Lily Bloom: How Blake Lively And Colleen Hoover SHOULD’VE Promoted ‘It Ends With Us’ And Its Main Character

There’s been so much fuzz about Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni’s feud, as well as Blake Lively and Colleen Hoover’s tone-deaf promotional tour, that we almost forget to talk about the movie itself. Baldoni is the only person involved in the film that’s been shedding light on the subject matter that is domestic violence, but Blake Lively and her husband, Ryan Reynolds, are the bigger stars, and therefore, get more media attention.

To say that Blake Lively is getting hate for her marketing strategy for the film would be underwhelming. That’s all celebrity news outlets, YouTubers, and influencers could talk about this entire month. Fellow celebrities also had something today. Particularly, female celebrities who survived domestic violence had something to say about Lively.

First, there’s Jana Kramer, a singer and actress, who appeared on ‘one Tree Hill’ and numerous Hallmark movies throughout the years. In 2004 , she married Michael Gambino. They divorced a few short months later after Kramer suffered severe domestic abuse at the hands of Gambino that led him to be convicted with attempted murder charges in 2005. Lively has said in interviews that her character, Lily Bloom isn’t defined by domestic violence. Kramer, based on her own experience with domestic abuse, certainly had something to say about that on an episode of her podcast, ‘Whine Down’.

Kramer said, ‘I would love the messaging to go to DV with media, instead of talking about riffs and everything else. The movie is about domestic violence. I haven’t seen the movie. I have a tough time watching movies that deal with domestic violence given my history with it. Then I started hearing stuff about the interviews, and for me, I was just, like, it made me sad because I just want the messaging to be about domestic violence and how to help people and how to get help. It’s hard for people to talk about domestic violence when they haven’t, themselves, been, in real life, had the hands of domestic violence on them. So, for people to say it doesn’t define you, it does define you. … It has made me who I am. And though people can say, ‘It doesn’t define you,’ it is one of the biggest pieces of me, is domestic violence, and has been the biggest thread in my life.

Another celebrity that had something to say about Lively’s questionable ways of controlling the narrative of Lily Bloom is Alexa Nikolas. She’s a former Nickelodeon actress who starred on ‘Zoey 101 for two seasons and has since retired from her acting career. I also mentioned her in my blog post about Dan Schneider. Nikolas called ‘It Ends With Us’ a disaster and shame, and called Blake Lively out for using her ex-husband’s music in the film. Between 2012 and 2016, Nikolas was married to Mike Milosh. Nikolas accused Milosh of grooming her for a sexual relationship when she was 16 and he was 33. In 2021, Nikolas filed a lawsuit against her ex-husband on grounds of sexual battery, gender violence, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and a violation of California’s Tom Bane Civil Rights Act. It was dropped the following year.

Of her thoughts on Blake Lively and her movie, Nikolas wrote on Instagram, ‘I can’t say enough how disappointed I am in @blakelively and @itendswithusmovie — not only has your rollout of this film been a complete disaster and shame but you also put my known abuser/gr00mer’s music in your film. There is physical evidence of him grooming me when he was 33 and I was 16. It’s easily accessible on the internet sadly since I had to also take on the emotional labor of exposing RHYE with evidence. It was also a very public lawsuit that goes into great detail what he did to me. Shame on this film.’

The post wasn’t received well. One follower wrote, ‘Omg. It’s a movie. Watch it or don’t. Enough.’ Another fortified this sentiment by saying, ‘Why can’t people just relax?!? It’s a fictional movie!!” More fans chimed in with, “This has become the most ridiculous, unnecessary hate-fest. Let’s move on.’ More comments were flooded where users wrote things such as, ‘Exactly – I almost feel this is like some backlash against Blake because she is happy, successful, beautiful and her husband has the number one film of the year – so let’s pile on ..move on man it’s getting tired – zzz.’ Another user expressed their anger against these allegations, saying, ‘Sorry but @blakelively has NOTHING to do with the music choice of any film! She simply is a fantastic actress! So this conversation tabloid nonsense needs to stop ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Blake is epic!’

I can most certainly understand Nikolas’ frustration. This was someone who was supposed to be the love of her life; the person she loved and trusted the most. And yet, he manipulated her, he groomed her and abused her. But there are no consequences to his actions whatsoever. He’s still working and getting himself out there. He’s still getting opportunities and getting paid as normal. It’s sickening to know that someone who betrayed you to that extent is not facing any consequences whatsoever. The fact that Nikolas is now married to someone else and has two children doesn’t change the fact that her experience with DV has no effect on her. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Kramer’s DV experience was 20 years ago. She’s since gotten married twice and had 3 children, and yet she still gets triggered.

