According To Kelly Clarkson – The 3 Main Positive Outcomes Of Getting A Divorce

For the past three blog posts, we’ve been talking about women, particularly disabled women, being superheroes, as well as the strength it takes to be a woman struggling with a chronic illness. I want to continue this conversation in this blog post, because I realize that there is one woman who’s defined a woman’s superpower and strength over a course of two decades, and that’s Kelly Clarkson. If you’ve been living under a rock for the past 22 years and don’t know who Kelly Clarkson is, she’s the first-ever winner of ‘American Idol’, which aired in 2002.

Clarkson’s career flourished since then. Of course, we’re excluding the 2003 movie she made with season 1’s runner up, Justin Guarini, ‘From Justin To Kelly’. The movie was bad. It was so bad that it now holds a 1.9 rating on IMDB. And it was panned by all critics alike, including the late Roger Ebert, who voted it as one of the worst films of all time. I watched it back in the day, I can confirm that the movie is bad. It was so bad that it was enjoyable to watch for the sake of making fun of it and being reminded of just how terrible the movie is. Because of its failure, no other ‘American Idol’ winner and runner up had to make a movie ever again.

Ever since then, Clarkson never looked back on acting, and instead, solely concentrated on her music career, and a successful to say the least. She released albums. She was a judge on ‘The Voice’. She hosted the Billboard Music Awards twice. And most recently, she’s hosted her own daytime show, ‘The Kelly Clarkson Show’. It seems that having a daytime show is the new thing for ‘American Idol’ alums, as Jennifer Hudson has her own daytime show as well. Maybe Carrie Underwood will be next.

As I did my research for my previous post on Lindsay Lohan’s new Netflix film, ‘Irish Wish’, I came across Lohan’s interview with Kelly Clarkson. She was there, obviously, to support and promote the movie. While there, Kelly started a conversation with Lohan and Ayesha Curry, who also stars in the film about motherhood. Clarkson has two children with her ex-husband, Brandon Blackstock; Curry has three children with her husband, Stephen Curry, and one on the way; and Lohan just had a baby in July of last year with her husband, Bader Shammas. The three women all said the same thing – motherhood changes you in a way that can’t be described and won’t be understood by anyone who hasn’t experienced it.

It wasn’t the conversation itself that caught my eye. Mostly, I think it’s because I hadn’t experienced much of that motherhood glow or happiness that they described. I personally command Lohan for being able to stand on her own ground, work, and talk so lovingly about motherhood when her son isn’t even a year old. Instead, the conversation between the three women reminded me of Clarkson’s personal life throughout the years. Throughout her run in the spotlight, not much has been known about Clarkson’s personal life. Before she married her now ex-husband, she’d been single for 6 years, and according to her, she would’ve been happy to stay that way. The only other person we know she dated before her ex was her ‘From Justin To Kelly’ co-star, Justin Guarini when they were just starting out together.

Back in 2007, Clarkson worked with Reba McEntire. McEntire was married to Narvel Blackstock. If the last name seems a little familiar to you, it’s because it is. Narvel Blackstock is Brandon Blackstock’s father, which makes practically makes Reba and Clarkson always connected as family. McEntire and broke things off with Narvel Blackstock in 2015, and she previously opened up in an interview that she initially was going to break things off with him sooner, but Clarkson talked her out of it. Clarkson herself ended up breaking up her marriage during the pandemic in 2020. The divorce, which was finalized in 2022, was anything but amicable, to say the least. They were involved in a bitter custody battle, where Clarkson was ordered to pay her ex-husband more than $200,000 per month even though she had full custody. They also had a bitter legal fight over their properties.

And now, they’re fight over business. In November 2023, Clarkson was awarded $2.6 million from Blackstock for unpaid commissions during his time as her manager. The fight isn’t over for Clarkson, though. On March 11th, she filed another lawsuit against her ex-husband and his father for more unpaid commissions dating back all the way to 2007 when she signed to their company. In her filing, Clarkson stated:

“Based on the wrongful acts and conduct of Starstruck, all agreements between the parties, should be declared void and unenforceable, no monies should be paid by cross-complainants to Starstruck, and all monies previously paid by cross-complainants to Starstruck should be disgorged from Starstruck, forthwith.”

