Selena Gomez: What Her Relationship With Benny Blanco Tells Us Of Her Willingness To Learn – And The Importance Of Knowing How To Use Social Media Wisely Without It Hurting Your Career

My previous blog entry about ‘Nobody Wants This’ heavily discussed the trials and tribulations that an interfaith couple could face, such as Kristen Bell’s goy Joanne faced in her relationship with Adam Brody’s ultra Jewish Rabbi Noah. They had a beautiful love story. They had depth, maturity, and a sense of humility together that grew stronger the longer they were together. It seemed as though nothing could ever go wrong…almost. If it wasn’t for their interfaith relationship and the outside influences, nothing in the world would be of obstacles. But then again, that’s what made their story interesting. So much so that we’re lucky enough to see their story continue after Noah’s ‘happily ever after’ romantic grand gesture when he seemingly chose his relationship with Joanne over a promotion in his career as a Rabbi. But more on it in my previous post, which you can read AFTER you read this one.

Joanne and Noah are a reel-life couple. In fact, Charlotte York is reel shiksa turned Jew after she got married to her second husband, Harry Goldenblatt on ‘Sex And The City’. Their story, just like Joanne and Noah’s, was beautiful and unexpected. Unlike Joanne, Charlotte did concert before marrying. But there are plenty of couples out there who have the same, or a similar story to them in the real world too. Erin Foster and her husband, music executive Simon Tikhman. She created the ‘Nobody Wants This’, and wrote the premise for it, which was based on her own life with Tikhman. Unlike her the character she’s based on, she actually did convert to Judaism when her husband told her he wouldn’t marry a non-Jew. Part of the conversion process included attending a 10-week program at American Jewish University. Before their wedding, Erin and Simon both attended an eight-week Choosing Judaism class.

Another real-life interfaith couple is Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco, whose real name is Benjamin Joseph Levin. The duo have worked together since 2013 on numerous occasions, including the 2019 hit song, ‘I Can’t Get Enough’. And just as a fun fact, Blanco also worked with Gomez’s longtime ex-boyfriend, Justin Bieber. They collaborated on the 2021 hit, ‘Lonely’, and Blanco wrote and produced several of Bieber’s songs throughout his career, such as 2010’s ‘Somebody To Love’ and 2015’s ‘Love Yourself’. After news broke of Gomez’s collaborative album with Blanco, which comes out later this month, Bieber unfollowed Blanco on Instagram. Even though Bieber and Gomez broke up in 2018 after a years-long on-and-off relationship, and Bieber married Hailey (Baldwin) Bieber and had a baby since then, fans are still obsessed with their former relationship, and every single activity of theirs makes the news.

But we’re not here to talk about Justin Bieber; nor are we here to talk about his relationship with Gomez or the alleged fraud between Gomez and Hailey that was fully made up by the media. Bieber was merely a mention in this particular blog entry, mostly for SEO purposes. Instead, we’re here to talk about Selena Gomez and her interfaith relationship with Benny Blanco. The two became a couple in 2023 after a years-long friendship. In December 2024, Gomez announced her engagement to Blanco. Taylor Swift, Gomez’s longtime best friend, reacted to the engagement by telling the world that, yes, she’d be the flower girl.

Just like Joanne in ‘Nobody Wants This’, Gomez revealed she wasn’t planning on converting to Judaism, but did reveal that the pair would incorporate a joyous Jewish tradition into their big day – a hora, which is a circular celebratory dance, where the bride and groom are often lifted in chairs by wedding guests. And when asked what religion their future children would grow up with, Blanco Interview magazine in his joint interview with Gomez, ‘We want our kids to have both of our values, both of our morals and hopefully when we mix them up in a pot they’ll’ – Gomez finished the sentence with, ‘Turn out good.’ And even though Gomez grew up as a Christian, she celebrated Hannukah last year with Blanco.

