While writing my blog entries relating to Kristin Cavallari, her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Mark Estes to be exact, I did my research by watching (too many) YouTube videos on her, her company Uncommon James, her broken marriage to Jay Cutler, as well as her relationship and breakup with Estes. Part of my research included watching the very, very long rant video Shallon Lester did on them back when Kristin and Estes broke up in September and the story was trending at the time.
Lester is a well-known YouTuber. She’s known for very long unedited, unfiltered vlogs where she speaks of trending celebrity news and relating them to her own life. It’s similar to exactly what I do on this blog, but in talking form. She then gives her advice on what to do for others in same situations. She’s an unauthorized coach, if you will. I initially stumbled upon her YouTube channel during Covid months, and treated religiously listening to her. I was always looking forward to her videos. She was like a friend to me, but she didn’t even know it. She was fun and bubbly – exactly what I needed at the time. Lester’s current net worth is $1.5 million . Before she was a YouTube personality, she was the editor of Star Magazine, and she never shies away from talking about it or even mentioning it in her videos. She also appeared on the ‘Wendy Williams Show’ and the ‘Daily Mail’, which are literally the most unreliable and uncredible journalism tactics. Nevertheless, she’s become a self-made psychologist, a title that she probably gave herself. In reality, though, she’s just a YouTuber who capitalizes on celebrity gossip, and she mostly uses her work at Star Magazine as her credibility tool, as if we’re really supposed to believe that she really knows her sh*t on what all these celebrities are really like as people and what goes on in their real lives.
But Shallon has no credibility to even make such videos. She doesn’t even have a psychology degree to make these videos. In contrast, Steph Anya, a YouTuber who analyzes the ‘Love Is Blind’ couples all throughout the 7 seasons that have aired since 2020, is a certified psychologist. I actually based my blog entry on Johnnie and Chris on her video. Steph Anaya knows her sh*t on topics like mental health and anything relating to it, whereas Shallon has no f*cking clue. And yet, she has no issue talking about it and manipulating her audience into believing anything she says. The best way I could describe Shallon now, 4 years after I initially religiously watched her videos, is ugly. I don’t mean ugly as in her face is ugly. On the contrary, I mean that she’s ugly on the inside. That’s something that D’angelo Wallace said in his video when he initially broke his silence on Shallon’s very problematic behaviour and personal 4 years ago. She’s now deemed to be a liar, a manipulator, a bully, and even a pedophile. It’s a strong statement to call someone – anyone – a pedophile , especially without any sort of proof. But there is. There is proof that she’s a pedophile. There’s online proof of the matter. In 2010, when Justin Beiber was just 16 years old, Lester tweeted multiple times about having sex dreams about the singer. She was already a 30+ year old adult woman by that point. And speaking of age, Lester lied about her age. We now know that she was born in 1981, making her 43 years old at the time of publishing this blog post. When she was 39, she claimed to be 35.
I can’t really think of a reason why Shallon would lie about her age other than to seem younger and be more appealing to her audience. She has a very bubbly personality. She’s immature for her age, with a personality that would probably match a 22 year old. That means she has the personality of someone that’s half her age. It’s weird, but it’s also understandable with all things considered. I want to go back to the video I mentioned at the very beginning of this blog entry; the one I watched to do research on Kristin Cavallari’s former relationship with Mark Estes. Though I really don’t even know why I wasted 40 minutes of my time watching it. I already knew it wouldn’t be credible, and it’s because I already knew Shallon herself isn’t a credible person to begin with. I didn’t end up using anything she said in the video for my blog entries on Kristin Cavallari, nor on Shannon Ford, her former employee at Uncommon James. For reference, I’m talking about my two previous posts. But I am, in fact, using Shallon’s video on Kristin Cavallari and Mark Estes’ former relationship as an inspiration to write this specific blog post. And no, I’m not going to continue writing about Kristin Cavallari, nor am I going to discuss her relationship with her much younger ex, though I keep mentioning them a lot here. Instead, I want to focus on Shallon herself.
In the most recent video I watched, Shallon spoke heavily about she is the way she is – immature. Her father passed away when she was in her early 20’s, and she’s been stuck in the age that she experienced the trauma of her father’s death. She said so herself. And it’s not like she stopped getting older physically. The ageing process never stops no matter how much anyone tries to slow it down. But she’s been emotionally stuck at the age that her father died. This is called arrested psychological development. It’s a mental illness in itself. One cause for a person to experience arrested psychological development is the loss of a parent; commonly, as a child. I can understand it. I relate to it.
