Ariana Grande: Why Women Are Belittled And Seen As Less Than In Their Careers – And Exactly Why They Shouldn’t Be

Ariana Grande has had a WICKED (get it????) year, and she will continue to have another wicked year with the release of part 2 of the movie adaptation of ‘Wicked’, which also stars Cynthia Erivo, Jonathan Bailey, Ethan Slater, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Goldblum, Peter Dinklage, and Bowen Yang. It also stars Marissa Bode, the first wheelchair-bound actress to play Nessarose Thropp in any ‘Wicked’ adaptation. Last year, she called the ableist comments she’d been receiving online following the release of part 1 of the movie adaptation. She said on Instagram:

‘There’s something that’s made me a bit uncomfortable, and as somebody who’s disabled with a platform, I just wanted to talk about it really quick. That’s the beauty of art and ‘Wicked’ — these characters and the movie wouldn’t be what it was if there weren’t different opinions on the characters and who’s truly wicked or not. And not liking Nessa herself is okay, because she is fictional. That’s totally fine. Aggressive comments and jokes about Nessa’s disability itself is deeply uncomfortable, because disability is not fictional. At the end of the day, me, Marissa, is the person that is still disabled and in a wheelchair. And so it is simply a low-hanging fruit that too many of you are comfortable taking. The most frustrating part about all of this is how scared I am to even post/talk about this, which is also the bigger reason as to why I’m making this video in the first place. This goes so far beyond me, Marissa, just needing to avoid comments on the internet. These comments do not exist in a vacuum. Aggressive comments of wanting to cause harm and push Nessa out of her wheelchair or that she deserves her disability are two really gross and harmful comments that real disabled people, including myself, have heard before. I have seen firsthand what has happened to my disabled peers who are outspoken online when it comes to calling out ableism and why jokes of standing and being a vegetable — which is a derogatory term, by the way, for disabled people, and a comment that I saw about Nessa — these disabled creators’ comments are flooded with ableist comments. When speaking on ableism, they’re told to just take a joke, and that they’re asking too much, and to stop complaining, to the point where some of my disabled peers, these disabled creators, have needed to take a break online for their own mental well-being. To state the obvious, that’s not good. Please be kind. And lastly, I want to say one of the major themes within Wicked is having the ability to listen and understand one another, and I truly hope that is something a lot of you can practice more and take with you. Thank you.’

As Sebastian Stan said in his acceptance speech for ‘A Different Man’ at the Golden Globes, Our ignorance and discomfort around disability and disfigurement has to end now.’ And as a disabled person myself, I really wish that the rest of the cast had spoken out in her support. But more so, I wish Ariana Grande had said something on the matter as she’s the first billed actress in the film, where she portrays Glinda. Nevertheless, Grande has been getting a lot of praise for her performance, as well as that of Cynthia Erivo, who plays Elphaba in the movie adaptation of ‘Wicked’. The two roles were originated by Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel respectively. Critics of the movie adaptation include:

• TheWrap: Praised Grande and her co-star Cynthia Erivo for making “movie magic” 
• The Independent: Praised Grande and Erivo’s performance, but felt the cinematography let them down 
• Music Talkers: Praised Grande’s performance, saying she struck the perfect balance between tastefulness and precision.

In a full circle moment, in an interview conducted in October of last with E! News, Chenoweth reminisced how she met Grande for the first time when she was 10 years old. She said, ‘When she was a little girl, she came backstage. That’s when we first met. She said, ‘I want to be Glinda.’ So, we just hold each other’s hands and go, ‘Can you believe that this moment has happened?’ I get very emotional when I think about it. She’s going to put her own stamp on this role and people better buckle up because she’s wonderful.’

Grande, for her part, opened up recently on the ‘Zach Sang Show’ about what it meant for her to get to play Glinda on-screen. She said, ‘I have never wanted something as badly as I did this. Everything about me, I had to deconstruct to prove to them that I could handle taking on this other person. I had to completely erase popstar Ari—the person that they know so well—because it’s even harder to believe someone as someone else when you’re so branded as one thing. I had to go all the way and strip that down. I’m so grateful for it because it is the best, most transformative and special experience of my life. I love Glinda so much after spending so much time with her. She’s so strong. Her arc is so rich and so beautiful.’

‘Wicked’ isn’t the first time we’re seeing Grande on-screen. She first co-starred in the Dan-Schneider-created Nickelodeon series, ‘Victorious’, which is now also available on Netflix, as the ditzy, but very lovable and caring, Cat. The show starred Victoria Justice in the main role as Tori Vega, and also starred ‘Dynasty’ star, Liz Gillies as Jade. Grande and Gillies are close friends to this day. Grande then went on to continue her role as Cat in the spinoff series ‘Sam & Cat’ alongside retired actress and author, Jennette McCurdy. That was the role that jump started her career.

