Jennifer Lopez: How Can One Career Path Fail And The Other Thrive For A Woman?

The previous post heavily discussed Diddy and his very troubling behaviour towards his ex-girlfriend, Cassie, and other women as well. Cassie isn’t his only well-known ex. The late Kim Porter, who passed away in 2018, and Jennifer Lopez are too. It was reported that Diddy was abusive to Porter as well throughout their relationship. He was accused of being responsible for getting into a physical altercation with Porter’s ex, music executive Shakir Stewart, over their relationship. Stewart died by suicide in 2008. And by physical altercation, I mean it was one sided, where Diddy beat Stewart and broke a chair over Stewart’s head. Porter’s friends claim that Diddy was responsible for her death, though this claim hasn’t been proven (yet). Diddy was, however, notably abusive towards Porter, as told by eye witnesses since that infamous video of Diddy beating Cassie was released to the public.

Diddy and Porter were together on and off between 1994 and 2007. During his off period with Porter, Diddy was in a 2 year relationship with Jennifer Lopez between 1999 and 2001. Considering the fact that J.Lo is such a hopeless romantic, I think we all can agree that the smartest thing she’d ever done in her life and career is not marry Diddy, and not even consider marriage with him. There had been reports of Diddy showing abusive tendencies towards her throughout their relationship too. And though these tendencies weren’t as bad as they were with Porter and Cassie, they were still not okay.

But I don’t want to talk about Diddy. In fact, I hope to NEVER have to talk about him in future blog posts ever again. There’s talk that cancel culture in the entertainment industry is toxic and wrong on so many levels, because people change and everyone deserves a second chance. Diddy, however, is one person that NEEDS to be cancelled. Instead of talking about Diddy, I want to concentrate on J.LO, her career and her personal life. As of late, Lopez has been in the news for the interest of her personal life rather than her work. And her having her new Netflix movie, ‘Atlas’, having come out just recently, there’s just no escape from reporters asking the questions that no one actually cares to get answers to. While promoting the movie in Mexico City, Lopez was asked by a reporter whether she was divorcing Ben Affleck,, her co-star, Simu Lui, came to her defense and dodged the question completely.

Though ‘Atlas’ was the #1 Netflix movie during its opening week, as well as the second week, the reviews that came in were fairly harsh. Critics called it mindless, forgettable, as well as the type of movie that you only watch half way through. Also this year, Lopez released her first studio album in 10 years, ‘This Is Me…Now’, a follow up to her 2002 album, ‘This Is Me…Then’ a love letter to Ben Affleck. The album followed a self-made and self-produced musical film promoting the new music, ‘This Is Me…Now: A Love Story’, along with the making-of documentary film titled ‘The Greatest Love Story Never Told’. Both are available on Amazon Prime. The musical film starred Lopez herself, as well as Post Malone, Sofia Vergara, Derek Hough, Fat Joe, Jay Shetty, and more in supporting roles. Even Ben Affleck made a cameo in the film.

I tried watching the musical film. And when I say I tried, I mean I really, REALLY tried. But no amount of weed could make me high enough for that sh*t. Of the 86 minutes, I lasted about 7-10. But it was the making-of documentary that really caught my eye. It was so good that I actually didn’t want it to end. And I’m not the only one who thought it was, literally, amazing. It has an impressive 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The musical film currently has a rating of 5.4 on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s a much higher rating than I’d give the film, but that’s just me. I’d give it a 2, and that’s me being nice just because it’s Jennifer Lopez and I’m all about women supporting women. The New York Times wrote a review for the film. In their tittle, they asked the question we were probably all asking ourselves, ‘Is She For Real?’ It also didn’t have much of anything nice to say about the newest album either, saying that J.Lo’s new music is nothing new. It’s something that it’s something we could expect from her 25 years ago, and in a way, she and her music are stuck at where it WAS. She’s certainly not Taylor Swift, who’s known for never releasing the same type of music with each of her 11 studio albums. Every time we think she can’t come up with anything new, she does.

