Britney Spears: The Exploration Of How Her Postpartum Depression And Her Kids Were Used As A Weapon In Her Conservatorship – And How Paris Hilton Was Her Only Friend And Confidant During That Time

I merely mentioned Britney Spears in my previous blog entry when listing celebrity short-lived marriages. Her first marriage to Jason Alexander (No, not the actor) lasted only 55 hours. But before you joke and make fun, that’s not the shortest ever marriage in history. The shortest ever marriage in history lasted only 3 minutes. And yes, you read that correctly; only 3 minutes. Following her Vegas marriage and divorce, Spears was married twice more. First to Kevin Federline between 2004 and 2007, and then to Sam Asghari between 2022 and 2024. She had two children with Federline, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Asghari supported Spears through her fans’ ‘Free Britney’ movement, which led to her being freed from her conservatorship. The conservatorship began in 2008, and finally ended in 2021.

Of that time in his life, Asghari said in a recent interview, ‘I think it’s the bare minimum you can do as a partner, to be a backbone to someone and to be their biggest supporter, biggest cheerleader, the biggest…the biggest everything. I just wish her the best. I think that the number one factor of a partner is to be there for one another, no matter what. There’s never ever a need to take advantage of anybody. We all go through this life and we go through different chapters and you meet people along the way and they are a big part of your life. You’re just always thankful for every moment that you spent with people in the past.’ The actor and model also spoke on ‘The Nikki and Brie Show’ of the perks that came with being in a relationship with Spears. He said, ‘I’ve been an actor since high school. We met on an acting set — my last partner [Spears], who I was married to — and I couldn’t help that she was the biggest superstar in the world. That kind of gave me a kick start. Everybody’s famous by association — whether you work with something or you, it’s just how it is. I’ve learned a lot in the past five or six years being exposed to that (darker) side of Hollywood. And it’s quite a blessing. You have to be careful in every industry. Not just in Hollywood. You have to always be careful and protect yourself and protect the people that you love.’

It’s important to note that ending a conservatorship is almost impossible. A general conservatorship terminates on the conservatee’s death or upon a court order. Through the conservatorship, Britney’s father, Jamie, paid himself $6 million. Of course he wouldn’t want to terminate his guardianship of Britney. It wouldn’t be in HIS best interest to do so. She was put under conservatorship after she was placed on a 5150 hold due to a series of events in her life where she demonstrated ‘erratic behavior’. This includes attacking a paparazzo’s car with an umbrella and shaving her head. She was also hospitalized after refusing to return her children after a visit. Ending conservatorship just didn’t seem like anything that would ever happen for Spears as everyone in her life seemed to be against her. Following her split from Asghari, she accused him of having worked with her father, but I hustled don’t believe it to be true. I believe he was the only good thing in her life at the time. Her two children were brainwashed to believe that she was the ‘bad guy’ of it all and turned against her. So when exactly does a conservatorship end? The path to it goes as follows:

• Death of the conservatee: The conservatorship automatically ends when the conservatee dies. 
• Exhaustion of funds: If the conservatee’s assets are used up, the conservatorship may end. 
• Restoration of capacity: If the conservatee regains the ability to manage their own affairs, the conservatorship may be terminated. 
• Conservator’s resignation or inability to fulfill duties: If the conservator resigns or is unable to fulfill their duties, the conservatorship may be terminated or the conservator replaced. 

After Spears’ June 2022 wedding to Asghari, which wasn’t attended by her sons or any of her immediate family, which also included her sister, former Nickelodeon star, Jamie Lynn Spears, it was revealed that the singer actually hadn’t had a relationship with her kids in 2 years by that point in time. Her kids said in a ‘60 Minutes Australia’ interview they appeared with their father following the wedding that they didn’t attend their mother’s big day because none of the family members were there. Jayden said, ‘I’m really happy for them, but she didn’t invite the whole family. And then if it was just gonna be me and Preston, I just don’t see how that situation would have ended on good terms.’ Of his grandfather placing his mother in a conservatorship, Jayden said, ‘At first he was just trying to be like any father letting her pursue her daughter’s dream of becoming a superstar but I did think maybe the conservatorship went on too long, probably why my Mum was very angry about the whole situation that she was working for too long and I personally think she was. She should have taken a break and relaxed. doesn’t deserve all the hatred he is getting in the media. I love him, with all my heart. He was just trying to be a father.’ He also spoke highly of his grandmother. He said, ‘Whenever I see her, she cares about me. They are not bad people! They know what we are going through now. They want our future to be what we want it to be. They just want to watch over us. Memow and Uncle Bryan are a good part of our lives. They have taught me how to deal with things.’

