Nobody Wants This: Breaking Down Joanne And Noah’s Entire Interfaith Relationship In Season 1 – And Whether Or Not Noah Lives Up To Adam Brody’s Dave Rygalski From ‘Gilmore Girls’

‘Nobody Wants This’ became one of the most beloved Netflix shows last year as soon as it came out last September. I know I couldn’t get enough of it. It starred Kristen Bell and Adam Brody in lead roles. Bell played Joanne, a sex and dating podcaster, and Brody played Noah Roklov, a rabbi introduced to Joanne by her friend. The show was created by Erin Foster, who based the premise of the series on her own life. She converted to Judaism after she married Simon Tikhman in 2019. And did you know that she’s the former step-sister of Bella and Gigi Hadid after David Foster married Yolanda Hadid? We already talked about the fact that Bella and Gigi are pro-Palestine in previous posts. Foster is Pro-Israel. I wonder what family dinners look like in the family now…

‘Nobody Wants This’ should’ve really been called ‘EVERYONE Wants This’, because quite literally, everyone wanted this. It holds a 7.9 rating on IMDB, and 94% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Lucy Mangan wrote of the series in her review for The Guardian, ‘This will-they-won’t-they between a rabbi and a sex podcaster is as funny, sweet, scabrous and romantic as comedy gets. Everybody will want this…’ She also compared it to ‘Harry Met Sally’. I personally disagreed with that testimony because, in all honesty, I HATED that movie. It shouldn’t have been so romanticized, whereas ‘Nobody Wants This’ deserved to be romanticized.

Joanne and Noah were a couple facing a major challenge due to their vastly different lifestyles, as well as different religious backgrounds. These factors led to significant tension around Joanne’s potential need to convert to Judaism if they wanted to be together; despite their seemingly incompatible backgrounds, they shared a strong connection and were navigating the complexities of their relationship throughout the show. The ending of the season left their relationship somewhat unresolved and open-ended, with questions about whether they can overcome their incompatibilities. Noah was promoted to the Head Rabbi position, which was wonderful news. But there was a catch – if he wanted to to accept the position, he’d have to be married only to a Jewish woman, which meant that either Joanne would have to convert to Judaism, or they’d have to break up. Noah didn’t necessarily ask Joanne to convert to Judaism, but asked if she’d consider it. She accepted to convert so that she could be with him while he chased his dream. But after spending an evening with his very judgmental family, she wasn’t ready to make that sacrifice, and broke up with him. She left to go home, heartbroken. Noah chased after her, even though she told him not to, and passionately kissed her…fade to black.

This interfaith couple was so important to witness, especially during a time like this; a time that we’re now facing following the October 7 massacre and the Israel-Hamas war. Their relationship explores the complexities and complications that could arise in love while facing significant differences, particularly regarding religion, as Joanne wasn’t Jewish and Noah was a Rabbi aspiring to become Head Rabbi, which created a major obstacle in their relationship and forced them to confront personal growth and societal pressures around faith and commitment. Their relationship signified the following aspects of an inter-faith relationship:

• Real-life relevance: The storyline drew inspiration from the creator’s own experiences with an interfaith relationship, making it relatable to viewers facing similar challenges. 
• Complex dynamics: Their relationship highlighted the challenges of balancing personal desires with the expectations of community and family, especially when one partner is deeply rooted in religious traditions. 
• Character development: Both Joanne and Noah experienced personal growth as they navigated their feelings and grappled with the implications of their relationship on their lives and careers. 
• Representation of modern relationships: The show explored the complexities of modern dating in a mature, nuanced way, tackling issues like compatibility, communication, and personal boundaries. 

Luckily, this wasn’t the end for Joanne and Noah. We’ll be seeing them again in season 2 later this year. The relationship also showcased a dynamic where the woman is expected to make a sacrifice for the man she loves in order to stay with him, but instead, we see the man making a sacrifice for the woman in order to stay with her. The erratic narrative reflects the societal pressure on an interfaith couple that threatens their union. Joanne’s love for Noah also affects his job, family, and culture, which pushes the former to sacrifice her love and not make things difficult for him. She didn’t ask him to make a sacrifice for her. On the contrary, she sacrificed her relationship with him so that he wouldn’t hold back on his dream job because of her. He CHOSE to sacrifice his dream job for her.

