Francesca Farago: A Deep Exploration On Why Her Sharing Her Story And Family Life With Jesse Sullivan Is So Important – And Why We Need To Ask Ourselves Whether Or Not Love Is Homophobic And Transphobic

Francesca Farago got her big break in the public eye when she appeared in the very first season of ‘Too Hot To Handle’ in 2020. While there, she became a romantic partner figure with fellow contestant Harry Jowsey. The two had a whirlwind on-and-off romance for about two years, which ended mostly because the Covid-19 pandemic caused them to become a long-distance couple for much longer than they anticipated, which they couldn’t handle. Francesca then made an appearance on ‘Love Is Blind’ season 1 After The Alter segment. She was invited to the reunion by Damian Powers, who was engaged to Giannina Gibelli. Damian initially left Giannina at the alter, but they’d decided to continue their relationship thereafter.

Damian invited Francesca to their 2 year anniversary of what would’ve been their wedding without discussing it with Giannina to begin with, and had met up with Francesca behind Giannina’s back. While Giannina could handle Damian’s budding friendship with Francesca, she couldn’t handle Francesca being invited to the anniversary celebration. And with that, she broke things off with Damian – for good. Since then, Giannina has moved on and is now engaged to Blake Horstmann. They also welcomed a baby in 2024. Following their time on ‘After The Alter’, Damian and Francesca went on to star together on ‘Perfect Match’, another reality dating show developed by Netflix.

It’s safe to say that the situation that was unfolded between Giannina, Damian and Francesca was messy. It got out of hand. At the reunion that was meant to celebrate the love thaDamian shared with his would-be-brief, Giannina told Francesca to stay away from Damian and walked away. Francesca later told Damian he wasn’t completely honest with her as she had no idea how serious he was with Giannina. He went back to talk things through with Giannina, who was in tears over the situation. But it was too late, and the betrayal was too much for Giannina to handle.

Francesca initially had a connection with Dom, but left him for Damian as soon as he came on board, with Dom feeling blindsided by the events that had happened. Dom later said in an interview of the ordeal, ‘But I think at the end of the day, you know, me and Francesca had a conversation afterward and it was like, you know, ‘I understand you and him have past. You gotta see that through’. And we have couldn’t have worked if she never did that. She had to see that through.’ It was completely evident that Francesca and Damian had a sexual connection with each other, even when she made a cameo on ‘Love Is Blind’. As a viewer, it was hard to believe that they were ‘just friends’ even then. Unless they’re just both really good actors and know how to peruse drama for the viewer to enjoy, their constant insistence that they were ‘just friends’ was laughable.

While they were on ‘Perfect Match’, a reality dating series that saw two people in a house couple up to win compete challenges for a prize and, in the process, make romantic connections, Francesca and Damian perused their connection, but in an interview with Today, she further proved that it was all a strategy to continue to be in the game. She said, ‘You have to strategize to stay in the house. (You) kind of have to work the playing field and make sure that you stay in the house, honestly. So it’s love, but there was a lot of additional strategy to it as well.’ Her strategy was successful, and she was the one who removed herself from the game rather than being removed because she’d lost. She ended things with Damian for good while there as she questioned if he even knew the real her.

But I’m actually not so interested to talk about Francesca’s relationships that we saw unfold on the shows that she appeared on that made her famous. Instead, I want to talk about the relationship she’s in now, as well as her life and endeavours since her time on reality TV ended. A lot has changed for her since her Netflix days. She’s now engaged, a mother of 2, and a business owner. Since 2021, she’s been in a relationship with TikTok star Jesse Sullivan. The two got engaged in 2023, and in 2024, had twins. But there’s a catch – Jesse is a trans man, and he’s shared his transition story, as well as life thereafter, including his life with Francesca, on social media. In an interview with Variety, Francesca opened up about their relationship and the hate they’d endured. She said, ‘My boyfriend is trans, and he gets death threats on his posts. And he’s just a nice normal dad. He’s so sweet. To have these aspects of public hate from that just proves that the more representation we have, the more positive it will be because people will see that we’re just normal people.’

She later told Today, ‘Couples like us don’t necessarily exist too often in mainstream media. You don’t see a bisexual woman and a trans man starting a family — and having a positive light on it. There are so many new families like us and there will be so many more in the future once people start to fully accept and be themselves, and live their true lives.’ The two have a combined (almost) 7 million followers on Instagram alone. They’ve said that in sharing their story and family life, they will help society to fully accept them and couples like them for simply existing. Francesca said, ‘We just are so regular and we act like everyone else. The world is curious, but in our day-to-day, his identity and my sexuality is not a factor in our relationship.’

