Tara Maclay: How She Became The Most Vital Character On ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer – And How Bringing In Kennedy Following Her Death Made Perfect Sense

‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ was my first experience getting to see the life event that is death and grieving the death of a loved one. It was also my first experience getting to watch a Queer storyline unfold. Getting to see that storyline was how I knew that I liked girls just as much as I liked boys. I’m talking about Willow and Tara, the couple that wasn’t even supposed to happen. Tara was included in AfterEllen.com‘s Top 50 Lesbian and Bisexual Characters, ranking at No. 15.

The character of Tara was initially introduced as Willow’s friend that she met following her boyfriend’s departure, and that’s as far as the character arc was supposed to go. However, there there was so much chemistry between Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson, the actors behind Willow and Tara, that Joss Whedon, the creator and mastermind of the show, decided to go in the direction that he did. Tara met with some resistance from fans, but over time became one of the most beloved characters. So much so that when Tara was killed off at the end of season 6, writers and producers received angry protests from some fans when Tara was killed. Whedon upheld that it was the necessary course to take to propel Willow’s story arc. But to understand the depth of Willow and Tara, one must start telling their story from the very beginning

Willow wasn’t always a lesbian. At least that’s not how she was portrayed at the very beginning when she was first introduced. She was just a nerdy teenager. She became Buffy’s sidekick, confidant, and close friend. Without her, Buffy would’ve probably been lost. The same was true for Willow as she was her own only female friend. Her other friend was Xander, but she was in love with him. He, in turn, didn’t even notice her other than for being his best friend, and instead only had eyes for Cordelia, the polar opposite of Willow.

By season 2, Willow meets Oz. When Oz first laid eyes on Willow from a distance, he became mesmerized. She didn’t take notice, but when she did, she couldn’t believe that someone who was as cool as Oz, who played in a band, was interested in her in the first place. The fact that he turned into a werewolf on a night with a full moon couldn’t even tear them apart once they officially became a couple. Somehow, Willow and Oz became the most stable, the most loving, and the most nurturing couple during that time frame.

It all came crashing down, however, when Willow cheated on Oz with Xander. At the time, Xander was in a relationship with Cordelia. Oz and Cordelia found their significant others kissing in bed when they were effortlessly tried to save them. Cordelia and Xander broke up for good thereafter. Oz, on the other hand, after much hesitation and stalking on Willow’s part, gave Willow another chance following the betrayal. They got back together, and by the end of the school year and high school graduation, consummated their relationship.

The start of their first year in college seemed bright. Willow became much more confident in herself and in her relationship with Oz, and Oz couldn’t be more in love with Willow. Their happiness was overshadowed by Veruca soon after. She took a liking to OZ, and didn’t give the slightest bit of a damn that he was already in a committed relationship. She had to have him. Oz was infatuated by Veruca right from the start, just like he was when he first met Willow two years prior. He tried his best to resist his feelings, but eventually caved to Veruca’s desires, and as they were about to have passionate sex, both turned into werewolves.

Willow was ready to forgive Oz for his wrongdoings, but as she came to his apartment, he was getting ready to leave Sunnyvale…for good. She begged him not to, but he was adamant that he needed to leave to figure out the wolf inside of him. Willow tearfully asks, Oz, don’t you love me?’ He says, My whole life, I never loved anything else.’ That marked the first time they ever said this to one another, even though they’d been together for more than two years by that point. It was wholesome and heartbreaking at the same time. Oz obviously had a difficult time expressing his feelings, and with the fact that he never said to her that he loved her just showed the depth of his love for her, and that it really was the werewolf that was taking over him when he slept with Veruca.

Oz was written out of the show because Seth Green, who played Oz, wanted to leave the series to concentrate more on his career in film. Though we were all sad to see Oz go, it ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to Willow in the entire series. She just didn’t know it at the time. That was when Tara became a part of her life and her life was changed forever. They met at a witches support group that Buffy had encouraged Willow to attend following her breakup with Oz. Willow was really struggling with Oz’s departure, so Buffy thought it might do her good. Tara is first introduced as a shy, sensitive young woman who is almost afraid to speak up. But she changes over time with the help of Willow, and later her friends as well, and becomes more confident within herself.