Once Grande’s time playing Cat came to an end in 2014, she made the conscious decision to concentrate on her music career. In 2013, she released her debut album, ‘Yours Truly’. Then in 2014, she released ‘My Everything’. Its biggest hit of the summer that year was ‘Problem’, featuring Iggy Azalea. Big Sean also appeared in the song, though uncredited. Of her collaboration with Azalea, Grande said, ‘I fell in love with Iggy when I saw this video of her performing ‘Work’ live, and I just thought she was so original and I loved the way she pronounced her words… I thought we would make the perfect girl-power duo for ‘Problem’, so I’m very grateful that she did it with me.’ After initially heard the song following its recording, she didn’t like it and didn’t want it to appear on the album, but changed her mind after a listening party. This decision paid off as critics couldn’t get enough of the song. Entertainment Weekly noted, ‘The idea that Grande was collaborating with bad girl du jour Iggy Azalea prompted all kinds of speculation, and the result is more or less what everybody expected: Grande’s enviable pipes are still the centerpiece, but she also invites a sax-drunk loop, sexy whisper tracks, and Azalea’s Jay Z-referencing high-speed verse to the party as well.’

Grande’s next big hit was ‘Bang Bang’, a song that she co-wrote and collaborated with Jessie J and Nicki Minaj. The song marked big milestones and achievements for all 3 artists. Grande went on to collaborate again for Grande’s next album, ‘Dangerous Woman’ as Minaj was featured in the hit single ‘Side To Side.’ Their second collaboration didn’t reach the same level of success as their first, but it was successful nonetheless. It currently holds 2.2 billion views on YouTube. This leads me to discuss a more somber time in Grande’s career, which is the 2017 Manchester Arena bombing that happened in London, United Kingdom following Grande’s concert. It was a suicide bombing perpetrated by Islamic extremist Salman Abedi and aided by his brother, Hashem Abedi, who sourced explosive materials. At the hands of the attack, 22 people were killed, and injured 1,017, with many being children and teens. In 2023, it was revealed that the bombing happened due to a missed opportunity by MI5 security as they failed to stop the bomber and his brother from entering the arena. In 2024, many of the survivors sued MI5.

Following the attack, Grande visited the victims at the hospital. A few weeks later, she organized a benefit concert, ‘One Love Manchester’. Artists like Little Mix, Coldplay, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Little Mix, Katy Perry, and Mac Miller made appearances in the 3 hour duration of the concert. Throughout the duration of the show, The British Red Cross received £2.35 million in donations for the ‘We Love Manchester Emergency Fund’. The following day, it was announced that The British Red Cross received another £10 million, with a total of more than £17 million. The singer also donated proceeds from the re-released version of ‘One Last Time’, as well as the live audio version of ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ that she performed during the concert.

In commemoration of the tragedy, Grande revealed she got bee tattoo beneath her ear. In an interview with British Vogue a year later, Grande opened up about how the tragedy affected her. She said, ‘It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe, tremendous loss. But, yeah, it’s a real thing. I know those families and my fans, and everyone there experienced a tremendous amount of it as well. Time is the biggest thing. I feel like I shouldn’t even be talking about my own experience – like I shouldn’t even say anything. I don’t think I’ll ever know how to talk about it and not cry.’

But the turmoil didn’t end for Grande. A few months after the British Vogue interview was released, Mac Miller passed away due to a drug overdose at the age of 26. The two collaborated on two songs together, 2013’s ‘The Way’ and 2016’s ‘My Favorite Part’. They also dated for two years before breaking things off in May 2018. Miller passed away that September. Many were quick to blame Grande for his death, but his friend, Shane Powers, was quick to defend her, and said there was no one more supportive of Miller’s sobriety than Grande. He said, ‘She was a f—ing G to him. There could not have been anybody more supportive of him being sober than Ariana. I saw that, I was around it, I took phone calls from her: ‘How do I help? What do I do?’ This little girl was unbelievably involved and helpful to him being healthy. Whether he was an addict or not, the way that Mac partied was not healthy. Let’s be very clear about that. There was no one in his life more ready to go to the wall for him when it came to him being sober. She was an unbelievably stabilizing force in his life. She was deeply helpful and effective in keeping Mac sober and helping him get sober. And she was all about him being healthy, period, in this area of his life.’

Following her breakup with Miller, Grande went on to be in a relationship with Pete Davidson, and they were even engaged at one point. But due to her grief, the two ended their relationship after a short time. In 2020, during a sit-down interview with Charlamagne Tha God, Davidson said of his breakup with Grande, ‘I totally got it. She would even tell you this. I was like, ‘Listen, I get it, do whatever you’ve got to do, I’ll be here.’ I think I said, ‘I’ll be here until you don’t want me to be here.’ I pretty much knew it was around over after that. That was really horrible, and I can’t imagine what that s— is like. All I do know is that she really loved the s— out of him, and she wasn’t putting on a show or anything. That was f—ed up. Prayers to his family and all of his friends.’