The making-of documentary gave us, the viewers, an entirely different side to Lopez that we hadn’t seen in her entire career – her vulnerability. The documentary opens with Lopez saying to the camera, ‘I’m sure people watching from the outside were like, ‘What is this f—— girl’s problem?!’’ She was referring to her being married 4 times. She’s currently married Ben Affleck, of course. But she was also previously married to Marc Anthony, who’s the father of her two children, as well as to Chris Judd and Ojani Noa. According to Lopez, it was due to her compulsive behaviour and her pretending that everything was okay following each of her divorces. This goes back to my point that not marrying Diddy, and not even being engaged to him, was Lopez’s smartest decision.

Affleck had a much bigger role in the documentary film. We saw him support his wife throughout the process of her making the film, and he believed in the project just as much as she did even though no one else did. But literally… practically no one believed in the project. So much so that Lopez lost her budgeting for it from an investment deal, so every single penny, all $20 million of it, came out of her own pocket. According to Lopez’s business partner, Elaine Goldsmith Thomas, who also appeared in the documentary film explained that this decision was about was about ‘investing in yourself, literally.’ Affleck, who’s a filmmaker in his own right, and a good one at that, said in a voiceover, ‘Making a movie with your own money is the most famous cardinal sin in Hollywood.’ I’m sure Lopez herself knew that, both by having Affleck as a husband, as well as her not being a stranger to Hollywood by any means. She’s been appearing in movies since the 90’s. But she took the risk anyway. Lopez isn’t a stranger to taking risks in her career. When She made ‘Hustlers’, she did her job completely for free, and took commission out of what the movie made in the box office . It was a big risk, because you never know whether or not a movie, or any work of art is going to be successful or not when it comes out is available for the public. She ended up making more than what she would’ve made if she took a one time salary for it.

While making ‘This Is Me…Now: A Love Story’, Lopez saw herself having trouble getting her peers and former colleagues to appear in her musical film. People like Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift Jason Momoa, Vanessa Hudgens, Jennifer Coolidge, Lizzo, and Snoop Dogg were asked to be make cameos in the film. They all said they were unavailable due to scheduling conflicts, but Lopez knew otherwise. She knew that they didn’t want to appear in the film because they didn’t believe in it and thought it was crazy. The one person who gave Lopez a straight answer as to why he didn’t want to appear in the film was Anthony Ramos, who starred in Lin-Manual Miranda’s ‘In The Heights.’ He didn’t want to appear in Lopez’s film because he’s friends with her ex-husband, Marc Anthony. He initially agreed to appear with her in the musical number for ‘Rebound’, which shows Lopez being in an abusive relationship with a drunken partner. but changed his mind when he assumed it was about Anthony, though Lopez never actually mentions who the song is actually about. The musical number specifically shows Lopez being in an abusive relationship with a drunken partner. Lopez tried to get Ramos to change his mind, but to no avail, and Lopez, in turn, said, ‘But if we only did our art thinking about what the media’s going to say, what the f— are we doing?’ Lopez never said who the song and the musical number was about, but….Knowing what we know about Diddy and his behaviour towards women, maybe we can all assume that this musical number was referring to her relationship with him.

Though Lopez couldn’t get Anthony Ramos to agree to appear in her musical film, she did get the legendary Jane Fonda, whose more recent work includes the Netflix TV show, ‘Grace & Frankie’ and the Tom Brady-inspired movie, ’80 For Brady’, to make an appearance. Both the show and movie co-starred Fonda’s longtime friend, Lily Tomlin. Lopez and Fonda starred together in the 2005 romantic comedy, ‘Monster-In-Law’. Coincidentally, Michael Vartan co-starred in the film as Lopez’s husband-to-be, Kevin. And the reason I mention him is because he used to date Jennifer Garner in the early 2000’s. Garner was previously married to Affleck, and the duo has three children together. Lopez, Affleck and Garner are regularly seen together supporting their children. Garner was even seen spending time with Lopez’s twins, Max and Emme, without Lopez and Affleck.

But that’s not actually why I mentioned Jane Fonda Here. I didn’t mention her just for the excuse of talking about J.Lo’s personal life. I wanted to mention her because she was the one who, even though she participated in and supported Lopez by appearing in the musical film, she tried really hard to talk Lopez out of sharing so much of her and Affleck’s Love story. Fonda is heard telling Lopez over the phone in ‘The Greatest Love Story Never Told’, ‘I want you to know that I don’t entirely know why, but I feel invested in you and Ben, and I really, really, really want this to work. However, this is my concern. Like, it feels too much like you’re trying to prove something instead of just living it. You know, every other photograph is the two of you kissing and the two of you hugging.’  

