Paris Hilton: Analyzing Her Friendships With Nicole Richie And Lindsay Lohan And How Both Represent Her Trauma

The previous two posts referenced the Kardashians. One referenced Kim Kardashian, the one that made the entire family famous, and the other didn’t just reference Nicole Brown Simpson, as well as her friend, Ron Goldman, but was all about the two altogether. It was an entirely different blog post than what I’d previously published, and it’s because it was too special and too important to make it the same as anything else I’d done. That blog post was years in the making. I was just not ready for it.

To the public, or at least to me, Nicole Brown Simpson is the face of domestic abuse. She represents exactly what happens when a woman stays in an abusive relationship, as well as what happens when a the legal system doesn’t take a woman’s claims of domestic abuse seriously. it’s not about the who heard what and who saw what, but rather the legality of it all. The Kardashian family is now known for their reality shows, business ventures, and social media presence. But they come from wealth. Rob Kardashian Sr., who died in 2003 at age 58 of cancer, was well-known lawyer, and represented OJ Simpson in the trial where he was acquitted. I don’t think he even believed he’d get away with the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman.

But I don’t want to talk about the Kardashians. Instead, I want to talk about the person that practically started it all for the Kardashian family, particularly Kim, and that’s Paris Hilton. She’s the heiress of the Hilton Hotels, but she made a name for herself in her own right over the years. She started out getting herself out there in the partying scene. Back in the early 2000’s, it didn’t seemed like there was a party she ever missed. She was photographed at a club, what seemed like everyday, with her friends, and her face would be all over magazines.

The history

Hilton’s most notable friends at the time were Nicole Richie, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears. Paris and Nicole had known each other since they were 2 years old. Kim worked as Paris’s assistant in the early 2000’s, and the two were often seen partying together, which was exactly what Kim wanted as all she was looking for at the time was fame and fortune. Fortune she already had as she came from wealth, but she obviously wanted more.

Paris started being seen with Britney in public in 2006 after her divorce from Kevin Federline. It was actually Paris and Britney who took the first selfie EVER. They invented the selfie. Years later, Britney opened up about that time in her life; about her friendship with Paris. She said Paris helped her take care of her kids, who were just little babies at this time, following her divorce, and was a great help to her in her time of her need as she struggled with postpartum depression. And they stayed friends through the years. Paris even attended Britney’s wedding to Sam Asghari in 2022.

Lindsay Lohan seemed to have been a one-time friend of Paris’. They were even photographed together along with Britney at one point. Their feud started back when Paris appeared on ‘Watch What Happens Live’ in 2019 when Andy Cohen asked Hilton to say 3 nice things about Lohan, to which Hilton replied, ‘Beyond, lame, and embarrassing.’ Logan’s team was quick to respond to Hilton’s words and said, ‘Obviously Paris needs to feel relevant and is desperate for attention.’

When she appeared on Jenny McCarthy’s SirusXM, Paris opened up about her Lohan statement by saying, You know, I was really nervous to go on the show because it was my first time on that show, and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know what [Andy Cohen] was going to ask,” she said. “And I just, at that moment, I didn’t even know—he was was like, ‘Say three nice things.’ I didn’t know what to say. And I feel bad now because, like, whatever. It’s beyond. I really—I didn’t know what to say, but then I talked to my mom last night after, and she taught me if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’

And finally, there’s Paris’ friendship with Nicole Richie. As I mentioned before, the duo had been friends since they were toddlers. Richie has actually known Kim Kardashian since childhood as well. In fact, Paris, Nicole, Kim and Rashida Jones were all childhood friends. Paris and Nicole had their own TV show back in the early 2000’s, ‘The Simple Life’. It showcased the duo staying with a farm family for 5 weeks to live the life of a farmer and connect with people outside of their celebrity bubble. The show could be compared to ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’, but in reverse.

The show ran for four seasons, but not without its own share of drama. In 2005, there were rumours that Hilton and Richie had a falling out. Though nothing was confirmed during that time, Hilton did hint at a feud when she revealed that she wanted Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart’s daughter, to replace Nicole. She said, ‘Kim is hysterical and crazy fun, and I love that about her. Nicole and I have been best friends since we were babies, and I love her, but I want to do what’s best for the show.’