In 2023, just as the Israel-Hamas war was at its peak, Gomez was criticized and a ‘coward’ for refusing to comment on atrocities committed by Hamas due to peer pressure. Mitchell Bard, one of the members of the Jewish organisation American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise (Aice), particularly called her out for staying silent, as well as for falling victim to the intense pressure put on celebrities to boycott and demonise Israel, due to pressure of left wingers or their own fellow celebrity peers. Bard continued his criticism of by stating that her priority was with her business, which was threatened after the Rare Beauty’s CEO followed pro-Israel accounts. In October 2023, Gomez posted on her Instagram stories, ‘I’ve been taking a break from social media because my heart breaks to see all of the horror, hate, and terror that’s going on in the world. People being tortured and killed or any act of hate towards any one group is horrific. We need to protect ALL people, especially the children, who have also been victims of the conflict on both sides. Words will never be enough for everyone. I stand by innocent people getting hurt. That’s what makes me sick. I wish I could change the world. But a post won’t.’

She did have a point. One post wouldn’t change a thing. It’s not like her post would touch the heart of anyone in Hamas in any shape or form. Blanco, on his part, hasn’t necessarily spoken of the Israel-Hamas since the October 7 massacre, but has proudly displayed his Jewish roots on social media at the height of antisemitism. For instance, in one of his cooking posts in July 2024, he displayed his Star of David on camera. Then in October 2024, Creative Community For Peace, a Zionist organization, posted a video of Blanco standing next to a man saying they were praying for Israel and ‘Am Yisrael Chai’ with Blanco blowing a kiss to the camera. In his debut cookbook, Blanco included a section called ‘Kibitz and Complain’, highlighting Jewish recipes and discussing his experiences as a Jew. He talked about going to Jewish delis with his father growing up, drinking Dr. Brown’s soda, and how his grandmother refused to share her matzah ball soup recipe. Baking influencer Jake Cohen posted a video of Blanco where the two cooked Blanco’s own rendition of a latke, one of the multiple Jewish recipes featured in his New York Times-bestselling cookbook ‘Open Wide: A Cookbook for Friends’. Other Jewish recipes include a latke burger, homemade pastrami, and his family’s kugel recipe. He also previously collaborated with Jewish comedian Eric Andre on cooking content and has spoken at length about his love of bagels and schmear on TikTok. He was also recognized for his work in the music industry time and time again for being an advocate for the Jewish community, and he’d never shy away from using his platform to bring awareness to Judaism, way before the October 7 massacre. His tweets include:

• In 2010, Blanco tweeted, ‘Being Jewish is a state of mind…not a religious group.’
• One year later, he celebrated his Judaism in a self-deprecating tweet when he wrote, ‘I love be[ing] Jewish and all but my unibrow has to go asap!’
• When the Beastie Boys’ Adam Yauch, otherwise known as MCA, died in 2012, he wrote, ‘Beastie Boys gave every Jewish kid hope to make it in the music industry.’
• He showed fans how relatable he (and his mother) are when he shared: ‘Jewish mothers will never run out of things to worry about.’
• He also wrote, ‘Happy Chanukah to all my short hairy awkward Jews!!! We are in this one together!!!’
• Blanco frequently acknowledges Jewish holidays and wished his followers a ‘happy Jew year’ on Rosh Hashanah. 

And speaking of food and celebrations, Blanco has even incorporated his fiancé in his Jewish roots. She sat down with Blanco, Cohen, and Andre for a Passover Seder in 2023, where they ate matzah ball soup and read from the Haggadah. As long as we’re talking about food here, I think it’s time to discuss Gomez’s time at this year’s awards season. She’s been very busy this year with the release of ‘Only Murders In The Building’ on Hulu and ‘Emilia Perez’ on Netflix. She, of course, had her fiancé by her side at practically every awards ceremony, and flashed her stunning engagement ring where she could. But instead of focusing on her immense talent, the general public focused more on her appearance as she drastically lost a lot of weight. After her appearance at the 2025 SAG Awards in February, The Daily Mail posted an article with the title, ‘Selena Gomez’s dramatic weight loss shocks fans at 2025 SAG Awards’. The article itself stated that Gomez ‘appeared more slender and was glowing.’ My question to this was, ‘Was she not glowing before the weight loss?’ And I wasn’t alone in this, because Taylor Lautner, who previously dated Gomez, came to her defence soon after. He wrote on Instagram, ‘It’s a cruel world full of hate out there. You can never please everyone nor should you have to. In my experience it doesn’t make the words sting less, it just refocuses you onto what matters. And it sure isn’t the shape, color or appearance of your body. Daily reminder to all of us to not forget how beautiful you are inside and out…and be a little bit nicer.’

