Jessica Alba: How Her Relationship with Cash Warren Was Doomed From The Start – And How It Could Be Compared To That Of Miranda And Steve From ‘Sex And The City’

Just as long as we’re on the subject of ‘Sex And The City’ and divorces, I think it’s just natural that we continue on with the conversation. And just as long as we’re on the subject, Bridget Moynahan’s, the actress behind the subject matter of my previous post, Natasha Naginsky of ‘Sex And The City’, ex-boyfriend and father of her son, Tom Brady, divorced model, Gisele Bündchen, after 13 years of marriage. Bündchen recently welcomed her third child, her first with boyfriend Joaquim Valente. Brady seriously screwed up with this one, as he chose his career over his marriage. Sometimes, a man just has to choose, and personally, I think he made the wrong choice when he decided to unretire himself from football. And make no mistake, Moynahan moved on from her relationship with Brady as well. She’s been married to Andrew Frankel since 2015.

Another long-term couple who got divorced was Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. They separated more recently, back in January or late last year to be exact, and their divorce is still ongoing. In Alba’s divorce filing, she listed the date of separation as December 27, 2024. The two were together for 20 years and married for 16 of them. They had 3 children. If I were to describe their entire relationship in 5 words or less, I’d say it was weird, toxic, filled with jealousy. I personally didn’t understand why they were together in the first place. In hindsight, their relationship somewhat mirrored Miranda’s entire relationship with Steve from the ‘Sex And The City’ franchise. We all know that Miranda and Steve weren’t right for each other. We all know that Miranda settled in her relationship with Steve, and their eventual divorce in the first season of ‘And Just Like That’s actually made sense. Hence, Jessica Alba’s marriage and the demise of the marriage could be compared to that of Miranda’s story, but maybe with the exception of Miranda’s sexual awakening following her divorce from Steve.

Alba is an actress, and has been for 33 years. She’s only 43 as of the publishing of this post, so we have an understanding that most of her life has been dedicated to her work as an actor. You might’ve seen her in movies such as ‘Honey’, ‘Fantastic Four’, ‘Into The Blue’ ‘Good Luck Chuck’, ‘Sin City’, ‘Valentine’s Day’, ‘Little Fockers’, and many more movies, as well as TV shows. In 2011, Alba co-founded The Honest Company, an American digital-first consumer goods company providing an alternative to baby products with ingredients such as petrochemicals and synthetic fragrances. The company was officially launched in 2012 with 17 products. In 2013, The Honest Company’s sales reached $50 million, and by 2014, the company was valued at $1 billion. Alba was initially inspired to create The Honest Company after the birth of her first child in 2008, as well as her own history of childhood illnesses.

Cash Warren is an American film producer and assistant to ‘Fantastic Four’ and ‘Taxi’ director, Tim Story. He’s also the son of Michael Warren, a retired actor and former college basketball player. He played Officer Bobby Hill on the NBC television series ‘Hill Street Blues’. He played basketball for the UCLA Bruins, winning two national titles (1967, 1968) and earning first-team All-American honors. Warren met Alba while filming ‘Fantastic Four’ in 2004. They married in 2008, and had their first child, daughter Honor, soon after.

After news broke that the two were headed for a divorce, Alba released the following statement on her Instagram, ‘I’ve been on a journey of self realization and transformation for years – both as an individual and in partnership with Cash. I’m proud of how we’ve grown as a couple and in our marriage over the last 20 years and it’s now time for us to embark on a new chapter of growth and evolution as individuals. We are moving forward with love and kindness and respect for each other and will forever be family. Our children remain our highest priority and we request privacy at this time.’

You’re probably wondering what Miranda and Steve from ‘Sex And The City’ have anything to do with Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. Actually, a lot. They’re practically the same couple, if you ask me. When we first meet Miranda, we see her be the independent, strong-willed woman that she is. She’s a lawyer and works in a male-dominated work environment. Hence, she has to be rhetorical independent, strong-willed woman that she is in order to be successful. She met Steve by chance when she was waiting for Carrie, who stood her up for a date with Mr. Big, at a bar. Steve was her bartender. Obviously, there’s a difference in the power dynamic in the relationship right from the start.