No one wanted Joanne and Noah to be together. No one believed they’d last. Joanne wasn’t the type to have a serious relationship. She always found something wrong with any guy she dated, and would always look for an excuse to break up with him. She was afraid. She was afraid to get hurt. She was afraid of vulnerability. She was afraid of being emotionally dependant. And finally, but probably, most importantly, she was afraid of being seen as ‘too much’. One notable scene in the show was when Noah asked Joanne what her biggest fear was, to which she answered that it was becoming emotionally dependent on a guy who would one day realize that she was too much and break her heart. She even told him all this while having her back facing him because she was afraid to open up to him and show him her vulnerable side. Once she was done, Noah had her turn around to face him, and validated her by telling her he accepted all her flaws because there was no shame in being herself. That scene very much reminded me of the ending in ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’, where Lara Jean made Peter turn around so that she wouldn’t have to face him when she told him how she felt. She was scared of rejection, and she was scared of facing her fears and show her vulnerability. She only really told him she loved him in the second movie, ‘P.S I Love You’, when he came to pick her up at the senior community centre she volunteered at because she didn’t like driving in the snow, even though they were broken up at the time.

Seeing Joanne and Noah on-screen felt like it was a love letter to all the women out there who didn’t find their Noah; to all the women who didn’t find someone who’d accept them for exactly who they are – flaws and all; to all the women who endlessly dated guys wanted to change something about them because they had their own versions of what they wanted their women to be. Seeing someone like Noah was proof that there are, in fact, good men out there, and that we shouldn’t stop looking for the right man for us. The ‘To All The Boys’ movie franchise basically had a similar character in Joanne and Lara Jean, but we have to remember that Lara Jean was a teenager when we first met her and saw her get together with Peter. It’s a totally different dynamic when a woman is in her 30’s or 40’s and is afraid of being ‘too much’ for a life partner. Seeing Adam Brody play Noah was like seeing Seth Cohen from ‘The O.C’ all over again. Or better yet, seeing Adam Brody play Noah was like seeing Dave Rygalski from ‘Gilmore Girls’ all over again. Not all hope was lost.

And speaking of Dave, Brody recently opened up about his beloved character, and gave us his answer on whether he deserved the ‘Best Boyfriend’ title. He told Elle in an Instagram video in October 2024, ‘No, he wasn’t around that long. We don’t know how he would have been in the long term. He could have been love bombing.’Now that I think of it, he might’ve had a point. In season 3 episode 20 of ‘Gilmore Girls’, Dave won fans over when he told Mrs. Kim, Lane’s deeply religious, strict and controlling mother, that he stayed up all night to read the entire Bible in order to take Lane to prom. While Mrs. Kim finally relented, Dave and Lane’s romance was short-lived because he went to college in California. After giving a long-distance relationship a shot, they eventually broke up. She went on to marry and welcome kids with her fellow bandmate Zack Van Gerbig, played by Todd Lowe, and had twins with him.

I remember watching the storyline of Dave and Lane unfold in season 3. In fact, I remember watching it several times; not just once. And I remember being utterly disappointed in Dave. In hindsight, Lane was failed in her life and became exactly like her mother, something she utterly tried to avoid her entire life BECAUSE Dave left and because she ended up with someone like Zack. Not a lot was ever known about Dave. He only appeared in a total of 9 episodes of the series, and then was only mentioned in seasons 4 and 5. But we do know that he was smart, sweet, witty, quick-minded, and quirky. He was the Jewish male version of Lane, which was why they were so great together. He GOT her.

Dave was one of the only people in Stars Hollow that Jess likes, aside from Rory. This was very telling, considering Jess didn’t like ANYONE, with the exception of Rory, of course. At times, while watching the show, I even felt like he didn’t like himself. With that said, you know someone’s a good person when someone like Jess likes you. The character of Dave was written off because Brody went on to star in ‘The O.C’ to play Seth. In real life, the people that inspired Lane and Dave, producer Helen Pai and Dave Rygalski, are husband and wife, and have been together for 25 years now.

