Dove Cameron & Ryan McCartan: The Real Toxicity (And Fakeness) Of The Girl and The Dreamcatcher

Dove Cameron – another Disney alum. She starred in the ‘Descendants’ franchise alongside Cameron Boyce, Sofia Carson, and Booboo Stewart. Cameron Boyce and Sofia Carson were the subject matters of my previous two posts. She also had her own Disney TV series, ‘Live and Maddie’ between 2013 and 2017, where she played twins of the same name as the title. It was there that she met her first ‘love’, Ryan McCartan. You’ll understand why I put quotation marks around the word love. Though she got her big break on Disney, she started her career in 2007 when she appeared in a Broadway production of ‘Les Misérables’. She also appeared in the Broadway musicals, ‘Mamma Mia’ and ‘Clueless: The Musical’.

For a short time, between 2015 and 2016, Dove was part of a singing duo, The Girl and the Dreamcatcher, with her boyfriend at the time, McCartan. In July 2016, they released their EP, ‘Negativity’, with singles including ‘Written In The Stars, ‘Glowing In The Dark’, and ‘Make You Stay.’ The couple became in Engaged in April 2016, but broke things off only 6 months later, just before the election. With that being said, the singing partnership was over and done with as well. Following her split from McCartan, Cameron began dating her ‘Descendants’ co-star, Thomas Dohetry a short time later. The couple broke things off in 2020. As of now, she’s dating Italian singer-songwriter, Damiano David.

Though Cameron’s breakup with Dohetry was amicable, the same couldn’t be said about her breakup with McCartan. Of their split, Cameron told People Magazine in 2019, ‘It was my first ever real relationship, and it was on-screen and off-screen. A lot of what I went through in that first relationship, the very low-lows, I did not make public. I was under the impression that I had to make everything look perfect all the time and my partner definitely put that in my ear. People thought I was sharing loads, but I hardly shared anything.’

As for McCartan, he posted a video on TikTok last year speaking to his audience on a ‘hypothetical’ scenario. He said, ‘I’m not saying any of this happened, but lets say just, for the sake of argument, that someone was on a TV show a long time ago and ended up falling in love with and dating their romantic co-star, who was the lead of the show. Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that this might have happened. Let’s just say, in a hypothetical situation that while these two people were exploring their love, one of some of the producers from the TV show that they were on when they met and started dating, got involved in how or when it was announced that they were dating to boost ratings for the TV show.Let’s pretend that some network executives started making jokes saying it would be more beneficial for them to date their co-star from another project they were starring in for the network, because that would boost ratings for that project, and that’s the one that the network is most interested in promoting at this time. Let’s say that a highly powerful and influential publicist got involved in almost every aspect of their relationship, from the clothes they wore to the places they went, to how long they were there, from the way they styled their hair to the interviews they conducted, to the things they said in those interviews about their relationship. Let’s say that a highly powerful and influential publicist got involved in almost every aspect of their relationship, from the clothes they wore to the places they went, to how long they were there, from the way they styled their hair to the interviews they conducted, to the things they said in those interviews about their relationship.’

It’s safe to say that Dove Cameron and Ryan McCartan aren’t friends. Cameron didn’t say much about the breakup itself, but she said enough to understand how toxic their relationship really was. It certainly wasn’t the sappy love story they portrayed in their music videos in their 3 music videos. Their music video for ‘Make You Stay shows Cameron fighting with her boyfriend and on the verge of a breakup. It showed a somewhat abusive behaviour from the character of her boyfriend. At the very end of the video, Cameron’s character comes to see McCartan’s character, showing a possibility of them liking each other, with a potential for a relationship. In reality, however, Cameron and McCartan ‘s love story was toxic, and it was pretty evident when watching previous promotional interviews they’d conducted as singing partners.

To understand Dove Cameron and Ryan McCartan’s relationship further, it’s important to understand their respective histories before they met, and I can tell you their histories in just a few words. Cameron’s father passed away of suicide, and McCartan is a grooming survivor. That’s more than enough said. Nonetheless, I’ll elaborate on this, at least a little bit. Cameron’s father committed suicide in 2011 when Cameron was just 15 years old. Dove Cameron is actually the actress and singer’s stage name. Dove is the nickname her father called her by. Cameron’s real name is Chloe Celeste Hosterman. She later legally changed her name to Dove. The worst part of it all is that his reasoning behind her father’s suicide was that he was gay, he was afraid his kids wouldn’t have accepted him. But they would’ve; both Cameron and her sister, Claire Hosterman, a vocal coach, said they would’ve.