In turn, Brandon Blackstock’s lawyer said the following of the lawsuit filing:

“It is morally, ethically and legally wrong to attempt to get monies back from your ex-husband who not only helped her as her manager but who used those earnings on their children and Kelly and Brandon’s lifestyle during the marriage.”

It’s a very sad situation. I hope Clarkson wins this battle. She’s been busting her a** off for more than half her life now. To not get what is rightfully owed is an embarrassment. It’s even worse when this type of theft is done by someone who you built a life with; someone you thought you loved and loved you back; someone you thought had your back; and not only that, but is the father of your kids. They say that you never truly know someone until you divorce them, and that sentiment really holds true, especially in Clarkson’s case. What makes it even more sa is that Clarkson always made it clear that she never wanted to get married in the first place; mostly due to her own parents’ divorce. Maybe she was meant to be a mother to the two children she has with Blackstock, but not a wife to such a greedy human being such as Brandon Blackstock and his father. He did help her career, but he took away money to himself that wasn’t his to take in the first place. Whether the money was for the kids or the family, it should’ve still gone to its rightful owner.

I’m not a legal expert by any means, and I’m in no way even going to pretend to be one. I’m just giving my two cents on the situation and what’s been made public about it. Instead of concentrating on the legalities of everything that goes behind a divorce, I want to talk about the positive outcomes that can come in a case of a divorce. And still, I want to use Kelly Clarkson as an example. With that being said, a divorce can be good for your career, your personal life, AND your health. It’s especially true when you’re a woman going through a divorce. We’ll be looking at these three factors separately.

Career

I’ve written about this on the blog time and time again. Writing about your trauma and anything sad or hard that ever happened to you makes the best work of art. I write about trauma here. I’ve promoted my ‘sad’ story of living with a cerebral palsy and epilepsy as a means to get more clients for my freelancing business. I also wrote about my sexual assault trauma in my book, ’12 YEARS A WOMAN: MY JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS’. I also write about it on here. But a ‘sad’ story, which isn’t even to sad in the first place, doesn’t have to be just about living with a disability and/or an illness. Life’s hardships aren’t just defined by it. A ‘sad’ story can also revolve around breakups and makeups. Taylor Swift, for one, has based her entire career on writing songs about her relationships and breakups. Sometimes, she writes about friendships too.

Kelly Clarkson has started that trend for herself herself too. Her 10th studio album, ‘Chemistry’, which was released in 2023, was inspired by the breakdown of her marriage and eventual divorce to Brandon Blackstock. In an Instagram post, Clarkson wrote of the album when announcing its release:

“All right, y’all. So, it is officially time to tell you,” she says in the clip. “I’ve been working on this project for, well, close to three years now, and I wasn’t sure I was going to release it. But I am, and the album is called Chemistry. I was trying to find a word—it might be one of the songs on the album—but I was trying to find a word that really described the whole thing. I didn’t want everybody to think I was just coming out with something just like, ‘I’m angry,’ ‘I’m sad’—just one or two emotions. This album is definitely the arc of an entire relationship.”

That’s not to say that wonderful opportunities can’t come out when you’re married. It was, after all, Blackstock’s idea for Clarkson to start her own daytime talk show. The family even made a big move to L.A for Clarkson to be close to work. In an interview with People Magazine, Clarkson said:

“My husband and I were actually talking a lot of pillow talk over months and months of time,” she began, revealing that Blackstock supported their move to Los Angeles so that Clarkson could be closer to her work. (The first four seasons of The Kelly Clarkson Show were filmed in Universal City, California.) “Because we also lived in Nashville, so it was a big move for our family to move to L.A. We ended up moving our whole family out here. It was kind of a big decision for us, but it just seemed like a new adventure, honestly. My husband is a really good salesman on ideas. He’s just really good at pointing out things that maybe will push me out of my comfort zone, which is why we’re really great partners in life as well.”

