Halle Berry: The Pressures Women Face To Stay Young And Beautiful As They Get Older – Redefining The Meaning Of Youthfulness And Beauty In The World Of Femininity

Halle Berry has been in the news a lot as of late. First, she got engaged to her longtime boyfriend. Then, she spoke of the sexism and ageism she’d witnessed in Hollywood, and then she opened up about the mistreatment she called out that came from a male director. It seems like too much of a stretch to see Halle Berry’s name in the news, but at least it’s all newsworthy, relevant, and things other women (and men) can take away from. All that somehow makes up for it.

First, we’ll start with the best news: Berry’s upcoming nuptials with her boyfriend of 6 years, Van Hunt. Following news of the engagement, a source told People, ‘After Van proposed, Halle needed a few months to get comfortable with the idea of getting married again. She loves him so much, though, and he makes her incredibly happy. She feels very fortunate. She’s excited to be engaged.’

This will be Berry’s fourth marriage. She was previously married to former MLB player David Justice from 1993 to 1997, singer-actor Eric Benét from 2001 to 2005 and French actor Olivier Martinez from 2013 to 2016, with whom she shares a 12 year old son Maceo-Robert Martinez. The Oscar winning actress also shares daughter Nahla with her ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry.

Berry herself said of the new engagement and the relationship as a whole during a red carpet event for Crime 101, ‘You know, you get to be 54, you just kind of done it a few times, three, to be exact. You just kind of know when it’s right, ’cause you know when it’s wrong.’ And since she mentioned her age when she met her future husband, with her being 59 as of the publishing of this post, I think it’s even more important to speak of the ageism and sexism faced today by women at the hands of media outlets.

Berry isn’t shying away from the realities of aging in Hollywood – she’s instead putting them front and center in her latest role in Crime 101, which co-stars Chris Hemsworth in a story about ambition, morality and survival – and portrays a woman confronting professional setbacks and ageism at a pivotal moment in her career. In an interview with MSNOW’s Huma Abedin, Berry said of her character, ‘The character of Sharon was really important, because she lives right where I am. I’m at this age, and I have the same struggle, I think, as she does, trying to find a way to stay not only relevant within my business, but to be allowed to continue in my business, and to not to feel diminished because I’m aging. It’s the most natural thing in the world to do, but somehow, as an aging woman, you feel like you have to stay forever 30 or else, society has no room for you, and the workplace has no room for you. And I just feel like that’s a bunch of BS, and I refuse to accept that to be true, and that’s who Sharon is. They were right on my sleeve. They were right on my sleeve because it is my everyday. What was great about this role was I got to really take real life and channel it through art.’

Women face distinct biological and social aging processes, often experiencing accelerated changes around ages 30 and 50, with a critical health-management window between 35 and 45. While living longer, women often face gender-specific challenges like the gender pension gap, menopause-related health shifts, and societal pressure to maintain youthfulness, which can impact self-perception. To break things down more thoroughly:

Key Aspects of Female Aging

• Biological Shifts & “The Cliff”: Rather than a gradual decline, women often experience, especially around menopause, a significant, rapid drop in estrogen, impacting bone density, muscle mass, metabolism, and cognitive function.

• Critical Decades: The 35-45 age range is critical for proactive health intervention (bone/muscle) to influence long-term longevity, before and during the menopause transition.

• Physical Changes: Skin thins, loses elasticity, and becomes drier due to reduced collagen and subcutaneous fat, increasing wrinkles and age spots.

• Social & Economic Factors: Women are generally the fastest-growing group of the oldest-old (80+), but they often face higher rates of poverty, social isolation, and caregiving burdens compared to men.

• Double Standard: Women often face societal pressure to hide signs of aging, while men may be viewed as gaining wisdom, leading to negative self-perception for some women. 

Health & Well-being Strategies

• Proactive Care: Monitoring hormonal changes in the 40s to mitigate risks associated with post-menopause.

• Nutrition & Movement: Addressing metabolic shifts through tailored exercise (strength training) and diet to combat bone/muscle loss.

• Mental Health: Addressing potential psychological distress and changing the narrative from “anti-aging” to “healthy, supported aging”. 

Key Findings on Aging Populations

• Globally, there are 189 women for every 100 men by age 80, and 385 for every 100 men by age 100.

• While many women remain healthy into old age, the oldest-old often require significant care, creating a need for improved, tailored healthcare policies.

• Negative self-perception of aging, particularly around menopause, is linked to a lower quality of life, emphasizing the need for positive framing of the aging process. 