In my previous post, I talked heavily about dating as a disabled person, as well as the ableism interabled couples face, even today. Some pointers I could relate to, and others I couldn’t. No matter the case, its prejudice a human faces on a daily basis on a premise of something that can’t be control. A disabled person didn’t ask for their disability. A disabled person can’t control whether or not they’ll have a disability. And no person, disabled or not, can’t control who they fall in love with. You don’t choose love. Love chooses you. The same goes for the LGBTQ+ community. With that said, just as I did in my previous post on disability, I feel it’s important to look at transphobia and homophobia, and the hate they’ve faced then, now, and beyond.

Homophobia is the fear, hatred, or prejudice against lesbian, gay, or bisexual people, while transphobia is the fear, hatred, or prejudice against transgender or gender non-conforming people. Homophobia encompasses negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors directed towards individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. It can range from casual use of derogatory language to aggressive personal attacks and violence. It can can stem from irrational fear, misunderstanding, religious beliefs, societal norms, and cultural biases, which possibly leads to discrimination, harassment, and violence against LGBTQ+ individuals, impacting their mental health, well-being, and safety. Transphobia is the fear, hatred, or prejudice against transgender or gender non-conforming individuals, those who do not conform to traditional gender roles. Similar to homophobia, it manifest as negative attitudes, discrimination, and violence towards transgender people. Like Homophobia, it stems from ignorance, fear, societal norms, and cultural biases, which then leads to severe consequences, including social exclusion, violence, and discrimination, impacting the mental health and well-being of transgender individuals. 

Because Francesca represents sexuality, and Jesse represents transphobia that people like them face every single day, and because they’re together and are now a family unit that involves children, we’re going to be heavily discussing both homophobia and transphobia. Both are equally as important to recognize and put an emphasis on. Recognizing and addressing both homophobia and transphobia is crucial for creating a more inclusive and equitable society where all individuals can live free from discrimination, whether online or in the real world. Both Francesca and Jesse faced hate online too. As Francesca herself told Today in an interview, ‘We can handle the hate. Everything we’ve gone through as a couple has made us so strong that honestly, we’re unbreakable. We work through the hate together. But when other people in the community get it, or when Arlo gets it, it really bothers us, so it’s been really important for us to try and change people’s minds. We get a lot of comments from people saying, like, ‘When I first stumbled on you guys, I thought very negatively, and I apologize for thinking like that. You’ve completely changed my mind. I love your journey. I love your family. I love your animals. I love your relationship with Arlo. And I’m so happy to be here’. People owning the fact that they came into my social media with a negative light, and then are continuing to follow in a positive light.’

In fact, Francesca was first introduced to witnessing unions such as hers at a young age when her aunt first introduced her boyfriend, who was first introduced as her girlfriend the year prior, to the family. She said, ‘I loved my aunt so much and I loved their love. I think that led me to have a level of acceptance in me that I wouldn’t have had if I wasn’t exposed to it that young, which is why I think it’s important for representation in mainstream media. If people learn about it young, they’ll be accepting, like I was when I learned about it at 12.’ And now, they’re trying to raise, as they said in their own words, ‘raise the most badass, caring, loving, well-mannered children that are accepting and loving and will go on to make a difference in whatever community they’re in.’ Jesse also has a 15 year old child from a previous relationship. His child, Arlo, was born female and now goes by they/he pronounce.

Francesca keeps being referred to as a bisexual woman, but she’s actually pansexual. She said so herself on Sofia Franklyn’s podcast, ‘Sofia With An F’, when she appeared as a guest alongside Jesse in 2023. For those of you who don’t know, those that refer to themselves as pansexual are more attracted to the person rather than their gender. It’s more fluid than what’s known as simply gay or lesbian. You’re attracted to the soul, not their body parts. Nevertheless, there’s not much of a need to put a label on it; at least that’s how I view it. I myself am bisexual, but I wouldn’t put an identity on my sexuality, just like I wouldn’t on my disability. I’m just a woman who happens to be disabled and also love women.

How Francesca and Jesse are aiming to raise their children is drastically different than how they were raised themselves. Both were raised in families where they felt they couldn’t express themselves fully. And now, they want to do the opposite for their children and be as accepting as possible. Jesse, particularly, said he’s practiced blank-slate parenting, which involves letting your child have a lot of freedom and reigns to choose for themselves. Francesca, though supportive, has said that she’ll be more strict with their kids, but will be sure to let them know that they’re loved and supported and accepted no matter the circumstances. And I have to say, I’m with Francesca. As much as I’m all for being accepting of my son and showing unconditional love and support no matter what he chooses for his life’s path, everything has to be age appropriate. I want to allow him freedom, but it has to be age appropriate.

