Lauren Conrad: The 7 Biggest Mistakes She Made In Her Friendships With Heidi Montag and Audrina Patridge – And How Those Mistakes Made Her A Better Entrepreneur

Sometimes I really can’t believe that I dedicated blog posts for the Kardashian Jenner family or anyone that has any sort of relation to them, but I’d already written SEVERAL blog entries on them, and this one is no different. This time, I’d like to go way, way back in time, and talk through the mid 2000’s millennial era classic, ‘The Hills’. It was a reality show that was written in the stars. Anyone who grew up in the early and mid 2000’s couldn’t get enough for it. Every teenage girl wanted to have the friendship that Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag had in the very beginning of the show, before Spencer Pratt came and swooped Montag off her feet. Every teenage girl wanted to know that she could have the same career ambition as Lauren Conrad did on the show. And every teenage girl loved watching the endless drama unfold, whether it was a love drama or a friendship drama, or even a work drama. Who could forget the time where Lauren chose not to take an opportunity to go to Paris to be with a guy…

On the show, Lauren dated Brody Jenner, who is Kylie Jenner’s half brother. That’s how the show is relevant to the Kardashians. More recently, Brody was seen celebrating his dad’s Caitlyn Jenner, birthday with Kim Kardashian, who was Jenner’s stepdaughter from the time she was married to Kris Jenner when she was still Bruce. And though Brody and Lauren dated on the show, they never dated in real life. The entire premise of ‘The Hills’ became 100% fake even though it was labeled as a reality show. Everyone starring in it were practically playing characters who had the same names as them. One famous example of a fake storyline was Lauren and Heidi reconciling and having a heart-to-heart before Heidi got married to Spencer. That episode marked the last appearance Lauren made on the show. And beforehand, Spencer made a phone call to Lauren apologizing to her for his wrongdoings and begging her to come to the wedding. That was also fake. Lauren didn’t want to go to the wedding, but the producers of the show locked her in the basement for as to not be seen and for her to not walk away until she did that scene.

Since we’ve been talking so much about friendships, especially in the previous two posts, I figured it would only be applicable to continue the conversation of friendships; female friendships. Again, Lauren and Heidi’s friendship is one that every teenage girl wished they had up until they ended the friendship in the second season of ‘The Hills’. The friendship was fractured after rumours started that Lauren made a sex tape with her ex-boyfriend, Jason Wahler. Lauren believed that Heidi and Spencer were behind it. When Heidi came to Lauren’s place to apologize for the rumours circulating, Lauren famously said, ‘I want to forgive you and I want to forget you.’ Netflix’s Twitter account, now known as X, posted that famous clip in recent months, to which Spencer responded, ‘If this was 2024 Heidi would have Bethany lawyers sue for defamation.’

Pratt seemingly referred to Bethenny Frenkel’s work with the legal defence of reality stars and her desire to unionize the world of reality TV. This move was motivated by the more recent events of ‘Vandepump Rules’ stars Rachel Leviss-Tom Sandoval-Ariana Madix and the aftermath of the cheating scandal that went down on the show. More specifically, Madix, in retaliation to her ex-boyfriend of 9 years cheating with her friend, Leviss, posted unsolicited photos of Leviss online with permission. In 2023, Frenkel appeared on the ‘Literally! With Rob Lowe’ podcast, ‘What we need is, we need a union — not meaning me, I’m not even doing it anymore — meaning, that genre needs a union because those people aren’t even reading other people’s words. They’re taking such risks by being their own voice.’ Last summer, Frankel urged reality stars to go on a strike amid the  SAG-AFTRA strike.

