XO, Kitty: All The Reasons Why Kitty Was Always More Intriguing Than Lara Jean Ever Was – And Why Kitty’s Relationship With Peter Is So Significant

I recently watched the second season of ‘XO, Kitty’, which finally came out earlier this month after an almost two year hiatus. I’ll have to blame the 2023 Writers Guild of America strike for it. I’m not even ashamed to say that I binge-watched the entire season in 1 day. When news broke that the spin-off series to the ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’ movies was happening, I was hesitant of it being any good. I didn’t think the movie franchise was any good either. The first movie was great. It was really well made, and I could tell that its intent was love and adoration. ‘Teen romance is alive again!’ I thought. But then came its sequels. I could also tell that it was made by a woman. I could barely get through the second movie, and was looking how much time was left all throughout. It was…boring. And I didn’t even bother watching the third.

I know I’m most likely to be getting a lot of hate for what I just wrote, but I said what I said. That’s not to say that Lana Condor, who played the main protagonist Lara Jean Covey, Noah Centineo, who played the main love interest Peter Kavinsky, or any of the supporting cast did a bad job at portraying their characters. They simply worked with the material they were given. I think that the majority of the world would at least agree with me that the first movie, released in 2018, was the best one of them all. The first ‘To All The Boys’ movie holds a a 7 out of 10 rating on IMDB, and a 96% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The second movie holds a 6.1 out of 10 rating on IMDB, and a 78% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And the third movie holds a 6.3 rating on IMDB, and a 58% rating.

The third movie finished with Lara Jean and Peter leaving high school behind and beginning their new journeys in college; Lara Jean in NYU, Peter in Stanford – 3,000 miles away. But they still stay together and begin a long-distance relationship. According to Lara Jean herself, they weren’t like any other couple. They were Lara Jean and Peter, and therefore, were supposed to believe and hope that they’d stay together. Their story initially began in sixth grade when Peter took notice of Lara Jean during an assembly. But their actual love story began when Lara Jean’s little sister, Kitty, sent out Lara Jean’s love letters to the 5 boys they were written for. One was for Peter. A second letter was for Josh, Lara Jean and Kitty’s older sister’s Margot, boyfriend. Lara Jean initiated a fake relationship with Peter to avoid having a confrontation with Josh as she was in love with him. Over time, however, she developed real, genuine feelings for Peter, and they started dating for real. That was just the first movie.

Kitty, played by Anna Cathcart of the ‘Descendants’ franchise, became a popular character following the first movie’s release. Buzzfeed even published an entire article that year with 11 reasons why Kitty was the unsung hero of the film. Some of these reasons include:

• She knows how to diffuse awkward situations.
• She’s a feminist queen who doesn’t let a ~man~ tell her what to do.
• She has a playful sense of humor.
• She keeps it real — even if the truth sometimes hurts.
• She didn’t let Lara Jean run away from her problems.
• Her respect was earned, not given.
• Kitty wanted the best for her sisters, especially Lara Jean.
• She was the reason why Lara Jean and Peter K. get back together!
  
  

Of her favourite scene to shoot for the first movie, Cathcart told Buzzfeed in 2018, ‘I really like the pillow fight scene with Noah when they’re kind of on a date and then it pans to them and I’m there too, like, the third wheel all the time. I noticed that when I rewatched it and I was like, ‘He’s so smooth, he even saves the popcorn mid–pillow fight.’’ Centineo had actually improvised the small gesture of moving the popcorn off the couch before his character and Kitty have the pillow fight. He did it to save the mess and help everybody on set.

Again, when news broke that the ‘To All The Boys’ movie franchise was getting a sequel in October 2021, I was skeptical that it would even work. Spin-offs rarely ever work, unless it’s a spin-off like ‘Angel’, a successor to ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’, or ‘Young Sheldon’, a successor to ‘The Big Bang Theory’. ‘Young Sheldon’ now has its own spin-off series, ‘Georgie & Mandy’s First Marriage’. My skepticism faded away and turned into dust, however, as soon as I watched the first episode of ‘XO, Kitty.’ That was when I truly loved Kitty as a character and realized that she did, in fact, deserve to have her story to be told more in depth.