Here, when we speak of ageing women, we’re not even speaking of Berry’s age group. We’re speaking of women much younger than that – more than 10, even 20 years younger. Berry has said women have to ‘reclaim the narrative’ that they are ‘done’ at ’50, 60 or 70′ as she spoke out about ageing in Hollywood. She told Variety, ‘I know how marginalised women feel when they get around those numbers. It’s a message to whoever has the ears and the heart to absorb it. As women, we have to reclaim that narrative. We’re not done at 50, 60, even 70. We have so much more to offer. I’m 60 this year and I feel like I’m just getting my second groove started so, not done.

Beforehand, Berry opened up to The Cut on ageing in the public eye. She said, ‘You get to this age where you feel like you’re being marginalized, devalued. You feel it at work. You feel it from society. But I have adamantly decided I am not going to allow myself to be erased. That’s why I’m on my menopause mission. I’m going to be louder than I have ever been.’

Society is geared towards making women afraid to get older. It treats the natural way of being and living as if it’s a crime. Men don’t get this type of treatment. Just look at Tim Cruise. The man is 63 years old and is still a celebrated actor and producer. He’s still a working class and has one opportunity after another. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to stop working anytime soon. All the while, his former Top Gun co-star Kelly McGillis didn’t come back to the 2022 sequel solely because of her age. She said it herself when asked why she was replaced by Jennifer Connelly. In her own words, ‘I’m old, and I’m fat, and I look age-appropriate.’ That was Tom Cruise’s decision. On the other side of the spectrum, he fought for Val Kilmer to star in the sequel as the studio was hesitant to hire him due to his cancer diagnosis.

McGillis’ firing can’t entirely be blamed on Cruise. That’s just Hollywood. And not only Hollywood, but the world we live in. Society’s fear of women aging naturally is rooted in deeply embedded cultural, economic, and patriarchal norms that equate a woman’s value primarily with her youth, beauty, and fertility. As women age, they often face a “double standard” where they become less visible, while men are often celebrated for gaining wisdom and status. Here are the key reasons why society is afraid of, and promotes fear around, women aging naturally:

1. The Intersection of Sexism and Ageism (The “Double Standard”) 

• Devaluation of Worth: Women are socialized to believe their value lies in their appearance. Aging is often perceived as a decline in that value, leading to a fear of becoming “invisible” or irrelevant.

• The “Male Gaze” and Fertility: Because society associates youth with fertility and desirability, women are pressured to maintain a youthful look to remain “relevant”.

• Double Standard: While men are often considered more distinguished or powerful as they age, women are criticized for the same signs of aging (wrinkles, gray hair). 

2. The Multi-Billion Dollar “Anti-Aging” Industry 

• Profit from Insecurity: The beauty and skincare industries profit heavily by making women feel afraid of aging.

• Normalization of Alteration: The prevalence of botox, fillers, and filters has created a distorted view of what a 40 or 50-year-old woman should look like, making natural aging look “abnormal”.

• “Fixing” a Natural Process: Aging is marketed as a problem to be solved rather than a natural, inevitable phase of life. 

3. Cultural and Patriarchal Conditioning

• Patriarchal Control: Historically, older women (the “crone” archetype) have been feared or dismissed in patriarchal cultures because they are harder to control and possess the wisdom to live on their own terms.

• Shame and Scrutiny: Women face immense pressure to “age gracefully,” which often implies not looking like they are aging at all. They are either judged for “trying too hard” or for “letting themselves go”.

• Fear of Abandonment: If an older woman is deemed less valuable, she may fear loneliness, rejection, or being cast aside. 

4. Psychological and Social Impact

• Mental Health Toll: The pressure to remain young causes anxiety, depression, and body dissatisfaction.

• Workplace and Social Discrimination: Studies show that women face significant ageism in their careers, such as being denied promotions. 25% of women report turning down social invitations due to anxiety about how they look. 

5. Shift in Reproductive Status

• Menopause: The end of reproductive years is often wrongly equated with the end of a woman’s purpose. While menopause is a biological transition, society often views it as a “loss”. 

Summary: The fear is not inherent, but learned. It stems from a system that fears the power, experience, and autonomy that older women possess, choosing instead to celebrate a narrow, youthful ideal. 

Connelly herself is 55 years old, an age that’s considered too old by Hollywood standards, much like McGillis who, as of the publishing of this post, is 68 years old. The difference between the two women, however, is loud and clear. Connelly has a youthful look to her. She’s think. She’s not going grey. She puts make up on her face. She takes care of her skin. She’s everything that McGillis isn’t. Cruise and the Top Gun filmmakers sought Connelly for her role as Penny Benjamin as they wanted a new, mature love interest with an established, “old flame” history to ground Maverick’s character. Connelly was cast to bring a sense of, zest, independence, and “holding her own” energy to the role. Producers sought an actress who could portray a confident, independent woman who understood Maverick’s life and career.