Magic became Willow’s tether ever since she began enriching her skills as a witch. It became a part of who she was, and she felt the most needed and most loved by her friends, but especially by Buffy, when she used her magic to help in missions. Magic represented who Willow became. Before Tara came along, when she was still with Oz, Willow’s magical powers were solo endeavours. Once she started using her power with Tara, magic became creative and collaborative. It became a metaphorical emphasis on their love and sexual tension. This was a tactic that Joss Whedon used to bring the relationship to life as, at the time, there were only so many things they could do and show when it comes to same-sex relationships. At the time, Ellen DeGeneres came out on her sitcom. Hence, it was a great risk to even imply of lesbianism on network TV.

Throughout their time together, Tara made Willow feel special. She made her feel wanted, needed, but most importantly, Tara made loved and seen. This was something she lacked before, even in her relationship with Oz. As much as Oz loved Willow, he never truly got her; not as much as Tara did. Willow finally realized just how strong her feelings were for Tara when Oz came back to Sunnydale with the intention of getting back together with her. Oz saw right through Tara, and realized that Willow was in love with her. That was when the wolf inside of him came back. He thought he had the wolf under control, which was why he felt ready enough to come back for her, but then realized it was actually her that was making the werewolf come alive.

After much confusion, Willow eventually chose Tara over Oz. She officially broke things off with Oz and said her final goodbye to him, something she wasn’t able to do when he initially left. Willow then comes to Tara’s place, and the two consummate their relationship. What I loved about that specific scene was that Tara didn’t just assume that Willow was going to choose her. She still wanted Willow to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her. She wasn’t in a competition with Oz for Willow’s love, but genuinely just wanted happiness for Willow. And she was very happy and relieved when Willow told her that she was the one that she loved, not Oz.

What I also loved was Willow’s friends accepting that she was ‘suddenly’ gay. The reason why I used quotation marks around ‘suddenly’ is that in my view, Willow was always gay. She just didn’t know it. The end of her relationship with Oz marked the beginning of her coming out journey. Willow came out to Buffy, she was terrified that Buffy would be freaked and therefore she’d lose her as a friend. On the contrary, Buffy, though shocked at first, was very understanding of the new revelation, and supported Willow and her relationship with Tara. The rest of the friend group did the same, and they all accepted Tara as her own person, not just as Willow’s girlfriend.

Tara became essential to Willow’s friend group. She became the glue that held everyone together. This was most evident when Buffy’s mother died as she comforted Willow and had a heart-to-heart with Buffy at the hospital, telling her that her mother died when she was young as well, and hence she knew how Buffy felt and reassured her that she’d always be there for her when needed be. This held to be true as Tara and Buffy developed their own friendship outside of Willow’s presence. It was Tara who comforted Buffy when she was feeling torn and confused of her feelings for Spike. Tara was the only one that Buffy felt wasn’t judgemental of Spike’s new role in her life, and felt like she could fully open up to her. Buffy even breaks down in tears in front of Tara and looks to her for comfort. Buffy and her friends showed how much they cared for Tara the entire Scooby Gang, including Spike, made it clear that she was unquestionably a part of them. The episode introduced some of Tara’s blood family: a cold, authoritarian father who had lied to her all her life by telling her that her magical powers are a result of her being part-demon on her mother’s side; an overbearing brother; and a judgmental, repressed and repressive cousin; all of whom Tara dismissed at the end of the episode. Beforehand, she thought of herself as useless to the group and only seen as Willow’s partner. The moment the entire Scooby Gang defended her against her estranged family was the moment she truly felt that she belonged.

