Nick Carter: To Understand The Mindset Of An Abuser Through His Life And History

Paris Hilton is now a married mother of two. She married Carter Reum, an author, in 2021, and had two children with him, a son and a daughter born in January and November 2023 respectively. We can say in the present day that she’s got it all – the career, the marriage, and the kids – but that wasn’t always the case. We first got to know Paris in the early 2000’s, and we knew her more for her personal life and her inability to keep a man rather than the actually work that she’d done. Knowing what I know now about her (see previous post for reference), I completely understand why she couldn’t find the man that was right for her.

One of the many men she’d dated during her bachelorette days was Nick Carter, 1/5 of the Backstreet Boys and brother to the late Aaron Carter, who passed away in November 2022 at age 34. Their relationship was short-lived, only lasting 7 months, but a tormented one, to say the least. The two broke up in 2004, but not much is known about their breakup, nor about their relationship in the first place. In 2013 memoir, ‘Facing the Music And Living To Talk About It’, Carter had absolutely nothing nice to write about his ex. He wrote, ‘Paris was the worst person in the world for me to hook up with. [She] fed my worst impulses as far as partying.’

In 2004, Hilton was photographed by paparazzi with bruises on her body. It was immediately reported that Carter was responsible for the bruises. On his part, Carter denied the allegations. He told People Magazine at the time, ‘I’ll tell you one thing: I didn’t touch her. I’m not that kind of guy. I would never do that.’ Hilton didn’t say much about the breakup, nor about the bruising. She refused to press charges, and when asked for it, she simply said she was okay and happy to be single.

In her 2020 documentary, ‘This Is Paris’, Hilton opened up about the abuse she endured in her relationships. She said she was verbally and physically abused by 5 men that she’d dated, and though he wasn’t mentioned by name, it was assumed that one of the men Hilton was talking about was Nick Carter based on what she was saying in the documentary and what was said at the time of the breakup. Paris said, ‘We just got in an argument. I was trying to leave his house and he just got really mad and was just grabbing me and pulling me. I don’t really remember most of it because I’ve had worse stuff happen. I’ve been strangled, phones thrown at me, computers, and I accepted it because I almost thought it was so normal. Like, he loves me so much that he’s going this crazy. I just wanted so bad that I was willing to accept being hit or yelled at or screamed at or strangled…a lot of things.’

The Carter Family

Nick Carter comes from a very troubled family history. His parents are Robert, who died in 2017, and Jane. They divorced in 2003. Robert was an alcoholic and Jane was a stage mom. Nick got his start with The Backstreet Boys at the age of 13. He was the youngest of the 5 members. His brother, Aaron got his start at the age of 9, and he instantly became a superstar amongst teens and tweens alike. The brothers also had 3 sisters, Bobbie Jean, Leslie, and Aaron’s twin sister, Angel. Like Aaron, Bobbie Jean and Leslie had the same fate. Bobbie Jean passed away in 2023. Leslie passed away in 2012. All three siblings had trouble with substance abuse.

All five siblings were on their way to random and success, though the rest of the three never got the same level of fame and celebrity status as Nick and Aaron. In 2006, the all five siblings appeared in their own reality series, ‘House Of Carters.’ The show marked all five siblings being under the same roof in over a decade. In his memoir, Nick called the show ‘disastrous’. He wrote that laid bare all of their family dysfunctions.

Robert and Jane Carter came from poverty. Getting their children into show business was their way of bringing food to the table. But that, according to Nick, came at a price. In his 2013 book, he writes, ‘The turmoil and drama never seemed to end with my family. Havoc ruled most of the time, and we all paid a price for it. Because most of us couldn’t handle it well, it ultimately drove us apart.’ He also wrote of his upbringing, ‘My siblings and I weren’t particularly well-nurtured as kids. I’m sure our parents loved us, they didn’t demonstrate their love in ways that typically make kids feel safe and secure.’

In 2006, Angel Carter called Nick ‘the best brother ever.’ As he was the oldest of the five siblings and the more successful one of the five, he became, as he put it himself, the family’s fixer and financier. To him, joining the Backstreet Boys was a chance for him to change the course of his life, but with that he took a growing pattern of self- distractive behaviour.

Nick VS. Aaron

Unbeknownst to Nick, the brothers were competing as to who had a bigger career. In the new documentary, ‘Fallen Idols: Nick and Aaron Carter’, a family friend of the Carters named Jen said that the duos mother kept telling Aaron that he’d never be as good as his older brother, and that it put a lot of pressure on him. His tour manager, Mark Giovi, said that Aaron didn’t like to be reminded that he wasn’t on the same level as his older brother.

But their troubles escalated not just being competitive in their work, but a turmoil in their personal relationship as well. During Aaron’s childhood, all seemed well, at least publicly. And Nick was always there to support Aaron’s career as a big brother; again, publicly at least. Their troubles began to escalate and become known publicly after Nick wasn’t able to come to their sister Leslie’s funeral in 2012 and Aaron was made to believe it was because he didn’t love him, according to the same Jen from the documentary.