Lopez, in turn, laughs and replies, ‘That’s just us living our life.’ J.Lo didn’t seemed fazed by Fonda’s words. She understood where she was coming from. She understood that Fonda’s words came from love and care. Lopez said so herself in a later scene in the documentary. Fonda is then shown getting ready to film her part for the musical film, and voices her concern to Lopez again. ‘I get real scared, you know, with all that s— about the Grammys and he looks unhappy and I’m like, ‘Oh, my God, what’s happening?’’ Fonda says. Lopez answers and says, ‘Nothing! He was like, ‘I’ve become the symbol of the beleaguered man.’’ Affleck went on to poke fun at that moment in a 2024 Super Bowl ad.

Nevertheless, Fonda wasn’t wrong about her worries. Affleck is known to be notoriously private, and he himself opened up in the documentary about his hesitations of J.Lo being so open about their relationship. When appearing in the documentary, he says, ‘I did really find the beauty and the poetry and the irony in the fact that it’s the greatest love story never told. And if you’re making a record about it, that seems kind of like telling it.’ In another scene, he opens up more and tells the camera,’ Jen was really inspired by this experience, which is how artists do their work. ‘I certainly do the same things, but things that are private, I have always felt, are sacred and special because, in part, they’re private. So this was something of an adjustment for me.’ On coming to terms with Lopez sharing their relationship with the world, Affleck said, ‘I don’t really love being in the making of documentary about my personal life, which is why I’m so relieved that I’m not really, it seems like I might be in this, but I’m not really. I was worrying for no reason. The movie wasn’t about me. It was about the ability to love yourself and that love story is a lot f—— harder to find than Prince Charming.’

Though Lopez and Affleck only got married two years ago, the duo has a history that’s more than 20 years in the making. They were in a relationship in the early 2000’s, and were engaged to be married, but broke off the wedding 3 days before the date. Fun Fact – their 2022 wedding venue was the same one where they were going to wed in 2004 before they broke off their engagement at the time. And of their rekindled romance, Affleck opened up and said, ‘Getting back together, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media. Then I sort of realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of like you’re going to marry a boat captain and (you’re like), ‘Well, I don’t like the water.’ We’re just two people with, kind of, different approaches trying to learn to compromise.’

‘The Greatest Love Story Never Told’, the ‘This Is Me…Now’ album and the musical film that followed were all released earlier this year. It’s only June, but so much has happened already since the time of the release of J.Lo’s musical comeback. A I previously mentioned, Lopez and Affleck are reportedly having marriage troubles. It was something that was noticed by the public when they hadn’t been photographed in 47 days. Lopez’s album didn’t get the sales that were expected, and her summer tour promoting the album didn’t sell enough tickets. So much so that she was forced to cancel several shows, and then she cancelled the tour altogether. When she announced the tour cancellation, she sad it was because she needed to spend more time with family. But is it??And now, the house that Lopez and Affleck shared is back on the market.

The one good thing about this time in J.Lo’s life is her acting career. Her new Netflix film, ‘Atlas’ is now the #1 most streamed movie for two weeks in a row. But with promotion going on, questions about the relationship are unavoidable. When a reporter asked her about her relationship troubles with Affleck, Lopez responded, ‘You can do better than that,’ with her co-star, Simu Lui defending her. A lot of questions were raised in my head. The more I saw Jennifer Lopez’s name in the press, the more questions I had. How is it that Jennifer Lopez is thriving as an actress, but is failing as a recording artist?

My husband and I recently got to watch Lopez’s movie with Owen Wilson, ‘Marry Me’. It co-stars the likes of Sarah Silverman, Michelle Buteau, Jameela Jamil, and Maluma. And suddenly, the answer was right there under my nose, and it was my husband who pointed it out to me. The 2022 rom-com was practically based on Lopez’s life. It focuses on Kat, played by Lopez, a singer who is getting ready to perform with her fiancé and get married to him on stage in front of thousands of concert goers and fans. But just as Kat prepares to go to the alter, a gossip website publishes a video of Bastian, her fiancé, played by Maluma, cheating on Kat with her assistant. Devastated by this betrayal, Kat impulsively marries Charlie after she sees him in the crowd holding a ‘Marry Me’ sign.