Of him calling Jamie a d*ck in 2020, Jaden said, ‘Looking back, I regret saying all kinds of things. I really feel bad. Preston and I feel bad. We want to see him. I want to see him, sit with him next to the piano, talk about my future.’ The previous year, Federline took out a restraining order against his former father-in-law following claims of an altercation. In the years since, Britney’s second ex-husband had a change of heart and revealed that he believed Jamie ‘really cares about his family’ and the sentiment is one his sons echo, despite having been critical towards him in the past. Following the release of the documentary where he and Britney’s sons explored the singer, Federline proceeded with him posting videos of Britney arguing with her sons, taken by her sons without her knowledge, to make her look like the ‘bad guy’. He’s since deleted both videos, but only because he could’ve faced legal actions due to the fact that those videos that he posted were filmed and posted without Britney’s consent. Federline captioned one video with ‘That’s not even the worst of it.’ I watched both videos, and it only showed Britney parenting her sons the way any good mother should. If anything, I took notes on how to parent my own son through the videos. In one video, Britney was seen scolding her son for not wearing his shoes, or exposing his feet in public. I’d have the EXACT same reaction! But what really mattered in the videos was Britney saying to the boys, ‘You all need to start treating me like a woman with worth. I am a woman, ok? Be nice to me. Do you understand?’

All Britney wanted was to be respected – by her family, friends, colleagues, employees, the media, and the public. But that was the one thing in her life that she wasn’t given. This was what landed her in the conservatorship in the first place. The media often controlled the narrative around Spears’s personal struggles, which resulted in a lack of empathy and understanding. When I think of Britney and the media scrutiny she’d endured, I immediately think of the pictures published of her crying inside a restaurant while holding her son. Those photos were from 2006. She was 25 years old, two months pregnant, and a new mom. All she wanted was to hide out in a restaurant and feel safe. She was pleading for help, but no one did. Instead, they laughed. There’s one photo from that day where Britney is holding her son, then 8 months old, and he kisses her nose.

That particular photo is heartbreaking. Then there’s a photo from the same day where she was trying to get away from the paparazzi, and she almost dropped her son while she ran and almost fell she m had cameras flash in her eyes. It happened before she got to the restaurant. I didn’t realize any of this at the time. I was probably part of society that made it problematic and judged Britney as a woman and a mother. I only understood the real meaning and complexity of what Britney must’ve gone through at the time when I became a mother myself. Britney didn’t receive any type of respect for her dignity. Not as a mother. Not as a woman. Not as a human. I get that she’s a pop star, and that this type of scrutiny just comes with the territory. Nevertheless, all I want to do when I see those particular pictures is hug Britney. She was founded by a total of 321 photographers. She went in to the restaurant asking the owner for help. The owner didn’t help her, and photographers continued on taking photos of a vulnerable young new pregnant mom crying in despair while still holding her baby. In fact, the owner of the restaurant laughed at her, and along with the paparazzi, also took photos of her.

The media was never kind to Britney. It often sexualized her and mocked her; embarrassing her and making her feel less than at every chance they got. With that in mind, her musical craft and vocal creativity were overshadowed by the scrutiny she faced. The media often focused on her physical appearance and sexuality, causing her to be criticized for being a role model. At age 16, reporters asked her about her sexuality and whether ‘she’d done the deed’. But for Britney, the breaking point was her 2003 interview with Diane Sawyer. During the interview. journalist confronted Britney about her then-recent breakup with Justin Timberlake, as well as whether the pop star was behaving in a way to be a good role model for children. In fact, the line of questioning brought the then 21-year-old to tears in her own home. In her 2023 memoir, ‘The Woman In Me’, Spears wrote, ‘I’d often retreated to my apartment to be alone. I wasn’t told what the questions would be ahead of time, and it turned out they were 100 percent embarrassing. I was too vulnerable then, too sensitive, to do this type of interview. I didn’t want to share anything private with the world. I didn’t owe the media details of my breakup. I shouldn’t have been forced to speak on national TV, forced to cry in front of a stranger, a woman who was relentlessly going after me with harsh question after harsh question. I felt like I had been exploited, set up in front of the whole world. That interview was a breaking point for me internally—a switch had been flipped. I honestly feel like that moment in my life should have been a time for growing—and not sharing everything with the world. But I had no choice. It seemed like nobody really cared how I felt.’

