Olivia Munn: Finding A Life Balance Following A Diagnosis To Be Able To Go Back To Work

On my previous blog post, I mentioned American – Vietnamese actress Olivia Munn; and I did it for a very good reason. If you haven’t seen her, or you think you might’ve seen her somewhere, Munn appeared in movies such as, ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ with Sarah Jessica Parker, ‘Magic Mike’ with Channing Tatum, ‘Office Christmas Party’ with Jennifer Aniston, ‘Ocean’s 8’ with Sandra Bullock and ensemble cast, as well as ‘Love Wedding Repeat’ with Sam Clafling and Frieda Pinto.

Not much was known about Munn’s personal life until 2021, when her new relationship with comedian, John Mulaney, began. During the exact same time, Mulaney was going through a divorce with his wife of 7 years, Annamarie Tendler. Because of the timing and circumstances , Mulaney was accused of cheating on his wife. And, according to what I heard, his now-ex-wife sacrificed having children with him as he was very clear that he didn’t want to have children, and yet Munn got pregnant with Mulaney’s child very soon after they got together. As a woman, I can’t imagine what went on in Tendler’s head after all that’s happened. Nevertheless, I’m happy she’s in a new relationship. Munn and Mulaney’s child, a son named Malcom, was born in November 2020.

All seemed well. The couple couldn’t stop themselves from gushing on being new parents. Their Instagram feeds were filled with their son’s photos. Their platforms started becoming a personal baby feed rather than a promotional tool. Munn, in particular, not only used her platform to promote her work, but she also used it to speak out against Anti-Asian sentiments, harassment and assault during the Covid-19 pandemic as she comes from an Asian background. Nevertheless, the family of 3 seemed to be perfectly fine, and maybe that was the case until it wasn’t.

In March of this year, Munn revealed that she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2023. Like I mentioned in the previous blog post, Munn’s mammogram didn’t initially detect the cancer, for the reason that it detects 4 out of 5 types of breast cancer. Luckily, her OBGYN recommended testing for the other 20%. That was when the breast cancer was detected, and it was determined that it was high risk. When she finally got her official diagnosis, in a period of 10 months, she underwent four surgeries, including a double masectomy. The cancer diagnosis was aggressive and fast moving, but was caught early enough for Munn to be able to have options. She also had a medically induced menopause.

In the aftermath of her surgery, she saw her doctor for a follow-up appointment and to get her bandages removed. On this particular experience, Munn said, ‘I saw myself for the first time and I was in shock. It was incredibly hard,” she says. Despite the doctor’s analysis that it looked “fantastic,” the physical embodiment of what she had gone through was numbing. “It was a shock. It was a shock to my system. I had such a hard time, I remember just looking in the mirror with him and just having no emotion, just taking in what he was saying. When I got home, I undressed and looked in the mirror again, and that’s when I just absolutely broke down. It’s much better, but it’s not the same, and that’s okay. I’m here, and I’m extremely happy that I got the opportunity to fight. I was given that chance, and I know a lot of people in my situation don’t have that as an option. So I’m extremely grateful.’

Munn and Mulaney’s son, Malcom, was only a year old. I now have a one year old myself, and I can’t imagine having to go through what both Munn and Mulaney had to go through during her cancer battle, but it just goes to show that when you have no choice but to be strong during a tough situation, especially for your child, that’s all you’ll be – strong (and resilient). And the reason why I mentioned Munn in my previous post is actually small, but extremely important. It goes back to women and health, and how women are seen as less than in the healthcare system. It takes having one, just one, good doctor, who’s empathetic enough to make that one extra step to make a difference and save a woman’s life. If Munn’s doctor simply went by the rule book, Munn would’ve probably been dead, and her son would’ve lost his mother at a very young age. In hindsight, Munn’s OBGYN not only saved her, but her son as well. I went through a similar situation during my epilepsy struggles, but I just can’t imagine having to go through that with my child in tow, and having to be afraid of losing my life and my son living life without me starting at a young age. If it wasn’t for that one doctor, I probably wouldn’t have had my son in the first place.

Back in March, Munn attended The Vanity Fair Oscars party with Mulaney. At the time, she hadn’t made her cancer diagnosis and battle public. That meant that extreme measure needed to be taken in order to hide Munn’s scars and wounds on her body that would identify that anything was ‘wrong’ with her body. That meant she had to wear a certain type of dress and get her makeup done a certain type of way, in her scenario, a tattoo-like manner, which was an idea that was implemented by her makeup artist, Diane Buzzetta. She also was forced to grow her hair to hide her battle scars.