Let’s finally talk about Lily Bloom…

When a reporter asked Justin Baldoni what it was like to have his movie finally come out, he proudly said it wasn’t his movie; that it was all the Lily Blooms’ movie. He said that what he hopes is that if a Lily Bloom comes out of the movie theatre and chooses a different life for herself than what was chosen FOR her, then he’s done his job. And again, just like I mentioned in my previous post, it was mesmerizing for me to hear that coming out of a man’s mouth. It’s especially the case since the women, particularly Blake Lively and Colleen Hoover are so tone-deaf when it comes to speaking about what the movie is actually about.

It’s especially sad considering the fact that Colleen Hoover based the novel on her mother. She wrote the novel in order to understand her mother’s choices in not leaving her abusive father. In hindsight, Colleen Hoover IS the Lily Bloom of the story. But the book version and movie version of Lily Bloom are very different, and it’s not just the fact that movie Lily Bloom is more than a decade older than book Lily Bloom.

Book Lily Bloom isn’t oblivious to the abuse she experiences at the hands of Ryle. She’s a 23 year old college graduate, but has already gone through her own set of trauma that make her into the credible woman that she is as she witnessed her mother being abused by her father throughout her childhood. The first time Ryle hits Lily, he immediately apologizes. Lily accepts his apology, but tells him she’ll leave him if he does it again.

Lily and Ryle impulsively get married in Vegas. They have a stable marriage until Ryle finds a card with Atlas’ phone number written on it. Atlas is Lily’s first love. They bonded through trauma, but eventually forcefully broke up when Lily’s father walked in on them having sex and he beat Atlas up to the point that Atlas had to be hospitalized and then leave town. Lily sees Atlas again at his restaurant, and it was there that Atlas sees signs that Lily is a victim of domestic violence at the hands of Ryle. That’s why he gives her his number. When Ryle finds the card with the phone number, Ryle pushes Lily down the stairs.

But this wasn’t even the breaking point for Lily. The breaking point was when Ryle attempts to rape her after finding Lily’s old childhood dirties. He became so enraged because he thought she and Atlas were having an affair. As Ryle was attempting to rape her, Lily tried to defend herself. It was then that he knocked her unconscious. When she wakes up, she escapes the house and calls Atlas for help.

Atlas takes Lily to the hospital, and there she finds out that she’s pregnant with Rylie’s child. She decides to keep the baby, and is shown to be emotionally distant from Ryle. She does, however, allow him to be a part of her pregnancy during the last few months before the baby is born. She gives birth to a baby girl and decides to name her Emerson, in honour of Ryle’s late brother, who was killed when Ryle was 6 during to an accident involving him. Following the birth, when Ryle sees the baby for the first time, Lily asks for a divorce.

Just as I mentioned previously, book Lily Bloom is very much aware that Ryle is abusing her, and isn’t, at any time, oblivious to that matter. Movie Lily Bloom, however, is numb to the fact that Ryle abuses her. She’s witnessed so much abuse in her life as a child and adolescent, that she misses the warning signs in Ryle, and she was unable to see the situation for what it was when the abuse was happening. Each time, he told her that it was an accident, and she believed him.

The other major difference between book Lily Bloom and movie Lily Bloom is the aftermath of the end of her marriage with Ryle. In the book, she continues a co-parenting relationship with her abusive ex-husband, whereas in the movie, she has sole custody of Emerson and raises her with the support of her mother and her friends. Both versions are realistic. They both happen in real life. One is more dangerous than the other, though. In 2022, a reported 434,000 perpetrators abused or neglected a child. In substantiated child abuse cases, 76% of children were victimized by a parent or legal guardian. We also hear too many cases of abusers murdering their children. These abusers have a mindset of, ‘If I can’t have you, you can have the child(ren).’ Getting full custody of her daughter was the best thing Lily could’ve done for the sake of her family.

Many people who watched the movie said they felt that the movie made it seem like it was easy to leave an abuser. At first, I agreed. But then, I did an in-depth analysis of the ending of the movie, and my mind was blown at how wrong I was. To really understand it, I had to watch the scene where Lily tells Ryle she wants a divorce. It was right after she’d given birth. Ryle comes to her room and Lily allows him to hold their daughter. Ryle has a moment with their daughter. He’s smitten. We finally see a genuine love in his eyes. Lily watches Ryle and analyzes him as if she’s looking for the right moment to tell him she wants a divorce. And because she knows him so well at this point, and knows his triggers, she sees this as the perfect time to tell him.

Many viewers thought it seemed to be way too easy; that Ryle would never let her go that easily. The thing is, though, he COULD let her go that easily. Just like the rest of the viewers out there, my head was spinning when I watched that breakup science. All I could think was, ‘Is he going to hurt that baby?!???!’ I must’ve watched that scene 50 times, if not more, because it was just that intense. The more times I watched that scene, the more I realized that that breakup scene made perfect sense.