No millennial out there could ever forget Justin Timberlake’s ‘I broke up with Britney tour’. It was 2002. Justin and Britney broke up after 4 years together. Justin broke free of NSYNC and started a solo career. His first single, ‘Cry Me A River’, was about his relationship and breakup with her, having accused her of cheating. The woman playing Justin’s love interest in the video even looked like Britney. He then went on multiple interviews to heavily vilify Britney in the media at the time, such as Barbara Walter’s 20/20 interview where he chuckled when asked about Britney vow to remain a virgin until marriage. During the same interview, he played ‘Don’t Go (Horrible Woman)’, which was implied to have been about Britney and her being unfaithful to him. He continued to make sloppy remarks towards her and bring her down until at least at least 2018. This included calling her a Madonna wannabe, poking fun at her 2007 meltdown, and making crude comments about her sex life. Following the release of Britney’s memoir, which included revelations about him, such as that he cheated on her numerous times before she ever did, as well as her having an abortion while in a relationship with him because he didn’t want to be a father, Justin released a statement that read, ‘In recent years, Justin has tried to be supportive of Britney from a distance. They dated so long ago, but he still has respect for her. Justin and Jessica [Biel, Justin’s wife] just want everyone to grow and evolve instead of continuing to bring up the past.’ This did NOT go well for him, as he was called out for his double standard. A TikTok user made a compilation video of Justin’s past public treatment of Britney with the caption, ‘He’s been bringing up the past for the last 20 years nonstop, exploiting a young woman whom he forced to get an abortion, mocking her in every chance he got.’ Another user wrote, ‘He’s talking about her letting the past go, but he’s been the one bringing it back up over the years just to humiliate her.’ Another person wrote, ‘In the end he is asking that he not be judged for his past with her when he spent years making money at the expense of what he lived with her.’ And finally, ‘Honestly, Britney Spears was probably the most interesting thing about his life… so that’s really a flex on her. 😘 👑’

And if you’re a millennial reading this, you probably remember that iconic 2003 moment when Madonna and Britney kissed on the lips during their performance, which was accompanied by Christina Aguilera, at the MTV Video Music Awards. I do. I was squealing so hard with excitement. But then, the camera turned to Justin looking down and out, almost as though he was disappointed. Why? Why take away the moment from a woman and put the attention on a man who didn’t respect her? The attention had always been on him because he’d made himself look like a victim, and all he’d done throughout his career was monetize their breakup, more so than his actual musical talent. I actually went to one of his concerts when he was on tour. My husband surprised me with tickets for Valentine’s Day. He wasn’t bad. He was engaging when he wasn’t commenting on Britney. Now, looking back, I regret attending the concert. I regret supporting someone like him in the first place. Aguilera was also part of the problem as she, along with Justin, mocked Britney when they headlined their joint tour in 2003. Madonna went on to collaborate with both Britney and Justin. Britney in 2003; Justin in 2008.

The year 2007 was unforgettable, to say the least – both for Britney and the general public. For Britney, however, in the worst way possible. She came back to the MTV Video Music Awards to perform her then-newest hit single, ‘Gimmie More’. The performance was widely panned by fans and media, with some criticizing her lack of energy and her seeming lack of connection with the music and choreography. The performance, which was meant to mark her comeback after a year of personal troubles, instead became a defining moment of her struggles. It became a source of mockery for years thereafter. Shows like ‘Glee’ made an entire episode dedicated to not only Britney’s performance, but her entire mental breakdown of that time. In 2021, a video of her rehearsal, where she performed absolutely flawlessly, leaked online, further emphasizing the stark contrast with her live performance. Spears’ memoir revealed a personal struggle, stating she experienced a panic attack before the performance, and she claimed everything was going wrong backstage that night. She also revealed she had an awkward encounter with Timberlake before the performance, which affected her emotionally. I’d like to also point out that the actual televised performance was heavily edited to make her look like absolute sh*t. It also showed other celebrities like Diddy and Rihanna laughing uncontrollably at her expense. Were we all really that delusional?

Britney’s sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, who starred in the Nickelodeon hit series ‘Zoey 101’ between 2005 and 2008, seemed to have sided with Timberlake. Some years ago, she even posted a photo of the two with Britney on Instagram, and they’d reunited a few times in public in the years since that infamous 2002 breakup. In 2021, Britney and Jamie Lynn were involved in a highly publicized feud on social media. Britney publicly accused Jamie Lynn of actively and knowingly being involved in her conservatorship, while not making any efforts to help her terminate it. Jamie Lynn, in turn, denied the allegations and maintained that she wasn’t aware of the details of the conservatorship. Britney threatened legal action against Jamie Lynn after the latter spoke extensively about Britney in both her book and the following promotional tour. Britney went as far as sending Jamie Lynn a cease-and-decease letter before Jamie Lynn went on her book tour.

