have engaged in age-gap dating (10+ years difference).

• Attraction Patterns: Around 60% of younger men are attracted to older women, with 34% of men in their early 20s preferring partners 5–10 years older.

• Openness: 59% of women report being more open to dating younger. Furthermore, 14% of women have dated someone 10+ years younger.

• Marriage Statistics: While rare, 2.8% of marriages involve a wife 6–9 years older, 1.0% are 10–14 years older, and 0.4% are 20+ years older.

• Satisfaction: Women in relationships with men more than 10 years younger reported higher satisfaction and commitment compared to those with same-age partners.

Relationship Dynamics:

• Stability: In some cases, couples with older women are more likely to face a higher, or 87% higher, chance of divorce if the man is significantly younger, though this is debated.

• Success Factors: These relationships often thrive when the woman is in her late 40s or older and the man is in his 30s, aligning on life stages.

• Motivation: Younger men often cite the maturity, independence, stability, and confidence of older women as primary attractions. 

Despite the “cougar” stigma, these relationships are increasingly recognized as viable and satisfying. Some might say that a woman dating a younger man is a means of a power dynamic that she’s looking for. You might not believe me when I say this, but I’ll say it anyway. I can assure you, it’s not about that at all. It’s about finding joy. It’s about finding happiness. It’s about finding confidence. Life is short, so might as well do whatever the fuck you want and be with whoever you want; with the person that makes you feel alive. Life is short, so you might as well do whatever you want regardless of what other people think of it.