The reality is that Kitty is by far the more interesting character than Lara Jean ever was. But we needed to get to know Lara Jean first to understand Kitty and her role in Lara Jean’s life. Lara Jean can be described as a nice, quirky and shy girl, as well as someone who enjoys scrapbooking, fashion, especially Korean and vintage clothing, and baking. When we first meet her, we see that she loves love, but is very much afraid to experience it herself. She loves to think about it in her head, but is scared of it in real life. That was the main reason why there were so many make ups and break ups between her and Peter.

Kitty is the polar opposite of Lara Jean. She’s sharp, blunt, and Lara Jean herself described her as being shameless. Peter would describe Kitty as being a clever young girl with a strong personality. Peter’s relationship with Kitty is strong and goes beyond his romantic relationship with Lara Jean. During the time where his relationship with Lara Jean was off, he still drove Kitty to school – something that he wasn’t obligated to do at all. Kitty isn’t afraid to take risks. Her going to Korea to attend (the fictional) KISS, an abbreviation to Korean Independent School of Seoul was very much a risk. Even her presenting a PowerPoint to her dad to convince him to let her go to Korea to attend school there was a risk in itself.

She decided she wanted to move to Korea specifically to attend KISS to be closer to Dae, a boy she met while she was on a trip with her family in the third movie (thank goodness for YouTube). In her PowerPoint presentation to her dad, she used Lara Jean and Peter’s love story as an argument and reason for her to go to Korea. Though heartbroken as Kitty leaving would mean that all his 3 girls left home and it wold make him and his new wife empty nesters, he allowed her to go and experience the new life that was awaiting her in Korea.

Once she got to Korea, she was overjoyed with excitement and couldn’t wait to surprise her boyfriend with her appearance, but was utterly disappointed by what she saw. Dae, the boy she turned her life upside down for and moved to the other side of the world, had a girlfriend, Yuri. As it turned out, however, the entire relationship was fake, and Yuri was paying him to pretend to be her boyfriend. She practically blackmailed Dae to pretend to be her boyfriend as she needed to hide her sexuality from her very woke parents, and he needed the money in order to be able to attend school. Yuri told him that if he didn’t do as she told, she’d have his dad, who worked as a driver for Yuri’s family, fired from his job.

Though initially devastated by the new reality that her boyfriend cheated on her and got himself a new girlfriend (as perceived by her), Kitty decided to stay at KISS regardless. That’s something Lara Jean herself probably wouldn’t do; not at Kitty’s young age, anyway. She wouldn’t even move across the world in the first place because she’d be too afraid to take risks. Lara Jean was introduced as someone who was afraid of taking risks, especially when it came to her romantic feelings, so how could she have possibly moved to a whole different country for a boy she loved? Lara Jean’s fear of intimacy came from her family structure and her mother’s death. She was afraid of letting people into her life because she was scared they might leave. 

When it came to her relationship with Peter, Lara Jean was afraid to accept her true feelings for him, or to believe that he loved her back. She was terrified what it might mean if it were true. It was Kitty, and Josh, who challenged Lara Jean to go after Peter and take a risk in telling him how she felt. She did, but even as she did, she forced Peter to turn around so that she wouldn’t have to face him. Her fears didn’t end there, however. In her relationship with Peter, Lara Jean always had doubts in her mind about Peter’s true intentions with her, and as much as she wanted to believe he wanted her and only her, her mind always went back to Gen, her former best friend and Peter’s ex-girlfriend. She was never 100% certain that Peter was over Gen while they were together. And when she realized she wanted to be with Peter and not John Ambrose, another one of her letter recipients, she was still hesitant to go after him and tell him how she felt because she was terrified of what would happen if he didn’t feel the same. It was a resident in the nursing home that Lara Jean volunteered at that encouraged her to go after what she wanted. Lara Jean tearfully asked her, ‘And what if he doesn’t want me?’ And she answered, ‘It will hurt like hell.’ But in life, we must take risks and go after what we want, even if it means being rejected. We can’t keep avoiding our feelings. Lara Jean went after Peter, but he was already there to pick her up as she told him on their first day she didn’t like driving in the snow. It was only that she gave whole heart to Peter, and without hesitation, doubt, fear, or anything to protect her, told him she loved him.