And though Jamie Lynn didn’t support Britney, Jamie Lynn’s former ‘Zoey 101’ cast mates did, particularly Alexa Nikolas and Paul Butcher. Nikolas played Nicole on ‘Zoey 101’ for the first two seasons, but quit due to her and Jamie Lynn not getting along (that’s a light way of putting it). Nikolas shared her experience of Britney Spears yelling at her on set, which she described as devastating’, after Jamie Lynn accused her of bullying, which wasn’t true at all. She later revealed that Britney apologized for the incident. And in light of the #FreeBritney movement, Paul Butcher, who played Jamie Lynn’s younger brother, Dustin, on the show, posted on Instagram, ‘It breaks my heart hearing what Britney had to say and hearing what she’s been through. From someone who’s known her first hand, I used to be in awe and look up to her as a kid in pure wonder. She always had the kindest heart and has always had a magic about her, a light. That magic deserves to be free to enjoy this world and truly shimmer like she always has. My prayer is that she gets to live the life SHE wants to live. Sending you love and hoping for a brighter future for you.’ And it was actually his support of Britney that made him decide not to reprise his role as Dustin in the ‘Zoey 102’ movie.

And following the release of Kevin Federline’s Instagram videos of Britney scolding their kids, celebrities like Jennifer Lopez and Nicki Minaj showed their support. Minaj, in particular wrote, ‘Do you understand what kind of a clown you have to be to be a whole grown fucking man and as soon as you see somebody happy and getting married and moving on and being free and feeling good in their own skin, to do the very thing that you know is going to attempt to break them down? Going to the media. Only cowards use the media against a famous person who they once loved, they procreated with, they’re being taken care of by, they once were being taken care of by, using the person’s fame as this constant ‘gotcha’ moment… And you think you not gonna have fucking karma from it? You think it’s OK? You think that anybody is gonna feel sorry for you? How dare you. How dare you encourage this woman’s children to be a part of your nonsense? When they look back, they’re going to be like, ‘Why? Why? Why? Why did we do this?’ They’re kids. They don’t know how detrimental this is. Leave her the f*ck alone.’

Strangers treated Britney than those who claimed to have loved and cared about her; those that were supposed to protect her, and instead, exploited her. I mentioned before that that’s with the exception of her third ex-husband, Sam Asghari, because I do truly believe that he genuinely cared about her and wanted what was best for her. She had people laugh at her, mock her, lie to her, betray her, belittle her, berate her….you name it. She was punished. She was punished for being a woman. She was punished for being a successful woman. She was punished for being a talented woman. She was punished for being vulnerable. She was punished for struggling with mental health. She was punished for struggling with postpartum.

I want to add to Britney’s postpartum era. I probably shouldn’t be calling it ‘era’ as it’s not something to be celebrated. What is to be celebrated, however, is the fact that she survived it and came out of it alive. The one person that was there for her during that period of her life was Paris Hilton. Paris was even seen helping Britney take care of the kids in the 2000’s. They were also seen doing such things as clubbing and posing together at Ted carpets. They were the ones that ‘invented’ the selfie in 2006. Though Paris invented the phrase, she didn’t actually invent it. Robert Cornelius took a picture back in 1839 that has now been cited as the first selfie. Then, gentlemen held up a box camera in the familiar selfie position in 1920, then in a 1934 photo, a Swedish couple named Helmer and Naemi Larrson appeared to be using a selfie stick-like apparatus to take a photo. Nevertheless, Britney and Paris’ 2006 selfie was…iconic. Also in 2006, a photo of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan together in a car became a tabloid sensation, leading to them being dubbed the ‘Holy Trinity’ of late 2000’s pop culture. 

They seemed like such an unlikely duo. And yet, they stood the test of time. Paris was one of the 60 guests who attended Britney’s 2022 wedding to Sam Asghari. Paris also supported Britney when her memoir came out in 2023, and revealed that she was deeply touched by what Spears wrote about her in the memoir, which described her as one of the people who was kindest to me when I really needed kindness’. In 2020, Parks opened up to Andy Cohen of her longstanding friendship with Britney, as well as her thoughts on the conservatorship she was under at the time. She said, ‘I saw her this summer. We’ve had dinners, I saw her in Malibu. I just love her so much. She is so sweet and so innocent and such a nice girl. We just talk about happy things. Music, fashion… fun things. I never like to bring up negative things and make people feel uncomfortable so I’ve never talked about [the conservatorship] with her. I feel like if you are an adult you should be able to live your life and not be controlled. I think that maybe stems from me being controlled so much so I can understand how that would feel and I can’t imagine right now if that was still happening to me. After just working your whole life and working so hard, she’s this icon and I just feel like she has no control of her life whatsoever and I just don’t think that’s fair.’

