I got to watch ‘The Life List’ recently, the newly released Netflix movie which stars Sofia Carson (and Connie Britton as her deceased mother), and I knew I couldn’t miss an opportunity to write about it. Carson went from a Disney star, having made her mark when she starred as Evie in the ‘Descendants’ movie franchise alongside Dove Cameron, Boo boo Stewart, and the late Cameron Boyce, who sadly passed away in 20 in 2019 following him suffering an epileptic seizure in his sleep. It was a truly sad time, and Carson, along with her two living former co-stars, still talk about him so lovingly, and they still to this day reunite every single year to support The Cameron Boyce Foundation that was created in his name to cure epilepsy and put a stop to gun violence. And just like Dove Cameron, Carson is not only an actress, but a singer as well; though I do believe she’s a much better actress than she is a singer. I think my son will agree with me too. Her 2020 Netflix movie, ‘Feel The Beat’ plays at my house almost every single day.
And speaking of kids, let’s talk about Carson’s newest movie, ‘The Life List’, which was written and directed by Adam Brooks, the man behind ‘Definitely, Maybe’, the 2008 movie starring Ryan Reynolds, Isla Fisher, Rachel Weisz, and Abigail Breslin. ‘The Life List’ follows Alex, played by Carson. She’d recently lost her mother to what is assumed to be cancer. Alex is devastated. She was very close to her mother, and always had hope that her cancer would be in remission. When she and her siblings are at the lawyer’s office for the estate hearing Alex is utterly surprised when she finds out that not only does she not get a percentage of her mother’s business inheritance, but that before she actually finds out what her inheritance is, she has to complete a ‘Life List’ written by her when she was 13 years old, and that her mother had left her cassette tapes for her to watch each time she completes a task on the list of the things she listed she wanted to achieve.
Of course, Alex is confused and distraught by this newfound revelation, especially by the fact that her mother didn’t leave her any part of the business, but did leave a portion to her sister-in-law. In Alex’s mind, she was left with nothing. Nevertheless, she goes ahead with her mother’s plan. In the first video, her mother gives her a four point true love test:
- Alex must fully open her heart to them
- They must be kind
- They must inspire her to be her best self
- Alex could imagine having his kids
And would you believe if I told you that after watching the movie during screen testing, many women found themselves breaking their longterm relationships after breaking down the answers to these four pointers? Because that’s exactly what happened. It’s also exactly what Carson’s character did in the movie. Following her meeting with the lawyer, Alex goes back home to her boyfriend, Finn. She tells him of the ‘Life List’ that she must complete in order to get her mother’s inheritance, and he happily encourages her to do it. But not because he wants it for her, but rather because it would be beneficial for him and his own business. That’s the last we see Finn in the movie.
That’s when Alex really decides to complete everything on the list. Not only would it be an opportunity for her to try new things – things that would scare her under normal circumstances- but it would also give her an opportunity to connect with her mother one last time following her demise. She does such things as perform a standup comedy routine, teach at a shelter, and start taking piano lessons. In the in-betweens, Alex learns that the man she’d always known to be her father wasn’t her biological father. Instead, it was a famous musician named Johnny Alvarez. Eager to meet him, Alex goes on a hunt to find him, and her lawyer, whose name is Brad by the way, is there to help her. Brad brings his girlfriend, Nina, but she quietly leaves without saying a word once she sees his undeniable chemistry with Alex. They end up sleeping together the night Nina leaves them to be.
The following day, Alex is waiting to meet Johnny after tracking him down the previous evening, but he was a no-show. She waited for him for an hour. Thereafter, she and Brad left to go home. As he dropped her off, Brad reveals that Nina broke things off with him because of over her. She calls the intimate night a mistake as she feels betrayed by his dishonesty. I found this plot to be completely horrendous. It was obvious that Brad was emotionally cheating on his girlfriend with Alex, and Alex had absolutely no right to be mad at Brad. She slept with him even though she knew, or thought more like, that he was in a relationship with someone else. I found it confusing as to even why she was mad at him in the first place. She sees Garrett, a man she’d been seeing following her breakup with Finn, and leaves the car after Brad plead to her that Garrett didn’t love her.
Garrett had broken up with Alex before she went on her trip with Brad when he saw her ‘Life List’, having accused her of only being with him to finish the list. Alex felt hesitation and doubts towards the relationship beforehand when she realized that all of their dates and activities had mostly been usually Garrett-focused. So she him to join a dinner party with her rambunctious friends. That was where he found the list. As they talk things through about how things went down between them, Alex tells Garrett that, although he missed her, she insists that what he had disliked that night in her apartment are essential elements of her. She based this on a conversation she had with Brad when she asked him if he thought it was weird that Garrett never wanted to come to her place and that their relationship was based on his world and her being a guest in that world. To that Brad asked, ‘How do you really know someone unless you’ve seen their bookshelves or the crazy sh*t they keep in their fridge?’ And with that, Alex and Garrett break up, and Garrett is never seen again thereafter.
