My pregnancy has definitely been eventful, to say the least. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to even be able to say out loud that I’m pregnant. While being a part of the infertility community, I’ve come to the realization that I really didn’t have it that bad. I only had one failed embryo transfer before getting pregnant naturally, whereas I’ve seen stories of couples having 7,8, and even 9 embryo transfers before they got the results they wanted and deserved. To those couples, I just want to say that they’re true warriors, and it’s okay if you decide that you don’t want to have children after such trauma. Having children is no one’s choice but your own.
Up until the 18 week mark, I had a fairly blissful time being pregnant. I only found out I was pregnant when I was 7 weeks along. I didn’t experience any symptoms at all with the exception of a missed period, and when I went to get blood work done, I asked my fertility doctor to check for any newfound PCOS complications rather than a pregnancy test. If you read my previous post, you’ll know that I was involved in a minor car accident when I was 18 weeks pregnant. That was a scary day, but it was nothing compared to what happened a few weeks later. And the worst part of it all was that nothing could prepare me for it.
When I was 21 weeks pregnant, I experienced what I feared most – a grand mal seizure. One minute I was taking a nap on the couch, the next minute I was sitting p in front of my computer working on this blog, and the following minute I lost absolutely all control over my body. Luckily, I didn’t fall or hit my head during the seizure. The next thing I remember happened once I gained consciousness was that I frantically searching for my phone to call my husband. He was working at the office that day, and I was home alone, which is even more of a miracle that I wasn’t physically hurt due to the seizure.
As soon as he answered the phone, I started crying and balling my eyes out. I wasn’t in pain or discomfort at all. I was scared of losing the baby. I mentioned in my previous post just how nerve-wrecking it was for me to have been involved in the minor car accident when I was 18 weeks pregnant. But that was nothing compared to the anxiety I felt in the aftermath of the seizure. Before leaving his work to come to me, my husband called my parents to ask them to pick me up to go to their place so that I wouldn’t be home alone as they live only 10 minutes away, and he immediately was on his way to my parents’ once he got off the phone. We waited another couple few hours before finally deciding to go to the emergency room.
I attempted to keep calm the whole time. I couldn’t risk having another seizure, even the slightest sight of it. As I got to the ultrasound room and laid on the hospital bed with my husband holding my hand to calm me down and comfort me, my main goal was to think of absolutely nothing. I didn’t want to have any negative thoughts rushing through my brain and cause me any more stress. I was just waiting for the nurse to come with the ultrasound machine, and when she finally did, I sighed a huge sigh of relief. She started looking for the baby’s heartbeat, but couldn’t hear anything. She told me to move to one side and then the other, but still couldn’t hear the heartbeat. My own heart was racing just by looking at her. She called the second nurse that was on call. She, thankfully, found the heartbeat, and when she told me, I felt as though my own heart stopped from happiness and relief. The baby was moving a lot in my womb, which is always a good sign about a fetus’s health. The doctor then came in and confirmed, with a more detailed ultrasound, the baby was 100% healthy and there was nothing to worry about.
Once it was confirmed that the baby was safe and healthy, it was time for me to get tested. That took another few hours between doing blood work, pee testing, as well as seeing the doctor and the neurologist. All seemed normal, and I was let go. I was told to see my regular neurologists (I have two) following the hospital visit. I called my regular neurologist that I’ve been seeing for years, and he told me to call the specialist that I see throughout my pregnancy. I called the specialist, and talked to the nurse that works at her office. All she told me was to increase my pill dosage, which I already did, and that she’ll see me in person on my next scheduled appointment at the end of August. That’ll be when I’m 7 months pregnant(!). Not only was this the only ‘new’ information she told me, but it took me 5 times of calling the office to get the nurse to get back to me a whole week after the seizure happened.
The whole ordeal, which included my visit to the hospital following the minor car accident when I was 18 weeks pregnant, was just absurd. I already knew that the medical system, at least in Canada, has always been questionable. My pregnancy reassured me of that even further. At times, I don’t feel that I’m being taken seriously. At times, I feel that my unborn child’s health is taken more seriously than my own. But how can my unborn child be healthy when my own health isn’t taken seriously? The medical system is just a business transaction. That’s the sad truth of it all. It’s always been that way. Now with the aftermath of the pandemic, it’s become all about how to save the most money possible. Our health and well-being has just become a priority of simply how to save the most amount of money and spend the most time possible on a patient simply by having them wait.
My life, the life of my unborn child, and the lives of my loved ones, as well as the rest of the world, are all equally important and worth a lot ore than the waiting game. In fact, my life is more important than the life of my child that isn’t even born yet; who’s not even a person, but a fetus that is 5 months along. We’re all people. Our lives matter. We’re NOT a business transaction. I shouldn’t be on my deathbed to be taken care of by a doctor and be considered as a priority. Is it too much to ask for me to be taken seriously when I voice my concerns about my health and life as a whole?
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