When ‘Sex And The City’ was revived for what we now know as ‘And Just Like That’, viewers were shocked to find out that Miranda and Steve were on the rocks. Miranda eventually asked Steve for a divorce to begin a relationship with Che, Carrie’s non-binary boss. It was the weirdest, out-of-the-blue love triangle. And though the love triangle was out-of-the-blue, the divorce itself between the two wasn’t. As they were breaking up, Steve told Miranda, ‘You and me, we’ve been together for a long time, and it’s always been like this. You don’t think that I’m enough, then I’m kind of enough, and then I’m not enough again? And I’m always there, you know, hangin’ in there for us.’

If there’s anything we can learn from the ‘Sex And The City’ franchise, it’s that there’s absolutely no such thing as a happy ending. It’s been telling us that a happy ending is just an illusion since 1999. Carrie’s happy ending was cut-short when Mr. Big died of a heart attack. She then questioned her entire 20 year courtship with him when she resumed her romance with Aidan, and asked Miranda, ‘Was Big one big mistake?’. Samantha ended her relationship with Smith, her much younger boyfriend who genuinely loved her and wanted to be with her, after 4 years together because she felt she was losing her independence and womanhood while with him, and she delivered her most definitive line, ‘I love you, but I love me more,’ breakup line. Charlotte is the only one of the three who actually got her happily ever after with Harry. But even he’s her second husband. She thought she’d get her happily-ever-after with Trey, her first husband, her ‘Prince Charming’.

And then there’s Miranda herself, who with all intents and purposes, settled in her life with Steve; mostly because throughout their relationship, he made her feel unworthy and that she was the problem in their entire courtship. No matter what stage in their relationship, they were in, Steve somehow always managed to blame her for their issues. Throughout the original series’ run, they were often considered not a good match due to their vastly different socioeconomic backgrounds, but this very factor was the main factor in why they weren’t a good fit. This led to tension and occasional feelings of incompatibility, particularly when navigating social situations or discussing future plans; despite their initial attraction, these class differences, and because it was Miranda who was the successful one, which made Steve feel like less of a man, often caused friction in their relationship throughout the series. The key challenges in their relationship included:

• Class disparity: Miranda’s wealthy lifestyle as a successful lawyer clashed with Steve’s more modest background as a bartender, creating awkwardness and sometimes making Steve feel inadequate in social situations. 
• Miranda’s controlling nature: Miranda’s strong personality and tendency to be critical could sometimes make Steve feel belittled or stifled. 
• Communication issues: While they had chemistry, their communication style could be strained, with Miranda often expressing her needs in a blunt way and Steve sometimes struggling to voice his concerns. 

Miranda never intended for Steve to be anything but a one night stand, but he fell head-over-heels for her. More so, Steve saw being with Miranda as an opportunity; an opportunity for him to be mothered by someone other than his own mother. In a sense, through her relationship with Steve, Miranda seemed poised to repeat the pattern she’d played out in Season 1 with Skipper. Unlike with Skipper, Miranda continued to give Steve chance after chance after chance until their cast differences just couldn’t be fixed anymore. That was supposed to be the end of Miranda and Steve, but the character became so popular that show-runners decided to bring him back. Unlike Carrie’s relationship with Aidan, fans always knew they wanted Miranda to end up with Steve.

The show-runners really tried to sell us on Miranda and Steve’s ‘happily-ever-after’. We were all meant to believe that they were meant to be in the end. It’s not a stretch to believe that Miranda would find herself unhappily married to Steve and living reluctantly in Brooklyn. Everything that happened to her, every decision she ever made, was somewhat forced on her. So many of those decisions were semi-coerced or based in fear: fear of being alone, fear of becoming too cynical, fear of never being a parent, probably even internalized homophobia. Of course, the key to a successful relationship is compromise. Miranda, however, over-did it. It seemed as though she was the only one doing the sacrificing in her marriage to Steve, and she became the unrecognizable person that she became on ‘And Just Like That’.