According to Mac Miller’s mother, Grande called the late sing a total of 928 times. And though she’s moved on in her personal life since his passing, having gotten married and even divorced and in a new relationship, Grande never shied away from paying tribute to her late ex, both in her music and in her business venture. Let be known that it’s no easy task to be in a longterm relationship, let alone be in a longterm relationship with an addict. The most important thing someone to do is know when to leave. She left him, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t love him. In fact, she left him BECAUSE she loved him. As she said herself, she was ready to go to the wall for him when it came to his sobriety. But you can’t continue to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. After his passing, Grande posted a truly loving tribute which read, ‘I adored you from the day i met you when i was nineteen and i always will. i can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. i really can’t wrap my head around it. we talked about this. so many times. i’m so mad, i’m so sad i don’t know what to do. you were my dearest friend. for so long. above anything else. i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away. i really wanted to. the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. i hope you’re okay now. rest.’

News of Grande’s separation from Dalton Gomez, a realtor, came while she was in the midst of filming both ‘Wicked’ movies back to back. It was only a short time later that it was reported that she was in a new relationship with her co-star, Ethan Slater, who plays Boq in both films, but not before it was rumoured that she was dating her other co-star, Jonathan Bailey, who is gay, might I add. At the time, Slater was married and had recently had a child with psychologist, Dr. Lilly Jay. Grande was labeled as a homewrecker. Nothing was ever said by either Grande nor Slater of the matter, and they were only seen in public a handful of times since news broke of their romantic relationship.

It was only in December that Dr. Lilly Jay ever opened up about her divorce from Slater, who was her college boyfriend. In an essay published in The Cut, Dr. Jay wrote, ‘No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity. I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage. This, I tell myself, is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide. Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child. While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.’

I empathize with Dr. Jay. I really do. I’ve been with my husband since our college years as well, and I can’t imagine myself and how I’d react if my husband suddenly left just after we had a baby. And not only left, but left me for a well-known celebrity like Ariana Grande, and have our split be so public and for the public’s opinion. No one ever gets married with the thought of getting a divorce. I certainly didn’t. At the same time, however, things just f*cking happen. Divorce happens. In fact statistics show that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Statistics also show that when one person is diagnosed with a chronic illness, there’s a 75% of a divorce, and if two people are diagnosed with a chronic illness, there’s a 95% of a divorce. There was a time where both my husband and I had gone through health struggles, and at some point at the same time, so really, we have no business being together. Hence, I’m so f*cking proud of us!

With that being said, I thought long and hard about the Ariana Grande-Ethan Slater-Dr. Jay love triangle. The public loved to villainize Grande, mostly because she’s a hugely well-known celebrity and a woman, and characterize her as ‘the other woman’. Though she is, in fact, the other woman, there are certain things to be considered before villainizing her. If a man really is happy and fulfilled in his marriage, no other woman in the world would make him or force him to cheat, no matter how hard she tries. I was in that situation myself years ago. My husband and I were at some party years ago, and another woman forced herself on him when I wasn’t looking. She said to him, ‘we could go to the bathroom to have sex,’ as they were dancing. My husband, in turn, turned her down. He grabbed her arms off of him, told her he was married, and walked away. In contrast, a few months later, a friend of mine caught her fiancé at the time cheating with another woman. They were making out outside of a party venue. My friend stayed with him for several more years thereafter, and instead of blaming him, she blamed her for his cheating. I, on the other hand, actually stayed friends with the woman who tried to get my husband to cheat. She wasn’t close enough of a friend for me to care that she’d cause such commotion in my marriage, and if my husband were to actually cheat, I wouldn’t blame it on anyone but him.

Cheating isn’t ever a mistake. It’s a choice. When I think of cheating, I always go back to the Ross and Rachel storyline on ‘Friends’. In the years that followed his cheating scandal on Rachel, Ross always tried to defend himself as to why he cheated on Rachel. The reality of the matter is, however, there was no reason for his wrongdoing whatsoever. The other woman kissed him and he went along with it. And he might’ve blamed his wrongdoings for them being on a break, which they were by the way, but nevertheless, he made a choice to go too far with another woman straight away because his feelings were hurt. If he actually cared, he would’ve waited at least until talking things through with Rachel and actually decide how the relationship would’ve continued. That’s not to say that Rachel didn’t make mistakes in that scenario. Her biggest mistake was inviting Mark, her co-worker, over to her house for pizza while knowing full-well that Ross was jealous of him. But if we were to look at Monica and Chandler’s relationship, when Chandler’s go-worked tried to seduce him while he and Monica were in a long-distance relationship, Chandler was very adamant that he wasn’t interested, no matter how much the other woman tried to change his mind. In hindsight, Ross and Rachel had no business getting back together in the end, and Rachel should’ve actually chosen herself and the job in Paris instead of leaving it behind for a man who probably would make the same decision again through their tough times.