Willow and Tara had a very loving relationship, even more so when they could finally openly be in one. Willow showed her dedication to Tara when she wouldn’t give up on her after Glory’s, season 5’s main villain, torture of Tara. Willow’s character grew more self-assured and powerful through this particular season, and therefore, Tara took over some of the role of being placed in a role of needing to be rescued. Throughout the seasons, Willow established herself as a witch and used her magic as her power. It gave her a sense of control. The most significant time where Willow’s magical powers came through was in her fight against Glory. That was when her friends wouldn’t have survived the battle had it not been for her. Season 6 saw Willow explore her sense of power.

In the battle against Glory, Buffy sacrificed herself in order to save the world. She died, and her friends were shattered to the core. They couldn’t handle not being with their leader, so they had Willow bring her back to life…literally. Everyone’s was ecstatic to have Buffy back, but not Buffy herself. Buffy felt lost. She felt like she didn’t belong anywhere in the world. She felt she was better off dead. With newfound revelation, Buffy’s friends sat down for a meeting where they discussed what they’d done and contemplated whether or not they did they right thing by bringing Buffy back to life. Xander said he didn’t regret the decision as he was just happy she was back, whereas Willow felt guilty for what was essentially decided for Buffy without her consent. She suggested using magic to make Buffy forget that she was ever in heaven, where she felt she belonged. And that was when Tara stepped in and officially put her foot down.

Tara broke up with Willow after Willow used magic to make her forget of a fight that they had, and the two remained separated while Willow worked through her magic addiction. Tara told her she wouldn’t be with her unless she worked through it. Hence, Willow’s recovery became a priority. The two eventually would be seen getting back together, but their happiness was short lived. Tara died after accidentally being shot by Warren, who in actuality was aiming at Buffy and Xander. It was right at the moment of realization that her one true love was really dead that Willow was taken over by a dark alter ego, going on a rampage, torturing Warren and skinning him alive. She then attempted to murder the other two members of the Trio, but is unsuccessful. To end her pain, she attempted to end the world. Before she could, Xander showed up just in time to stop her, her by forcing her to deal with her grief in a healthy, non-violent way, as well as showing her his unconditional love.

Joss Whedon saw Tara’s death as a necessity for Willow’s character arc. She had to deal with her dark powers, but nothing short of Tara’s death would allow them to come out so forcefully. Tara had become popular amongst the show’s face, and therefore, Whedon, as well as series writer David Fury, decided that her death would elicit a strong response, something that Whedon felt sure was the correct course to take. Fans of the show were devastated, and Whedon wasn’t prepared for the hate that would come in the aftermath of Tara’s character demise. Some went as far as watching the show altogether. Because the death came at the end of an episode where Willow and Tara were portrayed in bed between sexual encounters, critics accused Whedon of implying that lesbian sex should be punishable by death, a familiar trope in film. Producers were inundated with mail from people, women in particular, who expressed their anger, sadness, and frustration with the writing team. It was a clear indication that it was a a natural indication that television simply had few strong female role models and no lesbian representation.

Amber Benson certainly had something to say about the censorship that surrounded with working on the WB. She said in an interview, ‘There was a big kerfuffle—they didn’t want us kissing on the show, and Alyson and I were both like, “Hey, this is bull[shit]. We should be able to kiss.” And it was only after one of the crew members, who was gay, took us aside and said, “Hey, just the fact that the characters are having this positive relationship and they’re being portrayed as normal human beings—who just happen to be two women in love—that what’s important, not the physical stuff.” So, it was really just about saying hey we are two people and we are in this relationship and we are functioning like normal people. Just having a normal relationship, I think, that’s the biggest thing that we did.’ And of her character’s impact, Benson said, ‘I thought I was on some science fiction show. I had no clue I was going to have some sort of impact on a whole group of people… Alyson and I would get letters, and you don’t realize the impact you’re making until you really start thinking about it. When kids come up and say, “I didn’t kill myself because of Buffy and your relationship,” it blows your mind. It wasn’t about two women making out. It was about two women who fell in love with each other and happened, just happened, to have the same genitalia.’

