Gabby Petito: The Tragic Tale Of Her Life And Very Avoidable Death

We’ve been discussing domestic violence and abuse in the past few blog posts here, and we can’t go on to another topic of discussion without even the mere mention of Gabby Petito. She was the 22 year old van-life influencer who made headlines in 2021 for the worst reason – she was murdered at the hands of her fiancé, Brian Laundrie while on a cross-country trip.

Concerns grew for Petito’s safety when Laundrie returned home without her in September 2021. He then disappeared without a trace two weeks later. A few days following Laundrie’s disappearance, Petito’s remains were found in Wyoming, and her cause of death was ruled as strangulation.

As of the writing of this post, Petito has 1.1 million followers on Instagram alone. At the time of her disappearance, she’d shared her travels across social media platforms and was in communication with her family. According to police, ‘She maintained regular contact with her family members during her travels; however, that communication abruptly stopped around the end of August.’

The timeline

On August 12, 2021, the couple was stopped by police after drawing concern of domestic violence. The two got into a physical altercation after a fight, but, as per police report from officer Eric Pratt, ‘both the male and female reported they are in love and engaged to be married and desperately didn’t wish to see anyone charged with a crime.’ Petito was described as being confused and emotional. Officer Daniel Robert’s wrote in the report, ‘After evaluating the totality of the circumstances, I do not believe the situation escalated to the level of a domestic assault as much as that of a mental health crisis.’ Police was called by an onlooker who drove by the couple and saw Laundrie slap Petito.

Laundrie and Petito were forced to separate that night. Whatever officers did on that day didn’t help soothe the situation and the domestic violence Petito was living through with Laundrie only escalated. On August 27, 2021, another couple visiting Jackson, Wyoming said they saw a couple in a commotion where Laundrie was going in and out of the restaurant angry, and was visibly outraged towards the staff working at the restaurant. Details of the incident between Petito and Laundrie couldn’t be confirmed and there was no surveillance.

Throughout the last week of August, Petito was still in regular contact with her family. On August 30, they received the last text message from her, but believe it wasn’t her that actually wrote it. The message read, ‘No service in Yosemite.’ During that time, Laundrie was hitchhiking alone and told others that his fiancée was at their van working on social media posts. He did so multiple times throughout the end of August to September until he came home, again without Petito.

The white van Laundrie and Petito were travelling in during their cross country trip was recovered and searched by police. The Laundrie family – Brian and his parents – went on a campground 75 miles away from their home. As for the Petito family, they file a missing person report on September 11 when they couldn’t get a hold of Gabby for weeks and saw that Laundrie came back home without her.

They also wrote a letter to the Laundrie family pleading with them to tell them of their daughter’s whereabouts and help with the investigation. They wrote, ‘Please, if you or your family have any decency left, please, tell us where Gabby is located. Tell us if we are even looking in the right place. All we want is for Gabby to come home. Please help us make that happen. We haven’t been able to sleep or eat, and our lives are falling apart.’

After police and the Petito family pleading with the Laundries, Brian Laundrie’s family requested that police come to their home mid-September where they said they hadn’t seen their son in a few days. Gabby Petito’s remains were then found, and Brian Laundrie’s parents were questioned by police. Police investigation found that Brian Laundrie used a debit card and PIN that didn’t belong to him, with charges of more than $1,000 between August 30 and September 1.

On October 20th, human remains believed to be Brian Laundrie’s were found, along with a backpack and a notebook belonging to Laundrie, along ‘some articles’ belonging to Laundrie were found along a trail he frequented at Myakkahatchee Creek Environmental Park, a site connected to the Carlton Reserve. It was later determined that he died by suicide from a gunshot wound to the head.

Police later investigated the notebook found by Brian Laundrie’s remains and found that Laundrie took full responsibility for the death of his fiancée, Gabby Petito. It was also determined that it was Petito’s debit card that Laundrie used between August 30 and September 1. He also used Petito’s phone during that period, according to police, it was likely to ‘to deceive law enforcement by giving the impression that Ms. Petito was still alive.’