It’s not necessarily the age that’s society is so against, but what comes with it, particularly when it comes to women. Society is so obsessed with women’s aging that it’s made it hard for women to embrace it without being punished for it. Marina Klimenka, cofounder of Luvly, said, ‘For many, the fear of aging stems from the thought of being shunned from society and left all alone.’ The scariest part of it all is how many of these milestones – career, love, motherhood, looks – are framed by patriarchal expectations: be beautiful, be productive, but don’t get too old. Because when you do, the compliments stop. The opportunities shrink. And the visibility? Practically gone.

A study by Barrett and Robbins conducted in 2008 found that women’s anxiety around ageing is closely linked to fears about losing attractiveness, social value, and health. That tracks. How many times have we heard phrases like “she let herself go” or “she’s ageing like a fine wine,” as if how a woman ages is a moral judgement? It’s exhausting to constantly perform youthfulness just to be seen as valid and worthy. The older women get, the less we see them in media in roles that aren’t either mothers, witches, or punchlines. It tells us, subtly and not-so-subtly, that a woman’s value declines with age. That message is easy to internalise, especially when you’re still trying to figure out who the fuck you even are. Women of colour have a much harder time with such a thing, which is why I felt so compelled to use Halle Berry as the main subject matter for this particular blog entry.

There’s a quote I absolutely love by Shanspeare, which says, ‘There is no expiration date on womanhood.’ It’s a small piece of advice, but so powerful. It’s especially the kind of reminder that’s crucial to take in now that we’re in the age of social media, where all we see is youthfulness, filtered lights and a sense of fakeness. Social media gives a fake image of the world and the way we see ourselves. It tells us that we, women, start to become less and less capable of bringing value into the world. And by value, I mean value to love, work, and so on. But that’s not the case. In actuality, we don’t have to peak in our 20s. We can reinvent ourselves. We can slow down. We can be messy and still be worthy – at 25, 35, 65. Part of growing up is letting go of the expectations that were never made for us in the first
place.

I vividly remember being so afraid to turn 30. Then I was afraid to turn 35. Then I was afraid to turn 37. There was just something about those numbers that made them feel like a death sentence; like life was just about to end. I remember I was 5 years old when I told my mom she needed to use an anti-aging cream I saw an ad for on TV. She was 30 at the time. Now I realize that there’s so much beauty in getting older.

Getting older does not have to be a negative experience, as many of the perceived downsides can be managed or reframed as opportunities for growth, freedom, and enjoyment. While physical changes and challenges are inevitable, proactive health management, a shift in mindset, and accumulated life wisdom can lead to a fulfilling later life. To break it down more thoroughly:

Here is why getting older shouldn’t suck:

1. Increased Freedom and Emotional Well-being

• Less Caring What Others Think: A major benefit of aging is the reduced pressure to conform to social expectations, allowing for greater authenticity.

• Higher Happiness Levels: Studies indicate that quality of life can actually increase from age 50, peaking around 68. Some findings even suggest that 70 is the happiest age.

• Freedom from Life’s “Hard” Phases: For many, the struggles of early adulthood (career building, young children) are replaced by more time for hobbies, passion projects, and relaxation. 

2. Deepened Wisdom and Perspective

• Improved Decision Making: With age comes the ability to better navigate life’s challenges, differentiate true friends from acquaintances, and prioritize what truly matters.

• Appreciation of the Present: Older individuals often gain a deeper appreciation for small, daily joys, such as nature or spending time with family, which may have been overlooked in busier, younger years. 

3. Opportunities for Continued Growth and Health

• Proactive Lifestyle Management: While the body changes, maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle (regular movement, strength training, proper nutrition) can mitigate or delay decline, allowing individuals to remain capable and pain-free.

• New Experiences: Older age provides the opportunity to pursue new passions, further education, or hobbies that were previously neglected.

• Cognitive Sharpness: Contrary to stereotypes, with proper mental stimulation—like solving puzzles or learning new skills—many retain their cognitive abilities. 

4. Redefining “Graceful” Aging

• Embracing Change: Rather than fighting to look like a younger version of oneself, “aging well” involves listening to the body’s new needs and adjusting accordingly.

• Reframing Aging: Viewing oneself as “seasoned” or “experienced” rather than “old” shifts the focus to the value gained over time, rather than just the physical decline. 

Tips to Make Aging Better

• Exercise for Strength: Focus on movement that increases mobility and balance.

