Jenna And Connor: How Degrassi’s Most Boring Couple Redefined The Term ‘Interabled’ When Labeling A Pairing

We’ve spoken about Claire a little bit from ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation’, and we’ve dedicated an entire blog post to Allie Bhandari. We also mentioned Jenna a little bit as she’s best friends with Allie and even lived with her family at one point in later seasons of the show. She played a big part in Allie’s relationship and breakdown with Leo, the waiter she met in France. She was there with Connor, a longtime friend of Allie, Claire, and previously K.C. when they just started Degrassi, they met at the school’s gifted class, and all of them accepted Connor despite his disability. Instead of judging him by it, they tried to understand him on a deeper level. This was very wholesome to watch, especially as we were first introduced to these characters when they were just 14.

It was even more surprising to see someone like Jenna freaking Middleton not only be friends with Connor, but be in a long-term relationship with him. To understand where exactly I’m coming from, you have to know Jenna’s characteristics, history, and life-events. When she was first introduced, she was in grade 9 alongside Claire and Allie, who quickly befriended her. She’s a cheerleader who, in her own words, is known to be a boyfriend-stealer. She did end up stealing Claire’s boyfriend, K.C soon after, and she and Claire didn’t become friends again until years later. Allie, on the other hand, didn’t take sides in the matter and maintained her friendships with both Claire and Jenna throughout their entire high school years – but not without drama and conflict of course, especially between Allie and Claire.

Allie had always been there for Jenna when she needed her the most. She was there when Jenna took a pregnancy test, and she showed her upmost support for the teen mommy-to-be. It was more support than Jenna ever got from her family or K.C himself and his mother. K.C wanted Jenna to abort the baby, and told her he’d support her every step of the way. But when she told him it wasn’t an option, he fled. He left her all alone in dealing with the new reality that she was pregnant at 15. She had no parents in tow, only her brother. But her brother had his own life and his own responsibilities. He couldn’t commit to being a dad to his little sister’s baby. Throughout Jenna’s pregnancy and even after the baby comes, we see her brother support her, but he ends up moving from Toronto, leaving Jenna alone.

When the baby first arrives, K.C is shown doing the very bare minimum to help out with the baby. He brings Jenna diapers, kisses the baby on the cheek, and leaves to hang out with his friends. He doesn’t seem to care much about Jenna’s needs as a new mom. K.C changes his ways and has Jenna move in with him and his mother for guidance and support after the baby’s arrival. Their relationship seems solid after a brief hiccup following K.C abandoning Jenna during her pregnancy when she told him abortion wasn’t an option. He couldn’t handle being a dad, and I personally don’t blame him for being scared. His own father was a deadbeat one; he didn’t want to be the same for his son. He was scared.

Shortly after Jenna moves in with K.C and his mom, things turn for the worst. Jenna feels all the feels a new mom feels postpartum, and K.C isn’t ever there to support her in any way. Instead, K.C is at work spending extra hours flirting with another girl. Jenna tries really hard to do better; to be better. And she has the help and full support of K.C’s mom. Jenna goes back to school and takes up her musical hobby with Sav, Allie’s older brother. Jenna and Sav had a misunderstanding in the previous year when Jenna mistakenly thought Sav had a crush on her, mostly due to her pregnancy hormones, despite the fact that he was in a relationship with Holly J at the time. But they happily moved past it, but not without drama occurring beforehand, of course.

While practicing her music, the baby falls and hits his head. Jenna takes the baby to the hospital. He ends up being completely fine, but considering Jenna being such a young mom and the situation itself, the nurse has no choice but to call Child Services. K.C instead of being empathetic towards the situation, blames Jenna for what had happened. Jenna, K.C and his mom get ready to be reviewed by Child Services, and simultaneously, Jenna finds out that K.C was cheating on her. As they’re getting for the arrival of the Child Services agent to arrive, Jenna and K.C are viciously fighting, which leads to Jenna hitting K.C with her guitar and leaving a bruise mark on his face. This leads Jenna to make the realization that her son would be better off if she and K.C gave him up for adoption. She realized she wasn’t ready to give up her life for her son. She wasn’t prepared to give him the care that he needed. And he deserved better than the life he lived with her and K.C.