It was obviously a cover up, and she didn’t actually love Nicole, not anymore at least, and that last part of the statement was bullsh*t. Hilton confirmed it later on when she said, ‘It’s no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends. Nicole knows what she did, and that’s all I’m ever going to say about it.’ Their show was in the midst of filming at the time, and season 4 was confirmed three months after the news of the feud came to be. Paris’ quest to have Nicole replaced by Kimberly Stewart didn’t come true, and the two filmed the season separately.

In recent years

By the following year, in 2006, Paris and Nicole reconciled. For the following 10 or so years, the duo was seen periodically, but not much was known about their reconciliation. In 2018, Richie was asked about her friendship with Paris when she was asked by a fan for an update. She said, Paris is somebody that’s been in my life since day one. So I haven’t spoken to her for a while, technically, but if you really want to get into it, my view of a friendship is somebody that you don’t necessarily have to talk to everyday … The short answer is: I haven’t spoken to her in a while, but we are very good friends. I love her.’ Paris, on her part, exchanged the same sentiment about Nicole when she appeared on ‘Watch What Happens’ Live’ in 2019, the same interview where she called Lindsay Lohan beyond, lame and embarrassing.

In 2021, Paris and Nicole proved that their friendship is stronger than ever when Nicole attended Paris’ wedding. The wedding was also attended by Demi Lovato, Kim Kardashian and more. In 2022, Paris wished Nicole a Happy Birthday on Instagram with a carousel of photos from their childhood and their time on ‘The Simple Life’. Paris wrote, ‘Happy Birthday @NicoleRichie! 💕🎂💕 So many fun, unforgettable and hilarious memories growing up together 👯‍♀️✨Wishing you an amazing birthday and sending you lots of love on your special day!💓’ Nicole responded with a comment, ‘Love you Sill! 😻’

And in May, fans were delighted as they finally got what they’ve all been waiting for since 2006. It was announced that Paris and Nicole have another show in the works slated to be released on Peacock.

This Is Paris

Her entire career, Paris put on a show when it comes to telling us who she really is. Her entire public personality was based on a lie, and we learned that when she released her 2020 documentary, ‘This Is Paris’, which is available on YouTube. I watched numerous of Paris’ documentaries throughout the years, and they all seemed to be the same. There was nothing new about any of them. I expected nothing different when I put on ‘This Is Paris’, but I was stupidly wrong.

‘This Is Paris’ was one of the best documentaries I’d seen in a very long time. I even watched it twice – once by myself and the second with my husband. As a viewer, I felt like I got to know Paris in a way that I never got to before. She was real and vulnerable throughout the documentary. Once it was released, Paris said in an interview that the documentary was supposed to show her at work, which is what she always shows in the documentaries she makes. At one point, she even had a ‘talent show’ where she was looking for a new best friend when she and Nicole were feuding.

As ‘This Is Paris’ was filmed, the director, Alexandra Dean, suggested to Paris to go into a different route. Paris agreed, and it became what we saw as the end result. Dean said in an interview with CNN, ‘I thought Paris is definitely unseen and misunderstood. I mean, I didn’t see her or understand her for decades. I definitely wrote her off. […] She has a billion dollar empire. She runs it and whether you like it or not, whether you like her or not, you have to respect that. It’s not an easy thing to do. She does it almost solo. I saw that up close.’

Paris was uncertain to share such deep information about her personal life, but she trusted Dean, and found the experience of sharing her experience with her healing and therapeutic. And even though she was a producer on the project, Paris didn’t have any creative authority. This was a big risk for her, because she ALWAYS had creative control in previous projects.

It was especially a big risk for Paris, because the subject matter was something that was the most vulnerable part of her life – the emotional, verbal, and physical abuse she experienced while attending a series of boarding schools as a teenager. The documentary also showcased Paris’ career from the very beginning up to the time of the release of the documentary. More specifically, it showed how the abuse she endured during her childhood reflected on her work and relationships as an adult. Moreover, the documentary showcased the work Paris is doing in the present day to end the abuse other young girls endure.