Men like Steve Brady are actually dangerous, and for more reasons than one. If we really think about it, Miranda attracted men like Steve. Just look back at Skipper, Miranda’s fling in season 1. He was very similar to Steve. Unlike Steve, he was a ‘website creator’, which was a much more prestigious job than a bartender. Skipper had a big role in season 1. Then, suddenly, he disappeared with no explanation. He only made a brief appearance in season 2 finale. Ben Weber, the actor who portrayed Skipper didn’t get a reason for his absence either. He said it may have had something to do with the fact that the show closed in its on main foursome very quickly after the show began, but that still doesn’t account for the way Carrie, who knew Skipper through her work sphere and befriended him, seemingly cut him out of her life for no reason.

Susan Seidelman, who directed the show’s pilot and two other season-one episodes of ‘Sex And The City’ had her own opinions of Skipper. She said, ‘I thought Skipper was adorable. He was a really nice counterpoint to Miranda’s no-nonsense behavior, him being so romantic and such a cuddly, teddy-bear kind of guy. Maybe [the writers] felt like that was not a relationship that was going to last too long because they were so different…I don’t know!’ And she’s absolutely right. Miranda would’ve eaten someone like Skipper alive had he been a long-term boyfriend rather than a fling, at least season 1 version of Miranda Hobbes, that is. Fans of the ‘Sex And The City’ franchise saw her storyline in ‘And Just Like That’ as a fall from grace, were loud about their view on the character’s arc, saying that everything she did was very much not her.

But in actuality, it was her. More so, it was her based on the unrecognizable person that she became in her relationship with Steve. In hindsight, the only time Miranda was truly herself was when Steve wasn’t in the picture. She once said, ‘I’m a lawyer, not a love interest.’ She also once said, ‘I believe this is love, therefore I will suffer through it. In fact, the more I suffer, the stronger the love must be.’ The first quote was Miranda Hobbes at her best. The second, on the other hand, was Miranda Hobbes with Steve. These two were two entirely different people.

There were numerous moments where Charlotte’s view on love and marriage was absolutely questionable. She was the hopeless romantic type of love; her Prince Charming. She wanted her fairytale ending. She thought she’d found it with Trey, a wealthy heart surgeon, and rushed into marriage. Instead of her happily-ever-after with Trey, Charlotte got her fairytale divorce. With that said, unlike Carrie, who very much supported Miranda’s relationship with Steve, and was his biggest advocate and supporter, Charlotte was very cynical of Miranda’s relationship with him. And I have to absolutely, 100% agree with Charlotte.

In one particular scene, Miranda was telling the girls of her relationship drama and worries with Steve. Carrie argued that an income gap and class differences weren’t and shouldn’t be an issue in relationships as they weren’t an issue in her relationship with Mr. Big. Charlotte, on the other hand, had a much different view of the matter. She said that an income gap and class differences between two people in a relationship did, in fact, matter. Carrie said that rich men date not-so-rich women all the time. That might be true. But what the women give in return is…sex and a 50’s housewife. Just think of how Mr. Big treated Carrie and Natasha. He treated Carrie like a hooker and a sex buddy, and Natasha, to him, was someone he could come home to and show off to his rich, high-class circle. Charlotte’s argument was that it was more than just about income; it was about background and education.

We all know that in later seasons, Samantha met Smith, a man much younger than her whose career she helped jumpstart. They started dating. Of course, Samantha wanted nothing more than a fling; a one night stand. Smith, however, was truly and genuinely in love with her. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to love her and support her time and time again. He didn’t leave her even when he had every chance to do so. He stood by her through her battle with cancer and the insecurities that came with it. He and Samantha were also of different class and income gap. Even more so, they were of different age gap. The reason why they worked, whereas Miranda and Steve didn’t was because Smith never felt threatened by Samantha’s success. He was proud of it. It’s important to note that Samantha and Smith didn’t break up for the same reasons that Miranda and Steve did. They broke up because Samantha didn’t feel like her own person in her relationship with Smith. She felt that, after 4 years together, her life revolved around Smith, and she desperately needed to change her circumstances in order to be to the person she once was. She felt that breaking up with Smith was her only option.

In hindsight, Carrie and Mr. Big made much more sense than Miranda and Steve ever did. When Natasha and Carrie met years after the iconic Natasha line, ‘Now not only did you ruin my marriage, you ruined my lunch,’ Natasha said she never understood why Mr. Big married her when he was always in love with Carrie. The answer is actually much simpler than what my previous blog entry dedicated to Natasha ever entailed. He married Natasha because she was the woman of his dreams; by that, I mean that she was the woman he felt comfortable showing off to his rich circle and connections. He felt they’d approve of her. Carrie, though, he was genuinely in love with her, and actually had fun with her, didn’t fit the narrative. He was almost embarrassed by her and was embarrassed to be seen with her.