The fight between Lauren and Heidi isn’t old news, despite it starting in the 2000’s, almost 20-freaking-years-ago. In more recent years, Heidi has spoken positively of her former friend. In 2021, while appearing on the ‘Call Her Daddy’ podcast, Heidi said, ‘I’ll always love Lauren, I appreciate everything she’s done for me. I think that she never needed to do that. I always, she knows, was her best friend … I was there for her for everything and it didn’t have to go that way. She had a boyfriend I didn’t like, when she was with Jason [Wahler], and I supported her. I literally was like, ‘I’m your girl, I’m here for you, whoever you’re with I just want to support you with.’ And then when that whole Spencer thing happened, she’s like, ‘Well if you date Spencer, you’re off the show,’ and I’m like, ‘What? You are not the friend that I am to you, like why would you do that to me? I can’t even believe you’re doing this to me right now. How dare you, and I’m not your dog. Yeah, I appreciate you getting me on this show, but that doesn’t mean you own me and you can tell me what to do in my life. I just don’t appreciate that. I do have such a love for Lauren, and it didn’t have to go that way.’ In 2022, Heidi spoke more of Lauren with Us Weekly. She said, ‘Lauren and I have not spoken. Now that we’re both mothers, I think we see how unimportant so much of the drama is. Also it really makes you have a tighter group of friends, and you don’t really have time to chit-chat or have long-term acquaintances. We are just on such different paths at this point. I would hope there is more mutual respect. The last time I did talk to her years ago, it was on a good note and it was a good conversation. So I really wish her the best and I am excited for all her success, that she has and her healthy beautiful kids and I would hope she’d wish the same for me at this point too.’

While it’s great to know that Heidi and Lauren are on much better terms now than they were before, despite them not being friends, but rather friendly with each other, I can’t help but want to revisit what Heidi said about her former friend in the 2021 ‘Call Her Daddy’ interview. Though she ended up staying on the show until the 5th season in 2009, Lauren open up to Seventeen Magazine that she came this close to quitting ‘The Hills’ ahead of season 3 following her rift between Heidi and Spencer. She said, ‘I actually came dangerously close to not doing season three, because I really didn’t want to do the show with Heidi and Spencer. I’m not who they are. I don’t stage my own publicity. I just kind of live my life and do my job, and I don’t want to be grouped with them.’ She stuck by those words when she didn’t return for ‘The Hills’ reboot in 2019. She now chooses to stay out of the public eye while focusing on her family and business. A source said in 2018 when the news of ‘The Hills’ reboot broke, ‘She loves being a mother and focusing on her family and on her work. She has a very full and happy life.’

When Lo Bosworth, who appeared on both ‘Laguna Beach’ and it’s spin off, ‘The Hills’, appeared on Bethenny Frenkel’s podcast, ‘Just B With Bethenny Frenkel’ easier this year, she discussed her time on both shows, as well as what it was like to be a part of it as a woman. She said, ‘Lauren and I are friends and there are rumblings that there may be a 20th anniversary special of ‘Laguna Beach’ that’s coming down the pipeline, maybe. I sort of talked to a couple people about it because we graduated from high school in 2004. It’s 2024. It is our true 20-year high school reunion this year, and so in the context of ‘Laguna’, I think it would be great to get back together with the old gang. I think that everybody’s doing really well, everybody is really friendly. And Laguna’s a kind, nice version of reality TV, right? You get to ‘The Hills’ and it’s, like, much bigger impact from a drama and trauma perspective. Not by our own fault. We were very young women constantly put into compromised situations where we had to blood sport it out against each other to get through a day of production. I served a very specific role, which I’m actually grateful for in hindsight. I didn’t have to get into it too much. But in the areas where I did, it still kind of haunts me to this day because there’s so many stories behind this story everybody saw on television that run very counter to what the public thinks of you.’

When I watched ‘The Hills’ back in the day, I remember I was intrigued by Lauren’s friendship with Audrina Patridge. They were roommates on the show, and became even closer friends when Lauren and Heidi first began their feud. So you can imagine my utter disappointment when Audrina revealed that her and Lauren weren’t actually as close as it seemed on the show, and that it was all practically an act. According to Audrina, as she wrote in her memoir, ‘Choices: To The Hills and Bacj Again’, there are numerous reasons why she didn’t maintain a friendship with Conrad. More so, the main reason for it was Conrad’s controlling behaviour. She writes in her book, ‘Unfortunately, one connection that didn’t last was my relationship with Lauren, who doesn’t really talk to anyone from the old cast. There are reasons that she and I aren’t friends anymore, and there was a lot of turmoil between us that we couldn’t talk about on-camera at the time. It’s what led to me moving out of the pool house out back when I lived with her and Lo [Bosworth]. Lauren and I had the same agent and publicists, and it seemed to me that I was getting requests, opportunities and gigs that our mutual agent was giving to Lauren instead. Yes, I blamed my agents for this, but it still wasn’t great for my friendship with Lauren. I also found her to be very controlling over her friends. If you’re in her circle, you have to do and say what Lauren does or says. Otherwise, you’re on the outs.’