The singer-actress has been battling lupus, also known as systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), which is a chronic autoimmune disease that occurs when the immune system attacks healthy tissue throughout the body. It can cause inflammation and tissue damage in many areas, including the skin, joints, brain, lungs, kidneys, and blood vessels. Symptoms vary from person to person and can be mild or severe. Weight gain in women, and men, battling lupus can occur for a number of a reasons. These include medications, unhealthy eating habits, and reduced activity. And to add more description and depth to it:

• Medications

Corticosteroids: These medications are often used to treat lupus, but can cause weight gain as a side effect. Steroids can also increase blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglyceride levels.

• Unhealthy Eating Habits

High-fat foods: Peocessed and fatty foods can raise cholesterol levels and contribute to inflammation. 

Salt and water retention: Kidney disease, which can be a complication of lupus, can cause salt and water retention. 

• Reduced Activity

Lupus symptoms: Arthritis, muscle pain, and fatigue can make it difficult to exercise. 

Stress: Increased stress levels can lead to weight gain. 

Sleep: Reduced sleep can contribute to weight gain. 

• Other Factors

Mood disorders: Depression and other mood disorders can lead to weight gain.

Hypothyroidism: Lupus can affect the thyroid, and hypothyroidism is the most common way lupus affects the thyroid.

Let’s get one thing straight here…

No matter the case, no matter what the actual cause for her weight gain really shouldn’t f*cking matter. It didn’t make her any less beautiful. It didn’t make her any less of a woman. It didn’t make her any less worthy. She looked like a princess at the 2024 SAG Awards with her white dress, glowing makeup, and long, grateful black hair. And still, social media users were focusing on her weight gain.

Taylor Swift struggled with an eating disorder due to the public scrutiny she faced years prior based on the way she looked, particularly her weight. If we look at her 1989 era from 2015, we can clearly see that she’s lost a lot of weight. Her appearance drastically changed from what we used to know and used to see. With her releasing albums every two years like clock work, it was a lot of Taylor Swift that we saw. None of us, or at least me, myself and I, didn’t understand why or how she decided to lose so much weight. It just seemed so diabolical to me.

In her ‘Miss Americana’ documentary, Swift opened up about her very unhealthy relationship with food during that time in her life. After being pictured facing endless amount of photographers after she emerges from her front door, Swift is heard in voiceover saying, ‘It’s not good for me to see pictures of myself every day. it’s only happened a few times, and I’m not in any way proud of it. There have been times in the past when I’d see a picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big, or… someone said that I looked pregnant … and that’ll just trigger me to just starve a little bit — just stop eating.’ She then elaborated on her struggles further in an interview with Variety. She said, ‘didn’t know if I was going to feel comfortable with talking about body image and talking about the stuff I’ve gone through in terms of how unhealthy that’s been for me — my relationship with food and all that over the years. But the way that Lana (Wilson, the film’s director) tells the story, it really makes sense. I’m not as articulate as I should be about this topic because there are so many people who could talk about it in a better way. But all I know is my own experience. And my relationship with food was exactly the same psychology that I applied to everything else in my life: If I was given a pat on the head, I registered that as good. If I was given a punishment, I registered that as bad. I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine. And the headline was like ‘Pregnant at 18?’ And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment. And then I’d walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, ‘Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!’ And I looked at that as a pat on the head. You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body.  I’ve never really wanted to talk about that before, and I’m pretty uncomfortable talking about it now. But in the context of every other thing that I was doing or not doing in my life, I think it makes sense to have it in film.’