‘Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, ‘Oh, my hair is so long now, and it’s because of this.’ And sometimes it makes me a little sad that I still want to hide certain aspects. But then I remind myself that those are battle wounds and I can show them what I want, and I can hide them when I want. I don’t beat myself up for anything I’m feeling on any given day, I just let myself feel it. There’s a really nice peace that comes with that. I’m much more forgiving of myself. And it’s really fun to go back to work without all of the doubt in your head … when you’re acting, you really need to be able to really be in the moment. I think I was always able to do it, but it was harder to do because you really have to quiet all the outside noise. But I’m just a lot kinder to myself, which means every day is a lot easier to take on and manage.’

Since the news broke of Munn’s cancer diagnosis, The New York Time reported that women really should be getting their mammograms done starting in their 40’s and then revisiting assessment in their 50’s. According to statistics, 1 in 8 women will develop a breast cancer diagnosis their lifetime. It’s literally crazy to think about, especially since 40 isn’t even an old age. In fact, that’s when life starts for a woman, in its own cosmic kind of way. In today’s world, more and more women start their lives when they’re either in their 40’s or nearing 40’s. And what I mean by that is we see more and more women get married and have children in their 40’s while they concentrate on their careers in their 20’s and 30’s. Look at Eva Mendes as an example. She had her first child at 40. With that, she quit acting altogether after concentrating on her career for 20+ years. Keep in mind, she still works, but not in the acting world.

And just like Mendes, Olivia Munn also had her first child in her 40’s. But unlike Mendes, she continued acting after having a baby. During the time of her official breast cancer diagnosis, she had plans to film another movie. For obvious reasons, she had to back out of being a part of the movie. Now, a year later, she’s gotten her life back on track with her new normal, and she’s ready to go back to work. And to repeat what Munn said about the matter, because it’s truly more important than one might think, ‘When you’re acting, you really need to be able to really be in the moment. I think I was always able to do it, but it was harder to do because you really have to quiet all the outside noise. But I’m just a lot kinder to myself, which means every day is a lot easier to take on and manage.’

As a regular person, you might think to yourself that Munn’s words don’t apply to you. But trust me when I say that they actually do, and more than you know. Yes, as an actress in the industry, it’s a woman’s job to look good and feel good in order to partake a movie or TV role, no matter what that might be. But so do you as a woman leading a ‘normal’ life. I know I couldn’t work when I was at my worst health wise. I couldn’t fully be present for my clients. I couldn’t bring in all my 150% work ethic into any project I was assigned to do. I was going through a lot of changes in my life at the time due to my new epilepsy diagnosis, and with that, I was struggling with depression. The quality of work I was putting in for clients was on a decline. In fact, due to me continuing to work when I wasn’t in the right mind to do so, I’d lost a longtime client who was the first ever person to believe in my quality of work in the first place when I was just starting out. I can’t say I blame him for that. He gave me enough chances. My work just wasn’t up to par.

Having that happen to me was a real wake up call. Losing my longtime client that I’d been working with for years made me realize that I needed to take a break. I needed to put in the work on myself and well-being before anything else. I knew that if I didn’t take my health as my #1 priority, I’d lose just about anything and everything that I worked so hard for for years. And I’m not just talking about work. I’m talking all aspects of my life, including my personal life. When I reflect on that point in my life, I immediately think of ‘Love & Other Drugs’, a movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway as Jamie and Maggie. This 2010 marked the duo’s reunion from their time on ‘Brokeback Mountain’, which also starred the late Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams.

‘Love & Other Drugs’ follows Jamie, a womanizer who, to his surprise, falls in love with Maggie, a woman who’s in the first stages of Parkinson’s Disease. Jamie and Maggie initially agree to obtain a relationship that’s strictly based on sex as neither of them is interested in falling in love. Nevertheless, after connecting on a much deeper level, much to their surprise, they eventually do fall in love with one another. Maggie, in particular, has a hard time digesting the fact that letting her guard down and letting someone take care of her. She’s very determined to be an independent woman despite her newfound illness. That meant to never allow anyone to fall in love with her, for the fear that if some ever did, she’d ‘ruin’ their life. Throughout the movie, we see Maggie begin to struggle doing her every-day tasks due to her illness. She’s a photographer. She NEEDS her hands to work in order to do her job. These types of changes in your life are hard to swallow.