One TikTok user commented on a fan edit of the fictional couple, ‘It’s literally criminal that they didn’t end up together.’ Another wrote, ‘Dave was perfect for her and she was perfect for him, they were soulmates period.’ That comment garnered nearly 1,500 likes. And I totally agree. They WERE soulmates, and had Brody not left the series to star in another just like Chad Michael Murray, who starred as Tristian in season 1, did to star in ‘One Tree Hill’, Lane and Dave would’ve been endgame. Of course, there would’ve been hurdles, trials and tribulations between the two because that’s what makes good TV after all, but nonetheless, they would’ve been endgame.

Lane’s relationship with Dave was authentic, whereas her relationship with Zack came out of the blue. It was so random. It never actually made sense to me what attracted Lane to Zack, and vice versa. Did they even like each other in the first place, even as friends? Lane was a great student, a hard worker, and a responsible young woman. She stayed true to herself when she dared to leave her mother’s house and tried to be independent. Zack, on the other hand, didn’t share the same character traits as her. He was lazy, petty, and compared everything to rock ‘n’ roll. He was the exact opposite of Dave. The one thing that they had in common was their shared love of music and dedication for their band, which was something Dave lacked. In the ‘Gilmore Girls’ revival, ‘A Year In The Life’, Zack and Lane were still together and thriving with their two children. But the couple still didn’t achieve the musical success they wanted and craved years prior. Nevertheless, music was enough for them. Dave left the band after high school and moved to California. Maybe if she stayed with Dave in the long run, Lane would’ve been more aspired in her adult years to become the woman she aspired to be in her younger years, and Dave would’ve been there to support those aspirations and actually help her.

But I’m being too hard on Zack, because he did show some good qualities despite his flaws. For instance, he respected Lane’s religious beliefs in waiting until marriage to lose her virginity. He was frustrated that he had to wait, but he respected Lane’s morals. His respect showed up again on their wedding day when Lane’s grandmother unexpectedly flew in. The couple had to be involved in a Buddhist wedding on top of their planned wedding but they both carried on in stride. Kane got unexpectedly pregnant right on her first time having sex on their honeymoon, and let’s just say, it wasn’t a joyful occasion. Nevertheless, they came together and handled it like adults for the first time.

I personally think that Lane deserved better. She deserved more than a life with Zack and what it turned out to be. That’s not to say that Zack was a bad person, because he did actually have some great qualities in him. He just wasn’t right for Lane. He could’ve been the right one for someone else. He just seemed to be more of a convenience following Dave’s departure. Maybe in another ‘Gilmore Girls’ universe, Lane and Dave are actually together. Even if Dave wasn’t as interested in music as Lane was, he probably would’ve encouraged her to continually better herself. In hindsight, that was how the character of Noah was written – someone who challenges Joanne to better herself and face her fears.

Noah had his own set of issues. The series initially began with Noah breaking up with his long-term Jewish girlfriend, Rebecca. She was heartbroken and tried her hardest to get him to realize that she was good enough for him. Rebecca had a fairly small physical role, but a very vital one in marking Joanne’s biggest conflict with Noah. She often tried to interfere in Noah and Joanne’s relationship, sometimes subtly reminding Joanne of the challenges of being with a Rabbi. Her presence highlighted the complexities of Noah and Joanne’s interfaith relationship and the pressure they face from their communities. 

Rebecca and Joanne were polar opposites of each other. The most obvious example of made them different was that Rebecca was Jewish, and Joanne wasn’t. That was exactly why Noah’s family absolutely loved Rebecca and advocated for the two to be together, but had strong dislike towards Joanne and no issue showing it, especially Noah’s mother, Bina, played by Tovah Feldshuh. She was the real definition of a Jewish mother who has, I’d call it hatred, towards her son’s significant other that he brings home. Not everyone was thrilled with this portrayal. Miriam Handel, a freelance writer, wrote on X, formerly known as Twitter, ‘adam brody is so hot in nobody wants this that it’s making me overlook the lowkey diabolical way in which jewish women exist on the show.’ Hannah Orenstein, an author and editor who lives in New York, said, ‘I was offended by the portrayal of Jewish women, particularly with Esther. She’s bossy, manipulative, sexless, treats her husband like sh*t, and is rude to Joanne partly because of her identity.’