As much as the public wants to villainize Ariana Grande for the marriage breakdown between her new boyfriend and Dr. Lilly Jay, it’s no one’s fault but Ethan Slater himself. The most important and positive thing in the situation is that he’s still a good father to his baby boy, in the words of Lilly James herself. At the end of the day, you divorce spouses, not kids. Though Slater didn’t do right by his college sweetheart, he’s doing right by his son. In October of last year, Slater opened up about his relationship with Grande for the first time to GQ. He said, ‘Obviously, it was a really super big year, and I think there was something that was really difficult about things in your private life being commented on and looked at by the public. There were a lot of big changes in private lives that were really happening, so it’s really hard to see people who don’t know anything about what’s happening commenting on it and speculating, and then getting things wrong about the people you love. So just to address that part of it, that feels really hard. But, of course, it was an amazing year and a really beautiful thing, and I’m just really excited. I’m just really, really proud of Ari and the work she’s done on this. She’s poured herself into it. I’m really proud that I got to be there for that part of it, and I’m really excited to be there for this next step of it when the world gets to see the amazing thing that she did. She’s such an amazing performer. I think everyone knows how good she is [as] a recording artist and all that, but I’m just really blown away by the songwriting.’

It was right there that Ethan Slater explained to us all why exactly we should all be concentrating on being amazed and mesmerized by Ariana Grande’s talent and ever growing career rather caring about and judging her by her personal life. What she does in her personal life is HER business. That’s why it’s called ‘personal’ life. We need to put more emphasis on the word ‘personal’. Grande is a force of nature. She’s someone that all women should strive to look up to. Liz Gillies said in a recent interview with E! News of her longtime friend, ‘When I met her at 13 or 14 years old, ‘Wicked’ was her show, and Glinda was her girl. We would sing the songs together, and she would tell me about her dream of playing this role. I know, throughout the audition process, how hard she worked and how much she wanted it. It is so incredibly well-earned.’

And she’s right; the recognition Grande has been receiving is most certainly well-earned. I just wish this recognition wasn’t so overshadowed by the judgement of what she does in her personal life, particularly the men she dates. She had a goal set since she was a little girl, and she busted her a** off to achieve that goal. There’s something to be said about Ariana Grande and the way she’s been seen as less than throughout the years. She’s a prime example of how women are less recognized for the work that they do in their careers, and instead are judged for their personal lives. There are 5 main reasons for it:

• Gender bias – gender bias is a significant barrier to women’s career advancement, and they may face discrimination, limited opportunities, and a lack of support. 
• Stereotypes – outdated stereotypes about women’s leadership capabilities can make it difficult for women to be seen as leaders. 
• Home and family responsibilities – women often prioritize their partners’ jobs and deprioritize their own careers due to the disproportionate amount of home and family responsibilities they carry. 
• Lack of role models – women may not have access to diverse women role models, mentors, and networking opportunities. 
• Employer support – women may be less likely to have training paid for by their employer, and may be less likely to feel that training has improved their job security or prospects for future employment.

These 5 main reasons are reason enough to put a stop for society to diminish women and treat them as though they’re m nothing but props. Women have a great deal of skills, qualifications, charisma, charm to be seen as equals. Women are more than just housewives and stay-at-home-moms. Women are more than just who they have sex with. And let it be known that being a stay-at-home mom IS a job, and a free one at that. Let it be also known that it’s much harder than being in the workforce.

For any man out there that belittles his woman for being a housewife, shame on YOU! I’m sure that if the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t even know what to do with yourself within the first couple of hours. The job of being a stay-at-home mom involves more work, more hours in the day, and again, absolutely no reward and no care in the world. And at least in a man’s 9-5 job, he gets a lunch break everyday. Some days, stay-at-home moms don’t even get that. And then once the man comes home from work, not only does the stay-at-home mom take care of the kids, but the man as well! So what does the job of a stay-at-home mom entail?

• Childcare: Taking care of children, which can include helping with homework, activities, and transportation to and from school 
• Housework: Cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, and other household maintenance 
• Emotional support: Providing emotional support to family members 
• Planning and scheduling: Planning, scheduling, and arranging activities 
• Budgeting: Managing the household budget

In the year 2025, let’s aim to celebrate and uplift women. Let’s recognize them more for who they are and all the amazing things that they do, just like we’re seeing Ariana Grande right now. Women deserve more. Women deserve to be seen. Women deserve to be heard. Women deserve to be valued. Women deserve it all!