It wasn’t until the show moved from The WB to UPN in 2001 that Tara and Willow were seen engaging in sexual situations on screen. As a viewer, as a young viewer especially, I didn’t care that I didn’t see them engage in sexual activities. It was already obvious that they did off-screen. There were enough implications that they were more than just best friends. There were enough implications to tell me that their relationship dynamic was different than that of Willow and Buffy. I can understand the frustration in not being able to see them openly kiss or even be in bed together like other couples did on the show for so long. I’d assume that it made those who were in LGBTQ relationships at the time feel less than; like they weren’t represented enough; like they were supposed to be ashamed of showing the world that they were in relationships with people of the same sex as them; like they were supposed to be ashamed of it; like they couldn’t and weren’t allowed to do what heterosexual couples did. Nevertheless, Willow and Tara were a groundbreaking representation of same-sex relationships. They were one of the first long-term, positive lesbian relationships on mainstream television. They provided significant visibility and representation for LGBTQ+ characters, particularly at a time when such portrayals were rare and often stereotypical. storyline allowed viewers to see a complex, loving relationship between two women, which was a major step forward for on-screen representation. Key factors in their groundbreaking representation include:

• Positive portrayal: Unlike many previous depictions of lesbian characters, Tara and Willow’s relationship was shown as healthy, supportive, and important to their individual lives. 
• Coming out narrative: Willow’s journey of discovering her sexuality through her relationship with Tara was portrayed with sensitivity and resonated with many viewers. 
• Impact on LGBTQ+ youth: Their representation was seen as validating and empowering for young people who were coming to terms with their own sexuality

Seeing Willow and Tara’s relationship unfold on television represented a lot more than the relationship itself, at least in my own view. It highlighted the importance of friendships and finding the core group of friends in your life that will accept you for who you are, not for what you are, and will never judge for such a thing as who you choose to love. That was always something I’d struggled with in my own life. Time and time again, I had friends that felt the need to try to save me or change me due to my cerebral palsy and epilepsy. They always seemed to have wanted to fix my disabilities and make me ‘normal’. It made me afraid to open up or share any details of my queerness. It made me feel ashamed of my queerness. It made me feel like there was an entire side of me that I needed to hide. But seeing Willow’s friendships following her coming out made me understand that it wasn’t that I needed to feel like I had to hide my queerness or feel ashamed of it, but rather find the right people in my life. I just didn’t find ‘my people’ yet at the time, and I needed to change that. I needed to get on my way to find them.

When speaking with Metro in 2020, Whedon said he was told by the network of Willow and Tara’s relationship, ‘OK, you can’t make Willow bi, you can’t say this is a phase, because that’s what people do to deny their existence.’ … So, if I did it now, I’d be like, ‘yes she can be bi.’ Because some people are! But back then it was like, no…we’re not ready for that.’ Times have changed since the 1990’s and early 2000’s. By 2019, there were 128 bisexual characters on broadcast, cable, and streaming shows according to GLAAD. Most are women, with 90 female bisexual characters compared to 36 men and two non-binary. GLAAD noted, ‘In the real world, bisexual+ people actually make the up the majority of the community, but on broadcast television, this group experienced the most significant drop in percentage of representation year-over-year. We would encourage network programming teams to be deliberate in seeking out LGBTQ content in their 2020 slates, particularly stories featuring bisexual+ characters after this year’s significant drop in representation of that community on broadcast.’