The takeaways

This particular documentary was different than anything else Paris Hilton has ever done in her entire career. But to me, as someone who’s gone through abuse, the documentary represented something personal for me. It was like a ‘AHA’ moment for me. It was like a sense of relief, because in a way, I saw myself in Paris. And as I watched the documentary, I started to understand her behaviour in the press more and more.

Domestic violence and abuse of any kind changes a woman (and a man) for the rest of her life. It doesn’t matter how many years have passed, it’s still there affecting you one way or another. As I told someone the story of my abuse and what I’d endured, they said to, ‘Oh, it’s in the past.’ No it’s not. It might it in the past for the abused, but not for the abused.

And to add to the trauma, Paris was electronically raped when her ex-boyfriend released their sex tape without her consent. I do believe her when she says the tape was released without her consent, unlike Kim Kardashian’s version of the release of her own sex tape with Ray-J. This event tormented Paris for many years to come. It was rumoured that Paris ended her friendship with Nicole Richie following her hosting gig on Saturday Night Live, when Nicole showed others Paris’ sex tape and was laughing along with them.

If that’s true, I really have no clue what Paris was thinking when she rekindled her friendship with Nicole. It could’ve been for business and promotion, which Paris doesn’t even need at this point, or it could’ve been partially due to her trauma. During my worst years following my own abuse events, I had a friend that randomly yelled out at a party that I was raped. It was embarrassing for me to even be seen following the confession that didn’t even come out of my own mouth. Me being raped was my biggest secret that I trusted her to keep, and she broke that trust. Nevertheless, I forgave her and we were friends for several more years after that. If I were to go back in time to that moment, I would’ve ended the friendship right there and then. And when she apologized, she wrote, ‘I’m sorry, but…’. We all know it’s not an apology.

I realize now that being friends with her was part of my trauma. I had two other significant friendships at the time, and they were just as toxic, if not more. I was friends with these people for years, and they al represented the most difficult time in my life. I saw one of these former friends of mine last year at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Seeing her again was actually very good for me, because it was then that I realized that I’ve healed and that that part of my life was finally over.

Knowing what I know now, I’d never be friends with any of these people. They represent my past, and I’d like them to stay in my past. That’s why I was so surprised that Paris rekindled her friendship with Nicole Richie. She was the one that initiated their reunion too. If the rumours are too and Richie did in fact show the sex tape to random people at SNL, that’s just something that’s unforthcoming. If that was my friend, I’d never be able to look at her again. But that’s just me.

Paris has also reconciled with Lindsay Lohan in the years since, and they had nothing but nice things to say about each other. When asked about their reconciliation, Paris said in an interview, ‘We’re not in high school anymore. We’re adults now.’ Many commentators laughed at her statement. She was an adult even then and was definitely not in high school anymore when the entire ordeal went down. She’s also 5 years older than Lohan. Now these years don’t make much of a difference, but when you’re a 25 year old woman who’s friends with a 20year old, these 5 years are crucial when it comes to one’s maturity level.

And though many people laughed at her, I, as someone who’s survived domestic violence and abuse, empathized with Paris. Being a survivor of such trauma isn’t an easy task. This trauma affects the body and the brain in ways that we can’t describe. Paris even said she chose surrogacy to have her two children not because of infertility, but because of her trauma. As someone who doesn’t understand this trauma you might laugh and think it’s utterly dumb and childish. And you’re right. It IS childish.

I guess what I’m trying to say is…

If you’re friends with someone you know acts like Paris Hilton like I described in this entire blog post, you can do one of the following:

1. Cut them some slack and be patient with them, be kind and empathetic towards them because they might’ve gone through something that you don’t know anything about.

2. Explain to them that this behaviour isn’t normal. If they’re good people, and if they’re ready to do so, they’ll take the advice and use it for the greater good. They might be acting the way that they do because it’s their normal and don’t understand that it’s not actual normal behaviour because no one’s told them.

3. Cut them out of your life. It’s okay to let go. You can’t help everyone, and sometimes people need to grow and learn on their own timeline. So let them go, and maybe your paths will cross in the future when both of you are ready to be in each other’s lives again.