With their son being given up for adoption Jenna and K.C break up for one last time. They realize that the only thing that was keeping them together was the baby, and now that they had no baby to take care of, they had no reason to stay. K.C says this in a heat of the moment and tries to get Jenna to change her mind and get back together, but Jenna knows for sure that staying apart is the right thing to do. She moves out of K.C and his mom’s apartment and moves in with Allie and her parents.

It was Jenna’s road to a fresh start. But she was still feeling lost. The effects of putting her son up for adoption were ever-lasting. She tried hard to bottle up her feelings, but she couldn’t anymore. She wasn’t the same person she was when she was first introduced as a boyfriend stealing cheerleader. She didn’t where to go or where to turn. When she meets newcomer Becky in season 12, she felt like she found her calling, but not because of Becky herself. Becky has a brother, Luke, who catches Jenna’s eye. Luke is the type of guy that Jenna would normally go for. He’s athletic, popular, good looking, and personable. But he wouldn’t date Jenna because she’s not a Christian. To impress him, she gets herself baptized, but he’s still not interested in her.

This really broke Jenna for a while, but Luke ended up showing his selfishness and arrogance when Jenna witnessed him making fun of Connor for his disability. When he saw Connor drop all his books at the Degrassi halls due to clumsiness, Luke asked Jenna while laughing, ‘Do you think anyone will care about him?’ When it looked like she took offence to it, Luke said, ‘Come on, it was just a joke.’ She wasn’t laughing, and instead came to defend Connor. The marked the start of a beautiful relationship. It was when Connor asked Jenna out on a date. Jenna was hesitant at first, of course, but Connor wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. She obliged and agreed to go on a date.

When Jenna told Allie she was going on a date with Connor, Allie thought it was weird, and didn’t even hesitate to make it known. Whether it was because of him having autism or because she knew that Connor wasn’t the type of guy Jenna would ever go for wasn’t very clear, but she giggled nonetheless. I’d say it was because she knew Connor wasn’t the type of guy Jenna would go for. To me, Allie is the most non-judgemental person. She’d been close friends with Connor for years and accepted him for who he is, even when he practically attacked her because she disturbed his daily routine.

In Jenna’s words, her and Connor’s first date was the best she’d ever been on. The two ended up showcasing the most drama-free, healthy relationship of the show. I know that those of you who are ableists and racists reading this blog post won’t agree, but then again, why would an ableist and/or a racist even be on this blog in the first place? Jenna and Connor are not only an interabled couple, but an interracial couple as well. Connor is Black, and Jenna is your typical white, blonde girl.

The fact that they’re an interracial couple wasn’t part of their storyline, whereas them being an interabled couple weighed heavy on Jenna throughout their relationship during their last couple of years at Degrassi. She had genuine feelings for Connor; that wasn’t a question. But she also showed that she cared what other people thought of their relationship because of his disability. She even went as far as trying to change Connor so that people wouldn’t think they were a ‘weird couple’ at an upcoming school dance. She even tricks him into entirely changing her appearance because she doesn’t want anyone to think they’re a weird couple.

Connor is upset with Jenna at first for trying to completely change him just to please other people, but then he also sees her point of view and compromises with her even though Jenna realizes she doesn’t actually care what other people think. This brand new makeover has girls notice Connor in a brand new way. Jenna becomes self-conscious, and tries to change her appearance herself. Connor eases her mind when he tells her he doesn’t care about the other girls because he loves her. And that was how Jenna and Connor consumed their love for each other. Might I add that it was a very big deal to see, as people with autism have trouble with emotions and admitting how they feel. They’re very good at logic, but they lack emotion and empathy. Throughout his time at Degrassi, we do see Connor lack emotion and empathy, but his relationship with Jenna changes him and brings the emotional and empathetic side of him.

Some might say that Jenna and Connor’s relationship came out of nowhere and was completely random. Some might also say that Jenna and Connor’s relationship was the most boring relationship of the entire show, if not the entire Degrassi franchise. But I have to disagree. Their relationship was the healthiest and most drama-free relationship of the entire Degrassi franchise, and it was exactly what Jenna needed after having gone what she’d gone through – from her toxic relationship with K.C to having a baby at 15 to being left completely alone and without family.