Steve was your very typical man-child, and I personally can’t believe he was such a popular character at the time of the original series’ run in the 90s and 2000s. And because I was utterly appalled by the character, I decided to do some much needed research. I needed to know WHY Steve was so popular and what exactly made him so likeable. Apparently, and these are NOT my words, Steve represented a relatable, down-to-earth, and supportive partner to Miranda, contrasting with the often self-absorbed and glamorous nature of the show’s main characters; his loyalty, genuine affection, and ability to challenge Miranda’s cynicism made him a well-liked figure among viewers. The main reasons for his popularity at the time:

• Contrasting dynamic with Miranda: While Miranda is portrayed as a strong, independent career woman, Steve is a more laid-back, working-class character, creating a dynamic that many found appealing and realistic. 
• Genuine and loyal: Unlike some other male characters on the show, Steve consistently demonstrates genuine care and devotion towards Miranda, making him a reliable and trustworthy partner. 
• Relatable flaws: Despite his positive qualities, Steve also has his own vulnerabilities and imperfections, which made him feel more like a real person to viewers. 
• Character development: Over the course of the series, Steve’s character arc showed growth and evolution as he navigated his relationship with Miranda and matured as a partner. 

Miranda’s biggest flaw throughout the original series was that she went with her heart when she should’ve gone with her head. That was certainly the case when it came to her entire relationship with Steve – including what we saw unfold in the movies. One thing is for certain – Steve did, in fact, mature throughout his time in the original series. When we first encountered him, we saw him as a literal man-child. To put it lightly, this is a term first appeared in the 14th century simply to refer to a male child. In the 1700s, the phrase ‘man child’ began to morph into what it means today, a regression to child-like behaviors. Finally, in the 80s, this phenomenon was dubbed ‘Peter Pan syndrome’. It’s important to note that this term not an official diagnosis. When identifying someone as a man-child, or a man having ‘Peter Pan syndrome’, one must answer the following questions:

• Are you frustrated by what you perceive as his apparent lack of emotional, social, and mental development?
• Do you feel that certain attributes that initially attracted you to your partner and that you used to love (such as a laid-back and fun-loving personality) are now causing difficulties in your relationship?
• Do you sometimes feel like you are talking to a teenager rather than a grown-up when you attempt to engage them in a discussion?
• Is their behavior immature, irresponsible, and unreliable?
• In response to their behavior, do you feel that you have to work extra hard to compensate or even cover up for them?

I’m certain that if anyone were to ask Miranda all these about Steve, she’d answer ‘Yes’ to all of them. But Steve did change over time. He opened his own bar and got his sh*t together…without Miranda, and that almost killed her. It wasn’t even that he got his act together, but that it wasn’t completely acknowledged that it was thanks to her that he changed for the better. Luckily, though, Steve did thank her and gave her the credit for being the one that motivated him to change for the better.

This change, however, didn’t necessarily mean that they should’ve gotten back together and built a life together. Even with the fact that they had a child together after a one night stand, they could’ve been a great co-parenting team, which they already were, without being a couple. During the same conversation where Charlotte and Carrie were at odds with each other when it came to two people in a relationship having an income gap and a class difference, Miranda said, ‘I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.’ And that was where the biggest issue in their entire relationship played out. Miranda always felt that she needed to apologize for her success. Samantha, on the other hand, never felt that she had to apologize for her success when she was with Smith, and that was because Smith was always just very comfortable in himself and never pressured Samantha to lessen herself to make him feel more of a man.

