WHAT A COMPANY CULTURE THAT SUPPORTS AND PROTECTS WOMEN LOOKS LIKE

Johnnie and Chris from ‘Love Is Blind’ were a confusing mess. But they were intriguing to watch, and watching it wasn’t a complete waste. This latest season of ‘Love Is Blind’ was a mess. All 5 seasons of the show were messy, but this past season was messy on a whole other level. This season, we saw a love triangle, two people previously knowing each other, a broken engagement, abuse, and with all that being said, a wedding.

We didn’t see abuse directly shown on the show, but we certainly know it happened. know that there’s a lot of footage that doesn’t make the cut and isn’t shown due to timing. There were numerous couples throughout the seasons that got engaged, but their story-lines weren’t included and we didn’t even know they existed until after their seasons were aired. Nevertheless, they all had nice things to say about each other even if they’d already broken up since filming. What’s said about the show itself and its production is a whole other story.

Many of the constants, past and present, and even those that are still married to this day, slammed the show and its producers for their working conditions and treatment. To make matters worse, the show and its production had been sued by numerous previous contestants. Nick and Danielle, who got married in season 2 and then divorced, did an entire two part podcast episode chronicling their entire experience on ‘Love Is Blind’ – the before, the during and the ugly. I watched the entire two hour episode, and the best way to describe it would be…. atrocious. Season 1’s Amber, who’s married to Barnett, had nothing nice to say about the show either as she told a fan she was married DESPITE the show, not because of it. And yet, a couple from season 3, Alexa and Brennon, who are still married to this day, has declared that every single person should come on ‘Love Is Blind’ because they had such a good experience on the show.

Season 5 of ‘Love Is Blind’ wasn’t without its drama, and I mean behind-the-scenes drama. First, we learned that there was another lawsuit that the production team was presented with from a contestant who wasn’t shown on camera in the final cut. The lawsuit is currently ongoing, and the production team is being sued for things like abuse and sexual assault. Renee, who was another contestant in season 5, confirmed in interviews she’d done since the entire show aired that everything that was in the lawsuit was, in fact, true. And speaking of Renee….

Renee was another contestant on the show whose story-line didn’t make the final cut. But unlike the rest, she and her fiance, Carter, actually got through the entire process, going from the pods all the way to the alter. We got glimpses of her in Mexico at the infamous BBQ scene, where she was clearly wearing her engagement ring, as well as the dress fitting dress, where she was credited as a main contestant’s friend, but we also saw her family there with her.

It was very obvious that those behind the show had something to hide, Renee confirmed that when she did an interview with Natalie and Deepti, two previous ‘Love Is Blind’ contestants from season 2, for their podcast, ‘Out of the Pods.’ Renee told Deeptie and Natalie that producers called her two months before the show began airing and told her that her story wouldn’t be aired due to, just as always, timing as the season was cut down from 12 episodes to 10. The producers might’ve had something to hide as season 1 of the show also had 10 episodes and still managed to show 5 couples instead of the 3 that were shown to have gotten engaged and move on to Mexico.

In fact, Renee says that the lawsuit producers were faced with by her season’s co-star might’ve had something to do with her story-line being cut entirely. You see, Renee, too, was a victim of abuse and sexual assault during filming of the show, and producers did nothing to stop it. On the contrary, they allowed it to continue and even pushed for it to be continued. Renee opened up to the two alumni ‘Love Is Blind’ .

The lying and the deceiving started right in the pods. Carter was always avoiding the important questions that needed to be answered before an engagement. Renee fell hard in love for the person that she was presented with in the pods and went along with saying ‘yes’ to his proposal. When they got to Mexico, however, things just got worse and worse by the minute. Not only was Carter unemployed, which was something Renee already knew of from their dates in the pods and agreed with him he’s get a job in the weeks leading up to their marriage, but Renee later found out that Carter had no credit card, no credit, and had -$500 in his bank account. To top it all off, Carter’s phone was shut of, and he had the audacity to ask Milton, another ‘Love Is Blind’ contestant to pay for his phone bill.

Carter had serious anger issues where he threatened a camera crew member when he and Renee were asked to film a shower scene, and then another time when he and Renee were on their way to Huston, where they were filming, and was asked to put a face mask at the airport. Once they got back to Huston and started living together, carter didn’t get any better. He continued to lie and deceit as he wasn’t doing anything he promised Renee that he’d do. He wasn’t looking for a job, and all he did while he and Renee were living together was party, drink, and fish. He had one job interview, but when Renee came home, she found Carter asleep and the apartment covered in trash.

Renee knew that she didn’t want to marry Carter, and begged the production team to allow her to stop filming and to let her go home. But they still encouraged her stay, give him a chance and to try harder to make the relationship work. And even after she and Carter got into a fight at the infamous BBQ and told her to ‘shut the f*ck up’, production still encouraged her to stay. During her interview with Natalie and Deepti, Renee theorized that it was probably because there were only two other engaged couples left for them to film that she wasn’t allowed to leave, the alumni members denied her theory as they confirmed women weren’t allowed to leave production in previous seasons either even though they begged to.

