Story By: Sharla Pringle
When I was sixteen, I was active in school and worked hard. I was a member of Junior ROTC, choir, and I worked a part-time job. My sister introduced me to an older guy, I will call him Blue. I didn’t mind that he was older. I found that older men gave me an avenue to escape high school pressures. We talked every day and soon it led to regular visits. From the beginning, I knew he was too old for me, but Blue knew how to win me over by taking me shopping and out to eat.
As time went on, we spent more and more time together, and while it was dysfunctional and unhealthy, we grew close. I shared with him my life goals of joining the Army and traveling the world. I made him promises that I intended to keep. Senior year, Blue got more possessive. He wanted to be together all the time. Things escalated over that year when we were together, he became verbally abusive and possessive over my time with friends and family.
One fall day when I tried to end things with Blue, he got very upset with the fact that I decided to break it off with him. At that moment, he appeared to be calm and allowed me to get out of the car to walk home. As I was crossing the street, he tried to run me over with his car! He was persistent in his apology and wore me down with repeated efforts to make up. I see now that it was harassment, but at the time, I couldn’t see his manipulation.
As promised, I finished high school and joined the military. I thought it was a great opportunity to leave Blue, grow as an adult, and never look back. However, when basic training graduation came around with no friends or family planning to attend, I felt lonely, so I invited Blue. Not only did Blue show up, but he also proposed! It is not nearly as romantic as it sounds but that is a story for another day. After my graduation ceremony, Blue kept reminding me I promised him I’d marry him. I felt I had to keep my word despite our relationship, which at that time was cordial, at best. On our wedding day, moments before the ceremony, I learned he was 26 years older than I was, and as shocked as I was, I STILL married him. At that moment, the only thing I could think was, ‘Sharla, you said you would, so here you are. Do it.’
I graduated from training and returned home with an assignment to Korea. Blue could not go with me. The same day I got home, he started a fight about my assignment which turned into another physical altercation. This time, he pushed me on the bed, covered
my face with a pillow, and “POW!” was all I heard! I sat up and felt blood falling from my mouth. I looked up to see Blue, now with the gun to his head. I jumped up, knocked the gun from his hand, and went to dial 911 from the living room. My husband had shot me in the face. The bullet had gone straight into my mouth and out of my cheek. It took out the entire left side of my teeth. I questioned if I’d die. I wondered if I’d have a scar. I wondered where Blue was. I worried how to pay for my medical care.
I was angry. From the front seat of the ambulance where Blue rode, the one thing he said over and over was, ‘I’m sorry!’ I wasn’t ready to hear his apology. All I could think was, ‘You’re going to pay for this.’ The police found and arrested him at the hospital. The doctors stitched me up and sent me home. During the investigation, I discovered that the officers thought I was dead based on the scene at the house. I did not press charges. I felt it was not my place to judge or punish him, rather I was faithful that God would take care of it in His own time.
The state did pick up the case and charged Blue with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Three weeks after my assault, I packed up and went on to my assignment to Korea. After being there for about four months, I found out I was pregnant. I returned to The States, had my baby, and moved forward with my life. Two years later, Blue finally went to trial for my case. During his trial I testified and told my story. By that time, I no longer felt fear. But I felt shame in telling the truth about the abuse I had endured in our relationship. I had grown since Blue shot me, and it was hard to testify that my younger self, with dreams and my life ahead, had been in that situation.
I had yet to learn that it wasn’t my fault: Blue groomed me, wore
me down, hurt me. Blue was sentenced to ten years of probation, a no-contact order, and time served. I don’t have any regrets about the choices I made at that time. I’ve learned to give myself grace for my choices at such a young age. I’ve received it as a lesson learned, and I have worked hard to not become a bitter woman. Despite my hurt and anger, I turned to similar hurtful actions towards others over time. I’ve had to learn how to tame my emotions, to control my hurt and anger.
I thank God for keeping me in those times, and in the times after. I thank Him for putting the right people in my life on this journey I venture through every day. Every person, every situation, is a chance to become smarter, stronger, humbler, and even more grateful for the blessings of the life that I have today. I pray that through what I have endured, I can reach out and help others facing similar situations.
Ways to connect with Sharla
Email: placeofpeaceorlando@gmail.com
Website: https:/placeofpeaceorlandoinc.org
Instagram: placeofpeaceorlando
Facebook: Place of Peace Orlando Inc
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