We also can’t forget about Margot, the eldest of the Covey sisters. She’s the lesser known sister, and a lot about what we know about her is through what others said about her. In the first movie, Margot leaves for Scotland to attend university. She also broke up with her boyfriend, Josh, after two two years of dating him. She did it not because the relationship was bad, but because going to university single was a promise she made to her mom years prior to her death. She was the one who found her mother when she was dying. She was 12 years old when her mother died, and felt responsible to take the motherly duties to care for her two little sisters. Once she left for Scotland, she felt like her sisters didn’t need her anymore, but that wasn’t the case at all. Her leaving is explained as the following:

‘When Margot decided to go to college in Scotland, it felt like a betrayal. Even though I knew it was coming, because of course she was going to go to college somewhere far away. And of course she was going to go to college in Scotland and study anthropology, because she is Margot, the girl with the maps and the travel books and the plans. Of course she would leave us one day.

I’m still mad at her, just a little. Just a teeny-tiny bit. Obviously I know it’s not her fault. But she’s going so far away, and we always said we’d be the Song girls forever.’

Margot can be described as a very intelligent, responsible, and rational girl. she does whatever feels right to her, even if it hurts others. But she’s also very protective of her family, and only wants what’s best for all of them. When Lara Jean first got together with Peter, Margot was skeptical of their relationship, and only warmed up to him when he helped take down a video of him and Lara Jean making out in the hot tub. And when her dad is about to get married to her new stepmother, Margot is seemingly wary of the nuptials. With that said, she has a tough time trusting other people’s intentions around her and her family, and because she’s the older sister and a motherly figure, she feels it’s her duty to worry about everyone, but at the same time, live her own life too. And when feels something goes awry in her family, or not how she expected it to be, she feels responsible for it because she’s the protector in the family. When she feels down, her younger sisters reassure her that they love her and still need her even when she’s far away. In fact, that was why Lara Jean, in particular, was so mad at Margot for choosing to move far away from home in the first place. Lara Jean looks up to Margot and always wants to make her proud; while never wanting to disappoint or hurt her.

Kitty’s grief of her mother’s death is very different than that of Lara Jean and Margot, and we only start to understand the depth of it in ‘XO, Kitty’. Kitty was only 3 years old when her mother died. In a way, she felt that part of her identity was lost and she didn’t know who half of her was. On top of moving to Korea to attend KISS for a boy, she also attends the school in order to feel closer to her mother, as it’s the same school she attended when she was the same age Kitty was. She went there with the intention of getting to know more about her mom outside of what her family has told her throughout her life.

Eve, Kitty, Lara Jean, and Margot’s mom, became an important of the entire ‘XO, Kitty’ series as we, the viewers got to learn more about the family history that was left unfinished in Korea following Eve’s sudden passing. Season 2 revealed that Simon is the reason why Eve attended KISS in the first place because he is actually her long lost cousin.  The reason why she only learned the truth then was because her mother and Simon’s mother have a longstanding conflict due to the fact that Simon’s mom was left heartbroken after Eve’s mom went to the United States and started a new life.

Season 2, Episode 6 revealed more details of the family feud. Peter visited Kitty at KISS and hand-delivered the letters that Simon sent to Eve in the 1990s to Kitty. One of the letters revealed that Eve was supposed to go back to Korea with a three-year-old Kitty to reunite her mother with her sister (Simon’s mom) but she died shortly before her trip. Kitty followed through on her late mom’s mission in the season 2 finale by finally reuniting her halemoni (grandmother) and her sister, with both of them burying the hatchet once and for all. 