There was one particular scene in the episode, ‘Body’, which is honestly the best episode in the entire series, where Willow breaks down crying while getting ready to go to the hospital following Buffy’s mom’s death. Tara comforts her and kisses her. By that point, Willow and Tara were in a committed relationship for almost year, and yet, that was the first time they were seen kissing on-screen. Despite the episode being about death and the grief thereafter, it also marked to be a celebration for the LGBTQ community. Joss Whedon had to fight against the mainstream media’s homophobia to include a lesbian couple. In fact, he’d treated to quit the series entirely if The WB didn’t allow him to include that kiss. Many would argue that his own prejudices damaged the arc of this relationship – and the show itself. Multiple actors in ‘Buffy’ and spin-off, ‘Angel’ and have spoken out against their former boss. But I want to challenge that notion. And that’s not to diminish his toxicity and the harassment that the female actors on the show had endured while working on the show. Michelle Trachtenberg, who played Buffy’s kid sister Dawn, and was 15 at the time of shooting, alleges that Whedon behaved inappropriately towards her. He wasn’t allowed to be alone in a room with her during shooting. Charisma Carpenter previously disclosed that Whedon had abused his power over her while she played Cordelia on ‘Buffy’ and ‘Angel’ for a total of 7 years. This could be an entire blog entry in itself. But for now, we’ll concentrate on his genius writing. He knew exactly what he was doing with that episode. He used his own experience with grief following his mother’s sudden death at an early age as a story for the episode.

Willow and Tara’s relationship also showed viewers that lesbian relationships are just like any other, and that lesbian couples go through the same things that heterosexual couples do; abuse and the notion of consent included. Season 6, particularly showed us that abuse can happen within lesbian relationships. But it doesn’t happen nearly as often as abuse within heterosexual relationships. The overwhelming majority of intimate partner violence is enacted by men against women. At least, that’s the assumption made by statistics. The actual ratio is htrwatly unknown as many men to this day don’t open up about their experience with sexual assault. Therefore, it feels grossly unfair that Whedon chose to make the first lesbian couple on his show – the first lesbian couple countless viewers saw on screen – into an abusive relationship. But it also showed us that it DOES, in fact happen, and that Willow wasn’t an exception. Willow crossed a line by using a spell to wipe her and Tara’s arguments about magic from Tara’s mind. They have sex while Tara’s memory is modified. It was sex that Tara, would likely not have consented to. This ground-breaking lesbian romance then became an abusive relationship that, arguably, culminates in rape.

Tara breaking up with Willow was very important to her character’s growth. It showed just how far she’s come from being the shy, co-dependant girl who’s afraid to speak up to the confident, assertive woman she’s become. In breaking up with Willow, she showed Willow that boundaries were crossed, and that she wasn’t going to let sh*t slide anymore like she did when they just started dating and getting to know each other. She showed her that she wasn’t going to tolerate the same behaviour that she used to. She showed her that she was her own person and that she was standing her ground. Willow was almost astounded by the fact that Tara thought she did anything wrong. In her own twisted way, she thought she was helping in their relationship, when in reality, she damaged it, as well as hurt Tara.

There was a great difference in how rape and abuse was seen in heterosexual and lesbian relationships. Willow faced no real repercussions for her abusive behaviour. Her friends didn’t shun her. Whereas everybody was rightfully horrified that Spike tried to rape Buffy. No one expressed that same disgust about Willow raping Tara. Willow eventually forgave Willow, and they got back together. The greatest mistake wasn’t that Tara was killed off, but that Tara forgave her abuser. And maybe it had to do with Whedon’s own views, perceptions and treatment of women. To this day, many fans believe that Tara would’ve still been alive had she not forgiven Willow, and that’s certainly true. She wouldn’t have come to Willow’s room and accidentally murdered, that’s for sure. It gives the biggest misconception that victims of abuse and rape are supposed to easily forgive their abusers. The same could be said about Buffy forgiving Spike after he attempted to rape her. Though she didn’t get back together with him in the end, she did tell him she loved him. Not because she felt that way, but because she wanted to ease his own pain. That was something I only understood only after I was raped myself.