Things took a turn in 2017 when Aaron was arrested for DUI and possession of marijuana, as well as other related charges, with his then-girlfriend. Nick took to Twitter, now known as X, to reach out to his brother. He wrote, ‘To my brother: I love u no matter what & if u feel the need to reach for help, I am here and willing to help you get better.’ Aaron responded by tweeting, ‘If my own blood truly cared about my well-being, why wouldn’t he call me directly and have a conversation instead of making this about him through a very public forum? That’s not cool at all to use me for his PR and kick me while I am down. I love my family despite it through thick and thin.’

Aaron went to rehab later in 2017, and when he appeared in 2019 on ‘The Doctors, he said, After going to rehab, nobody came.I got a public tweet from my brother. ‘You live in Las Vegas. Three hours away. Get your a– in the car and come see your brother,” he said. “You need to make amends to me. You need to apologize to me. I haven’t even met my nephew.’ All charges were officially dropped in 2021.

In 2019, Nick filed a restraining order against Aaron after Aaron posted an Instagram Live of him loading a gun and threatening to kill Nick’s then pregnant wife and their unborn child. Nick wrote, ‘In light of Aaron’s increasingly alarming behavior and his recent confession that he harbors thoughts and intentions of killing my pregnant wife and unborn child, we were left with no choice but to take every measure possible to protect ourselves and our family. We love our brother and truly hope he gets the proper treatment he needs before any harm comes to himself or anyone else.’ Aaron responded by writing on Twitter, ‘I am astounded at the accusations being made against me and I do not wish harm to anyone, especially my family.’ Their sister, Angel, also filed a restraining order against Aaron.

Aaron Carter’s death

On November 5, 2022, it was announced that Aaron Carter passed away at the age of 34. It came as a complete shock, and yet, it wasn’t a surprise. It was almost as if we all wished it didn’t happen, but we also knew it was coming. Aaron died due to drowning after inhaling difluoroethane and taking alprazolam, the generic form of brand-name Xanax. He left behind an 11 month old son, Prince. Prince’s mother is his ex-fiancée, Melanie Martin. At the time of death, it’s believed that Aaron was still estranged from his siblings, and they never got the chance to reconcile.

Following his brother’s death, Nick posted a tribute to his fallen brother on Instagram. ‘My heart is broken. Even though my brother and I have had a complicated relationship, my love for him has never ever faded. I have always held on to the hope that he would somehow, someday want to walk a healthy path and eventually find the help that he so desperately needed…God, Please take care of my baby brother.’

In January 2023, Nick released a song as a tribute to Aaron, called ‘Hurts To Love You’, along with a video montage of the duo as children. The lyrics read, ‘Feel like we’ve been through some wars together/ Nobody else could understand/ Way too many nightmares to remember,” Carter sings over a spare, heartbeat-like beat. “Always hoped your tomorrows/ Would be better than the days before/ I hoped you’d find your road to follow/ To a place you were happy in this world,” he adds before the heartbreaking chorus, “Cuz it hurts to love you, but I love you still/ Miss you with all my heart you know I always will.’

Nick’s accusers

Over the years, numerous women accused Nick Carter of sexual assault and rape, including one woman who has cerebral palsy and autism. All three of Nick Carter’s accusers, former Dream singer Melissa Schuman, Ashley Repp, and Shay Ruth, all who have ongoing lawsuits against Carter, as well as former Pussycat Dolls singer Kaya Jones, who previously dated Carter in the early 2000’s and accused him of domestic violence in 2017 in a series of tweets, all appeared in the latest docuseries, ‘Fallen Idols’.

Upon the #MeToo movement in 2017, Melissa Schuman published a blog post in which she recounted how Nick raped her in 2003 when they filmed their TV movie, ‘The Hollow’, together. It all started when, even though she was 16 and had a boyfriend at the time, Dream’s management team pressured Schuman to take a phone call from Nick that made her uncomfortable. A devoted Christian who was a virgin before the night she was raped by Nick, planned to wait to have sex until her wedding night. When she refused his advances and told him why, he told her, ‘I could be your husband’, and forced her to have intercourse after also forcing her to have oral sex.

And for his part, following the publishing of the blog post, Nick released a statement saying his accuser ‘never expressed to me while we were together or at any time since that anything we did was not consensual … It is contrary to my nature and everything I hold dear to intentionally cause someone discomfort or harm.’ To this very day, Carter refuses to say otherwise. Schuman wanted to press charges against Carter, which, according to her, changed the course of her entire life, encouraged her not to press charges for it could damage her career.

Ashley Repp had a different story. She was a friend of Aaron’s twin sister, Angel, when they were teenagers. In 2003, when she was 15, Repp was invited to stay at the Carter family’s Florida Keys compound. With no parental and an unlimited amount of alcohol consumed, Repp opened up about repeatedly being raped by Nick, and what’s worse, he told his friend to watch them have intercourse through a boat skylight.

Shannon “Shay” Ruth, who has cerebral palsy and autism, had her own fate with Nick when she was 17 years old after a 2001 concert in Washington. According to Shay, Nick raped her on a Backstreet Boys tour bus. When Shay resisted his advances, Nick got angry – enraged would be the right word – and called her a retarded bitch. He also threatened that if she told anybody, she’d go to jail.