Alex feels lost, and questions her life’s decisions entirely. She’s then surprised with an impromptu campout under the full moon with her brothers. This gave them the chance to connect with each other on a much deeper level; something they hadn’t done in a long while beforehand. She tells them of the trip she took with Brad to Vermont, including meeting her biological father, and her they reveal to her that they were all envious of her closeness with her. Alex then shares the videos of their mother with them, and later reconciles with her father – the one that raised her.
That December, Alex goes to Brad’s law office expecting to see Brad. She was going to tell him that she wasn’t entitled to her mother’s inheritance as she didn’t complete everything that was on her life list. First, she’s surprised not to see Brad, but another lawyer she never met. Then she’s surprised to find out that she’s still getting the inheritance despite not completing everything on the list. And then, she finds out that she’s getting her mother’s house. As Alex watches her mother’s last video, she realizes that her journey to complete the ‘Life List’ wasn’t ever about finding love, but rather about finding herself. As she faces the camera, her mother encourages her to embrace love, and strive for it. We see Alex interrupting her mother in the video to embrace her, as we saw her do at the very beginning of the movie. It’s listening to her mother‘s final message to her that makes Alex realize what she’s had all along…with Brad. She goes to see him, and though hesitant to listen to anything she had to say, he stays just as she asks; and she confesses to Brad she felt overwhelmed the last time they spoke. Insisting he fulfills the four criteria of the true love test, they embrace.
‘The Life List’ felt like a Hallmark-ey movie; just as most of Netflix’s original movies are. I wasn’t expecting much from it when I turned on my TV to watch it. And yet, I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t just your typical rom-com. It’s a movie that really makes you think about your life as a whole; and one that makes you question whether your life is headed in the right direction. Not only did the movie have an effect on women’s relationships following screen tests, and saw numerous women break up with their boyfriends after answering the four important questions Alex’s mom had her answer for herself, but there have also been numerous people who quit their jobs after watching the movie. That’s the sort of impact this Hallmark-ey movie has made. Heck, the movie’s four questions even made me think of my own relationship with my husband, and whether or not I made the right decision by deciding to spend the rest of my life with him. And if I were to ever date again, I’d also add another point to the four questions: Is he good to my son?
The most relatable thing about Alex is that she’s lost. Just like most 20-something and a lot of 30-something year olds, she’s lost. She’s no longer connected to her dreams, her ambitions, her goals. She’s just floating around and hoping for the best. But that’s not how life works. You have to know what you want, and you have to take action. In the day and age where technology is taking over, and we, the younger generation, have the attention span of 30 seconds or less, it just might much too hard. We seem to be always looking for the next big thing, the next quick fix, or the transformative piece of tech that’s going to revolutionise the way we live our lives. That’s just how we wind up making bad decisions that make up the course of our lives. I had this feeling too, and I was recently reminded of that when I had a job interview recently. I was asked by the interviewer to tell her of a time when things didn’t go according to plan and how I handled the situation. I was reminded of a time when my entire life was turned completely upside down following me surviving a car accident.
It was 2 weeks before I was set to graduate from college that the car accident happened. It changed the course of my entire life. I couldn’t work full time because of my physical in capabilities due to the accident, as well as for my emotional scarring. With that said, I had to think of some way to make at least a little bit of money while I figured my sh*t out. It started out as making $50 dollars here, $50 there. What was supposed to be a temporary side hustle turned into a full time business as I turned my passion for writing into an entrepreneurial career. And I never looked back at continuing my previously aspired career in Human Resources.
I was initially heartbroken when I realized I couldn’t peruse my career in Human Resources. I felt like an absolute failure. Much like Alex, I felt lost. It wasn’t how I pictured my life. A few months into starting my side hustle, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. This brought more hurdles to my life that I didn’t know I could handle. Social media wasn’t my biggest inspiration. I saw my friends and classmates do great things and move on from the phase I felt stuck in for too long. Yes, I was getting married and I had a lot of love in my kids, but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to thrive in the workforce, and the more time passed, the more impossible it seemed. I tried to put an image of myself online that was an utter lie, and over time I just started not only lying to others, but to myself as well. I’d forgotten who I really was. I’d gotten so caught up in trying to optimise every part of myself that I completely forgot to acknowledge and celebrate the parts myself that just are who I’ve been.