I had two major life-changing events happen in my life. The first was when I was raped by someone I thought was a friend when I was 18, and the second was when I was diagnosed with epilepsy following me surviving a car accident the year prior. And now, I can’t decide whether I’m that 18 year old girl or the 20-something year old gal. Sometimes I feel 18. Other times I feel older. But never do I feel my age. At times, I even forget I’m actually a 30-something year old woman. I have friends who are almost 10 years older than me, and I forget that I’m that much older than them. They, too, seem to forget that from time to time. Mostly, I think, it’s because we’re on the same level emotionally, and maybe even intellectually. For so many years, I was having uncontrollable seizures. I was busy trying my best not to die. It was also a time where I was still coping with my trauma caused by sexual assault. Me being diagnosed with epilepsy and then having had to survive 50 seizures a day everyday escalated that trauma. I lost control of everything. And because of that endless trauma, I wasn’t growing as a person. I was stuck at the age where my trauma began.
I’m much better now. No, I’m not healed by any means, and I’m certainly not pretending to be healed. But I’m much better now than I was so many years ago. That time in my life seems like an eternity ago, and yet so very recent. The same couldn’t be said about Shallon. As I listened to her rant about Kristin Cavallari’s relationship with Mark Estes, I couldn’t believe that she was someone who was making a fortune by lying, cheating, and scamming her audience. I also couldn’t believe I was one of those people who’d been victimized by her and saw her as ‘my friend’. I guess it goes to show how mentally unstable I was back then. That’s who she targets; those that are mentally unstable. She wants them to believe that she’s there to support them and guide them through life when, in reality, she just messes them up even more and takes a sh*t amount of $$$ out of them. What they actually need is professional help. Instead, they’re paying Shallon.
In the video about Kristin Cavallari and Mark Estes’ relationship and breakup, Shallon spoke about herself and how she dates men that are much younger than her; like, half her age younger than her. She has no issue dating men who are in their early 20’s In fact, she prefers it that way. It’s very rare that she finds men her age attractive, and there’s a reason for it, and that is that younger men are so much easier to manipulate. If I weren’t with my husband, I’d definitely be open to dating a younger man. But not because I’d want to manipulate them or control them. I’d want to date a younger man because he’d be on my level emotionally and mentally, and he’d have a lot to offer; sexually included. And there it was – the real answer to who Shallon is as a person. She’s someone who wants to be in control. But there’s also a reverse psychology that might have something to do with it. There might be a bigger issue underlined that Shallon is going through that she herself might not even know of, or doesn’t want to know of. She might have a low self-esteem and she’s not as strong as she wants you to believe. She might not be as confident as she might seem. She might have a fear of being controlled, and therefore wants to take the power all to herself. She might be going through depression & anxiety. She might be a damaged good.
Understanding mental health isn’t easy. No one’s ever said it would be. It’s just about the same as understanding the brain. The brain is very complex, and we still can’t say that any doctor understands how the brain works. Shallon is most certainly not someone that understands mental health, though she talks about it constantly. Celebrities like Pete Davidson and Selena Gomez are very open about their struggles with mental health. Davidson’s father was a firefighter who passed away on 9/11. He was since diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Gomez has struggled with multiple illnesses throughout her life, including lupus and bipolar disorder. In 2017, her friend, actress Francia Raisa, donated her kidney to save Gomez’s life. During Billboard’s Women In Music event in December 2017, Gomez dedicated her Woman Of The Year award to Raisa. The two of since had a falling out, and hadn’t been friends since shortly after the major surgery.
Again, both Davidson and Gomez have been very open with their fans on mental health. Earlier this year, he canceled all his work commitments and checked himself into a wellness facility, seeking mental health treatment. He’s since been seen with Machine Gun Kelly, his close friend looking healthier than ever, and with a lot less tattoos. It wasn’t the first time he checked himself into treatment, though. He’s actually been in and out of treatment facilities since he was 9 years old.
Davidson’s quotes on mental health include:
‘I’m always depressed, all the time. I have to constantly bring myself out of it. I wake depressed, but now I know my steps. I have to go outside and be in the sun for a little bit or go for a walk. It’s all just programming yourself to trick your brain. My rock bottom is when people are scared for my life and I have to go away, and then I have to bring myself back up again. I think I’ve hit it a few times. As long as you’re around good, supportive people, and if you’re strong enough, you’ll be able to get out of it.’
‘I got diagnosed with BPD a few years ago, and I was always just so confused all the time, and just thought something was wrong, and didn’t know how to deal with it. Then, when somebody finally tells you, the weight of the world feels lifted off your shoulders. You feel so much better.’