Steve is very much a traditionalist. Him opening his own bar didn’t change that. After they got married, he still expected Miranda to make all the sacrifices in the relationship. She was the one who had to move when she didn’t necessarily want to. She did it for Steve. She was the one who undertook the role of a caregiver to his mother while still being Brady’s mom and working. And she did it all because she loved him. But what did he bring to the table, really? If you really think about it…nothing. The first ‘Sex And The City’ movie saw Miranda and Steve hit a rough patch after Steve had sex with another woman. When he confessed to the wrongdoing, he had the audacity to blame HER for what he did as they didn’t have sex for 6 months by that point. And to that I’d say, ‘Yes, Steve. It’s because she’s the one holding your family and your home together while still working, and all you do is…work.’ A 1950’s mentality right there. They broke up, and rightfully so. They should’ve stayed that way. But again, Miranda went with her heart and not her head. She made a pros and cons list of getting back together with Steve. The cons list was much longer than the pros, and yet, she still went ahead and got back together with him. WHY???!

‘And Just Like That’s saw Miranda question it all, and it actually made perfect sense. By that point, she had the pandemic to spend at home and really reflect and make sense of her life and marriage to Steve. It made her come to the realization that she felt trapped in a stagnant marriage, experiencing a lack of passion and sexual fulfillment, leading her to pursue a connection with Che Diaz, a non-binary character who represented a new, exciting dynamic in her life, even though it meant leaving her long-term partner Steve behind. Her newfound attraction to a non-binary character had nothing to do with the end of her marriage. She just so happened to be attracted to a non-binary person. The marriage would’ve ended regardless – even if she was attracted to another man or stayed single. The key factors in their eventual breakup were as followed:

• Lack of communication: Miranda didn’t openly express her dissatisfaction with the marriage to Steve, leading to a build-up of resentment. 
• Changing desires: As Miranda entered a new phase of her life, her needs and desires evolved, potentially outgrowing the dynamic she had with Steve. 
• Che’s appeal: The introduction of Che, a charismatic and confident character, presented an opportunity for Miranda to explore a different kind of relationship. 
• Age-related issues: Some viewers interpreted the storyline as reflecting potential challenges faced by couples in later stages of life, including changes in physical intimacy. 

This leads me to come back to discuss Jessica Alba’s marriage to Cash Warren. To many, the announcement of their pending divorce was a surprise. But there were numerous signs throughout their 20 year union that their relationship was doomed – just like Miranda and Steve. In 2023, Warren admitted that early in their relationship, the two broke up due to his jealousy. He said on the ‘Whine Down with Jana Kramer’ podcast, ‘When we first started dating, I was really jealous of other guys and the attention she was getting from other guys. It just wasn’t making me feel good. We broke up. It was jealousy. I was turning into an a**hole, and so we broke up. During that time apart, I made a promise to myself to channel that [jealously] in a different way.’ Does it sound familiar? Because it totally reminded me of how Steve was jealous of Miranda. He was also just as insecure as Steve was. He also showed his insecurities during a joint interview with Alba where he bragged about how great it would’ve been to be an actor because he’d be able to kiss other women and get away with it. It was absolute cringe, and Alba was obviously uncomfortable with that remark. She’s always been more successful than him, even more so with the success of The Honest Company, and he was obviously insecure about it all.

And yet, the former couple did do something right in their marriage, which was communicate – something that Miranda and Steve didn’t do enough of. In a September 2021 interview with People magazine, she said, ‘At different times, there were different things that we needed. Around the time I had the kids, it was like, ‘I need [date night] once a week.’ And he’s been like, ‘I need you to be present on the weekends and not work.’ Over-communicating, maybe that’s it. I don’t think we have a secret at all. We just have to check each other.’ And to mark their 16 year wedding anniversary, which was their last, in 2024, Alba paid tribute to Warren by writing on Instagram, ‘I’m proud of us for making it this far. There is no real set of rules or guidance that can ever prepare you for what it means to commit to another person and choose to be family. Through thick and thin we have continually found our way back to each other and have chosen one another.’

It’s very sad that Jessica Alba and Cash Warren’s marriage didn’t last. But what utter can teach us, women, is to never settle for anything less than we deserve. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married a year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, or even more – never settle. If it’s not for you, and you finally realize it’s not for you, end it. Period. And I’m not saying this with a grain of salt. I’m not saying my marriage is perfect. It certainly isn’t. We’re constantly changing and we’re constantly evolving. I don’t know where our future is headed, but I know that we’re putting in the work and the effort to make our marriage a priority, and I know that no matter what happens, we’ll always be a family.