It can be heartbreaking for anyone who was an able-bodied, healthy person to suddenly become crippled, and even more so, to slowly become crippled. With the thought of you becoming weaker and weaker day by day, night by night, you become crippled on emotional level as well. You want to have your life back to how it was before. You crave to go back in time and be the old version of you. But you also know that what you wish for can’t happen. In time, it’s almost like you become dead inside. Mostly, it’s because, at times, your illness takes so much of you that you start wishing that you were actually dead.

I remember watching ‘Love & Other Drugs’ for the first time, and I didn’t fully understand it. I didn’t understand Maggie’s point of view. It was only after I was diagnosed with epilepsy and had to endure a life with it that I understood where Maggie was coming from. I watched the movie again years after the first time, when my life looked completely different than it when I watched the movie for the first time. It was a completely different experience. I saw myself in Maggie. I saw myself in her. Through her story, I felt like I was watching myself in a way. Though Parkinson’s and epilepsy aren’t even remotely the same, The effects both illnesses can have on those struggling can be very, very similar. On my second watch, I connected with Anne Hathaway’s character, and I saw myself in her. I connected with her in living my new normal and accepting is my reality. I had to adapt to that normal and, in a way, accept it for what it was.

I even had an understanding as to why Maggie decided to break off her relationship with Jamie. Throughout the movie, Jamie does endless research on how to cure Maggie’s disease and takes her to different hospitals throughout the country. The fact of the matter is, however, that there isn’t. There’s only the ability to manage it rather than curing it. Maggie goes along with Jamie’s plan for a while, but leaves him in the midst of chaos. She tells Jamie she feels like he only loves her if he knows she’ll get better, but the reality is, he doesn’t seem to accept it, and she can’t be with someone who will love only a certain version of her that she’ll never be. I resonated with that, because when you find someone you love that loves you while you’re ill, you want someone who will allow you to have a sense of normalcy. Going to endless doctor’s appointments and hospitals to only have the hope to find a cure to your ill significant other doesn’t give them a sense of normalcy. It only reminds them of how sick they really are, and it gives them a sense that they’re loved with a condition. That’s just not a way to live a life.

Not much is known about Maggie’s work life as the story is told through Jamie’s point of view, but it’s implied that there will come a time where she won’t be able to work at all as she won’t be able to use her hands. Not everyone is lucky and fortunate to be still be able to do what they love while living with a cruel illness. Even though it’s ‘just a movie’, seeing Maggie’s story-line unfold as someone who’s also living with an illness that could potentially be a life-threat, you really start seeing and understanding how privileged you actually are to still be able to do all the things that you do; even the little things that are taken for granted.

Just as I mentioned previously, when Olivia Munn was going through the process of being diagnosed with breast cancer, she was about to start working on filming a movie. But those plans, of course, had to be derailed in order for her to get the proper treatment in order to beat cancer; and in the midst of it all, she had a child to take care of. Your children don’t care that their parent has a potentially deadly illness. They still need to be taken care of. Luckily, Munn had a great partner who took over everything and was taking on the work of two parents while also taking care of her during her cancer battle. That’s the real test of a partnership – in sickness and in health. One’s battle with an illness isn’t just a battle for the one battling, but for their loving partner as well.

Once the physical battle is over, an emotional one comes. You learn to live your life as a whole new person following your illness. It’s a grieving process. You’re grieving the person that you once were and coming to terms with the new version of you. Munn had to do that while also being a mother to her son. Having to do so with a child at hand can be even more difficult. But having to do so while having a child at hand can be motivating. Your child will motivate you to do the work that’s necessary to do on yourself so you be can be the best version of yourself so that you can be a better parent for your child, and so that you can set the best example for your child.

Munn revealed that she’s only now getting back to work after her cancer battle. You might say to yourselves that an entire year is a long time to recover, but it’s not if you really look closely at Munn’s situation and try to understand it through her eyes. She first had to go through her battle with cancer. She then had to go the physical difficulties that followed. And then, she had to go through the process of accepting her changed body, which is much harder for a woman than it is for a man, as well as grieving the person she once was and accepting the new person that she’s become. All while having a child. And I’m leaving you here with Munn’s quote for a third time because it describes the situation perfectly. ‘….you really need to be able to really be in the moment. I think I was always able to do it, but it was harder to do because you really have to quiet all the outside noise. But I’m just a lot kinder to myself, which means every day is a lot easier to take on and manage.’