‘Everybody is different, and there are a lot of treatments for mental illnesses and I have done/am doing all of them. And I encourage those who struggle to seek help as well; it has changed my life for the better. I just think it’s f**ked up to stigmatize people as crazy and say that they are unable to do stuff that anyone can do. It’s not their fault, and it’s the wrong way for people to look at things.’
Gomez’s quotes on mental health include:
‘DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) has completely changed my life. I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.’
‘If you’re around people who think that [tending to one’s mental health] is dumb, that think it’s ridiculous—’You’re crazy! You’re fine!’—but you don’t feel that way, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate that. It’s a lonely journey to really figure out where all this stuff is coming from. And to detach from it. It becomes an addiction, it becomes a habit, retraining your mind to not go to these negative places when you say something wrong, do something wrong, when you wear a certain thing or represent a certain culture. But it is lonely, I had to lose a lot of people in my life to get there.’
‘Balance the power of saying no and self-care. I have to take care of myself and not feel guilty about it. I will say no when I need to say no, and I will make sure that I will not overdo everything because I feel like, if I don’t accept everything that’s happening, then maybe it seems like I’m ungrateful, or I’m not doing enough. I just have to take care of myself. Therapy, faith, hard work, kindness. That’s it.’
Just recently, Gomez revealed that due to her illnesses, she wasn’t able to bear children, and, as a woman, it was something she had to grieve. Celebrities like Flavor Flav and Miranda Hart praised Gomez for being so open about her health struggles. The same couldn’t be said about Shallon. She had absolutely nothing nice to say about either Davidson or Gomez. Instead, she mocked them. To add to that, nothing she said was even remotely factual about mental health, particularly on bipolar disorder. For instance, she mocked Davidson when he said in an interview that he goes to his psychiatrist on a regular basis to change his medication to manage his bipolar disorder. Factually, bipolar disorder patients need to change their medication on a regular basis to better manage their mental health, and she know that had she done her research.
In her video on Selena Gomez, Shallon said that she felt Gomez used her bipolar disorder as an excuse for her behaviour. And yet, she herself used her own mental health struggles and her being involved in an abusive relationship at the time for her own behaviour when she was called out for it in D’angello Wallace’s 2020 video that initially demolished Lester’s reputation. In the same statement, she said that she wasn’t the same person that she was a decade ago, in 2010. After watching the recent video on Kristin Cavallari and Mark Estes’ breakup, though, I could tell that absolutely nothing changed since her 2010 days.
As of publishing this blog entry, Lester’s Instagram bio says ‘Barbie Meets Dr. Phil.’ Dr. Phil is a problematic public personality in itself, but at least he has his medical certifications to back up his profession. Shannon, on the other hand, doesn’t. She’s someone who makes fun of schizophrenia and the people who suffer from it, and says, ‘the mentally ill think they’re cool.’ But what makes her think that she’s not mentally ill herself? There’s a saying that goes, ‘hurt people hurt people.’ I sure do believe it. I experienced it myself for years. My husband had a close friend who did this to me. He made fun of me endlessly. He’d find every excuse in the book to make fun of me and laugh at my expense. He’d laugh at my ambition to become an influencer. He’d laugh at my marriage to my husband. He’d laugh at my health and call seizures as ‘twitching’. He’d even laugh at my previous abusive relationships and at me being hit in public by an ex. He’d embarrass me in public to the point of tears, and he’d f*cking love it. Each time, he’d say he’s sorry, but each time he’d continue that abusive behaviour over and over again; to the point where I had a mental breakdown that finally led to the end of the friendship.
And the reason why I mention this particular friend is for the fact that he reminds me so much of Shallon. He was troubled. He was someone that went through his own fair of mental health struggles. He was someone that never dealt with his mental health struggles. He was insecure, and he took his insecurities out on me. He was making me feel small because he himself felt small, and he wanted to make someone feel as bad as he did. I was his perfect target. In a way, he succeeded. At the same time, though, he didn’t. I’m still here doing whatever the f*ck I want to do. I hadn’t seen him in years, and I told myself I’d never, ever talk to him again in my life. But something changed. He’d gone through something extremely traumatic since the end of our friendship. His son died. Though I contemplated on whether I should do this or not, I messaged him sending my condolences and wishing him well. It wasn’t that I forgot of the pain that he caused me. Instead, it was that I’d never wish what happened to him to happen to my worst enemy. With that said, me messaging him wasn’t about me forgetting the pain I’d endured at his hands – or at his mouth, mor like. It was that I found it in my heart to forgive all that and put any hate I had towards him for that moment to send a message his way. I also donated money his GoFundMe page that was created in his name so he could take time off to grieve. I didn’t necessarily do this for him, but rather for his son.