Kitty’s grief was almost dismissed in the ‘To All The Boys’ movie franchise. It was almost non-existent. People around her assumed her mother’s death didn’t affect her, or as much effect on her as it did on Lara Jean and Margot, because she was so young when she died. The fact of the matter is, however, losing a parent at any age is hard. It’s just a different kind of hard when you lose a parent at such a young age as Kitty did. There are many things one can do to cope with such a grief. This includes:

• Reach out for support – You can ask friends and family for help, or consider talking to a grief counselor. 
• Allow yourself to feel your emotions -It’s normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and loneliness. 
• Understand the significance of the loss – The death of a loved one can be a shattering experience, and it’s important to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. 
• Search for meaning – It’s normal to ask questions about why your parent died, or what happens after death. 
• Accept support from others – It can be hard to ask for help, but having a support network can make a big difference. 
• Consider professional grief counselling – A grief counselor can provide support and help you move through the grieving process. 
• Help provide structure and routine – Sticking to regular routines can help you feel more comfortable.

I’d like to come back to the topic of Peter here, though. Though his cameo is super short and can be considered to be the icing on the case rather than the cake itself, I found it so vital to telling the story of Kitty and Peter’s relationship dynamic, both in the movie franchise and the series. Kitty initially met Peter when she was 10 years old. As soon as she met him, she was rooting for him, and she was rooting for Lara Jean’s happiness with him. Over time, they created a bond that went beyond Peter’s romantic relationship with Lara Jean. He became the male figure, aside from her father, that she greatly needed.

Back when they were still fake dating, Lara Jean mentioned to Peter that she was afraid to let people in because of them potentially walking out easily. In hindsight, Peter’s close bond to Kitty might have had a lot to do with Lara Jean’s testament on trust. Kitty was the one who believed Peter was the right one for Lara Jean, and she’d constantly challenge her on this. Kitty even kept the love letters Peter wrote to Lara Jean throughout their fake relationship that Lara Jean had initially thrown out without reading. Then we see that during a break in his relationship with Lara Jean, he still drove her to school despite having no obligation to do so, which showed that wasn’t someone to ever leave, and he was there for the long haul. We also can’t forget the tiny detail of when Peter came to pick up Lara Jean for their first official date, with flowers at hand, he gave one flower to Kitty. Him including Kitty and not making her feel excluded was everything.

But I think that my all-time favourite Kitty-And-Peter moment was in the third movie (again, thank you YouTube), when Kitty and her family came home from a family trip to Korea and found Peter there to surprise Lara Jean. Before Lara Jean could move or even say anything, Kitty screamed Peter’s name and rushed to hug Peter herself, and jokingly mocked his ‘welcome home’ sign. Peter, in turn, happily embraced her back. Lara Jean was in second place. Kitty then interrupted Peter and Lara Jean’s date night at home to ask Peter for advice on dating and how she should be text Dae, the boy she met while on the family trip for whom she turned her whole life around and who ended up breaking her heart. Though shocked at first that Kitty met and showed interest in a boy, he promised her to coach her on dating. What was ironic about that scene is that Kitty has not 1, but 2 sisters to ask for advice, but she still put her entire trust in Peter for it.

It’s safe to say that Peter and Kitty have had a loving brother-and-sister relationship of their own. It’s also important to remember that Kitty never developed that type of relationship with Josh, who dated Kitty’s sister Margot for 2 whole years, and the two never interacted again following the break up unless Lara Jean was there. Peter, on the other hand, developed a real with Kitty beyond his romantic relationship with Lara Jean, and even if he and Lara Jean would to break up for good, he proved that he’d still be there for Kitty no matter what.

While Kitty was at school at KISS, she reinvented herself and became her own person. Along with trying to find her roots and identity to feel closer to her mom, she made some new friends too. Particularly in Quincy, Min Ho and even Yuri. But of course, there wouldn’t be a story without drama evolving between the friend group. To make long story short, Min Ho, who’s Dae’s best friend at the school, developed feelings for Kitty, Kitty developed feelings for Yuri, Dae still loved Kitty and didn’t know how to show it her.