Swift also mentioned in the same interview that she looked up to such advocates as Jameela Jamil (more on her in a later post) for inspiration. Jamil got her career breakthrough when she starred in ‘The Good Place’ alongside Kristen Bell, and now dedicates so much of her time advocating for women’s health. More so, with her podcast, iWeigh. This greatly reminded me of Kelly Clarkson, who won our hearts when she won the first season of ‘American Idol’ in 2002. Instead of focusing on her talent as musician, and even an actress, we put so much of an emphasis on her weight all throughout her 23 year career in the industry. It’s as though her life depended on being ‘skinny’, and that was the only time when she was truly praised. It was the same with fellow ‘American Idol’ alums, Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson. Lizzo also made headlines in recent days for her ‘dramatic’ weight loss as she stepped out to celebrate Oscar’s night at the Vanity Fair After Party with her boyfriend, Mike Wright.

For a community that takes pride in advocating for body positivity, it sure does seem to be the exact opposite. All eyes seem to be focused on women’s appearances; weight included. And though she didn’t use her platform to say much of anything about the Israel-Hamas war that’s happening right now, Gomez has tirelessly used it to advocate for such causes as mental and chronic health. She’s said that she was an advocate for women and that everybody was going through something, and that she believed in the power of being vulnerable and telling people when you need help. She’d used her beauty brand, Rare Beauty, to raise money for mental health. One percent of all Rare Beauty sales had gone to the Rare Impact Fund. Of Gomez’s realness, Blanco said in their joint interview in Interview magazine, ‘Rare Beauty. There’s a complexity to her that’s so big and so small at the same time, and I’ve always gravitated towards artists like that, like Billie Eilish and Lana Del Rey and you. It’s like, you guys are never going to say something that’s not the realest shit. And I love that.’

And I absolutely agree with Blanco. I just wish he didn’t have to include Billie Eilish as one of his examples as she’s pro-Palestine, but we’ll let that sh*t slide. Selena Gomez has been authentically herself all throughout her career. And I don’t even care what Demi Lovato has said about her in the past. Lovato herself hadn’t been a reliable source in the past for more reasons than not. Sometimes the amount of empathy that Gomez has gets her in trouble, simply because people can say whatever the f*ck they want on social media; things they’d never say to anyone to their faces. In a sense, she’d become the world’s online punching bag; like that video she posted, and quickly deleted, of herself crying for the Mexican prisoners President Trump has deported, and she kept saying, ‘I’m Sorry’. Social media users and influencers alike couldn’t get enough recreating the video, mocking her uncontrollable crying. It’s honestly no wonder that she chose not to speak of the Israel-Hamas war. Even if she did, she would’ve been judged and harassed. Now, I have to somewhat agree with this particular judgement, because in the video, she cried for people who had absolutely no place in our society. She was crying for people who kept women and children unsafe, and they didn’t deserve to have any sort of access to the ‘real world’. They deserve to be jailed…forever. I’m all for showing empathy, but only to the right people, and the people she cried for certainly will NEVER deserve empathy and compassion shown towards them.

With that said, I have to admit that I actually appreciate Gomez not speaking up too much about the Israel-Hamas war, because it’s always better to not say anything about topics you probably have limited knowledge of; like Gomez did of the Mexican prisoners being deported. Did she even know what their crimes were, or was she basing her crying on the fact that they were Mexican just like her?And she didn’t even need to say much. The very little she said already said a heck of a lot. Her social media activity said a heck of a lot. Her willingness to celebrate Jewish holidays with her Jewish fiancé and learn about the Jewish culture so publicly said a heck of a lot. I’m in no way defending the people that mocked her for the crying video she made. I also understand what made her do the video. Her own family is of Mexican origin and immigrated to the United States the same way, beginning with her aunt crossing the border in the 1970s hidden in the back of a trunk. Gomez shared in an interview with Times, ‘Undocumented immigration is an issue I think about every day, and I never forget how blessed I am to have been born in this country thanks to my family and the grace of circumstance. When I signed on to executive-produce a show about undocumented immigrants, I couldn’t help but anticipate the criticisms I might face. But the truth is, the worst criticism I can imagine is still nothing compared to what undocumented immigrants face every day.’ Gomez previously produced a 2019 Netflix documentary, ‘Living Undocumented’, which focuses on the lives of undocumented immigrants in the United States.