But I also don’t know why it surprised me that Lauren and Audrina weren’t friends. When Lo moved in with Lauren and Audrina in season 3 of ‘The Hills’, Audrina opted to live in the guesthouse rather than together with the two friends, making it a two-against-one stride. Lauren and Audrina’s friendship began falling apart from that moment on. but that wasn’t the only reason why the friendship was drifting apart, at least on-screen. Audrina was dating Justin Bobby at the time, which she then admitted was a fake relationship made up by the show’s producers to benefit the storyline. At the time, she was actually dating her now ex-husband, Corey Bohan. Though the relationship was entirely made up, Lauren’s character really showed itself through her alienation of Audrina because she didn’t like her fake boyfriend. She made it very clear that she didn’t like Justin Bobby, and practically made Audrina choose between her friendship with her and her relationship with Justin. In hindsight, this storyline very much mirrored the one of Lauren’s fight with Heidi. That’s not to say that Audrina didn’t make some mistakes in her friendship with Lauren, at least in her alternate universe, like when she believed the rumours that Lauren hooked up with Audrina’s boyfriend, Justin Bobby, when she knew exactly how Lauren felt about him.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that Lauren wasn’t a good friend throughout the time on the show. Two very different people in Lauren’s life had the exact same thing to say about her – that she had a controlling behaviour. Whether it’s for the same reasons or not, it makes no difference, because at the end of the day, it all comes down to Lauren’s controlling behaviour. In both her friendships, Lauren used her power to control her friendships, in her friends’ work, and even more so, in their professional lives. I always thought I was Team Lauren when I was a teenager. The viewers idolizing Lauren was, I think, how producers of the show intended to happen. In season 1, episode 1 of the show, she’s in the very first scene narrating her life’s story since finishing high school. We’re supposed to love her, to root for her, and support her every step of the way. And when she gets into a fight with anyone, we’re supposed to be on her side, and her side only.

The producers did their job right, especially considering the fact that ‘Laguna Beach’ and its spinoff, ‘The Hills’ targeted a younger female audience. Young teenage girls don’t know anything better than what they see on TV. They don’t have the experience to say otherwise. But as those who were teenage girls in the early and mid 2000’s revisit ‘The Hills’ as grown adult women, we realize that we were VERY wrong about Lauren. We realized that there are actually many things wrong with Lauren and how she handled herself throughout her time on the show – both in her friendships and career – on-screen and off-screen. We realized that the person we idolized is actually the anti-hero. We realized that Lauren isn’t just the person we don’t want to have to in our lives, but one that we’d question whether we want to be ourselves. With that said, I compiled a few of Lauren Conrad quotes on friendship and business:

• ‘I think a good friend, to me, is all about trust and loyalty. You don’t ever want to second-guess whether you can tell your friend something.’
• ‘Some people are willing to betray years of friendship just to get a little bit of the spotlight.’
• ‘One way to stay grounded in the entertainment industry is to surround yourself with very good people that will constantly remind you how uncool you are.’
• ‘People label you the way they know you best.’
• ‘When you do multiple things you love, it doesn’t feel like work.’
• ‘I definitely aspire to be someone like Tyra Banks, who’s created an empire for herself.’
• ‘I go into meetings, and people have this preconceived notion of me that I didn’t work hard to get where I am.’
• ‘I’m sure a lot of people don’t take me seriously.’
• ‘When you are working really hard and you’re really focused on your career, a lot of other things suffer.’
• ‘I think when you’re put into a completely different situation and environment, you really see who you are. You’re not affected by what’s around you. You are who you are.’
• ‘Most of my friends all tend to work in restaurants part time, doing acting classes on the side.’
• ‘There is never just one thing that leads to success for anyone. I feel it always a combination of passion, dedication, hard work, and being in the right place at the right time.’
• ‘Listen to advice from people who have been there and done that. It is so hard to believe that when you are young, but parents, mentors, teachers, they can all be so valuable when it comes to advice.’
• ‘It’s very hard to lose someone who’s the closest person to you in your life.’
• ‘The only thing that ever really bothers me is that a lot of people think I’m that girl who hates your boyfriend. I’m really not that girl. Some of my friends’ boyfriends are my best friends.’
• ‘If you’re putting your name on something, it’s really important to be a part of it, or else people will just do whatever they want with it. And then it’s not really you, and it won’t be true.’
• ‘You have your personal life and you have work life; when it’s combined, it’s difficult.’
• ‘Blogging is a great way to show your talents and interests to prospective employers, while adding an edge to your resume. If you blog consistently it shows your dedication, passions and creativity – all of which are key attributes employers look for in job candidates.’