Most of us aren’t as famous as Taylor Swift or Kelly Clarkson, and we aren’t anywhere near as well off as them either. Nevertheless, we can all take something away from this. A woman should never fully rely on a man for financial gain. A woman should be independent, for if anything should happen and no longer has the support of a man, she can still take care of herself and her children, if she has any. And if a woman is married, she should know, as well as let her husband know, that she’s with the man she’s with not because she needs him, but because she wants to be with him.

Personal Life

The worst thing to happen to a child is to be in a household filled with anger and animosity. Children of divorce see divorce completely different than their parents. They see divorce from an outside perspective; as a third party. As adults, we really underestimate kids and how smart they really are. A couple that’s on the verge of a breakup can be as quiet as a fish when fighting, but they still won’t be able t hide their anger towards the other person. What they desperately want to see in order for them to be happy is their parents happy, whether it’s the parents being together or apart. It’s better for kids to have two loving homes than one that’s toxic. That’s why it’s always a relief for kids when parents sit them down to tell them their family is breaking up. To the parents, it may seem like a surprise, but to the kids, it really isn’t. In fact, kids see a family breaking up as a good, healthy thing – for them and for their parents.

I probably shouldn’t have use the word ‘always’, though. Of course, there are children of divorce that wish their parents were still together. Kelly Clarkson previously said in an interview that her two kids wished their parents were still together. For the most part, children of divorce understand their parents and their decisions as they get older and obtain their own lives; I know I did. Some other children of divorce choose to resent their parents for getting a divorce for one reason or another.

No matter the case, as parents, we should always remember that we divorce our spouses; not our children. Our children have nothing to do with our marital issues. They are merely victims. And though they have nothing to do with your marital issues, they are greatly affected by them. That’s why if we’re ever in a situation where we’re on the brick of a divorce, we can’t just think of ourselves, but the kids too. That’s why we need to protect them at all cost and make the transition is smooth as possible, whatever that might be.

No matter the case, it’s important for kids to witness a healthy, stable relationship. It’s important for their future; for how they view relationships themselves. This factor alone could be a motivating factor to get a divorce. If your relationship with your child’s other parent is toxic and your child witnesses that toxicity, it’s best to get a divorce and potentially get along better as co-parents rather as partners. The child then will have the opportunity to witness their parents both work on their happiness separately and potentially witness their parents have a better, healthier relationships with other partners if the parents choose to.

Health

After her divorce from Brandon Blackstock, Kelly Clarkson started working on herself and her health. We, as fans, noticed that, overtime, she lost a lot of weight. In an interview with People Magazine earlier this year, she opened up about her wellness journey:

“I was very unhappy in L.A. and had been for several years. I needed a fresh start. We told NBC, ‘I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, I just can’t stay here anymore for my mental health; for me and my kids.’ They weren’t doing well either. For the past few years, I’d just been showing up and smiling and doing what I’m supposed to do, but you can only compartmentalize so long until you break.”

“We (Clarkson and her two children) go walk the dogs a few times at the park. We’ll go for ice cream because my daughter will wear me down. We’ll go make slime and we go to the museum. Walking in the city is quite the workout. And I’m really into infrared saunas right now. And I just got a cold plunge because everybody wore me down. eat a healthy mix. I dropped weight because I’ve been listening to my doctor — a couple years I didn’t. And 90 percent of the time I’m really good at it because a protein diet is good for me anyway. I’m a Texas girl, so I like meat — sorry, vegetarians in the world!”

“I was going through a really rough few years, and even in the first season it was rough behind closed doors,” she says. “Just to be able to come into season 5 feeling good and knowing my kids feel good— and the dust has settled. Season 5 is my first season to actually enjoy every minute of it.”

Mental health IS health, and sometimes, as women, we forget to take care of ourselves in our marriages because we’re so focused on making things work with our spouses. Especially if a marriage is on the verge of crumbling, our spouses won’t be a motivating factor to be in a healthy state of mind. No matter the case, our spouses aren’t responsible for our happiness; we are. In a case of a divorce, a woman can rediscover herself and self-worth, and therefore, do the work necessary to make sure she’s happy and healthy, mentally and physically. It’s not only good for her, but for the kids to see and witness as well.