I know I described Britney’s friendship with Paris Hilton as ‘unlikely’. That was then. This is now. Now, their friendship makes perfect sense. Paris was the only one who had absolutely nothing to gain out of her friendship with Britney. She already had the money. She already had the fame. She already had the lavish lifestyle. Paris was, indeed the only one who was there for Britney. She was the only one who was there for her without an agenda up her sleeve. Specifically in ‘The Woman In Me’, Britney mentioned Paris’ support during her postpartum depression after her divorce from Kevin Federline. Britney described Paris as one of the people who was kindest to me when I really needed kindness.’ She also said that Paris encouraged her to have fun again during that time. Paris, in turn, expressed her support of Britney, stating that she ‘stands by her and roots for her as she turns pain into purpose, her unwavering spirit stronger than ever’. Most recently, Paris gave an update to fans on her friendship with Britney, and said that stated that she and Britney’s friendship is still going strong, with Britney visiting Paris’ home to spend time with her children. 

With Paris, as well as Sam Asghari, aside, absolutely no one was there for Britney. She was taken advantage of – before, during, and after the conservatorship. As I watched that infamous Diane Sawyer interview, all that was going through my head was me asking myself, ‘Where the f*ck was Britney’s team?!’ They allowed the disrespect. They allowed the belittling. They allowed the engagement. In fact, they wanted all that. They were hoping for all of it to happen. On the contrary, Paris Hilton walked out of her 2011 interview with ABC as host Dan Harris her stalker, career and personal struggles which had nothing to do with what she was there to promote. Her team was actually heard telling her to end the interview and leave as soon as they saw how uncomfortable she was. And so, I think it’s vital to understand why exactly strangers are there for you and treat you better than those that claim to love and care for you. Reasons for this can include:

• Less Emotional Baggage: Interactions with strangers are often brief and transactional, meaning there’s less emotional weight and potentially less history to deal with. 
• Lower Expectations: We may have higher expectations of loved ones, leading to increased disappointment and frustration when they don’t meet those expectations. 
• Easier to be Kind: Being kind to a stranger can feel simple and direct, offering compassion without entanglement or expectation, while interactions with loved ones are often more complex and nuanced. 
• Tolerance for Negative Qualities: Over time, our tolerance for negative qualities of those we spend the most time with might diminish, while we might be more forgiving of strangers. 
• Reduced Fear of Judgment: Sometimes it’s easier to be vulnerable with someone you don’t know because there is less of a fear of judgment 
• Sense of Distance: The lack of a deep connection can sometimes create a sense of distance, allowing for easier social interactions and more relaxed interactions. 

Recently, Britney was seen spending time with her son Jayden James, but not Sean Preston. This would come as something to celebrate under normal circumstances. But in Britney’s case, it makes one question – WHY? What is the real purpose of her kids suddenly wanting to reunite? Is it because they’re both now of age their father isn’t getting child support? The timing is what makes everything in this case become a question of mark. It’s a sad reality because literally EVERYTHING Britney had done since 2008, was for her kids. When she was honored by Radio Disney Music Awards with their first ever Icon Award in 2017, Britney dedicated the ward to her kids. In her acceptance speech, she said, ‘What a pleasant surprise, my goodness. This is such an honor. I want to thank Radio Disney so much for giving me their first ever Icon Award… your support throughout my career has meant so much to me, all of my fans, as always, you are the freakin’ best. My two loves of my life, my sons Jaden and Preston, you’re the reason my heart beats. I love you so much.’

It’s just sad. It’s sad that everyone was against Britney. It’s sad that everyone even turned her own kids – the reason her heart beats – against her. She did everything for them. She did everything she was told to do in the conservatorship because she was always told that if she didn’t, she’d lose her kids. She made a sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice, and her kids just don’t get that. Maybe it’s because they’re still young and naive. Maybe in time they will understand that everything she did, she did for them. For now, it just doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s no surprise, really, as they have someone like Kevin Federline as their father. I only realize the real severity of Britney’s situation and everything she had to endure at the hands of her father when I became a mother myself. He used Britney’s kids as a weapon. He used her postpartum vulnerability as a weapon. Anyone who thinks of him as a loving father who just wanted to do right by his daughter should probably be questioned. Sadly, there were too many of those people who did, because they had something to gain. I hope that soon, her kids will be able to see in their mother not what those who betrayed her see in her, but rather what all of us, the fans, saw in her since the 90’s.