Cameron has struggled with depression in the years since her father’s passing, and has been very open about them. In an interview with Byrdie last year, Cameron said, ‘I think it’s important just to say this: I’ve had times in my life when I was incredibly suicidal. And I think that needs to be destigmatized. My father [died by] suicide. I’ve spoke about that a lot. Over time, it started feel disempowering. It’s like, “So many things have been done to you, but look at what you did with it!” It’s the pressure to always be okay, to survive it. I was just so tired of the look people gave me when they said how resilient I was.’

Ryan McCartan had his own traumatic story. He was viciously groomed by an older man for years starting at age 12. The man made McCartan believe that they were in a relationship and in love. He initially first shared his story on his TikTok. Then around 4 years ago, he did an interview following a Broadway performance where he opened up about the trauma that followed. First of all, in that interview, he gave an important statistic about abuse in men. He gave a 1 in 6 number, but the interviewer corrected him and said it was 1 in 5 men and 1 in 3 women. The interview itself was very inappropriate. He was expecting to talk about his performance, and only about his performance. Instead the interviewer went straight to talk about his sexual trauma. And when he realized that, his smile faded, and it was heartbreaking to witness how much I related to that expression on his face.

The entire interview was invasive and uncomfortable. It was only at the end that McCartan got the opportunity to actually speak of what he came there to speak of, which is his work. The interviewer said she was a therapists, and everything she’d said was based on her findings. One thing she said shocked me – those that are abused don’t realize that sex actually feels good. ALL I could think when hearing her say that is…. ‘WHAT?!’ How can someone ever tell another person what sex feels like, especially when that another person had gone through sexual trauma? It’s unfair for someone to tell us, sexual abuse victims or survivors that what feel during sexual, or how we feel about sex, is wrong. The interviewer also said that victims of abuse tend to feel like there’s something wrong with them in the aftermath of their trauma.

My sexual trauma is very different than McCartan’s. He was groomed by a man much older than he was when he was a 12 years old. It was a continuous abuse that went on for years. I was raped when I was 18 years old by a friend, or better yet, someone who I thought was my friend. Though these are very different sexual traumas, the aftermath of survival is practically utterly the same. Sex feels good to those individuals who hadn’t experienced some type of sexual assault in their lifetime. Those who don’t should consider themselves lucky enough to never having to go through such trauma. Surviving it is anything but easy. It almost feels impossible.

When you’d gone through such trauma, sex is anything but love making. I’m only speaking for myself here, but all you want to do as a victim of sexual trauma is have sex and hope it feels good. I had a phase where I’d only have one night stands. I kept hoping each time that it’d feel good, or that I’d feel anything for that matter, but I’d be disappointed each time and would move on to the next person; man or woman, it didn’t really matter. And even when I’d finally gotten to my first serious relationship, I still treated him like a one-night stand. I didn’t want to feel his warmth or his love. I didn’t feel that I deserved to feel any of that.

Sexual trauma isn’t just about the sex, though. It’s doesn’t just entail how you view sex, but rather your entire being too. It affects your friendships, your relationships with your co-workers, your family members; you name it. It affects how you view life as a whole, and it can go on for years; sometimes even decades. They say that a woman has a baby boy, it’s because she’s given a love that she deserves. I truly believe it’s true, because it was only when I had my son that I felt like I was truly healed from my trauma; like I was back to my old self again to who I was prior to what had happened to me.

McCartan said that it took him a decade to feel ‘normal’ again. That means that he was 22. He’s 31 now. He started dating Dove Cameron 11 years ago at age 20. He was still going through the motions and struggled to cope through his trauma at the time. OF COURSE he wasn’t a good partner at the time. I’m not necessarily giving him, nor anyone for that matter, an excuse for being an a**hole. But it’s certainly a reason. McCartan’s treatment of Cameron throughout their relationship was his way of acting out because he was unwell. The abused becomes the abuser. He found Cameron’s vulnerability and used it to his advantage.

Even though this is a blog all about women’s issues, I tend to mix it up a bit and write about men as well. They have struggles too. They struggle with mental health too. And we shouldn’t omit that part of their vulnerability. Moreover, I previously wrote about men and sexual abuse. Remember that blog post about Chris and Johnie? Remember how I wrote that they were two damaged goods who got together? That was even the title of the post, which you can totally check out once you read this one. The same thing could be said about Dove Cameron and Ryan McCartan.