Season 1 of ‘XO Kitty’ ended on a cliffhanger: Kitty officially broke things off with Dae after finding out the truth as to why he and Yuri were dating. Yuri was with her girlfriend, Julianna, who had to be kept a secret from everyone, including Yuri’s family. When Kitty was on the plane, she saw Min Ho sitting beside her, and he told her he loved her. The beginning of season 2 had Kitty reject Min Ho, and he was utterly heartbroken by it. After a new semester started, Kitty was forced to be roommates with Yuri and Julianna. It was awkward as Kitty still had feelings for Yuri, and she knew she couldn’t act on them. Regardless of her complicated love life, which then included her and Yuri kissing, which then resulted in Yuri’s break up with Julianna, Kitty decided to continue on looking for ways to connect with her mother further. That was where Kitty’s mission to look for her relatives and getting them reunited with the family she knew came into play. With the help of Min Ho, Peter and Margot, Kitty succeeded in that mission.

Peter coming to visit Kitty at KISS wasn’t essential to the story. It was the icing on the cake, but boy was the icing good. When Peter arrived at the school, Kitty ran up to him the same exact way she did in the third movie. His visit further proved that their bond went far beyond Peter’s romantic relationship with Lara Jean. During his short, but very sweet visit, Kitty showed Peter around the school and helped him pick out gifts for Lara Jean to bring home. She was hoping he was asking her to pick out an engagement ring, further print just how much she was Lara Jean and Peter’s biggest fan. And when he gave her the letters, Peter acknowledged that he knew how important it was for her to read them, and suggested that he leave and come back later to give her space. She, in turn, told him the letters could wait; that she wanted to spend time with him, further indicating just how important Peter was to her.

At the time of his visit, Kitty was going through drama in her relationships and friendships, particularly with Min Ho and Yuri. When she opened up to Peter about everything that’s happened and doubted her actions in the process, saying that she needed to start minding her own business, he reassured her that she did absolutely everything right. He reminded her that her not minding her own business landed him the love of his life. He told her that she had killer instincts, and she mustn’t belittle them. It didn’t matter that Min Ho had an issue with her getting in the way of his relationship with Stella, Min Ho’s new girlfriend and Kitty’s new roommate who sabotaged Kitty and Min Ho for her benefit to blackmail them. Min Ho having an issue with Kitty for her getting in his personal didn’t make Kitty wrong, and that was something he reminded her of. As Peter said, ‘You’re not minding your business landing me the love of my life.Kitty, you have this killer instinct.It is literally your superpower. So you gotta stop second guessing yourself. You are Kitty Song Freakin’ Covey. Don’t you forget it.’

Kitty couldn’t help herself and embraced Peter again, telling him he was the best while on the verge of breaking down in tears. Following Peter’s departure, Kitty took Peter’s advice to heart and utilized his words to fix her relationships with those she cared about and make everything better for them. That included for Min Ho, Yuri, Quincy, and even Dae. She even got the courage to go up to Min Ho and asked him if she could join him on his brother’s summer tour.

The entire premise of ‘XO, Kitty’ is impulsiveness and bravery, and what happens when the two collide. We already knew Kitty was brave when we first met her in the first ‘To All The Boys’ movie in 2018. The drastic difference between Lara Jean and Kitty’s story being told was that Lara Jean’s story involved her gaining confidence and bravery in her relationship with Peter and herself with the help of Kitty’s bravery, whereas Kitty’s story involved her questioning her bravery in her relationships and friendships in a completely new world that she was living in while in Korea. Whether or not we get a season 3 of ‘XO Kitty’ is unknown as of now, but I really hope we do. Not even for the fact of seeing whether or not Kitty gets her happy ending with Min Ho, the Korean Peter Kavinsky, but rather to see Kitty gain her confidence and bravery back, one that made her so relatable and compelling character in the first place, and to see her get to be the person that she’s always been.