This very much describes Lopez and her life. In fact, she said so herself. In an interview, she said that part of the reason that she got married so many times was because she’s an impulsive person. Her character in ‘Marry Me’ was also married 3 times before she was about marry Bastian. We see Kat take her work very seriously; even too seriously. She’s all about promoting herself, to the point that she’s sacrificing her own needs and the needs of the people around her, specifically Charlie. She even goes on a promotional tour with Bastian to market their duet, ‘Marry Me’. First of all, the song was already a hit and didn’t need any more promotion than it already got, especially after that public sting from the beginning of the movie. Second, Kat and Bastian aren’t even together, so the promotion is a sham from that moment forward. And thirdly, Kat was needed somewhere else. Charlie and his daughter needed Kat at that moment more than the public needed her, and at that moment, she forgot the importance of what was right in front of her.

In hindsight, Kat and J.Lo are practically the same person. I’ve been following Lopez’s career for a while now. I watched so many of her movies, and you can be sure that I’ve danced around in the club to her songs more than once or twice, or even three times. For decades now, She’d never stopped working. If she’s not making music, she’s making movies. If she’s not making movies, she’s making music. At some periods, she even does both; like this specific era. She had several movies come out in a period of two years, an album, a musical film that she made herself, and two documentaries, the other being Netflix’s ‘Halftime’, released in 2022. And to top it all off, until recently, she was about to go on tour. She also has her own business that she’s in charge of that has nothing to do with her work in showbiz. That’s a heck of a lot to be made by anyone – man or woman; but especially for a woman who has two children and a husband at home.

Lopez’s relationship with Affleck was always news-worthy; both now in 2020’s, as well as back then in the 2000’s. It’s evident now in that we now count the days that they’re not seen in public down to a tea. I’m surprised we’re not counting the hours too. The fact that the couple is having marriage troubles isn’t actually news, and we shouldn’t be treating J.Lo and Affleck’s marriage as if it’s anything special. Literally, each and every couple has marriage problems around the world at one point or another. My husband and I certainly have had our share of marriage troubles. And it could be due to the same reasons that J.Lo and Affleck are having marriage troubles too.

As women, we want to do it all. We want to prove to the world that we’re more than capable of doing it all just like men, because they do it all the time. The fact of the matter is, however, is that even though we CAN do it all, we also need to know when to stop and take breaks in order for us to have time for ourselves and what’s around us. Personally, and this is just my opinion that probably no one actually cares about, I don’t think J.Lo should’ve released her album in the first place. She should’ve taken a break from the public eye, disappeared for a while after making her latest movie, ‘Atlas’, and THEN maybe release an album. She could’ve probably come up with a better album subject matter, as well as better promotional material for it as well. We already have access to the marriage through the media. We don’t need any more access to it. It’s not 2002 anymore where the world is obsessed with Bennifer. The world is actually sick of Bennifer. But maybe it’s just me. Or maybe she should concentrate herself on just making movies. She makes great movies, and no one can tell me otherwise. We can’t forget movies like ‘Shotgun Wedding’, ‘Second Act’, and, of course, ‘Selena’.

And speaking of promotion – J.Lo does way too much of it. If you look at her Instagram page, it’s practically filled with 100% promotional content. Nothing about it speaks, ‘Get to know me, Jennifer Lopez, the person. Even Taylor Swift still gives a little insight into her personal life even though she’s mostly about marketing her work and promoting herself. Someone of Lopez’s status doesn’t even need to do much promotion to get herself out there. On the contrary, the fact that she’s promoting herself so much could be the reason why people are stepping away from buying her album and the cancelled tour.

No matter the case, I wish J.Lo nothing but the best, and I hope this break will help her work out her issues in her marriage. But most importantly, I hope this break gives her time to continue working on herself, ad well as her journey to self-love, because the work that you put on yourself never actually ends. Isn’t what her album, ‘This Is Me…Now’ all about in the first place; or what it’s supposed to be about, anyway?