I WAS INVITED TO BE A TED TALKS PRESENTER. HERE’S WHY I DECLINED THE LIFE-CHANGING OPPORTUNITY.

Being offered really amazing, life-changing opportunities is always considered to be a milestone. Some years ago, I was in that exact situation. Except instead of accepting that life-changing offer, I declined it. You’re probably thinking I’m crazy, especially considering the fact that the life-changing opportunity was to be a TED Talks presenter. My parents sure let me have it and never allowed me to forget that I was crazy enough to decline such a spectacular opportunity that’s most likely a once in a lifetime one.

I can now tell you myself that I was a fool. I remember myself almost crying when I was first asked to be a part of TED Talks and was forced to turn it down. No one actually forced me to turn it down. My life situation at the time forced me to turn it down. You see, at the time, only a mere year and a half passed by since I was involved in a car accident. I was already diagnosed with epilepsy and taking a whole lot of drugs (epilepsy related) that made me feel worse instead of making my condition better.

My condition worsened over time, to the point that it took over my life. It wasn’t just about the seizures. In fact, the seizures were a very small part of the problem even though I had them every day everyday all day, maybe with half hour breaks in a day. Epilepsy is a neurological brain disorder. My brain felt fried as I struggled to get through my days from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. I was dazed and confused about everything in my days – from where I was to who I was with to what I was doing at certain moments in time. There was also the perception part of the brain that was affected by the seizures. I wasn’t seeing the situations I was in as they were as they happened. If you’d like to know more about epilepsy and the struggles that come with it other than seizures, you can read ‘THE 5 THINGS THEY DON’TTELL YOU ABOUT EPILEPSY‘.

With that being said, I had absolutely no business presenting for such a huge platform. How could I ever talk about what I’d gone through when I didn’t understand it myself? I wasn’t ready to talk about my life so publicly and so openly. I needed time, which in essence, is everything. Now, half a decade and a lot of hard work and determination later, I feel ready to make my story public. That’s why I started this blog as a platform in the first place. In a way, The Graceful Boon is my own little TED Talks platform. What’s even more empowering, at least for me, is that I give an opportunity for guest bloggers to contribute here as well. I give a chance to those who don’t have a platform to inspire others.

I do realize that The Graceful Boon is nothing liked TED Talks. I got a lot way to go for it to be as big and as popular of a platform as TED Talks is. Nonetheless, I’m proud of what I’ve achieved and what I’ve created thanks to what I’ve achieved in the past few short years. Those few ‘short’ years seemed to last a lifetime or two, which is a testament to how much I’ve struggled during that time. This time that I’ve gotten stronger and wise got me thinking a lot about wha I’d present about if I were to be invited to take part in a TED Talks presentation today, in 2022.

I’m really nothing special. But I do have a lot to say and a lot of stories to tell. I could talk about me living with cerebral palsy, me surviving a car accident, me being diagnosed with epilepsy and what life was and is like after the diagnosis. I could talk about me being a businesswoman and living a ‘normal’ personal life despite and because of all of those things. I could talk about me being a rape survivor and an IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) relationship survivor.

There’s a lot that I could talk about in that hour-long presentation that is TED Talks. Though all these topics and life struggles are so different, and not everyone can say they’d gone through all of it in their lives and survived, I’d say they all have just one thing that unites them as a whole – control. I survived an endless amount of control in my life through my struggles with my disability, chronic illness, car accident, and relationships – romantic and otherwise. Hence, my hour – hour and a half of being a TED Talks presenter would all about surviving control.

In my life, the most important thing to have is my peace. All I want is to have a life filled with peace no matter what my circumstances are. That’s something I’ve learned throughout the years. Life is already hard, the last thing I want to do is make it harder. If someone who walks at TED Talks is reading this, I’m available – ALWAYS – to present.