I added that last point on purpose. For if you’re reading this blog because you’re just a hater, or are someone who’s ever laughed at me for doing what I do (and there’s a lot of you), maybe now you actually understand what I do. Blogging is f*cking beautiful. Writing is f*cking beautiful. Creating is f*cking beautiful. And I got Lauren Conrad to prove my point. She’s practically saying what I’d been saying all along from the time that I’d been a content creator. The thing with Lauren Conrad, I think, is that she’s a marvellous businesswoman. She was meant to be that. But because she’s a marvellous businesswoman, she’s a sh*tty friend. It’s almost like she treats her friends as if they’re her employees. She has a job description for them, and if they f*ck up and don’t do what they’re supposed to do or if what they do isn’t up to her standards, they’re out of her life; they’re fired. And not only that, but she’d used her power to sabotage them and threaten to ruin their reputations and lives.

It’s just not the way to treat people; not for a woman, nor a man. In the list of quotes by Lauren Conrad that I included above, I didn’t even include her quote about reality TV, and how it wasn’t ever her intention to be a part of that world. That quote was very telling. It wasn’t her intention to be a part of the world of reality TV, but she used it for her own gain and purposes. She used it to show that she could be a badass female entrepreneur, and she took her role on ‘The Hills’ very seriously. It’s a given rule that bosses and employees shouldn’t be friends. It’s okay to be friendly with each other during outside office hours, but not friends. It’s also not a good idea for coworkers to be friends with each other outside of work. Though the entire cast of ‘The Hills’ started out as friends when the show started, their relationships were diminished to co-workers instead. Lauren Conrad was the boss as she became was the main character of the show from the very beginning until she left mid-season 5. Kristin Cavallari replaced her following Heidi and Spencer’s wedding episode, and suddenly, it became an entirely different show. I saw an article recently that gave a list of key factors to consider for when a boss strikes up a friendship with an employee. These are:

1. Emotionally mature
2. Transparent and honest
3. Capable of effectively managing their feelings and emotions when things get tough
4. doesn’t feel right or good
5. Well-boundaried and can say “no” to what doesn’t feel right or good
   Aware of the power dynamics at play and strong and brave enough to address them
   Not willing to use or manipulate other people as pawns for their own benefit
6. Aware of the power dynamics at play and strong and brave enough to address them
7. Not willing to use or manipulate other people as pawns for their own benefit

These 7 pointers are the 7 mistakes Lauren made in her friendships with Heidi Montag and Audrina Patridge. There was absolutely nothing wrong in Lauren using her reality TV days to her advantage to start her own empire and show the world what a strong leader she really is. By becoming the main character on ‘The Hills’, she became the most intense character. It was her duty to make the show what we now know it to be. The thing about Lauren is that she’s an honest person and she’ll tell her friends the truth without them asking for her opinion. Not everyone wants to hear an opinion to begin with. Some people tell another person about their troubles just to vent their frustrations out. Lauren didn’t recognize that at the time. It seemed as though she had the ‘main character syndrome’. She previously did say that she initially thought ‘The Hills’ would be about her living in LA and working for Teen Vogue. Though we did see aspects of what she was initially promised throughout her time on ‘The Hills’, that storyline slowly saw its demise when Spencer came into the picture and joined the show in season 2.

Though Lauren started out ‘The Hills’ as the hero, she became the anti-hero as her time on the show progressed. Heidi was always labeled to be the villain, especially by her association with Spencer. But as we revisit ‘The Hills’ and the cast that participated. We realize that Lauren was the real villain. That’s not to say that Lauren is a horrible person, but it IS to say that she had a lot to learn at the time about the science of operating an empire and the science of friendship, as well as the fact that the two don’t mix together. The show is timeless. The fact that so many people are still talking about so many years after it originally aired is a testament to that. I hope that our generation, and the generations after us, see the show in a different light now, and that instead of it being used for entertainment, we use it for a learning curve instead on work, love, and friendships.