Story By: Morgan Rockwell
Roughly one in 4 couples are affected by infertility. That’s about 48.5 million couples experiencing infertility worldwide. That translates as 11% of women worldwide. It makes you feel like you are suffering alone, but as you can see many women are struggling.
Infertility. Just the word alone conjures up so many feelings. Guilt, shame, sadness, brokenness, desperation… the list goes on. So let’s take a minute to honor all of those feelings you and so many women have about infertility. Now, take a deep breath as I invite you on a journey of deconstructing infertility through a mind-body model.
Let’s talk about what happens in the body with infertility. Infertility can be the inability to get pregnant or the inability to keep a pregnancy. On a very basic level, not being able to get pregnant or keep a pregnancy, is the body’s way of giving information. Information that says, on a microscopic cellular level these cells will never create a human. Now, there are many places along the line where the cells might not be healthy, the egg, the ovaries, the uterus lining, or in many cases there is some disease process present to some degree, such as endometriosis, PCOS, or a blocked fallopian tube amongst others. The important takeaway is that the body is sending an important message about the physical state of the reproductive system.
So if it’s just sending physical messages, why does it FEEL so devastating and heartbreaking?? That is where the MIND comes in.
Now when I say MIND, I am referring to the trifecta of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Most women have thoughts of one day being a mother, and feel that it will be fulfilling a purpose and internal calling which bring about so many emotions of joy, hope, and bliss. What an amazing gift! But, when facing infertility, ALL of these come crashing down, leaving our thoughts spirling into a panic of “What’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I get pregnant?” Infertility can bring in feelings of sadness or even depression, and worst of all can leave women feeling hopeless and dis-empowered. Understandable so.
So, how do women step back into empowerment after such a cycle of devastation? The key is to shift your perspective on infertility. To look at it through a completely different lens. Whereas approaching fertility through a mind-body perspective is the ultimate goal, first we need to separate the two in order for each to heal.
Healing the MIND
Honour your feelings- in order to heal all the feelings, you need to honour them. Just notice your thoughts and feelings about your struggles with fertility. What thoughts are continually ruining your head? What emotions are running around with them? Step 1- Catch them. Step 2. Feel them. Really, really feel them. Lean into the sadness, fear, despair, etc. (yes, tears are good in this part!) Step 3. Cancel them. Cancel those negative thoughts about yourself and your body. Step 4. Choose new thoughts- How would you like to feel about your body? Step 5- Claim new feelings. Really feel the joy, happiness, etc. The effectiveness of this exercise is so incredible. Apply it as often as you need.
Process your emotions- Uncensored journaling is one of my favorites. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, correctness, or expletives! Just get out all the nasty feelings inside and put them on paper. Another option is creative painting- and no you don’t need to be an artist! It is about healing through the creative process- adding layers or painting upon layers to work out emotions without words.
Cultivating the creative energy- Stay with me on this one. I simply mean the energy to create. Whether it is cooking, a business, or an idea of something we have always wanted to try- this is ALL considered creative energy. Pick an outlet and dive in. Notice any feelings or thoughts that arise as you go through the process of creating. Being in a creative flow brings immense healing.
Find a support community- Talk about your fertility struggles! It can feel very isolating or personal but talking with other women experiencing infertility can be so supportive. Find a safe group forum, fertility coach, or qualified counselor to support you. You are not alone!
Healing the body
Look at your cycle- Obvious, right? Not really. What I am suggesting is to look back into your teen years- what was your cycle like? In your 20s? The 30S? To current. Are there any patterns you see? And recurring symptoms or issues- note these in a journal. A fertility coach, acupuncturist, or naturopath can help shed some light on your cycle history. It is of tremendous value!
Diet and Nutrition- okay, this one is more obvious- most women know, reduce alcohol, sugar, and processed foods but why? These are inflammatory and completely muck with hormone production and elimination in the body. Keep an eye out on Gluten- it can alter thyroid function- which is key to fertility. Be sure to ADD IN healthy fats- I repeat EAT FAT! Avocados, fish, olives, coconut products- these all have a type of fat used in the production of hormones and are anti-inflammatory.
Acupuncture- I may be biased as an acupuncturist, but the statistics aren’t. Couples with fertility problems are more likely to get pregnant using traditional Chinese medicine. Research has shown that couples using Chinese herbal medicine are twice as likely to conceive within a four-month period and that acupuncture could potentially halve the time it takes to become pregnant. As an added bonus, acupuncture regulates the nervous system and calms emotions.
Find out your root cause- I encourage you to get curious and underneath your “ infertility cause.” By that I mean, why is a disease process happening? For example, perhaps you were diagnosed with endometriosis. What has contributed to such an excess of inflammation in your body? Perhaps is dietary, or an undetected digestive disorder, etc. Find a fertility coach, acupuncturist, or naturopath to help you gain a firm understanding of our actual root cause. Only when you heal the root cause will you begin to regain fertility.
Only when you heal the root cause will you begin to regain fertility.
Now it is time to fuse the two. When the mind and body are BOTH on the healing journey, they synergistically heal each other. Let me say that in another way, how you think and feel directly affects the body’s many functions. The more you are in control of your thoughts and emotions the less your body needs to regulate its stress response and nervous systems, which in turn allows your body to heal.
In terms of fertility issues, we women are usually in it for the long haul. Our path to fertility may be more complex, difficult, and longer than we hoped, but walking your path with empowerment, knowing you have some tools and some control over the outcome is worth it.
Trust your body. It knows what to do. Love your body, it will respond in kind. Support your MIND in order to cultivate your fertility.
In health and wellness,
Morgan @ Lavender Wellness.
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