Now more than ever before, detransitioning has become more common. This refers to the process of stopping or reversing gender transition, which can involve social, medical, and/or legal changes, and is distinct from the concept of “regret”. It’s the process of reversing or discontinuing a gender transition, which may include changes in social presentation, medical treatments (like hormone therapy), or legal status. Various reasons might be a factor in the decision to detransition, including a shift in gender identity, health concerns, social or economic pressures, discrimination, stigma, political beliefs, or religious beliefs. The process can involve stopping hormone therapy, reversing surgeries, or changing legal documents to reflect the individual’s previous gender. 

And I’m not saying this as a way to judge Jesse, his child, or the way he chooses to live his life. I’m saying this as a means of how I choose to raise my own son, alongside my husband of course. If my son ever comes out to me and tells me he wants to transition, I’d support him and tell him that he can express himself in any way he chooses. But I’d also tell him that I won’t allow him to go through any surgical procedure until the age of 25. I’d also have a ‘contract’ written down to show me when he reached that ahead of time and still wanted to go ahead with the surgical procedures. At the end of the day, supporting your child through gender identity involves creating a safe and affirming environment, listening to their needs, using their preferred name and pronouns, and advocating for their rights and well-being, while also seeking resources and support for yourself. With that said, as a parent, I think it’s fundamentally so crucial to get to know and understand when the right time is for the child to fully transition. I’m all for doing such things as listening without judgment, validate my child’s feelings, and assure my love for him. My boundary, however, comes to following their lead. This will come when he’s emotionally mature and when his brain as at full capability and capability to make well-adjusted decisions as an adult.

I’d also like to add that many parents are now being tricked by medical professionals to agree for their children to undergo gender reassignment. Elon Musk, who has a transgender daughter, Vivian Wilson, has openly spoken out against gender reassignment surgeries. In an interview with psychologist and conservative commentator Jordan Peterson, Musk said, ‘I was essentially tricked into signing documents for one of my older boys. This was really before I had any understanding of what was going on, and we had COVID going on, so there was a lot of confusion and I was told (Musk’s child) might commit suicide. I was tricked into doing this. I lost my son, essentially. They call it ‘deadnaming’ for a reason. The reason they call it ‘deadnaming’ is because your son is dead. I vowed to destroy the woke mind virus after that. And we’re making some progress.’

For context, this was in response to a study that claimed people who underwent gender-affirming surgeries faced higher rates of depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and substance use disorders compared to those who did not undergo such procedures. He and his transgender daughter are estranged, and she even only found out of the births of her 2 newest half-siblings online with the rest of the world. In the interview with Peterson, Musk referred to Vivian by her birth name, a practice considered offensive in the transgender community. He’d gone as far as saying that Vivian wasn’t a girl. I find Musk’s approach ‘a little’ extreme, but I do agree that parents shouldn’t allow their young children to go through gender reassignment procedures before they’re of legal age, and even before 25 years of age. Even Jesse Sullivan himself went through gender reassignment at the age of 25. He probably would’ve done it sooner had he had his family’s support. But nevertheless, he did it no sooner than when his brain was fully developed.

In doing my research on Francesca, I watched some of the podcast interviews she’d done in the past, including one she’d done with Sofia Franklyn, Jason Tartick, and Nick Viall. I must admit, I was utterly surprised at how savvy and down-to-earth she presented herself to be. But I guess that just comes with stereotyping reality stars – at least in the millennial era. She actually didn’t start as a reality star. She started as an influencer at the age of 18, and she started it as a F*ck You to her ex-boyfriend who broke her heart. She began making money and turning her social media status as a career, slowly but surely, and it was thanks to that social media following that she was approached by Netflix to take part in ‘Too Hot To Handle’, which came out in 2020 in the midst of the pandemic. She initially took part in the reality series to genuinely fall in love, but once she came there, she saw an opportunity to make more out of it. As she practically indirectly said herself, she was the one who made the show. She strategically stirred up drama because no one else would, and with that, made the show what it’s become. I watched her season, and to be honest, she’s the one and only thing I remember about the show itself. Her ex is even forgettable. Unlike her, he came on the show solely to find fame and fortune. He did, but not on the same level as Francesca.