Those who criticized certainly had a point. This portrayal was based on a stereotype. I’ve personally met Jewish women such as Bina. But this portrayal of characteristics of the Jewish mother trope had nothing to do with the woman being Jewish. A woman of any religious beliefs and background could have the same characteristics as Bina. It doesn’t have to be a woman. It could be a man too. My father-in-law had almost the same traits as Bina, it has nothing to do with him being Jewish. He’s just this type of person of person – overbearing, controlling, and unwelcoming. He wants everything done his way, and wouldn’t stop until everyone gave in and did everything as he said. Noah is someone who has an alarming amount of emotional maturity and self-awareness, which is something to be celebrated. He doesn’t take his mother’s bullsh*t behaviour, and has no issue standing up for himself, as well as his relationship with Joanne. The reason why I’m saying it’s something to be celebrated is because this trait is something that not all men have in them. My husband did from the very beginning, but he’s had male friends throughout our relationship who broke up with their girl friends only because their mothers said so. One friend in particular broke up with a woman he really liked only because his mother told him she wasn’t good for him because she was 10 years older than him. My father-in-law aimed so hard at getting my husband to break up with me because I’m disabled.

I saw a lot of my father-in-law in Bina, a lot of myself in Joanne, and a lot of my husband in Noah. But Bina wasn’t the only Jewish woman who showed such toxic traits. There was also Esther, Noah’s overbearing, noisy sister-in-law. She was ultimately depicted as a bitchy, jealous, controlling mother and wife. Bina and Esther are very much the same person. So much so that we saw Sasha, Noah’s brother and Esther’s husband, get just a little too close with Joanne’s sister, Morgan. Esther was portrayed as loud, outspoken, and often overly critical character and fiercely loyal to her family and friends. But she can also be viewed as being extremely judgmental and even vindictive, particularly when it came down to her brother-in-law’s relationship drama, often coming across as aggressive and overly dramatic in her reactions. 

Esther always presented to be overly confident in herself, and was never afraid to stand up for herself, often taking the lead in social situations. She’d use guilt trips or emotional blackmail to get what she wanted. She was always loyal to the people she loved, and this loyalty could sometimes lead to negativity and animosity towards those outside it. This type of loyalty was showcased in her friendship with Rebecca, even after Noah broke up with her. And because she was so loyal to Rebecca, she showed animosity towards Joanne. But it ends up being more than that. Esther felt threatened by Joanne’s close relationship with her husband, Noah, and viewing Joanne as an unwelcome intrusion into their seemingly perfect life; essentially, Esther saw Joanne as a potential threat to her stable relationship, leading to tension and conflict between the two women. In seeing Noah’s relationship with Joanne blossom, Esther somehow felt that she was in a competition with Joanne, and that somehow, her marriage to Sasha was threatened by her newfound presence at family gatherings. She was so focused on Joanne that she was too blind to even see that it was Morgan that she should’ve been worried about; but rather the attention that Sasha was giving to Morgan than Morgan herself. In reality, Joanne wasn’t at fault for Esther’s problems. Joanne’s newfound presence in Esther’s life only put even more emphasis on what a sh*tty person Esther really was. And no, her sh*tty personality had absolutely nothing to do with her being Jewish.

Joanne and Noah were just like any other couple; a couple who were in a healthy relationship, that is. They had fun together. They effectively communicated with each other right from the start. They were honest with each other. They ignored their respective families’ concerns over THEIR union. And finally, but most importantly, they never, ever gave up on each other. Even when the odds were against them, they never gave up on each other. But that didn’t mean that there weren’t at least some issues in their relationship, which made the notion that Noah was the perfect boyfriend seem like…a lie and a false premise.