After Melissa Schuman posted her blog post in 2017, former Pussycat Dolls and Nick’s ex-girlfriend Kaya Jones posted a series of tweets where she defended Schuman:

‘Nick Carter was my boyfriend while I was in the Pussycat Dolls. He knew about the abuse I endured and did nothing. I guess I now know why. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Disgusted in my heart. Especially because he was a victim of abuse himself. Shame on you Nick!

How bad was it?people ask-bad enough that I walked away from my dreams,bandmates&a 13 million dollar record deal.We knew we were going to#1’

During her interview segment in the docuseries, Jones opened up about what she saw in Schuman. She said, ‘I saw a young woman try to speak and someone who thought he had more power and authority try to shut her up. He knows what I know. He knows why I left him. So do I believe that something horrific happened to that girl? Yes, yes I do.’

Following the filming of their TV movie, Schuman changed her number and vowed to never see him here again rapist ever again. Her plans didn’t go through, however, as she was forced by her management to work with him again on a duet, ‘There For Me.’ Schuman recalled, ‘My first thought was, ‘Do I have to be alone with him?’ and Kenneth (Crear) goes, ‘Oh, no, it’s already pre-recorded. You only have to go in and do your part.’’ Despite them not recording the song together, Schuman was forced to perform the song with Nick at an event. Thereafter, she was let go of her contract with the reason being that she was ‘vocally weak’. Of being let go, Schuman said, ‘When I look back at this song now, it feels almost premeditated where it was presented like it was going to actually help me. But in reality it feels more like an alibi for him.’

Aaron Carter’s reaction

Aaron was very outspoken when it comes to supporting his brother’s accusers. For one, he did an Instagram Live interview with Melissa Schumer. He even went on to date Ashley Repp at one point before calling it quits. She said of their relationship, ‘He knew about the incidents with Nick and he was always just really sweet. We did end up having a romantic relationship but ultimately we decided it was better if we were just good friends. Aaron could tell that something was wrong with me. Aaron was very kind to me. He didn’t have a great relationship with his brother at that time because what he said were other similar events with his brother and younger girls.’

Not only did Aaron support Nick’s accusers, but he also supported Paris Hilton. In 2019, after being served with papers of a restraining order against him, he tweeted, ‘I have never been accused of rape multiple times. I wasn’t accused of beating Paris Hilton. Who’s VIOLENT?’ In a follow-up tweet, he wrote, Listen. @ParisHilton knows what’s going on. Trust me. She doesn’t need to be dragged into anything. Cause my truth is my truth and I witnessed the abuse to Paris from my brother. I was there.’

Hilton never responded to Aaron’s tweets about her and the alleged abuse she endured at Nick’s hands. But what she said in her 2020 ‘This Is Paris’ documentary was enough for us to put two and two together. But even though her relationship with Nick was volatile, she had nothing but praise for Aaron. When he died, she tweeted that Aaron that he was always nice to her.

The support Aaron had for women came at a price. He had ‘fans’ send him drugs in the mail to his house knowing that those were drugs that he was addicted to. It was like they all wanted him to fail, and in the end it cost him his life. At one point, it was even reported that Nick and his wife were behind this scheme, as well as the harassment that Nick’s accusers endured following them opening up about the abuse they endured at the hands of Nick.

My thoughts on this matter…

Behind every abuser, there’s a history that explains their behaviour. I’m not making excuses for that behaviour. I’m trying to understand it. I’ve been trying to understand it since my own experiences with abuse. What I came to realize is that abuse isn’t about me, the abused, but rather the one that’s going the abusing. They’re the ones that are suffering and going through something that’s much deeper than them. Mental health is a disease that causes emotional damage. So I don’t fully put the blame on Nick Carter, nor my own abusers.

I absolutely believe that Nick Carter abused Paris Hilton and the rest of the women mentioned in this blog post. I absolutely believe that he ruined their lives thereafter as well just like he said he would. I absolutely believe that he’s lying to everyone around him saying he’s a good person. And I absolutely believe he’s living a double life by getting married and having children with her. And finally, I absolutely believe that, in one way or another, he’s responsible for his brother’s death.

He’s your poster child for an abuser. He’s a liar and a manipulator. And he’s done a pretty damn good job at it. His family, his friends, his co-workers, his wife and kids all believe he’s a good person. What they don’t know, however, is that there’s a demon inside of him. He even looks evil in his photos with Paris Hilton from 20 years ago.

I’m not surprised at all by it. Abusers do what they do because of power, which he absolutely has over women who are vulnerable. And even though Aaron initially supported Melissa Schuman, he recorded a podcast interview a week before his death where he publicly apologized to Nick for it and said he hoped to repair their relationship. He said, ‘Unfortunately, I tried to play God and stand up for alleged rape victim of Nick. And to my brother, I would like to apologize and say I love you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.’

The best thing an abuser can do is take accountability for what they’d done. That’s how you know they’ve done the work to heal and become the better versions of themselves. Nick Carter is yet to do so.