Jenna and Connor brought out the best in each other. Jenna brought out the emotional and empathetic side of him; the humane side of him that he lacked, and Connor brought out the kindness in Jenna that we hadn’t really seen in her previous storylines. Her relationship with Connor was completely unexpected, but that was what made it so unique. It completely resonated with me as I myself am considered be in an interabled relationship with my husband.

Though Connor and I have drastically different disabilities, I saw some aspects of my own relationship, especially the beginning stages of my relationship, in Jenna and Connor. It’s important to note that Jenna and Connor were still in high school when they got together as a couple, and yet, they were still a mature, stable and loving couple. It’s rare to see in this day and age; in real life and TV. I believe that movies and TV glamourizes toxicity in love. The more conflict and drama there is between a couple, the better. But that’s just unhealthy – mentally, emotionally and even physically. I know this because I’m not in high school, but what about the target demographic for the show? They will see the glamourized toxicity and drama between couples and think it’s normal.

But it’s not. It’s not normal at all. Love isn’t that complicated. And if it is, it shouldn’t be. Love should be patient. Love should be kind. Love should be generous and filled with light. It’s not always going to be rainbows and sunshine, of course, but nevertheless, it should be safe and nourishing. As I watched ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation’ to its entirety, I was utterly exhausted. I couldn’t keep up. The getting together, the fighting, the breaking up, the post-breakup fighting, the getting back together, the breaking up again. And the cycle continued. That’s why watching Jenna and Connor’s relationship unfold was so refreshing. It was simple. It was exactly how a relationship in the real world SHOULD be.

My husband and I personally never experienced ableism in our relationship. Mostly, it’s because I don’t care what other people think of me and try to stay away from people who put me in a box simply because I have a disability, or even two for that matter. What other people think of me doesn’t concern me. What other people assume about me is none of my business. I live my life as I please. I never let me having cerebral palsy define me. I never allowed other people to define me or make assumptions about me by me having cerebral palsy. All my life, my mantra has always been that my disability is a part of my life; NOT my whole life. That’s just how I was raised to think of myself.

And my husband? He says to me that witnessing me living with a disability, or in his words, despite my disability, is what makes me so interesting. When I asked him if he’d court me if I didn’t have cerebral palsy, he said he wouldn’t. And he didn’t mean it in a negative way. Quite the opposite. He meant it in the most positive way possible. He’s seen me thrive and live more life than any able-bodied woman he ever laid eyes on. His words, not mine. He was learning along our journey together; about me, about cerebral palsy; about disability as a whole – the good, the bad, and the ugly side of it. In a sort of cosmic way, it was cathartic. He was learning by seeing and experiencing; not by reading on the internet or otherwise.

When I previously said that ableism wasn’t ever a part of our relationship, I didn’t mean to give myself all the credit. My husband deserves it as well. In fact, I think he deserves more credit than he realizes himself. The people we kept around were always very good to us, and they were all very supportive of our relationship. I keep looking back at all the lovely toasts that our friends made at our engagement party and our wedding, and I can’t help but smile. It was lovely. It was touching. It was beautiful. And it was unforgettable. Everyone could see how much my husband loved me. One of his friends even said, ‘When (my husband) believes in something, he’ll never let it go.’ And that made me realize…that ‘something’ was me.

He could never care less about what other people thought of me or our relationship. He didn’t need anyone’s approval. I only heard of one instance where someone who was his acquaintance spoke negatively of our relationship and his perception of what my husband’s future would look like with me, and my husband immediately told him to f*ck off and never speak to him ever again. It didn’t surprise me one bit, though. He never cared what his own father said to him about me and his perception of what his future would look like with me, so why would he care to listen what some acquaintance had to say? And in case you hadn’t noticed, especially if you’re new to this blog and hadn’t read any of my previous articles, his father…let’s just say…doesn’t like me very much and hasn’t had any nice thing to say about me, and he’d been VERY vocal about it to my husband and probably anyone who’d listen. That was the one and only person in our life together who showed his ableist ways towards our relationship, but that person was more than enough. He, as a person, always lacked emotional intelligence and empathy. He was always set in his ways, and in his mind, he was always right, and everyone else, including my husband, was wrong and stupid.