The aftermath

Following the deaths of Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie, the two families were engaged in a wrongful death lawsuit, where Petito’s family accused the Laundries of knowing of their daughter’s death weeks before her remains were found. Petito’s family won the wrongful death lawsuit and were awarded $3 million, which they used for The Gabby Petito Foundation, which is dedicated to searching for missing people and curbing domestic violence. 

Though it’s almost been 3 years since the tragic tale of Gabby Petito’s story of her struggle with IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) that ended in her death, her name will always have an impact. Those of us who’d been through something as traumatic as domestic violence, abuse, and IPV and survived can be certain that Gabby Petito didn’t die in vein. Her story will never be forgotten. Her name is never forgotten.

And speaking of her name (and her story), there’s been a new development. Just last month, FBI released a letter that Petito wrote to her fiancé in which she wrote that she loved him and that she’d always have his back. She wrote, ‘You know how much I love you, so (and I’m writing this with love) just please stop crying and stop calling me names because we’re a team and I’m here with you. I’m always going to have your back. … I just love you too much, like so much it hurts. So you in pain is killing me. I’m not trying to be negative but I’m frustrated there’s not more I can do.’

Also last month, Gabby Petito’s mother, Nichole Schmidt, made an appearance at CrimeCon 2024, where she revealed that she forgave her daughter’s killer, but held his mother, Roberta Laundrie, accountable. To a shocked crowded auditorium, she told, I speak for myself here when I say Brian, I forgive you. I needed to release myself from the chains of anger and bitterness, and I refuse to let your despicable act define the rest of my life. As for you, Roberta, and I call you out individually because you are evidently the mastermind that shattered your family and mine with your evil ways, I see no empathy in your eyes. No remorse in your heart and no willingness to take responsibility for your actions.’

What are those actions that Nicole Schmidt was talking about in her speech, you ask? There’s one, very important details regarding the case that I didn’t mention before, and that is of a note written by Roberta pthat was found with Laundrie’s remains with the words, ‘burn after reading’ written on the envelope. In the letter, Roberta wrote that she’d help Brian dispose Petito’s body. It read, ‘We will always love each other. If you’re in jail, I will bake a cake with a file in it. If you need to dispose of a body, I will show up with a shovel and garbage bags.’

The Gabby Petito Foundation

Following Petito’s death, her ‘four parents’ established The Gabby Petito Foundation, which focuses on raising awareness about domestic violence while also creating tougher laws and policies governing how police respond to reports of intimate partner abuse and missing persons. A lot of work has been done already, and there’s no stopping there.

Through the foundation, Jim Schmidt, Gabby Petito’s stepfather, a former first responder, is now making it his mission to bring awareness to domestic violence and bring training programs for EMT’s and first responders so that they recognize signs of abuse. He told People Magazine, ‘It really made us come to the realization they need a lot of help out there, and if we can just help one or two along the way, it goes a long way. To have someone listen to them and try to help. It really matters a lot. It mattered for us, and we’re just driven by what we do so we’re not going to stop. We can’t get everybody all the time, but we do our best to get the word out there and direct people to services that can really help them.’

Petito’s disappearance and death was all over the news and media in 2021. I was personally following every single update at the time. This was personal to me. I was hoping she’d be found alive, but the more time passed, the more unlikely it seemed. This crime got so much public attention at the time, more than any other missing person crime known to date. Activists and news reporters responded to the attention Petito’s case and called it ‘Missing White Woman Syndrome’.

Joe Petito, Gabby Petito’s father, was upset by this term, as he realized that the media attention his daughter’s disappearance and death brought up a much bigger issue. He opened up to People Magazine, ‘There’s a hierarchy when it comes to missing person fliers being shared. Kids go first, then White women and then women of color.’

In a mission to change that, the Gabby Petito Foundation, founded by Petito’s parents and their respective spouses, donated $100,000 to Black and Missing Foundation and Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women & Relatives, along with the National Domestic Violence Hotline in 2022. Petito added, ‘We want to help all missing people. If the media doesn’t continue doing this for all the people then that’s a shame because it’s not just Gabby that deserved that.’

