Here is the story of why I became a surrogate and the process I have been through so far
(about 2-3 months before I become pregnant).
I have a good friend who may not be able to have children because of a health condition. Talking with her about her complications and how she might be able to have a child led me to learn about surrogacy. I thought maybe I would become a surrogate for her at one
point but she and her partner are not at the point where they want to have children. But I still felt the calling to become a surrogate.
I put it off for months and months, thinking that it was never the right time because I couldn’t take the time away from work, or my daughter was too young, or so many other excuses. So when I took the leap to work from home and become a stay at home mom I felt the call again to become a surrogate. This time I jumped and signed up to become a surrogate.
Reasons why I became a surrogate:
Along with knowing that so many people struggle with conceiving and having children due to medical issues, the main reason I started this surrogacy journey was I love hearing my 4 year old call me mommy. I also loved being pregnant during my first pregnancy, so doing it again would hopefully be just as enjoyable. Another reason is I felt the call to serve someone in this way. I’m still not sure why or what the outcome will be as I haven’t completed the entire journey yet but I believe there is a reason I was called to this.
Before the Process:
The first thing I did when I made the decision to become a surrogate was to ask my husband because I knew he needed to be on board in order for me to do it. I couldn’t just come home one day and be like, ‘Honey, I’m pregnant with another person’s child.’ – Especially
since he had to be involved in the psych evaluation and medical testing. He was and still is super supportive of me going through with the surrogacy. The second thing I did was Google surrogacy. A lot of information popped up and to be honest it was a little overwhelming. But I tried to find a surrogacy agency that seemed like it had good reviews and also allowed there to be a smoker in the house (my husband smokes and doesn’t plan on quitting). There are so many agencies out there but I landed on Inconceivabilities. What I loved about what I saw on Conceivabilities was that it seemed like they had a ton of support throughout the surrogacy journey and I really wanted that since I have never been through it before. And I can say I have felt the support even though I am not pregnant yet. One thing to note which I was hesitant about is the agency doesn’t need to be in your city or state. I didn’t realize this at first but agencies normally have couples all over the United States with embryos at different fertility clinics across the country as well.
The Process with an Agency:
I signed up to have an initial call with an intake agent. The call went into my background and some of the details of how the surrogacy would work. One thing that surprised me when I came out of the call was I couldn’t travel outside the 48 states for the entire pregnancy and I couldn’t leave my state during the last trimester. Also if I left the country and went into a Zika zone I wouldn’t be able to transfer until after 3-6 months after I got back. Just a few things if you like to travel and are considering surrogacy. The next step was to get a medical approval from my doctor and a zoom call with the agency to make sure the house I was living in was safe. This process took a few weeks. Then my husband and I were interviewed by a person at Conceivabilities to make sure we were in a good mindset about the surrogacy and also to make sure our matching profile was set. Essentially the matching profile is just how they connect you with the parents who want the child. People have different preferences. Some people want to the surrogate to pump afterwards, some don’t.
Some parents want the surrogate to eat organically. And so on. There are countless different match points. It took a few weeks after we got approval from the psych evaluation to get matched but I believe the Universe was working in our favour because I matched with a couple in my state who has gone through the process before – which has been a real blessing because they know the process and I have turned to them for help on many different occasions. From there my husband and I met the parents on a zoom call to make sure we would get along and that we wanted to continue with each other since we would be spending the next year in constant contact with each other. One of the last few steps is to get a medical workup with the fertility clinic. My husband and I are in the process of getting this done. They will take blood draws and do some tests before we can move forward with insurance and legal paperwork. Then it will be on to the embryo transfer and the pregnancy. More updates to come on that front!
The whole process up until this point has taken 4 months and it will still probably be another 2-3 months before I actually get an embryo transfer. So overall it will probably take me 6-7 months from the point I signed up to actually get pregnant. It can sometimes feel like a huge waiting game but in the end it is worth it to give another person a baby! If you are considering becoming a surrogate please feel free to reach out to me with any questions. There is a major need for surrogates in the United States. COVID made the whole process back up and there are so many people looking to have children through surrogacy. When I signed up the intake agent told me they had over 250 parents waiting to be matched. I was astonished because this was from one agency when there are many more agencies in the
Surrogacy is a magical journey where as a surrogate you get to bless another person or couple with a child that they couldn’t have if it wasn’t for you.There are so many people waiting for their own babies. Many of them have gone through immense struggle and/or medical issues to get to where they have decided the route of surrogacy to have a baby. So if you are looking or thinking about becoming a surrogate please take the first step and talk with someone (or me) to see if it would be a good match. There could be parents out there waiting for their baby to be carried by you!
Ways to connect with Amanda directly:
Referral Link: Become a surrogate