Throughout Jenna and Connor’s relationship timeline, we didn’t see Jenna’s family’s reaction to her dating someone who was disabled. Her brother moved away from Toronto by that point, and we never met her parents. We also never met Connor’s family. We just know that he lived with Mr. Simpson, a.k.a Snake, and his family throughout his time at Degrassi, and that he’s Mr. Simpson’s Godson. Nevertheless,we did get to see Jenna and Connor’s friends’ reactions. Though surprised at first, they were all very supportive of their relationship. There was a little weirdness, of course, but we have to remember that this was high school, and these were still teenagers. Hence, we can’t say for sure if the couple experienced ableism of any kind? That’s why I wish we could see what their life is like now in adulthood. There are so many questions that come to mind. Are Jenna and Connor still together? Did they meet each other’s families? Did they experience ableism in their relationship? Did they survive it? I wish I could see them in a similar age as my husband and are I are at. I wish I could see whether we have even more in common than I thought.

But my husband and I and Jenna and Connor are just two interabled couples used as examples. There are more that we could talk about. There’s much more to be said. For instance, I came across a woman on Instagram a couples of years ago who is now married to a man who is deaf and has cerebral palsy. She and I really connected because of how similar our stories were. We both contributed as guest writers to the ‘Love What Matters’ online magazine, where we shared our love stories with our significant others. I told my story from the disabled person’s point of view in an interabled relationship, and she told hers from the able-bodied person’s point of view of the relationship. After reading her story, I felt compelled to connect with her. Her father had the same exact reaction to her husband as my husband’s father did to me.

What was completely new and unknown to me was the ableism she and her husband experienced from strangers on the street. She’s posted time and time again how strangers would come up to her and her husband assuming that either they’re brother and sister or that she’s his care-taker. Not even his partner, but an employed care-taker. Why is it so damn hard for the outside world to believe that disabled people can love and nurture and be in romantic relationships just like anyone else? It’s so frustrating to know that people can be so presumptuous. She even said some people doubted she had a good sex life; some would even be surprised that she has a sex life in the first place.

Just recently, I saw a Reddit thread where a woman was venting out her frustrations at her relationship with her disabled partner; or, as she put it, her frustration with her partner who just so happens to be disabled. But she wasn’t frustrated with her partner. She was frustrated at her inner circle’s reaction to their relationship. Her boyfriend has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. In her words, her boyfriend is ‘the most wonderful, respectful, funniest person I’ve ever met.’ And I absolutely love that she wrote that he ‘happens to be disabled.’ She wrote in the post that at that point, they didn’t meet each other’s family and friends yet, but that their loved ones knew of each other’s existence. The previous night, she happened to mention him to a friend, and the friend, though was happy for her, responded with, ‘Oh I’m so sorry. Are you okay with that? Are you okay with being his cared? Is it going to be a mutual relationship?’ And her family, as soon as they found out that he was disabled, became more intrusive about their relationship and its validity.

Dr. Phil once said to an interabled couple that appeared on his show, ‘It won’t work, 100 out of 100 times this won’t work. She can be your lover or she can be your caretaker but she can’t be both.’ Many interabled couples were offended by his testimony of what an interabled couple is. One woman wrote on social media: ‘You don’t want to get into a relationship with a person with disabilities because it won’t work out. Lemme just say, Dr. Phil, I am mom to one really cute teen boy with intellectual and physical disabilities. He has more empathy, warmth and emotional intelligence than many people I know. He would definitely require care from a partner. And he would make someone really, really happy. So don’t you go turning the ladies away from him. And not for nothing, Dr. Phil, someday you might need caregiving. Does that would mean your own relationship would inevitably disintegrate?’

The fact of the matter is in this entire scenario is that Dr. Phil certainly has a point. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I believe that people with disabilities don’t deserve love, because they do; WE do. I’m in love. I found my person to share my life with and created a beautiful family with him. But he’s not my caretaker. We’re a team. We’re in a partnership. A partnership isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes, he can bring more to the table. Other times, I’m the one who can bring more to the table. We’re equals. I didn’t even know that there is a term for couples such as us. Personally, I think it should be omitted. Just because we’re disabled doesn’t mean we’re incapable. It means we do things differently to get the same result. Degrassi’s Jenna and Connor were the starting point at showcasing exactly that in media.