Chris and Johnie, who appeared on season 5 of ‘Love Is Blind’. Their relationship was…messy, and that’s putting it lightly. The duo had a connection during the pod phase of the experiment, and Chris was even brave enough to open up to Johnie about his experience with sexual assault. He was raped by a woman while on vacation when he was younger. Johnie was very considerate and empathetic when she listened to his story. Nevertheless, she also had a connection with JP, another contestant, and she chose him over Chris. When JP didn’t choose her back, Johnie realized she made a mistake and practically begged Chris to take her back. Chris, in turn, rejected her.

The duo ended up getting back together after a chance encounter at the airport. They were shown together again, this time as an official couple, on ‘Lobe Is Blind’ when the engaged couples were having a BBQ that Chris and Johnie were invited to. The entire segment was weird and dramatic. Johnie was anything but welcomed at the BBQ, specifically by JP and his fiancée, Stacy. She was verbally attacked by the two, and brutally so. JP went as far as getting Chris asked and telling him Johnie wasn’t good enough for him and he deserved better. I wrote about this more in detail in my initial post about Johnie and Chris’s relationship, but Chris didn’t do anything to defend his girlfriend. He just let the abuse go on and listened to JP as if it was all normal.

Then the reunion was released, and we found out that Johnie didn’t get her happy ending with Chris. Just a short time following that BBQ, Chris ghosted Johnie, and she found out he was in an entirely different relationship with another woman. And you could be asking yourself, ‘How could he be so cruel?’ I’d be asking that myself too if I didn’t relate to his trauma. Avoiding conflict at all cost is part of sexual trauma. We don’t want to hurt anyone because we’re hurt ourselves. When he and Johnie reunited for the first time following their ‘breakup’ which didn’t even officially happen in the first place, Chris did show remorse for his actions, which is more than anyone could say about a cheater. Johnie has moved on since her time on ‘Love Is Blind’ as well and is in a happy relationship with someone else.

Again, Dove Cameron has nothing nice to say about her ex-fiancé. Not only has she spoken negatively about him in interviews, but she’s gone out of her way to speak ill of him on social media. When a fan commented on one of her post which simply read, ‘Ryan McCartan’, Cameron replied to them by writing, ‘was horrible to me.’ And when a fan commented that she looked so much happier with her then new boyfriend following her split with McCartan, Cameron replied by writing that she was.

I can’t say I blame her for being so angry with McCartan. She was mistreated by someone she loved. And he was her first love; her first love following her father’s death, and her first love in its entirety. It should’ve looked different. But it didn’t, and that’s because they weren’t right for each other. They might’ve been right for each other had they met at a different time. They met and fell in love at the wrong time. They were BOTH dealing with their own trauma, and they treated each other they only ways they knew how. This was especially the case as to how Ryan McCartan treated Dove Cameron.

You can’t expect someone to be a good partner when they don’t know how to be a good partner. You can’t expect someone to know how to be a good partner when all they’d ever known and experienced is abuse. I wasn’t a good partner myself for that very reason. In time, I learned. I learned that not all men see me as their property; not all men see me as a vulnerable girl that they can use and abuse; not all men will leave once they get what they want. I also realized that despite what I believed and kept telling myself throughout the years since I was 18 years old, I DO deserve to experience love; to receive and give love in return. And that’s exactly what I do now with my husband and son.

I’m sure McCartan was horrible to Cameron. He might’ve been horrible to her, but he’s not a horrible person. I hope now, almost 8 years after their breakup and that she’s so much older and has gained so much life experience since then, Cameron is capable to find it in her heart to emphasize with her ex and the trauma he’d gone through. And I hope that McCarton found his own version of happiness.

But I also can’t fully blame either one of them for the demise of their relationship. Disney had a lot to do with it too. In fact, I’d say that the company is the main reason why Dove Cameron and Ryan McCartan broke things off. The company was the third person in their relationship. I do believe that Dove Cameron and Ryan McCartan fell in love, but I also believe that Disney saw their relationship as a business opportunity. It’s one risk a couple can face when you get into a relationship with your co-worker, and the company you work for sees you as a money maker. And that becomes toxic, especially when you’re in love with such a troubled person as Ryan McCartan; someone who’s still healing from his demons. It’s all a game; and a dangerous one at that.