As of the publishing of this blog entry, Gomez has 421 million followers on Instagram. At one point, she was the most followed person on Instagram until she was dethroned by Cristiano Ronaldo. She lost a few million followers in the past few months; most likely due to her social media activity following the Israel-Hamas war, as well as her video crying out for Mexican prisoners being deported. In September 2024, she had 424 million followers. That’s a lot of pressure for a person; any person. It’s especially a lot of pressure for a woman; a woman who’s going through health battle; a woman who’s constantly judged on her appearance; a woman who’s constantly judged on what she posts and doesn’t post; a woman who’s trying to bring awareness to a cause; a woman who’s just trying to live her life the best she can, even though all eyes have been on her since she was at least 7 years old. And it did, in fact, put a lot of pressure on Gomez. She even almost deleted the app completely at one point. In a 2022 interview with Good Morning America, she revealed that she hadn’t actually used the platform in 4 years by that point, and instead had a team post on her behalf.

Once known for being both chronically online and highly aware of how emotionally draining social media could be, Gomez’s credibility was, of course, questioned following this revelation, but I personally didn’t blame her for the decision to be off social media entirely to focus on her mental health. I’m saying this as someone who’d gone through a health crisis and mental health struggles just like Gomez did. Of course, my platform isn’t nearly as big as hers, but our relationship with social media is one and the same. We both became victims of public scrutiny. We both cared too much about what people thought of us.

While speaking to The Independent, Chiaoning Su, PhD, a professor in communications at Oakland University, shared her thoughts on Gomez’s social media use. She said, ‘There is a very clear correlation between heavy social media usage, increasing anxiety, and sleep deprivation. To take a step back and to announce the social media detox, I think it’s a very positive sign to say that she does care about her mental health. And that could be something for the younger generation to look up to and to follow her lead.’ In a 2018 survey of 1,000 individuals who stated they were quitting social media for good, 41% of them reported that social media platforms made them feel anxious, sad, or depressed. Seeing this statistic had me feeling relieved. I wasn’t alone in this struggle. All this time, I thought I was the problem, when really, it’s just the nature of what social media has become.

Let’s get this one straight: social media isn’t for everyone. Celebrities aren’t excluded. Karla Sofía Gascón, Gomez’s ‘Emilia Perez co-star, probably should stay off of it. Back in January, journalist Sarah Hagi unearthed a whole host of seriously problematic tweets that Karla sent between 2020 until as recently as this year. One of these tweets had the transgender actress call Gomez a rich rant, though she disputed it and called that particular tweet fake. That particular tweet read in Spanish, ‘She’s a rich rat who plays the poor bastard whenever she can and will never stop bothering her ex-boyfriend and his wife.’ Gascon’s tweets were very much problematic and damning, with Karla repeatedly expressing anti-Muslim sentiment, targeting diversity at the Oscars, and even making some wildly offensive statements about George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter movement.

Gascon insisted that her ‘Emilia Perez’ team was supportive of her, but that’s farther from the truth. Zoe Saldana, who won an Oscar for her performance, recently said of the ordeal, ‘It makes me really sad because I don’t support [it], and I don’t have any tolerance for any negative rhetoric towards people of any group. I can only attest to the experience that I had with each and every individual that was a part, that is a part, of this film, and my experience and my interactions with them was about inclusivity and collaboration and racial, cultural, and gender equity. And it just saddens me. It saddens me that we are having to face this setback right now. Director Jacques Audiard also chipped in saying, It’s very hard for me to think back to the work I did with Karla Sofía. The exceptional atmosphere that we had on the set was indeed based on trust. And when you have that kind of relationship, and suddenly you read something that that person has said, things that are absolutely hateful and worthy of being hated, of course, that relationship is affected. I haven’t spoken to her and don’t want to. I don’t understand it, and what I don’t understand about this, too, is why she’s harming people who were very close to her. I’m thinking in this thing of how hurting others, of how she’s hurting the crew and all these people who worked so incredibly hard on this film. I’m thinking of myself, I’m thinking of Zoe and Selena. I just don’t understand why she’s continuing to harm us.’