As a compromise, Renee agreed to film on the condition that wouldn’t be left with Carter alone. Production agreed, but still left her alone with Carter for an entire day when it was inconvenient for them to keep her safe. The night before the big day, Carter went as far as calling Renee names such as trashy” and a “THOT” (“that ho over there”) and said that he wanted to marry someone like his mother. Carter continued, saying that no other men in the pods wanted her, and he allegedly said, “Look at your body. You think you’re hot?”

It was very sad for me to listen to the interview. It triggered me. It brought back so many bad memories for me. But I was so happy to hear that Renee got out of that situation and is now happy and healthy, and is even married to someone else. Despite her traumatic experience, which didn’t happen that long ago in trauma healing years, she seemed very happy with how things turned around for her. The one thing that was interesting for me to hear from Renee was that she wished her story-line had aired. On one hand, it would’ve triggered her, but on the other, it would’ve shed more light on what abuse in a relationship looks like, and that’s something that’s very important to spread awareness on.

It’s not surprising, though, that the producers of ‘Love Is Blind’ decided to cut the story-line altogether. They have ongoing lawsuits filed against them, and airing that story-line would’ve been proof enough for them to lose. Renee’s story, as well as others who opened up about their experiences in taking part and participating in ‘Love Is Blind’ made me think and reflect on how companies handle sexual assault in the workplace. You might say to yourselves that being a contestant on ‘Love Is Blind’ is anything but work. But let’s be real here; it’s way worse! And with that being said, I wouldn’t be surprised if season 5 of the show ends up being their last.

I got the first glimpse of what such workplace ‘drama’ can look like when I worked as a receptionist at the Jewish Community Centre in Toronto when I was 18 years old, a high school student who was just about to graduate and go off to college. It was the second serious job I ever had. I was young and somewhat naive about the outside world of adulthood. Luckily, though, I had some of the best co-workers that I could’ve ever asked for. They were patient with me and they supported me at the first sight of me needing their aid. That included such things as handling disabled customers and, yes, potential sexual advances.

There was one instance during my time at the Jewish Community Centre where I felt uncomfortable by the presence of a longtime customer of theirs. I was left alone at the reception desk for the very first time, which was a very big deal. I was trusted enough to be left alone and be the face of such a big entity. I was the first person people saw when they came in there. And on that very first time of me being alone at the reception desk, that longtime customer came up to the reception desk and asked me if I’d come over to his place.

A co-worker of mine that I worked closely with witnessed the entire ordeal. It wasn’t even a big deal. He invited me and I declined his invitation and advances. I decided for myself to forget it even happened. But my co-worker decided otherwise and reported that longtime customer to upper management. I was called in for a meeting with me. I completely blocked out what had previously happened to the point that I thought I was called in for a meeting to get fired. On the contrary, I was asked about what had happened with the customer in question. My co-worker had reported that the longtime, well-known customer in question made inappropriate advances towards me and made me uncomfortable. I confirmed that that was exactly what had happened, but I also added that I understood that he was old and lonely, and that I just didn’t know what to do or what to tell him at that exact moment. As soon as I said that, upper management left the room, practically ran to the main lobby where the customer was sitting. The customer was told that if they hear of any more complaints that he made such advances towards me again, he’d be banned from ever being allowed to be present at the BJCC (Jewish Community Centre).

At that very moment, I felt protected. It made me feel hopeful about the workforce. I was excited to be a part of it, and I thought all companies and their cultures were the same as what I witnessed when I was an 18 year old blossoming teenager. That was the sweet, naive, and innocent girl in me. I had already been raped when the situation happened, so I guess I wanted to believe; believe in the good; believe in humanity. Disabled women like me are more likely to be victims of sexual assault than able-bodied ones. With the exception of my experience at the BJCC, I personally never experienced any type of sexual assault in the workplace. But I did hear of people I know who I call friends that DID go through very traumatic experiences. One of friends worked at a company where she was objectified. Every day was a sh*t show for her at work. Every day there was some sort of sexual assault that experienced by a man, and absolutely nothing was done by upper management. Eventually, my friend had to quit her job altogether.

Renee’s experience working for ‘Love Is Blind’ reminded me of company my friend working at her her previous workplace. Sexual assault in the workplace shouldn’t be an acceptable condition in the workplace. This isn’t the 1950’s. Women aren’t objects. Women are people, and that’s exactly how we should be treated in our everyday lives. Sexual assault shouldn’t be objectified, nor should it be glorified, in any shape or form. It doesn’t matter if it’s a huge company such as ‘Love Is Blind’ or a small business like the company my friend worked at. I wish all companies had the company culture that BJCC had. In any case, and I can’t say it enough, every company and every person who’s in upper management, as well as everyone else who’s a full-time employee, should learn from BJCC’s company culture and adapt to that same culture.