This former friend of my husband’s, if you could even call him that since true friends wouldn’t treat others like garbage the way he did me, resembles Shallon in so many ways. He treated mental illness as a joke and as though it was fake and wasn’t of any existence just like Shallon did. He treated me the same exact way Shallon talked about the celebrities she talked about and made fun of in her videos. Except that him treating me the way that he did didn’t hurt his career in any sort of way. Maybe it affected his personal life and his friendship, but his career is still thriving as a business owner. He’s not known to the public. Therefore, his career doesn’t depend on the public’s perception of him. In contrast, Shallon’s career does. Shallon’s career is all about the public’s perception of her. Without it, she has no career in the first place. With that said, despite the 2020 drama that could’ve destroyed her entire career, she’s still thriving and still making the big $$$. So it begs the question: How can someone still be successful despite their troubling, baffling, controversial, and gruesome behaviour when they’re known to to be a bully, a manipulator, a liar, a scammer, and even pedophile?
The best answer I could come up with is that there are still people out there who are f*cked up enough to look up to Shallon and see her as their mentor. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not bashing anyone who’s f*cked up enough to do that. I’d been in that situation myself. And I probably would’ve been just as f*cked up to look up to Shallon if it wasn’t for the love and support of my family. Mental health is a very complex topic. Trying to understand it is just the same as trying to understand the brain and explaining to a regular person how it works. The reality is, however, that no one, to this day, understands how the brain works. Even doctors don’t know how the brain works, though they certainly pretend that they do.
The fact of the matter is, medical professionals don’t know sh*t. Medical professionals don’t care for their patients’ well-being. Instead, they care for their own damn themselves and always look for ways to make $$$ out of their patients. The more the merrier. Struggling with a mental illness is the hardest thing anyone could ever go through. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and in a way, I’ve been very fortunate that I come from a family that has a history with mental health struggles and can therefore be of help, support, and guidance because they ‘get it.’ I don’t know if I would’ve survived if I didn’t have that in my life. I personally know of numerous cases that didn’t survive that sh*t. I wrote about some of them in my previous blog entries; like about my former friend who ended up going through postpartum psychosis and murdered her child.
The medical system is a failure. It failed my former friend, and it’s failed me as well. I’d been trying to get professional help to treat my depression and anxiety. I’d been trying to get a psychiatrist to treat me, but to no-freaking-avail. One psychiatrist declined me because I’m not in the age range of the patients they treat. Another psychiatrist declined me because they weren’t taking new patients. And a third psychiatrist declined me because I didn’t live in the area of where their medical office was located and didn’t have time for me. And it wasn’t the first time I heard a medical professional say they didn’t have time for me. My neurologist said the exact same thing to me when I asked for an early appointment after I suffered a grand-mal seizure at 30+ weeks of pregnancy.
With that said, the medical system doesn’t care whether you’re alive or dead. In fact, they prefer that you die because that’s how they make the most money. It’s a dangerous game, and so is Shallon’s. Mental health has only been heavily talked about since the 2020 pandemic. In the years since, more and more people out there have spoken openly about their struggles and became advocates for the cause. Beforehand, society was made to believe that we were supposed to be ashamed of it. We were made to believe that it doesn’t exist and that it’s all just fun and games. Of course, there are still people out there who have that same mentality, and Shallon Lester is one of them. The one major difference is that she makes big $$$ out of it. She’s made an entire career out of it.
There are people out there in the world who can’t afford to get professional help. There are people out there in the world who can’t get a single appointment with a medical professional fast enough. There are people out there who don’t have the support of their family and friends. These are the people who come to Shallon Lester. These are the people pay Shallon Lester and make her rich and famous. To say that it’s a tragedy is an understatement. But that’s the reality of it. And so, Instead of coming to Shallon Lester, one should try the following things to treat their mental illness the following ways:
- Consider joining a support group.
- Try relaxation techniques, meditation, and breathing exercises.
- Regular exercise
- Intaking natural supplements, such as vitamin D,
- Daily outdoor walks; spend time in nature
- Make sure you’re constantly moving and doing the ‘little things’ – clean the house, take out the trash, clean the dishes
- Keep a journal
- Listen to music
- Improve your eating habits
- Consider limiting access to drugs and alcohol
- Improve your sleeping habits
- Write down your long-term and short-term goals on a regular basis
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