It’s hard to say whether or not anyone will ever want to work with Gascon in the near future. I was surprised to see she was even welcomed at the Oscars after her tweets were resurfaced. What we can learn from her at this point is that we all need to be aware of our social media activity, and even when we think no one else is watching, someone always does, even if it’s years later. Social media can be great for your career. It can BE your career. But it can also destroy your career, just like Gascon’s career is now. She initially made history as the first openly trans actor to be nominated for the Best Actress Oscar. But now…Netflix has cut ties with her, and has refused to fund her attendance at any awards shows or events for ‘Emilia Perez’.

Gomez opened up on the aftermath of the resurfaced tweets, and said, ‘I’m really good. Some of the magic has disappeared. But I choose to continue to be proud of what I’ve done, and I’m just… I’m just grateful and live with no regrets. I would do this movie over and over again if I could.’ I was so glad to see her take the high road, and show such grace, light, and positivity, even in darkness. Celebrities use social media to connect with fans, promote their brands, and share their personal lives. It’s very clear, now more than ever, that some celebrities should really stay away from it. At the same time, Gascon’s true colours only came to light BECAUSE of social media. It’s not good for her, but certainly good for us, the general public, as well as anyone else who’d ever consider hiding her in the future. It’s not like ALL celebrities have social media platforms. On very rare occasions, we see that some celebrities don’t. These include Kristen Stewart, Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, Mila Kunis, Emily Blunt, Scarlett Johansson, Daniel Radcliffe, Sandra Bullock, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Mary-Kate Olsen, Chris Pine, Alicia Vikander, Tina Fey, Robert Pattinson, Kate Moss, Saoirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett, and most recent Best Actress Oscar winner, Mikey Madison.

Selena Gomez has made some mistakes with her social media use. There’s no doubt about that. Who doesn’t make mistakes, anyways. Her mistakes have only shown how much empathy and compassion she has for others, which is absolutely wonderfully evident to anyone. The best thing she’d done with her platform is advocate and bring awareness to chronic and mental health. I myself learned so much just by following her story. Her essence is absolute divine wisdom that is truly inspiring and refreshing. Going back to the joint interview she did with Benny Blanco for Interview magazine, I feel that the most compelling thing she said was, ‘I don’t think that I have life figured out in any way. My perspective on it, in a simplistic way, is that I actually feel valued. I feel seen. I feel respected. And I think that’s all I’ve ever really wanted. I’ve kind of been alone in the world. I was alone for five years before we got together, and I think that really helped me appreciate someone like Ben. He gets so weirded out by me saying this, but genuinely, 10 years ago, I wasn’t in a space in my life where I could have accepted the kind of patience, the kind of unconditional love that he gives me.’

THAT right there is why she’s so beloved, at least in my eyes, as well as Blanco’s. He said of her, ‘I truly think she feels that it doesn’t matter what she’s accomplished in her life, she’s just a person floating on this earth like everyone else. And I think some artists start to lose sight of that and it’s harder for them to connect to where they first came from. And I’ll tell you first, this girl’s still shopping at Target and eating Jell-O and popcorn. I find it so humbling. There’s a reason why the whole world is always rooting for her, because she’s such a sweet person. She would never say anything to try to hurt someone. She might say some things to herself that sometimes I wish she was a little bit more confident, because she is all of these things. Sometimes it’s very hard for us to see how special we really are. When someone’s an artist like that, it feels a little bit more complex and I always tend to gravitate towards artists who have such a-‘

I don’t think I could ever fall out of love with Selena Gomez, no matter what mistakes she makes on social media…PERIOD!