• Stay Socially Active: Combat loneliness by nurturing friendships and staying connected to the community.

• Maintain Positivity: A positive attitude toward aging is strongly correlated with a better experience of it. 

While there are undeniable challenges like health issues or loss of friends, adopting a proactive, positive, and adaptable approach can ensure that the later stages of life are not only comfortable but enjoyable. 

Luckily, we’re now seeing more and more women in media paving the way for a new era of women’s definition of beauty and aging. Pamela Anderson is the pillar behind that movement. In more recent years, she’s significantly shifted the cultural conversation around beauty by embracing a “no-makeup” look at high-profile events, challenging industry norms that equate femininity with heavy makeup and youthful perfection. By appearing bare-faced at Paris Fashion Week in 2023 and subsequent major events, she has reframed beauty as an act of “self-acceptance,” “authenticity,” and personal freedom rather than a performance for the male gaze. To break it down more thoroughly:

Here is how Pamela Anderson is changing the narrative on the definition of beauty:

1. “Situational Beauty” Over Rigid Standards 

• Opt-in Philosophy: Anderson has not permanently abandoned cosmetics, but has adopted a “situational beauty” approach—treating makeup as an optional, creative tool rather than a daily, mandatory uniform.

• Challenging the “Glam Squad”: By skipping the traditional, time-consuming “glam” process for red carpets, she highlighted that she is “not trying to be the prettiest girl in the room”.

• Redefining “Getting Ready”: She described her shift as a “release” from the pressure to constantly adhere to a “cartoon character” version of herself, allowing her to feel more comfortable in her own skin. 

2. Embracing the Aging Process (“Life-ing”)

• Challenging Anti-Aging Culture: Anderson has rejected the pressure to chase youth, describing the pursuit of eternal youth as “futile”.

• “Life-ing” vs. Aging: She has coined the term “life-ing” to describe embracing the natural, maturing process, arguing that true beauty comes from within, not from jars or surgeries.

• Authenticity over Perfection: Her look celebrates imperfections—laugh lines, freckles, and skin texture—arguing that a face that “talks” of a full life is more beautiful than a frozen one. 

3. Grief as a Catalyst for Change

• A Personal Evolution: The shift was sparked by the 2019 death of her longtime makeup artist and friend, Alexis Vogel. Feeling the loss of that collaborative bond, she decided to stop trying to replicate her signature 90s bombshell look.

• Moving on from the ’90s Persona: This move allowed her to shed the “imprisoning template” of her earlier career and define her own identity on her own terms. 

4. Redefining Confidence as a Practice

• A “Quiet Revolution”: Rather than a loud protest, her approach is a “quiet but radical statement” that true confidence comes from self-acceptance.

• Not Just for Celebrities: She has inspired a “natural beauty revolution” that has resonated with many people, including fans and other celebrities who are questioning the pressure to present a perfectly curated image.

• Focus on Skin Health: As a co-owner of the skincare brand Sonsie, she has focused on a “minimalist, mindful beauty” philosophy that prioritizes skin health and sustainability over coverage. 

5. Redefining “Sultry”

• “Sexier” in Her Own Skin: Anderson has stated that going bare-faced is “more intimate and vulnerable, kind of like… how your boyfriend sees you,” and feels it is “almost sexier” than being heavily made up. 

Key Quotes on Her New Philosophy

• “I’d rather see a face in the mirror that’s aging… than one I don’t recognize.”
• “I want to jump off the crazy train… and just peel it back and see what’s going on.”
• “Beauty is just being free to be yourself.”
• “You don’t have to chase beauty. You just have to remember it’s already there.” 

By embracing her natural, “raw and undone” self, Pamela Anderson is proving that true beauty is about being comfortable in one’s own skin. 

When I myself think of youthfulness and beauty at an old age, I immediately think of my grandmother. She was well into her 90s when she passed away. But she there was always a sense of self-awareness and confidence in her that I’d witnessed. When she was 80, she was doing whatever the fuck she wanted. She was living her best life. She travelled, joined different activities that made her feel enriched in life, she consistently went out with her girlfriends; she even dated and had a boyfriend following my grandpa’s passing.

In many ways, my grandmother was my real-life example of what youth and beauty means as you, as a woman, get older, and I’m glad to have had that. As I get older, my mind keeps going back to her when I start thinking of myself as being too old for something. When I think of her, I begin to remember that I’m not too old for anything. I’m not too old for growth and continuous improvement in my life. I’m not always going to look young and beautiful on the outside, but I’ll always FEEL young and beautiful in my soul. No one, no media outlet or any outlet for that matter, will tell me otherwise. No matter what age I’ll get to, I’ll always work on myself.