Lily made the decision to tell him she wanted a divorce at the hospital, a public place. If anything WERE to happen, she was one button away before help came to save her. As he held his newborn daughter, Ryle told her softly, ‘Daddy’s got you. Daddy will keep you safe.’ And as she watched Ryle bond with their newborn daughter, she analyzed him and looked for ‘the perfect moment’ to tell him. It was her way out. As she tells him why she wants to end their marriage, Ryle does show some remorse; like he finally realizes just how much he hurt her. But if you pay attention, he’s wearing a doctor’s uniform. He works as a neurosurgeon at the hospital. If anyone witnesses, or if there is any sort of record of him being abusive, he loses his job. Of course he wouldn’t risk losing everything he had; even if it meant losing his family.

And movie Lily’s decision to obtain full custody makes perfect sense. She had all the proof she needed that there was spousal abuse in her marriage with Ryle. She was at the hospital following his rape attempt. It’s all on record. If he didn’t do whatever she wanted in their divorce, she could destroy anything he ever worked for. She had something against him, and he knew it.

The woman behind Lily Bloom…

As we discussed in the previous two posts. Blake Lively, the woman behind movie Lily Bloom, has been getting a lot of backlash this entire month for the insensitive way she’s been promoting the movie. Most recently, her brother-in-law, Bart Johnson, who’s an acting coach and appeared in ‘High School Musical’ came to her defence when one commentator wrote, ‘Shame she’s so set on promoting happiness in a domestic violence setting without any regard for any victims. Disappointing from Blake but also disappointing that daddy Bolton supports it.’ In response, Johnson wrote, ‘Ellen I’m really sorry you feel that way. I’m sure you have a huge heart and want the best. I can promise you the truth has not come out yet. Blake worked harder on this film than anything I’ve seen her do my entire life. Because it meant so much to her. The message is in the book. And in the movie. Not in short clips / interviews. She is the reason the message / this movie/ is getting out. Were mistakes made? Yes. I make mistakes in life. But they aren’t under a microscope. Anyway, I respect your views. I got nothing but love for you. ❤️’

Throughout these past few weeks, there have been reports of a feud between the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. The entire cast has unfollowed Baldoni on Instagram, and they’d not once even acknowledged Baldoni during their press tour; not as a co-star, nor as a director. It was Baldoni’s movie. The movie wouldn’t have even gotten a green-light without him. He was the one who hired Lively as Lily, and she made it her own movie. Crew members who worked closely with both Baldoni and Lively did admit in an interview that the two clashed over creative differences.

There’s word that what we saw in theatres is Lively’s version of the movie that was approved by Sony even though Baldoni’s version was received much better by the audience. Lively and her husband, Ryan Reynolds used the writer’s strike to their advantage by getting closer to Colleen Hoover so that Lively could get her way. And Sony’s take on the matter is that they wanted to get a woman’s perspective on gender-based abuse.

Here’s my take…

I’m actually so curious to see Baldoni’s version of the film. For me, personally, being an advocate and an ally for such a cause isn’t about gender. Just because someone’s a woman doesn’t make her knowledgeable to take the lead on a project that takes responsibility to showcase such a cause. You don’t have to have gone through such trauma to be self-aware or educate yourself enough on it. Lively just wasn’t it for me, and she showed that in her ways of promoting the movie. She cares more about the money side and the business side of things rather than the actual cause and the message of the film.

The movie itself was good, and Lively’s version did make sense, at least to me. As weird as it sounds, it did make sense. Thats with the exception of Lily’s wardrobe. Her wearing designer clothes in one scene and then wearing clothes that made her look homeless in the next scene was just odd. Lively took her role as a producer a little too seriously, and she certainly used her connections to her advantage. No one’s denying her talent. I just wish she presented herself better during her promotional tour for the movie. I wish she had a little more care. I wish she used her platform for the greater good. She could do that while still promoting her business. As a survivor myself, I feel Lively took her promotional tour as a complete joke. And because Baldoni’s version wasn’t approved despite it being received better amongst audiences, I really want the director’s cut to be released. I want to see the man’s perspective in the story.

Lily Bloom is a wonderful character. She has grace. She never deserved the path that she walked upon. That path was chosen for her by two men who had power over her. In the end, she found herself. She found a path to walk through by her own deliberations. She finally understood her mother’s choices. But she also didn’t want to end up like her mother. She broke the pattern – for herself and for her daughter. If ‘It Ends With Us’ is a romance movie, then it’s not the romance between Lily and Ryle, and not even between Lily and Atlas. But rather, it’s between Lily and herself. It’s about Lily’s relationship with herself. It’s about Lily’s journey to self love, self awareness, and acceptance. It’s about her path to finally choosing herself first. And that’s exactly how Blake Lively and Colleen Hoover should’ve promoted the movie.