The recruiter then asked to specify a time for her where I was stressed. I gave her a straight up, brutally honest answer. That time in my life was stressful. But I also told her the positive side, as well as the beauty of it all; and it’s that through my struggles, I got to know my own strength, and I got to know that I could get through absolutely anything. Maybe, my life turned a complete 180 turn for a reason, and that I was never actually meant to have a career in Human Resources, and was always meant to be a writer instead. And when it comes to managing stress, my health, to its entirety, is all about stress management as seizures are triggered by stress, and so I told her that I take pride in my health prioritization. I work out on a daily basis. I watch what I eat. I make sure I sleep well.
And maybe it wasn’t the answer the recruiter was looking for, but nevertheless, it was something to be said. Just as the words came out of my mouth, I had an epiphany: all those years of my life that I felt lost were the years I was in Alex’s shoes. Alex wasn’t looking for love. Even following her breakup with Finn, she wasn’t intentionally looking for love. She was looking to find herself again. Love just came to her in the process, and she, just as her mother told her beyond the gave, embraced that love. According to Connie Britton herself, who portrayed Alex’s mother, said herself that Alex’s story encourages audiences to reflect on their own dreams, lives, and what truly matters. And in an interview to promote the movie, Carson said that to prepare for her meeting with Adam Brooks, she jotted down notes that read, ‘Alex Rose is all of us. I think we’ve all found ourselves at some point in our life asleep — alive, but not living. Alex reawakens us to life again. She takes us on the journey that is life itself — to hurt, to lose, to laugh, to cry, to forgive, to heal, to smile, and to love again.’ Carson was actually encouraged by her own mother to take the opportunity to play the role of Alex. In a nutshell, Alex teaches us about embracing life’s challenges and making the most of it, even with the messy and sometimes unexpected turns it can take. The film encourages viewers to reflect on their own priorities, embrace change, and rediscover their dreams. It also highlights the importance of self-discovery, the value of healthy relationships, and the impact of personal choices on one’s life. And to break it down more thoroughly:
- Embrace Change and Life’s Messiness: The movie emphasizes that life isn’t always perfect, and that embracing change and the potential for setbacks is crucial for growth and self-discovery. Alex’s journey, while initially focused on completing her mother’s list, ultimately reveals the beauty and complexity of life’s unexpected twists and turns.
- Prioritize Self-Discovery and Personal Goals: The film encourages viewers to take a step back and reassess their priorities, prompting them to identify what truly matters to them. Alex’s journey is a testament to the importance of pursuing one’s dreams, even if it means making tough choices and stepping outside of one’s comfort zone.
- The Value of Healthy Relationships: The film highlights the importance of family and close relationships, particularly the dynamic between Alex and her mother. It also explores the complexities of love and the impact of personal choices on relationships.
- Making the Most of Life: The movie ultimately sends a message about making the most of the one life we have and not being afraid to try new things or step outside of one’s comfort zone. Alex’s journey is a reminder that life is often the best teacher, and that even mistakes can be valuable learning experiences.
‘The Life List’ was a surprisingly good movie. But there was one problem, and it’s that it was a movie. It would’ve been so much better, and so much more intriguing and interesting, had it been a TV series. There were so many unanswered questions that I, as a viewer needed answers to. The entire movie takes place over the course of a year. Two hours wasn’t even merely enough time to be fully invested in the characters’ plot lines; more specifically, it wasn’t enough time to be fully invested in the supporting characters. The story was simply left unfinished, and it’s not like it would’ve been impossible to make into a series. Let’s not forget 2020’s coming-of-age TV series ‘Dash & Lily’, with Midori Francis and Austin Abrams in starring roles. The show had a very much similar feel to ‘The Life List’. It was a charming, feel-good story, and I couldn’t get enough of it. Even 8 episodes didn’t seem to be enough.
The movie didn’t even show Alex completing everything on her list. It’s implied that the only thing she didn’t do on the list by her December meeting was fall in love, but what about her getting a tattoo? They show a shot of Alex in the mosh pit but quickly move on. The movie leaves it up to viewers to fill in the blanks about how each item emotionally impacts her. I felt like I wanted to get to know her brothers and sisters-in-law, but they weren’t shown enough for me to even care. I especially wanted to know more about her dad; the one who raised her. The movie never showed Alex coming to terms with her finding out that she wasn’t biologically his. It showed potential for the two to rebuild their relationship after Alex met her biological father and got stood up in the process of trying to build a connection with him, but I would’ve liked to actually get to see it actually happen.