And of course, the contestants who were with Francesca on ‘Too Hot To Handle’ liked her because they were jealous of the success that came to her thereafter. But reality TV wasn’t what got her to the level of fame that followed. Instead, it was her business-like mindset that got her to the place she’s at today when it comes down to her level of success compared to her peers. Even when she was made out to look as the villain on ‘Love Is Blind’ and especially on ‘Perfect Match’, she still took it with pride and turned into a business opportunity. Even she called her time on ‘The Perfect Match’ strategic as a means to stay in the competition and on the show longer. Does it make her a fake? Absolutely not. It makes her a great entrepreneur. More so, she turned her fame into a profitable business empire, expanding her wealth through her swimwear line, social media presence, and public engagements. Pointers include:

• Entrepreneurial Spirit: After gaining fame on reality shows like ‘Too Hot to Handle’ and ‘Perfect Match’, Francesca transitioned into entrepreneurship by launching her own swimwear and clothing line, Farago the Label.
• Ethical and Sustainable Focus: Farago the Label is known for its commitment to sustainability and environmental consciousness, using ethically sourced fabrics and promoting body positivity. 
• Social Media Influence: Francesca has a significant following on platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, which she uses to promote her brand and collaborate with various companies. 
• Brand Building: She has successfully built a brand that resonates with her audience, combining her passion for fashion with her entrepreneurial drive. She’s used her own money and owns 100% share of the business.
• Business Acumen: Her ability to identify a market need (sustainable swimwear) and create a brand that caters to that need showcases her business acumen. 
• Content Creation: Francesca uses her social media presence to create engaging content, which helps to build brand awareness and drive sales for Farago the Label.
• Versatility: She has proven her ability to be successful in both the entertainment and business worlds, showcasing her versatility. 

I can honestly and truthfully say I underestimated Francesca strength and capabilities. I’m not ashamed to say that I was 100% judgemental. And not just towards her as an individual, but towards her relationship with Jesse as well. At the end of season 1 of ‘Perfect March’ Francesca said while giggling that she’d text an ex, and that’s exactly what she did – with Jesse. I laughed because she seemed to me like a woman that got around the block. And then I laughed even more when I realized that Jesse was actually a trans man. I didn’t follow her career thereafter. I didn’t care. I wrongfully thought of her as the character she portrayed on both ‘Too Hot To Handle’ and ‘Perfect Match’. But that just proved how good she is and how deserving she is of everything that she’s got.

I remember a post of hers randomly came up on my feed where Francesca announced her engagement on Instagram. I don’t know why it came up. It wasn’t like I ever engaged with any other Netflix reality stars on the platform. I didn’t even search any of their profiles to begin with. Nevertheless, I was intrigued, so I started following their story. I loved their openness. It was refreshing to see. To me, they seemed like any other couple you see on the streets. But of course, that wasn’t what the entire world thought of them as a couple, or of couples like them. That’s not, by any means, to say that I agreed with everything they had to say about themselves. I did have critics.

In November, Francesca and Jesse welcomed their twins. They, of course, used IVF to conceive them. And just like anything else, they openly shared their entire process, including their loss. In conceiving the embryos, they used both Francesca and Jesse‘s eggs, as well as Arlo’s biological father’s sperm. While he and Francesca were going through IVF, Jesse posted a photo of himself injecting himself for the egg retrieval process. He captioned the photo, ‘Real men do IVF.’ As much as I’m a supporter of Francesca, Jesse, and their relationship, I just thought that particular post was a real slap in the face, especially as someone who’d gone through IVF. Let me be clear; men aren’t the ones who go through IVF. Women do. Let’s not confuse this. Men’s role in the entire process is vital, of course, but men don’t go through the actual process. The fact that Jesse went through IVF didn’t make him less of a man, psychologically at least. But, as a woman, I didn’t appreciate him promoting masculinity in such a way. My support for the couple didn’t fade, however. I was rooting for Jesse and Francesca during their IVF process and pregnancy. I was especially rooting for Francesca as I resonated with her story as someone who’d also gone through IVF, loss, and pregnancy.

Following the birth of their fraternal twins, Jesse alleged that he was discriminated against while filling out paperwork to obtain the newborns’ birth certificate. He claimed that the questions he was asked about his and Francesca’s decision to welcome their babies via IVF and a third-party sperm donor were discriminatory. It’s such a shame that, even in 2025, we live in such a judgemental world where anything that’s outside of one’s home or comfort zone is deemed unacceptable. The beauty of having Francesca and Jesse advocate for their family on social media is that they challenge the notion that the life they share together isn’t normal. The normalization of the non-traditional family…it’s a MUST. I can’t emphasize enough on how important it is for our generation, and the generations after us to do so.

It would be completely hypocritical of me not to support Francesca and Jesse’s non-traditional family. I myself have a non-traditional family that’s outside the norm. Who am I to judge their family and the way they live their lives? In fact, who’s anyone to judge them to begin with? There is no normal anymore. There’s no right or wrong way of living. There’s no right or wrong way to raise children. None of us have to agree with what people choose for themselves. We just have to respect them. We don’t even have to go out of our ways to show kindness. We just have to let them f*cking be. Francesca and Jesse sharing their story into promote their life and tell people like them what to do. Instead, it’s to advocate for themselves and show the world that they’re actually no different than anyone else. That’s it. That’s the tea…