For instance, Noah chose anyone but Joanne in his relationship with her. Noah picked other people or other obligations over Joanne. This included Noah completely changing their weekend plans for what would’ve been their first vacation together. Joanne and Noah had planned a weekend away, but Noah had to cancel on Joanne to step in for the head Rabbi. On the one hand, this is understandable because it was something Noah needed to do for work, and he had little choice. However, he agreed to step in without even consulting with Joanne first. And speaking of work, Joanne made major changes as to how she conducted herself on her podcast out of respect for Noah and his role as a Rabbi. On the podcast, she openly talked about sex and intimate details of her dating life, but had to change her narrative after she got together with Noah. It was unevenness of the compromise, more than anything else, that was concerning.

Joanne also, over time, had to change her entire identity to fit in with Noah. Along with Joanne changing her approach to the podcast, which was her job, for Noah, she also made major changes to her personality and interests. This was something that Morgan pointed out, but Joanne was too oblivious and too in love to notice that she was changing herself for the wrong reasons. These changes were minor at first, but grew as the relationship got more and more serious. First, it was Joanne going to see Noah play basketball even though she had absolutely no interest in the sport. And then, there was Joanne completely changing and curtailing her lewd, boisterous, sarcastic nature to fit into Noah’s life.

What I loved about Noah was that no matter how many times he messed up throughout his relationship with Joanne, he always redeemed himself, like when he randomly prepared a Shabbat dinner in the middle of a restaurant for her after he bailed on his and Joanne’s weekend getaway. She was upset because she was excited to have her first-ever Shabbat dinner during the getaway, so he made one for her spontaneously. Throughout their relationship, Joanne gave more than she took. Certainly, she sacrificed more than Noah ever did. She even sacrificed her relationship with him for his happiness; not hers. But Noah making the sacrifice to give up a promotion that he so desperately worked hard to prove he was worthy of to be with Joanne showed his love and devotion for her. It showed that no matter how much he thought the promotion was more important to him, and how much he was worthy of it, Joanne’s love was worth more. In the end, he made a bigger sacrifice for Joanne than she ever did throughout their entire relationship. Though she initially told him that she’d be willing to convert to Judaism to be with him so he could accept the promotion, after giving it a thought, she realized she’d be only doing it for him rather than for herself, and that’s just no way to live. Love isn’t about losing yourself entirely for the other person, and that was why she ended it with Noah to begin with. He ran after her even though she told him not to…because he wasn’t ready to lose her.

Erin Foster said of creating the show, ‘This show is based on the only good decision I ever made: falling for a nice Jewish boy. But I realized that being happy is way harder than being miserable – there’s nothing to complain about. So, I created this show based on all the ways that finding the right person can be so hard.’ YESSS! It’s SO much harder to be happy than miserable. But it’s also worth it. It’s worth it when you find the right person. Not the perfect person, but rather the perfect person for you. With that being said, I think we were all just too hard on Adam Brody and the characters he’s played in the past 20 years. No – Seth Cohen, David Rygalski, and Noah Roklov were perfect. They never claimed themselves to be. Nevertheless, each of these three tried to at least be the best versions of themselves, and that’s honestly the most we, as women, could ever ask for in a man.

Not much is known about what’s in store for Joanne and Noah in season 2 of ‘Nobody Wants This’. It might’ve seemed like Noah chose Joanne over his new position, it was definite or crystal clear. What was clear was that he couldn’t have both, and that was something Foster wanted to continue exploring. She told IndieWire in 2024, ‘I think this is the kind of show where you want to get the thing you’re there to get and I wanted to give people that moment of, ‘We choose each other, but everyone knows we’re giving up a lot to choose each other, so how are we gonna do it?’ And that, to me, felt like a realistic but still satisfying ending still with conflict, so you have somewhere to go.’ I’m just glad we’re getting a continuation of Joanne and Noah’s story, because we all know that a grand Hollywood romantic gesture is never actually the real ending to a story. Love is always messy, but relationships are hard, and we want to see more love stories such as that – messiness, hardships, and the realism, of course, that comes after the ‘happy ending’ romantic grand gesture.