But Petito’s parents weren’t just going to donate money. Through their foundation, they made it their mission to bring more awareness to thousands of missing persons cases that weren’t getting enough media attention, as well as murders of Indigenous persons whose cases rarely attract the media spotlight. One case they brought more attention to is the murder of Zachariah Juwaun Shorty, which remains unresolved to this day. During their most recent appearance at CrimeCon, Petito’s parents bright up Zachariah’s mother, Vangie Randall-Shorty, to speak about her son.

There are some 4,200 unsolved missing and murder cases involving Indigenous people. Darlene Gomez, who works on pro bono cases for the murdered, missing Indigenous women and their relatives in New Mexico, says, ‘It’s not a crisis, it’s genocide. Generally, Native American people don’t get justice. Because if you look at the numbers of missing murdered Indigenous women and relatives to include boys, men and children, and our transgender and LGBT community, for Native Americans being such a small population, the numbers of the missing far outweigh that of any other nationality.’

A death that shouldn’t have happened…

The sad reality of Gabby Petito’s death is that it was absolutely, 100% preventable. It all started with how police handled that fateful domestic violence dispute between Petito and Laundrie in August 2021. In November 2022, Petito’s parents filed a $50 million dollar lawsuit against the Moab police department. Eric Pratt, the police officer that was called to the scene, admitted that he knew that Laundrie was a threat, but decided to ignore the law nonetheless.

In February 2023, attorneys of Gabby Petito’s family released a previously unseen photo of Gabby Petito from August 12, 2021. I won’t be posting the photo because it’s graphic and can be a trigger, as well as out of respect for the Petito and Schmidt families, and Gabby Petito herself. But it clearly shows the late 22 year old severely beaten and bruised. The photo was taken as a selfie by Petito herself before she and Laundrie were stopped by police, and was later recovered from her phone following her death.

Of the photo, attorneys of Petito’s family said in a statement, ‘According to available data, the image was taken at 4:37 p.m., at or before the approximate time of the initial 911 call.’ It was previously reported that the call to police was made at 4:30 PM that day. The attorneys continued, ‘The photo demonstrates the cut previously noted on her left cheek as well as blood smeared from her forehead, across her left eye and cheek and over her nose, indicating that she was grabbed over her face in such a way that her airways were likely obstructed. Gabby documented the injury and, during the stop, attempted to tell the Moab officers, however, the seriousness and significance this type of assault and injury was completely ignored. Moab Police failed to recognize the violent grabbing of Gabby’s face and obstruction of her nose, mouth, and airways as a critical precursor to her eventual death by strangulation that occurred a short time later. Moab Police failed to listen to Gabby, failed to investigate her injuries and the seriousness of her assault, and failed to follow their own training, policies, and Utah law.’

Two weeks later, Gabby Petito was dead.

The last thing I ever want to do is blame the victim in any domestic violence scenario. This is no different. Gabby Petito wasn’t to blame for her tragic tale. Brian Laundrie, his parents, and Eric Pratt were to blame for her tragic tale. Petito was the victim because she believed that her abusive partner could change his ways. She begged him to change his ways. But he didn’t listen to her pleas. He didn’t want to. He refused to. And with that, he cut her life short. According to the Gabby Petito Foundation’s website, ‘Gabby was a free spirit who loved travel, art and nature. She was just starting her life as a vanlife travel vlogger and was so full of joy as her journey was just beginning. She created the YouTube channel, Nomadic Statik, where she posted about her travels. Her smile could fill a room, she loved movies, music, healthy food, and created amazing works of art.’

According to her parents, Gabby’s biggest wish was for her four parents to be a united front. Now in her death, she got what she wanted. The Petito and Schmidt families are doing a superb job at bringing awareness and advocacy on domestic violence. It’s just sad that it took her dying such a violent death for them to get to be a united front. In death, Gabby is making an impact – more so than she ever did in her life; in her short 22 year life. Her YouTube video has more than 7 million views, and it’s a true testament that we really don’t know anyone’s story just by seeing their activity on social media. But her killer isn’t the one who’s fully to blame for her death. Instead, it’s the people that protected her killer, as well as the ones who avoided doing right by her that are to blame for her death.