The movie also mostly focuses on the development of Alex’s relationship with Brad as he’s obviously the main love interest. But not much is ever shown about Garrett. I was personally confused as to what exactly attracted Alex to him, except for the fact that he’s gorgeous. But why exactly did she like him? He wasn’t a bad guy, but he also wasn’t necessarily a good guy either, and we didn’t necessarily get to know him. He was simply meant to be a conflict in Alex and Brad’s story, and a reason for them ending up together to be derailed. But I also felt that Alex’s love story with Brad wasn’t believable enough. I wasn’t rooting for them at all. In fact, throughout the entire film duration, I hoped that they wouldn’t end up together. Their entire relationship was based on the fact that Brad was emotionally cheating with Alex, and Alex was just fine with it. Most women know that emotional cheating has much more meaning than physical cheating does. Alex was a good person. Brad was a good person. Together, however, they weren’t right. They weren’t good together, and I was actually hoping that she’d end up alone in the end. I felt that she needed it more than ever.
The journey of finding yourself doesn’t always have to involve a love story. Sometimes, the love story in finding yourself is between you and your own damn self. You can still embrace love, but love comes in many different forms; not just in romantic love. And you can embrace romantic love, instead of forcing it, you can allow it to happen naturally. It seemed as though Alex’s love story with Brad was somewhat forced because the movie, based on the 2013 novel of the same name by Lori Nelson Spielman, needed to have a romantic storyline.
I know I said that I liked the movie, and surprisingly so. With that said, you’re probably confused by my criticism of it. Most of that criticism comes from the fact that I wanted to learn more. The movie felt so rushed that I even felt I didn’t get to know Alex herself enough despite the fact that she’s the main character. Like, I know that she was close to her mother and that she was absolutely shattered by her untimely death. But she’d obviously started feeling stuck in her life much earlier than that. That was why her mother initiated and planned out Alex’s life list in the first place. I wanted to know more on how she got to that place. For instance, I wanted to know why exactly she got fired from her job before she was employed by her mother, and how did she get to work for her mother in the first place? Everything just seemed so vague; like answers were mostly given off-screen than on.
The main premise of the movie was actually somewhat problematic. As a viewer, I’m supposed to find Alex’s close bond with her mother adoring. And it was. It was definitely adoring. And yet, it was also absurd. You see, the entire plot of the film centers on a daughter who receives a series of DVDs from her deceased mother, designed to offer guidance and support after her passing. Yet, none of the other siblings receive anything—no heartfelt messages, not even a simple note. It’s hard not to feel for the other children, who are left in the dark while their sister gets this posthumous attention. The few time we saw the brothers on-screen, we saw their devastation towards the fact that their mother showed more favouritism towards Alex, and we did see their heartbreak and grief. Alex did show her videos her mother left for her to her brothers; but the point of it all is…the videos were FOR HER. She was speaking to her in the videos, not them. Maybe that close bond and favouritism towards Alex had to do with the fact that she was a girl, as well as that she was hiding a deep, dark secret about paternity. But this could’ve easily been explored more if the movie was made in a form of a TV show. One of her brothers told her, ‘Your bond. Your little secrets and your private jokes. Like a club the rest of us weren’t allowed into. Maybe for a moment think about what that was like for Dad. For Lucas and me.’ In a nutshell, he described everything we, or I at least, wanted to see so much of on-screen than off.
I learned two very important lessons while watching the movie. 1. To always set goals for myself and have a to-do list, no matter what age; for it’s never too late to find myself as the new me, and it’s never too late to achieve something great. It doesn’t matter in what aspect of life that might be. It could be in love, in career, my health, and even personal hobbies, and 2. To leave something behind for my son, and any other child(ren) I might have in the future. In my previous post, I mentioned journaling and my plan to pass on my journals to my son in the future. It’s a start. But also, I want to live. Like really, REALLY live. We spend so much time telling ourselves that we’d die for our children, but never that we’d live for our children. From now on, I will say exactly this to myself every single day. I won’t just think of what I’d leave behind for my child for after I’m gone, but also for while I’m alive. I want my son to see the best that I can be, and it starts now – by living… for me and for him.
Sofia Carson said on Today, ‘I just felt like I had been Alex Rose, and more so that we’ve all been Alex Rose at one point in our lives. Like, alive, but not living. And she awakened something in me. And I think that’s what we hope this film will do to you when you watch it. It kind of awakens us to life again in a really simple but powerful way.’ Amen. I hope every woman out there finds her way to the woman that she’s always been inside; just like Alex Rose did; just like I did. And I hope that every woman out there knows that it’s never, ever too late to find herself, because every age and every phase of life is beautiful in its own way. Life is messy, no doubt. The best way to go about it is to embrace that messiness. And sometimes, we’ll just need a little push; from our mothers, fathers, siblings, friends, partners, kids, etc. Just know that you’re not alone in your journey.
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