But with Tara suddenly dying after getting back together with her girlfriend created a much deeper storyline for Willow. It was the very day of Tara’s death that Willow felt like she lost control of her life, and that was the entire point of Tara’s death. It also gave Tara’s a much deeper meaning following her demise from the show. No matter what we might think of Joss Whedon now, you can’t deny that he’s a genius writer. He’s ahead of his time. He always was, always has been, and always will be. The storyline of Tara’s death first aired almost 23 years ago, and yet here we are still talking about it today. When Buffy’s mom died suddenly, Tara was the strong one out of everyone. She was the one who was the calm in the storm, particularly for Willow and Buffy. When Tara herself died, Willow lost her calmness. Willow lost the one person in her life that kept her grounded. Following her demise at the end of season 6, Tara’s story was still kept alive in season 7 through Willow’s story. Everyone except for Willow suddenly seemed to have forgotten about Tara’s existence following her death, which was so disappointing considering all that Tara had done for the group.

Many fans hated season 7 of ‘Buffy’. More particularly, they hated Willow’s storyline following Tara’s death, as well as Kennedy, Willow’s girlfriend. I felt that way myself initially. I hated Kennedy, and after Willow was distracting Tara’s role in her life by moving on so quickly. I was always Team Oz, and if Willow wasn’t to end up with Tara, I desperately wanted her to end up with her first love. As I got older, though, I realized that Oz was perfect for her in high school, but in her adult years. She wasn’t meant to spend heed life with him, and their time always had an end date.

Kennedy, a polar opposite to Tara, represented hope and healing in Willow’s life. She represented love in Willow’s life that didn’t involve her past; more particularly, her time in high school or magic. It represented a second chance at love following death. It showed Willow that even she deserved that. Kennedy represented patience, kindness and empathy for Willow in her time of grief. She allowed Willow to open to her about her love for Tara, and even asked questions about her. That’s what made her character so unique and so necessary for Willow and Tara’s story to continue on even in Tara’s death.

Willow’s relationship with Kennedy also marked a milestone in TV history by being the first lesbian couple to be shown having sex on national television. The importance of their sex scene was two-fold: by showcasing Willow and Kennedy in the same montage as the heterosexual pairings, the series puts them on equal footing, allowing audiences to equate the frequency and normalcy of heterosexual sex scenes on screen to this groundbreaking lesbian one; additionally, by placing this scene in one of the final episodes of the series, Buffyensured that it would reach as many viewers as possible, as audiences eagerly awaited the conclusion to their favorite show. 

The series finale was supposed to bring Tara back to life and have her and Willow were meant to have the happily-ever-after ending. Amber Benson, however, declined to appear on the show again. Initially, it was reported that it was due to scheduling conflicts. While speaking with Evan Katz for his book, ‘for his new book, Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born: How Buffy Staked Our Hearts’, Benson said, ‘This is the first time I’m talking about this. I had had some issues with somebody on the show, and it had kind of come to a head as I was getting ready to leave. Leaving the show was sad because there are some of the crew and the writers and some of the cast that I just adore, but I had made my peace with that person and the show and I was done: ‘I’m leaving everything in a good place. I don’t need to come back.’’

And when speaking of Whedon and his alleged malicious intent when he wrote her out of the series, Benson said, ‘I truly, for all of his faults and for all of the things about him that are frustrating, I don’t think he ever meant to hurt the LGBTQ+ community. He just wasn’t thinking. I can truly, from the bottom of my heart, say [that] this was nothing intentional. This was a thoughtless error. But I didn’t want to come back. He really wanted me to come back and we just couldn’t come to an agreement on it. And most of that was my schedule.’

Benson also admitted she didn’t trust how the show would’ve handled her return. She said, ‘I just didn’t feel super trusting of the situation. And I felt like people had already been really hurt by this. And I’m not the writer. I can’t decide what’s going to happen to this character. I don’t have the reins. And so between the schedule, and not really having a hundred percent trust in what was going to happen and some other things, it just didn’t work out.’ And as much as I loved Tara, I couldn’t have agreed with her more. Tara’s character arc was left perfect in death. Long live Tara, and let’s allow her to rest in peace.